This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2621 vocabulary you should not put behind you.
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Today, learn new ways to talk about healing after a big disappointment and find out why this is a connection skill.
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Hey, Aubrey, I have a question for you.
Oh, let's hear it.
When is the last time that you saw the spelling of something and it was actually very different from what you expected?
Okay, this has happened to me a couple of times recently.
The first was, you said in a recent episode, Pesci.
And I was just checking the transcripts to make sure it was spelled correctly.
And I looked up the name and it was spelled so differently.
That's so funny.
How did you even look that up?
Like, how did you...
Like I saw the name, it was just P-E-S-H-I.
And so then I searched, it was like Pesci tennis, something.
And it all came up, right?
It was like French tennis player Giovanni Pesci, but the Pesci is spelled M-P-E-T-S-H-I, which is very surprising.
It doesn't sound like that, right?
Yeah.
People say it.
So I was surprised.
And then another one I just saw a couple of days ago was AI had transcribed something and it said everyone's going to get past it in a couple days, which would should be spelled get and then past P A S T.
Yes, but it wasn't.
It had been spelled P A S S E D, which sounds exactly the same when you're speaking but doesn't make sense.
Would mean something totally different.
And then it also inspired this episode because I was like, oh, that's interesting.
Get past it.
And other phrases for getting over something.
Right.
Can we get past the mistakes that AI makes, right?
Exactly.
We have to.
We have to.
AI is still making mistakes, guys.
It's not perfect.
Be aware.
If you are learning English with AI, you may be learning mistakes.
Yes, absolutely.
If you just are getting AI transcripts somewhere, I guarantee you they're full of mistakes.
Yeah, for sure.
Unfortunately.
So that's why it's such a fun term and everyone loves it.
Such a fun move.
If ever somebody pulls it off, we're very impressed.
Very impressed.
But yeah, so today's episode then is really all about moving past things.
What would be another way of saying that, Aubrey?
Yeah, get over it.
We are going to share a few today.
We have five different ways that we say this in English.
So let's dive into the first one here.
But of course, if all of this sounded unfamiliar, if you missed that conversation about the peshy, you might not be following the podcast.
You might be missing great episodes.
So hit follow wherever you listen.
Yeah, guys, hit that follow button right now.
I mean.
So it depends on what happens here in terms of how quickly we're able to get over something right.
Are we talking about like the end of a relationship?
That's a good point.
Years and years.
Are we talking about a small disappointment that happened?
Maybe we couldn't get ice cream.
We expected to have ice cream after dinner and we couldn't have it.
We'd like to hope you'd get over that more quickly, right?
How long we dwell on something definitely depends on how serious the offense is or how serious the situation was.
Yeah.
So again, the first phrase we could use is get past it.
To move beyond that problem.
What are some other examples here, Aubrey?
Yeah, dwelling on the argument won't help.
You need to get past it.
I think we've all said this to friends who are still mad about something after a while.
And then the advice might be at some point you got to get past it.
Yeah.
I mean, some people, I think, tend to hold on to things a bit more than others.
Are you someone that holds on to things or are you able to?
Not too bad.
Sometimes I will.
There'll be something that I'm upset about after a while.
But for the most part, I let things go pretty well.
I think I can get past things.
What about you?
Yeah, pretty much.
There's almost not enough time to remember things like that.
You have to move on.
Ain't nobody got time for that.
That's kind of a fun expression in English that we use with poor grammar.
Yeah.
It's like, we don't have time to worry about time.
We don't have time.
Here's another example.
I know the mistake was embarrassing, but you need to get past it and focus on the game.
Yeah.
I mean, if you're an athlete, you have to be present.
Tennis is one of those games that requires total mental presence.
It's very mental.
Yes, a lot of sports are that way.
I'm coaching basketball right now.
And this will happen if a girl misses a shot or trips and falls in front of people and they're embarrassed and they get in their heads and they start playing really terribly.
And a coach might say this, like, you've just got to get past it and focus on the game.
Forget about it.
Yeah, for sure.
Or the coach might say, well, would the coach say you need to get over it?
That one's a little more harsh.
This is a little more harsh, right?
It means to get over, you recover from disappointment or sadness, some kind of obstacle.
But it is a little more harsh.
It's a little less understanding of the emotion, right?
So for example, it took him a while to get over it after losing the game, right?
Or I'm going to have a hard time getting over this breakup.
So those are ways like that to actually to say to someone, get over it.
It's kind of mean.
You're sort of giving no understanding for them going through something that's difficult.
Right.
But these where we're saying it about ourselves, like, oh, it takes a while to get over.
That's different.
Yeah, exactly.
Who's delivering the message and with what tone of voice, what context.
Moving on, right?
Move on, right?
To move on.
Moving on, let's talk about move on.
There you go, right?
So to emotionally or mentally leave a past event behind and focus on the present or future.
So it is interesting how we just talk about this with no emotion involved.
Like, let's move on to the next topic.
But we also talk about it for emotional things.
For example, after the project failed, the team decided to move on and start fresh.
Or she couldn't forgive him at first, but eventually she moved on.
And it's kind of both examples.
The first one is sort of unemotional at work.
We're moving to the next thing.
