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We'll start our story today with a riddle. You can live by me. You can keep me about you. But if
you're not careful, you can also come to my end. What am I? The answer is your wits! When you live
by your wits, you're using your cunning and cleverness. When you keep your wits about you,
you're cautious and alert. But if you come to your wits and you're desperate and don't know what to
do next, today's tale is all about wits, including a battle of wits, where the sharpest wits wins.
I'm Rebecca Sheer and welcome to Circle Around, where story time happens all the time.
Today our story is called the sharpest tack. It's inspired by tales from many cultures,
including the Apache and Lakota of North America and the Weeger people of China. You'll also find
versions from Turkey and across the Middle East. Some really great people came together to bring
you our story, including Nagine, Farstad and Stacey Vanick Smith. Writer, director, comedian and actor
Nagine Farstad hosts the political comedy podcast Fake The Nation. You public radio fans will know
her as a regular panelist. I'm Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. And you'll recognize
longtime public radio reporter and host Stacey Vanick Smith from Marketplace, Planet Money and the
Indicator from Planet Money. So Circle Around, everyone, for the sharpest tack.
Everyone in the country knew that when it came to wits and wisdom, no one held a candle to
Nostradine. After all, Nostradine was sharper than the sharpest tack, brighter than the brightest
button and slier than the slightest fox. No one had ever outwitted her, though they certainly had
tried. One day a newcomer arrived in Nostradine's country. She was a merchant by trade and a
crafty one at that. Rather than play by the rules and conduct honest business, the merchant was
always playing tricks on people to cheat them out of their money. All her life, the merchant
advanced herself to be the cleverest one around. So when she heard about the wonderfully witty
Nostradine, she was most displeased. Ugh, who does this Nostradine character think she is?
I've always been sharper than the sharpest tack, brighter than the brightest button and slier than
the slightest fox. And now I am going to prove it. The merchant put on her finest shirt and pants.
Her fanciest velvet coat, her most expensive fur hat and her shiniest leather boots.
Then, garbed in all this splendid finery, she mounted her strongest, fastest horse and galloped
off toward the city where Nostradine lived. In a wide open field at the city's edge, the merchant
halted her horse and hopped down. As she got to work building a campsite, she asked a farmer
passing by to deliver a message in town. Find Nostradine and tell her that I am a very important
merchant who has very important business to discuss. Tell her she must travel to my campsite right
away. It was nightfall by the time Nostradine received the message. So the next morning,
she made a beeline for the campsite where the merchant was waiting. Nostradine had heard people
grumbling about the wily ways and sneaky scams of a newly arrived merchant. So the moment she
spied the woman's elegant attire and smug smirk. She instantly knew who she was, but she didn't
let on. Greetings, Madame. I am Nostradine. Are you the very important merchant who wishes to see me?
The merchant's smug smirk grew even smugger. Why, yes, Nostradine. I am the very important
merchant who wishes to see you. I am also a very successful merchant, as you can tell,
from my spectacular steed and glorious garb. The woman's utter lack of humility made Nostradine
skin prickle, but she just nodded and grinned. Of course, Madame, your horse is magnificent
as are your clothes. Clearly, you are extraordinarily successful. But why summon me out here?
What can I do for you? Well, Nostradine, I am fairly new to these parts, but ever since I've
arrived, I've been hearing about how quick you are, how clever, how sly, how smart, how slick.
Word has it, there's not a person on this earth whom you couldn't trick with your wit. Nostradine shook
her head. To be clear, Madame, I don't use my way to trick people. I use it to teach them important
lessons, to show them how to be kinder, for instance, or more understanding. Yes, yes, yes, whatever.
The point is I hear you're able to outwit anyone, but I don't believe you can outwit me. In fact,
I challenge you to try. Now remember, Nostradine was sharper than the sharpest tack,
brighter than the brightest button and slire than the sliest fox. So quickly and quietly,
she put her sharp, bright, sly mind to work on a plan. Well, Madame, I am pleased to say that I
accept your challenge, but I must admit, it looks like it's going to be a tough one. So,
may I please go home first and get my box of tricks? The merchant wrinkled her brow.
Your box of tricks? What do you mean? Well, with a woman as cunning and clever as you are,
no simple trick will do. So I'll need my special box of tricks. It's bursting with brilliant ways
to fool people. But here's the thing. My home is very far from here. May I please borrow your horse?
The merchant hesitated. The horse was the fastest, strongest steed in her stable,
and she had paid a pretty penny for it. But she was determined to show Nostradine what's what.
Fine, you may borrow my horse, but go easy on him, won't you? Of course, I'll be as gentle as can be.
As Nostradine began walking toward the horse, she suddenly froze mid-stried.
Oh, dear, your horse looks rather nervous and jumpy. I don't think he likes me.
Perhaps if you lend me your velvet coat and for hat, the horse will believe I'm you.
The merchant thought this an odd request, but she was eager to see that box of tricks.
