I've got a show to recommend that I genuinely think you and your kids are going to love.
It's called Lightcatchers, a brand new award-winning cinematic audio adventure from the team behind Batman, High Volume and Story Pirates.
If your house is into pinna favorites like Grim Grimmer, Grimmest or Hero Hotel, this is absolutely your next play.
Stick around for a preview at the end of this episode.
Then search Lightcatchers wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, my name is Adam Gidwitz.
I'm an author.
I'm also a storyteller.
I like telling all kinds of stories, but I especially like telling grim fairy tales.
You may think you know grim fairy tales, and you may think that they are sweet and boring.
But listen, those tales you heard were the cute, happy little kid bedtime versions of the grim tales.
The original grim fairy tales aren't like that at all.
They're weird, and sometimes gross, and often scary.
In other words, they're grim.
And I'm about to walk into a classroom and tell one of the original grim, grim tales to a bunch of kids.
Do you want to join me?
Do you want to hear a grim fairy tale?
Let me help you decide.
On a scale of grim, grimmer, and grimmest, This episode is Grit.
Nothing too scary happens, but there is a very threatening and frightening dude.
If I get to a part of the story and you start to feel scared or uncomfortable, this is what you could do.
You could turn down the volume and count to five.
Then turn the volume back up.
If it still seems like a part you don't want to hear, just turn the volume down and count to five again.
You know how much weird and gross and scary you're ready for.
You know what you need.
Okay, I'm at the classroom door now.
There are kids inside waiting to hear a grim fairy tale.
So, are you coming in?
Grim.
Grimmer.
Grimace.
We're doing something special today.
Just a little bit different.
Not very different.
We'll still be telling a weird, sometimes scary fairy tale.
But today, I have another grown-up here with me.
Her name is Sana Ali Muhammad.
Hi, Sana.
Hi.
Hi.
And she also likes telling stories to kids.
She also likes teaching kids, making audio shows, curricula, other stuff for young people.
What are curricula?
It's like what you teach.
You know when you learn things?
Like curricula.
Exactly, like curriculum.
Curricula is the plural.
And where are the schools where you are doing these curricula?
It's in Kenya.
Which is in?
Where's Kenya?
Yeah.
In East Africa, right?
Okay now, if you listen to the episodes of Grim Grimmer Grimmest closely, if you listen to the credits, you know some of the stories I write with another storyteller.
Her name is Allie, Allie Horn.
So she helped me write The Crabman's Daughter Ten Thumbs and the story you guys heard last week Twelve Tortoises was written by me and Allie Horn.
You wrote that story?
So Franz Xaver von Schönwirth wrote it originally.
Then...
Allie and I talked about how to change it.
Then Allie wrote a draft of it, and then I wrote another draft of it, revising her draft.
So together, we wrote that story, yeah?
So you did add to it?
I definitely added to it and changed things.
So the story we're telling today, Sana and I wrote together.
She found it.
We worked on how to adapt it together.
Then she wrote it, and I revised it.
And while all the other stories I've told on Grim Grimmer, Grimmest have come from the German tradition—.
Brothers Grimm mostly, Franz Xaver von Schönwirt.
This story comes from a different tradition, one that Sana grew up with.
Can you tell us a little bit about where the story comes from?
Sure.
So this story comes from a collection of stories called the 1001 Nights.
And these stories were told orally, which means using your mouth to share the stories in India, the Middle East Iran Turkey Iraq, Egypt.
And the main story is that there's this king who keeps having to have wives.
You know why?
Because he keeps killing them off.
What?
And he finally gets this wife named Scheherazade.
And Scheherazade has an idea.
So every single night she tells a story, but she doesn't finish it.
So the king lets her live so he can find out what happens next.
Oh, that's smart.
That is smart.
So she tells story after story after story, and this is one of those stories.
All right, we're about to start the story, but go ahead.
Do you know something about that?
No, but actually, my mom and dad came from Turkey.
No way.
I wonder if they might have known this story when they were kiddos.
We call this story Red Fish, Blue Fish, One Fish, Three Fish.
You've heard that before, right?
Where have you heard something like that?
Anyone?
Do you remember when you've heard that?
From Dr. Seuss.
Dr. Seuss.
But what does he say?
His story is called One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, right?
You don't want to get sued by Dr. Seuss.