And the second one to move on is like to let the emotion of it go.
Yeah, I like it when a word has a literal meaning and a figurative meaning in a way.
Yeah, it's kind of fun.
Let go again would be the next one to release negative feelings, resentment or attachment to something that's holding you back.
I mean, I study Buddhism and we talk about letting go a lot.
It's a huge theme within meditation and Buddhist practice.
Absolutely.
We've all had things that we need to let go.
We feel it holding us back if it's resentment or something that we're dwelling on.
For example, he had to let go of his anger toward his former boss.
Like maybe you're still seeing each other at conferences or at events.
And if there's lingering angry feelings that could keep you from networking connections, it could be having dire consequences.
Yeah, for sure.
Or sometimes you need to let go.
You just need to let go in order to move on again.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is kind of a chunk we use to say you just need to let go in order to move on.
Right.
We're sort of saying you need to leave something in the past or you won't be able to move forward.
Or we could put it behind us, right?
Put it behind you.
This is again to stop thinking about, stop dwelling on something, right?
Exactly.
Like it's time to put it behind you and focus on the future.
So this could be maybe you don't get a job you want or you're not accepted to a university you want.
Instead of dwelling on that, put it behind you, move on to the next opportunity.
Yeah.
Aubrey, do you have any strategies to do this, if there's something that you just can't seem to get past?
Like any techniques of how you kind of do that to facilitate the process?
What do you do?
I cannot just like think it through in my own head.
And if it's not something I want to talk out with another person, if I feel that might just make it worse, or if I am not ready to talk to that person, then I think a mental health expert is a great person to talk it out with.
And this might not be a solution for everyone, but I personally often need to talk something out before I can put it behind me.
Yeah, you're a verbal, I mean, you're a podcaster.
It makes sense, right?
I'm a verbal person.
Very true.
Teacher, podcaster, we're verbal people.
I'm similar.
I need to talk through stuff.
And then maybe also for me if it's a breakup.
I remember back in my dating days.
You know there were breakups.
And for me, it was like, recentering on my own life.
So talking through it first, but then recentering on why my life is great and like all the great things going on, maybe starting a new hobby and a bit of a distraction but, like adding, just recentering on what's going on on my side, not so much thinking about the person, right.
That has broken up with me.
Yeah, it's interesting.
It's sort of like a healthy rebound.
Instead of rebounding with a different person, you're creating this rebound of a hobby or activity, something to distract you.
That's a healthy way to cope.
Yeah, for sure.
Thank you so much.
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All right.
We are back from break.
Let's do a role play, Aubrey.
So here we are friends talking after you just had a difficult breakup.
Here we go.
I just went through a breakup.
So there's been at least 20 years.
Oh, geez.
I know.
I know.
Those are tough days, right?
Dating.
Dating days are tough.
We don't envy anyone out there who's still going through it.
I remember how rough that was.
Yeah, for sure.
Hey Aubrey, how have you been feeling since the breakup?
Honestly, I'm still kind of upset.
I'm having a really hard time getting over it.
I get it.
Breakups are tough.
It might take some time, but you'll be able to get past it.
I know.
I really need to move on, but it's tough to let go of the resentment.
Maybe a new hobby to distract yourself would help you put it behind you.
That's not a bad idea.
I've been wanting to learn to play the guitar.
No time like the present.
That's so funny.
I didn't even read our role play, but basically.
I know, but you're right.
I mean, it just makes sense, right?
This is a great way to move past something to have something else, to occupy your time and your thoughts.
Because otherwise, if you're just sitting around, you're going to dwell on it.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So I asked you how you're feeling, how you've been feeling since the breakup.
You said, honestly, I'm still kind of upset.
I'm having a hard time getting over it.
Right.
Getting over it.
Yeah.
And then you said breakups are tough. but you'll be able to get past it.
So this is a great connection skill to use these phrases to encourage.
You're giving someone hope.
I know you're struggling, you're going through it, but you will be able to get past it.
Yeah.
And then you said, I know I really need to move on, but it's tough to let go of the resentment.
Yes.
So we got both of those, right?
Need to move on.
Having a hard time letting go of those angry feelings.
And then you said maybe a new hobby would help you put it behind you.
Yes.
Love it.
So good.
Yeah, I mean, this is very human.
I mean, that's why this is a connection episode, guys.
Everyone is y'all, at some point in life, has to get over something, whether it's a big breakup or whether it's maybe you didn't get the job you wanted, or so many scenarios, Aubrey.
Absolutely.
And it could be a more like a sadness heartache, something tragic happens, the death of a loved one.
There are so many things that you will eventually have to heal from.
However, each person does that very differently in order to get past it, heal from it and move on.
So bringing this up with a friend checking in, like I did at the beginning of the role play, is a really nice connection skill.
And then bringing in this vocabulary.
Aubrey, what's another episode to check out?
Yes.
If you missed it, go check out 2612 right here on the Allers English Podcast.
I'm up for it if you are.
How to recruit your friends to join you at social events.
That's a really fun one.
So don't miss it.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
Aubrey, we'll see you next time.
You have a good rest of your day.
And guys, don't forget to hit follow on the podcast.
Awesome.
See you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
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