Fine, here you go. The merchant pulled off her velvet coat and fur hat and Nostradine put them on.
But as she was about to mount the horse, she hesitated again.
Actually, your horse still looks really anxious. I don't think he's falling for my disguise.
Maybe if you gave me your leather boots, too? My leather boots? The merchant sighed.
All right, fine, take them. The increasingly impatient woman kicked off her leather boots and Nostradine pulled them on.
But she still didn't mount the horse. Gosh, your horse still looks kind of jittery.
Perhaps if you gave me your shirt as well and your pants?
The merchant didn't wish to strip down to her skivvy, but she was determined to see this box of tricks.
So she grudgingly agreed. She took off her costly silk shirt and hand-some satin pants and handed them over.
Now that Nostradine was wearing all of the merchant's luxurious, elegant clothing,
she finally climbed into the saddle of the merchant's strongest, fastest horse.
Ah, that's much better. I am now ready to accept your challenge and prove that I can indeed trick you.
And with that, Nostradine gave the reins a tug and a galloped off like the wind.
The merchant sat at her campsite. In her underwear, waiting to see how Nostradine would use that box of tricks to outwit her.
She waited one hour. She waited two hours. She waited many hours.
And then, as the sun went down and the moon came up and the merchant shivered in the darkness,
it finally became clear. She didn't have to wait to see how Nostradine would use her box of tricks to outwit her.
Because the sharp, bright, sly woman already had, oh, how could I have been so foolish?
But not to worry, I will find a way to get back at Nostradine for what she's done. That rap scallion may have won this round.
But next time we meet, I shall even the score.
What do you think the merchant will do next? Will she find a way to get revenge on Nostradine?
We'll find out after a quick break.
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I'm Rebecca Sheerr. Welcome back to Circle Round. Today our story is called the sharpest tack.
Before the break, Nosroudin tricked a cocky conniving merchant into giving up a full suit
of fancy clothing and a strong strapping horse, the merchant vowed to get revenge.
And one day, many, many months later, it appeared she'd get her chance.
She was working a new job by now. Word had spread of her devious ways as a merchant,
so she gave up her business and got hired as a border guard. All day long, she waited in a little
booth on the border, making sure travelers didn't smuggle any goods into her country. If someone
tried sneaking in anything stolen, illegal, or otherwise forbidden, and she caught them,
she reported them to the police and took great pleasure in doing so. Thus, you can imagine the
merchant turned guards delight when she gazed out the window of her booth one day and spotted a
familiar face approaching the border. It's that no good scoundrel, Nosroudin. Surely that
scallywag is trying to smuggle something illegal across the border, and now it's my chance to get revenge.
The guard noticed Nosroudin was traveling by foot, and she was leading a donkey on a rope,
stacked on the donkey's back, where heavy bales of straw. A scornful sneer spread across the
guard's face as she motioned for Nosroudin to stop. Nosroudin, we meet again. I would say I'm glad to see
you, but my days of dishonesty are far behind me, so I dare not lie. Nosroudin returned the guards
sneer with a smile. Well, Madame, I, for one, am glad to see you. After your dishonesty forced
you to give up your merchant business, I was worried you wouldn't land on your feet, but here you are,
gainfully employed in spite of everything, and fully clothed. The guard rolled her eyes.
Listen, Nosroudin, as much as I'd love to continue this chitchat, I have a job to do,
and given everything I know about you and your tricks, I want to make sure you're not attempting
to smuggle any valuable goods across this border. I must search the donkey. Nosroudin shrugged,
you are more than welcome to search this donkey, Madame, but I can assure you all you will find
is straw, and there's nothing illegal about that. The guard rolled her eyes again, and went to work
pulling the straw bales apart. But even though she succeeded in making quite a mess,
she did not succeed in finding anything suspicious. All right, Nosroudin, you appear to be fine
this time. But if I see you again, you can bet I won't go easy on you.
Well, as it happens, the guard did see Nosroudin again one short week later.
Nosroudin was back at the border, once again leading a donkey, laden with straw bales.
The guard's eyes danced with disdain. Your back. Surely you have a trick up your sleeve this time,
Nosroudin, but you can't fool me. I've brought some help. She snapped her fingers and a team of
assistants came bustling over. Together, they got to work tearing the straw bales to shreds.
But once again, they found nothing suspicious. And once again, the annoyed guard had to allow
Nosroudin to pass. You may proceed, but I'll get you next time you'll see. Well, that next time
came yet another week later. Once more Nosroudin appeared, leading a donkey carrying males' straw.
But once more, the frustrated guard had to allow Nosroudin to pass. You may proceed, but I'll
get you next time. The same scene played out the week after that. You may proceed, and the week after
that, you may proceed, and the week after that, you may proceed. The guard was growing more and more
frustrated. Nosroudin, on the other hand, seemed cool as a cucumber. Each time the guard entered
team tore the straw bales apart. Nosroudin just stood off to the side with her arms crossed and
an amused glint in her eyes. Eventually, a year went by. But even though the routine never changed,
Nosroudin showed up with a donkey, the guard conducted another fruitless search. One thing did change.