So we've got to call it Three Fish.
If you said that she kept telling the story so she wouldn't die...
Does it have a cliffhanger?
No.
This one we ended.
Great question.
Yeah.
All right, we're ready.
Once upon a time, there was a fisherman.
Like most fishermen in fairy tales, he was poor.
However, unlike most fishermen in fairy tales, he could only cast his fishing net three times a day.
Does anyone have a theory as to why he could only cast his fishing net three times a day?
This three is an easy number to remember.
For very telltale-ing.
Or maybe there's just not too many fish, so he just... Oh, okay.
I guess I don't want you to go extinct.
I live off of you.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe he's trying to conserve the fish.
Maybe they're going... Maybe he's under a curse.
Maybe he's cursed.
Maybe he's just really weak.
So then he, like, tears a muscle.
After he pulls up three fish.
You know, I'm getting a little older and if I threw it more than three times Maybe he like hurts his back.
Totally threw out his back.
That's a good theory.
Maybe, like, someone's only letting him, like, rent the net.
With gold doubloons or something in medieval... I like the idea that it's, like, a rented net.
Three times a day, that's it.
Alright, Sana, what is the actual reason why he can only throw it three times a day?
Are you ready?
We have no idea.
No clue.
That's what it says in the story, so that's what it is.
Like most days, the fisherman cast his net into the lake.
Unlike most days, it got stuck.
So he pulled, and tugged, and strained, and whoosh!
Out came...
Maybe a fish.
Maybe a fish.
Yes?
Maybe three fish.
Maybe three fish.
A red fish.
A red fish.
Maybe it was actually a giant fish that was made from a million common goldfish.
Maybe one giant fish made of a million little fish.
I'm maybe guessing a big fat rock.
A big fat rock.
Actually, you're the closest.
Out came a dead donkey.
What?
Yeah.
Not a fish, the fisherman proclaimed.
And he threw it back in the lake.
A donkey?
Yeah, it was a dead donkey.
You love donkeys.
You're always talking about donkeys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or like when I talked about when that guy was mean and I said he's a big fat donkey.
Remember one of those stories?
Yeah.
And you know what he should have done with that big fat donkey?
Thrown him back in the lake, obviously, right?
Yeah.
The fisherman cast his net into the lake again and again.
It got stuck.
So he pulled and tugged and strained.
And bang!
Out came a toilet.
Not a fish, the fisherman said.
He left the toilet on the bank in case he would need it later.
Maybe it's gonna be a long time until he catches a fish and he'll get so tired he'll need to take a poo-poo.
That's what I was thinking.
Yeah, exactly.
The fisherman looked at the lake.
He had only one toss left.
If it wasn't a fish, his family would go hungry that night.
He said, Oh, come on, lucky number three.
And he threw his net for the third and final time.
And it got stuck.
This time it better be a fish.
He pulled and tugged and strained and bam!
Out came a copper jar.
What is that?
Like a jar made of copper.
What is copper?
Have you ever seen a penny?
Yeah.
It's like that material.
Yeah.
It was long and thin.
And also this jar was kind of shaped like a pickle.
But maybe jars shaped like pickles were all the rage at the market.
He could sell it.
Not to mention, it looked like something was inside.
Maybe a pickle.
So he grabbed the lid and pulled and tugged and strained and pop!
Out came... Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Well, at least I got that toilet, he said.
But suddenly, out from the jar poured a thick, black smoke.
Yes?
You know, it's like, it's that, like, genie type of thing, and he's like, you can have three wishes!
The smoke surrounded him and turned into a huge djinn, which is... A genie.
What, can you explain genie versus djinn, Sanaa?
Yeah.
It's just one of those words that jinn is used often in the Middle East and India, whereas when Disney took it over, they used the word genie.
The jinn's head was as wide as an ox cart and the black hair on top of it touched the clouds while his feet were still on the ground.
The djinn's hands were like pitchforks, his mouth as big as a cave, his teeth were like large stones, his nostrils like water jugs and his eyes like two lamps.
Frankly, he was terrifying.
The fisherman shook, his teeth chattered, his spit dried up.
What?
Sana, his spit?
What do you mean, his spit dried up?
In the original story, it says, his spittle dried up.
That's weird.
The djinn boomed.
Oh, it's so very good to see you.
Thank you, my new friend.
I can imagine I've made you very happy.
Um, how?
The fisherman croaked.
Because for freeing me, my friend, you get the gift of... Deciding how you die.
Oh?
That's exactly what the fisherman said.
The fisherman hadn't ever spoken to a djinn before and wasn't sure if it was possible to say friends, don't ask friends how they want to die without getting skewered by a pitchfork hand.
So he decided for a safer... Um, no thanks.
But it's a gift!
You can't say no!
Can I give it to someone else?
Or...
Do you want it?
No!
You can't re-gift a Jin's gift!
That is super rude!
Okay, in that case, can I get a different gift?
Like a fishy gift?
Like, you know, fish?
No, no, no!
If you'd freed me in the first hundred years I was trapped, I would have given you riches.
Oh yes, I'd like that.
And if you'd freed me in the second hundred years, I would have given you all the treasures in the world.
Is that more or less than the riches?
And then if you'd freed me in the third hundred years, I would have granted you three wishes.
Sounds nice, but you didn't.
It's been nearly 500 years.
Can you imagine someone stacked like me stuck in a teensy tiny jar for nearly 500 years?
After so many years i'm grumpy but i'm trying to be nice.
So tell me how you want to die so i don't accidentally kill you in a way you don't want to die.
The fisherman had no idea how to handle a gargantuan gin tantrum which this clearly was.
But he did know how to handle other fishermen who liked to tell tall tales about catching fish.
Do you know how fishermen talk about catching fish and telling tall tales?
What happens?
I just caught a fish the size of a boat, and everyone who saw it was bursting to applause.
Exactly.
They tell tall tales about fish.
Fish tales, they say.
How you handled a fisherman who told tall tales was you played on their pride.
And what the djinn said gave the fisherman an idea.
The fisherman said, You definitely are big and powerful.
Yes, yes.
Tell me something we don't know.
The djinn flexed his muscles.
The fisherman continued.
So...
I can't imagine.
How could someone as big and powerful and stacked as you fit into such a teeny weeny jar?
What?
You don't believe me?
No, no, no.
It's not that I don't believe you.
I just... I just can't imagine how the laws of nature make it possible for you to fit into this jar.
Oh, you can't?
I'll show you.
Oh, I know what he's doing.
He's trying to trick the gin, even though he knows how he can fit in there.
But he's trying to trick the gin so he can put the lid back on.
And this gin, as tall as the clouds, whooshed himself back into the copper jar.
The fisherman quickly put the lid back on and threw the jar into the toilet.
Get me out of here!
The gin squeaked.
Because apparently when he's inside the jar, his voice totally changes, right?
I was giving you a gift and you do this?
How rude!
The fisherman said, Look, I don't want to die.
I have a family to feed and fish to catch and a net to throw exactly three times.
I have a lot going on.
You don't know how to take a joke, squeaked the djinn.
I was just kidding.
Do you think he was just kidding?
No.
Yeah, were you just kidding?
Well, no, squeaked the djinn.
Then why shouldn't I just throw you back in the lake like the dead donkey?
Because that's littering.
Please get me out of this jar.
I don't like it.
His voice is so funny.
Yay!
The fisherman felt bad for the gin because hundreds of years trapped in not just a jar but a pickle-shaped jar, just had to be the worst.
And the fisherman could imagine that being in there like that would make the gin pretty grumpy.
So what should he do?
Should he let him out?
No.
No.
Yeah.
Just keep him in the toilet?
Yeah.
Until he dies to death.
Until he dies to death.
I think if he, I think he might get grumpy.
And if he gets grumpy in the jar, maybe he might get too strong and he might explode the toilet and the jar.
The fisherman said, Okay, what if we make a deal?
I let you out of this jar, and in exchange, you get me some fish.
You sure you don't want the death thing?
I'm very sure I don't want the death thing.
Okay, fine.
It's a deal.
The fisherman opened the bottle and the ginormous gin burst out, once again towering over the fisherman with his head touching the clouds.
The gin plucked the pickle-shaped jar from the fisherman's hands and threw it into the lake.
The fisherman shouted, Hey!
Littering!
And then...
As he looked up at the stacked gin, who was now totally free of the pickle jar and whose head was again scraping the clouds and whose hands again looked like pitchforks and whose mouth was again as big as a cave, the fisherman thought This ain't good.