Nosroudin appeared to grow well-fear. Her clothing got more lavish, and bright sparkling jewels began
to appear around her neck, wrists, and fingers. And yet, every time the guard entered team,
searched Nosroudin's donkey, they found nothing suspicious. You may proceed.
Eventually, the day came when Nosroudin stopped showing up at the border. The guard couldn't get
Nosroudin out of her mind. So one day after work, she traveled to Nosroudin's house. When she knocked
on the door, a butler led her to a spacious courtyard where fountains sprayed, peacocks shredded,
and exotic plants grew from gleaming marble pots. Standing in the midst of all this splendor was
Nosroudin, wearing an embroidered silk gown, glittering diamond earrings, and a broad grin.
Well, hello, my friend! It's been a long time since I saw you last. Please sit down and tell me,
to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?
Nosroudin swept over to a buttery leather sofa and sat down. The guard joined her. Well,
Nosroudin, you're right. It has been a long time. But since I last laid eyes on you, curiosity has
burned a hole in my heart. So I have come to ask you a question. A question? What, like a riddle?
Oh, are you here to test my cleverness again? Nothing of the sort. It's just all those years you
came to the border leading a donkey and it seemed like you weren't smuggling a thing. Yet look at
you. You're living like a queen. I'm certain you must have been sneaking in something. But what was it?
Nosroudin was quiet for a moment. Then she gave the guard a nod. The truth is, you're right. All
those years when you saw me coming to the border leading a donkey and you painstakingly searched
through all those bales of straw, I was smuggling something. I knew it. I knew you were smuggling
something, but I shall never rest in peace until I know what it was. So tell me, I beg you, what were
you smuggling across the border? Nosroudin leaned back on sofa. She folded her arms across her chest.
Then she looked the guard squarely in the face. And with a smile that stretched from ear to
sparkling ear, she answered the desperate woman's question with one simple word.
Donkeys!
Nosroudin's revelation hit the guard like a lightning bolt. It was the donkeys that had been
forbidden. All this time the answer had been right in front of her. Yet she was nowhere near clever
enough to see it. And thus it came to pass that Nosroudin used her wits to teach an important lesson
yet again. Because the merchant turned guard now knew that if you really want to be sharper than
the sharpest tack, brighter than the brightest button and slier than the sliest fox, a little bit of
humility can go a long way. Now it's your turn. Now that you've heard this story, grab a buddy or
a family member and go back and listen to our other Nosroudin episodes, The Fire Within, and the
Unwelcome Guest. You can also read our book The Tale of the Unwelcome Guest. You can find links to
all of them on our website, wbur.org slash circle round. When you're done, ask yourself the following
questions. First, what lessons is Nosroudin trying to teach in each story? And second, if you are
Nosroudin, can you think of another goody way to teach these lessons? Share your answers with your
buddy, then see if they can come up with even more ideas from their own box of tricks.
This week's episode The Sharpest Tack was adapted by me, Rebecca Sheer. It was edited by Sophie
Coddner. Our original music and sound design is by Eriksha Malonis. Our artist is Sabina Han.
Sabina has created a really fun black and white picture for all of our circle round stories and
you can print them out and color them in. Ground ups visit our website, wbur.org slash circle round
and click on coloring pages. Special thanks to this week's actors, Nigeen Farstad and Stacey
Vanick Smith. Writer, director, comedian and actor Nigeen Farstad hosts the political comedy podcast
Fake The Nation. If you're a public radio fan, you'll recognize her as a regular panelist on
Wait-wait-don't-tell me, the NPR News Quiz, and you'll know long time reporter and host Stacey
Vanick Smith from such public radio shows as Marketplace, Planet Money, and the Indicator from Planet
Money. She's also the author of Machiavelli for Women. Defend your worth, grow your ambition,
and win the workplace. Our featured instrument this week was the Oud. You can learn more about this
Middle Eastern loot and see a photo of Eriksha Malonis playing it on our website. Again, that's
wbur.org slash circle round. And while you're at wbur.org slash circle round, you can find all sorts
of other cool stuff like information about our live events, how to get your hands on our circle
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Circle Round is a production of WBUR, Boston's, and PR New Station.
I'm Rebecca Sheer. Thanks for circling round with us.
Now that you've made it to the end of this Circle Round episode, we want to know what's your favorite
Circle Round Story. Thousands of fans just like you have been telling us about the Circle Around
Stories they like best. Take a listen. Maybe one of their favorites is one of yours too.
Hello, my name is Athena, I live in Portland, Oregon. My favorite Circle Round Story is a three-legged
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I love when you make cool stories and cool snuggles my story. Love, give it a go.
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