And he peed himself.
I knew he would pee himself soon enough!
Sana, did we make up the thing about peeing?
I mean, because, like, it was predicted.
They predicted that he was going to pee himself.
So did I just make that up just now?
Nope.
In the original text it says the fisherman piddled in his clothes and said to himself this promised badly.
So, this promises badly means, this ain't good.
And it says, he piddled in his clothes, which means... Peeing himself!
Exactly right.
The fisherman and the gin watched the pickle jar sink into the lake.
I've been waiting a very long time to do that.
So... He turned to the fisherman.
Who wants some fish?
Poof!
Suddenly, the fisherman and the gin were in front of... a different lake.
Hey, what was wrong with my leg, didn't you say?
You pulled up a dead donkey and a toilet that places a garbage dump.
The fisherman conceded the point.
The jinn said throw your net.
The fisherman cast his net.
Now that's more than three times right.
Maybe, since he's with a genie, it might be okay.
He might just get some fish.
I think you're probably right.
He pulled and he tugged and he strained and splat!
A big red fish hit him in the face.
Oh, finally!
Fish!
The fisherman exclaimed.
He pulled and tugged and strained and a big blue fish hit him in the face.
Yes, more fish.
A third time.
He pulled and tugged and strained and splat.
A big golden fish hit the gin, but not in the face, because that was way up near the clouds.
It hit him Between the legs.
And the fisherman said, That was awesome.
The djinn didn't think so.
Anyway, the fisherman was so happy.
Oh, yeah.
Now this is what a fisherman does.
Thank you, djinn.
I can't wait to eat them.
Eat them?
The djinn bellowed.
No, no, no, no, no, my friend.
You must give them to the Sultan in exchange for riches.
The fisherman thought for a moment.
It had been a long day, and he was hungry.
Okay, dinner or riches?
Dinner or riches?
What are riches?
Riches means lots and lots of money.
What would you choose, dinner or lots and lots of money?
Lots and lots of money because you can technically get dinner.
You can use the lots and lots of money to buy dinner.
That makes perfect sense.
Dinner or riches?
Dinner or riches?
He thought of how poor his family was.
He had three children who could eat either one meal with these fish now or eat a lifetime of meals with the riches.
So he announced, I'll take the riches.
Oh my god, you had to think about it?
Human, seriously.
Anyway, take these to the salt.
Where are you going?
I'm off to a desert.
Or a mountaintop.
Somewhere with no lakes.
Enjoy the riches.
And poof.
He was gone.
Did you know that you can listen to Grim, Grimmer, Grimmest without any ads interrupting the story?
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Not only will you get to hear me tell these fairy tales straight through the way I tell them to kids, you get access to tons of other awesome original shows and audiobooks all ad-free.
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And remember, it's not a Smurf.
Patrick, let's go!
The clue is floating away in a hot air balloon!
Hey, sorry, this is kind of a bad time.
Claire and I just found a major clue and now it's airborne.
Anyway, I wanted to let you know that the parents behind Law & Order have something brand new for families.
Our podcast, Patrick Picklebottom Everyday Mysteries.
Patrick, it's headed towards the water tower.
Gotta go.
Listen on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts.
So the fishermen took the blue fish, the red fish, and the golden fish to the Palace of the Sultan.
What is a sultan?
A sultan is another word for king.
Why do we use that word instead of king?
It's one of those things that different areas use different words.
You know, some people, like in the U.S., we call states states.
In Canada, they call states provinces.
This is real.
So the Sultan is just a king.
At the Sultan's palace.
The fishermen had to wait in a long line of people giving the Sultan all sorts of wonderful gifts.
There were peacocks and zebras and chests of gold.
And the fishermen started to get rather worried. as all he had brought were these three fish.
But when he got to the front of the line and presented his gift, the Sultan was thrilled.
The Sultan said Finally do you know?
I've been sitting here for hours and no one has offered me as much as a snack.
Not a single sweet, not a fig, not a date, nothing.
Let's go to the kitchen and fry those fish up right now.
And if they are as delicious as they look, I'll give you riches to last the rest of your life.
Wow, thought the fisherman.
That was easy.
So they went to the kitchen and told the cook to throw the blue fish into the frying pan.
But as the oil started to sizzle and the blue scales started to brown, they heard another sound the kitchen walls were cracking open.
The walls broke asunder, a giant crack running down their middle, and through the crack stepped a beautiful lady with golden hoop earrings and a pearl necklace and robed entirely in a blue as bright as the fish's scales.
She carried a bejeweled walking stick and she strode up to the frying pan And she said Fish, if I keep my promise to you, will you keep your promise to me?
And the blue fish that was frying in the pan, remember, spoke back.
If I am thrown back in the lake, I will keep my promise to you.
Very good, said the beautiful woman enrobed in blue.
She used her bejeweled walking stick to knock the frying pan off the stove and the fish went spinning across the kitchen floor.
Then she turned and, without another word, the beautiful woman walked back to the wall, stepped through the crack and the wall closed behind her.
And the Sultan said, What the heck was that?
Oh my God!
The fisherman had no idea.
So he said, should we try the red one?
So they threw the red fish into the pan and the oil started to sizzle and the red scales began to brown.
And just then they heard another sound.
Again, the kitchen walls cracked open and another beautiful lady stepped out with golden hoop earrings and a pearl necklace and robed entirely in red as bright as the fish's scales.
She carried a bejeweled walking stick and she strode up to the frying pan and said Fish, if I keep my promise to you, will you keep your promise to me?
And the red fish said, If I am thrown back in the lake, I will keep my promise to you.
Very good, said the beautiful woman enrobed in red.
And she knocked the pan off the stove and the fish went spinning across the kitchen.
And she went back into the wall, which closed behind her.
And the sultan said, What kind of fish did you bring me?
And the fisherman responded to the sultan, I mean honestly, your majesty, I have no idea what kind of fish these are.
Shall we try the last one?
So they did.
They threw the golden fish into the frying pan, and again it sizzled and browned, and again the wall opened with a crack and out came a beautiful lady and robed in Gold.
That's right.
And she said, Fish, if I keep my promise to you, will you keep your promise to me?
And the golden fish said, If I am thrown back in the lake, I will keep my promise to you.
Very good.
So she tossed the pan on the floor and walked back through the crack, and the wall magically closed up behind her.
The sultan turned on the fisherman.
Okay, one question.
Where did you get these fish?
So the fisherman took the sultan back to the lake where he'd caught them, and the sultan brought the fish along in a basket.
The Sultan said, I don't like being on the wrong side of beautiful women who can walk through walls.
So let's help these fish fulfill their promise, shall we?
And he threw the fish into the lake.
Nothing happened.
The fisherman said to the Sultan I don't know how to tell you this, Your Majesty, but as a fisherman,
Can I just say that we don't usually put cooked fish in a lake?
We take uncooked fish out of a lake and then we cook them.
But just then, the lake began to whirl.
It churned and rose in enormous waves.
A thick fog covered the area and the earth shook until out of the water rose a castle.
All around the castle, people enrobed in blues and reds and golds woke up as if from a long sleep.
What is this?
What's happening?
Who has an explanation for what's going on right now?
The fish were actually the key to a kingdom.
Yes.
And these people wearing gold and blue and red.
Who can explain that?
I feel like...
All this time, there were like thousands of people just stuck in the water as fish.
And then, like the moment one of them got rescued or something, the whole kingdom just rose up and then everybody were awakened.
The sultan turned to the fishermen and said, Do you want it?
The fishermen said, What, this castle?
And the sultan said, Yes, I have one already.
I will give it to you.
On one condition.
The fisherman winced.
I have to tell you how I want to die?
What?
No, I'm starving.
Just invite me in for dinner.
So the fisherman and the sultan went in and had dinner.
And then the fisherman went and got his family.
He also went and got the toilet and installed it in the throne room.
Get it?
Throne room?
Because sometimes we call the toilet the throne?
Anyway.
So the fisherman and his family lived there.
And every now and then, the djinn would take a break from his adventures and come and visit.
And the fisherman and the djinn would laugh and laugh about the time they met by that lake.
And the djinn would say...
Hey, you know, you could have chosen how to die.
And the fisherman would respond, Yes, but instead, I chose how to live.
And he and his family did live.
They lived for a good long time, happily ever after.
The end.
This is so funny, I'm farting.
You're so funny, you're farting.
Okay.
I just farted three times.
You just farted three times.
Okay, great.
We have a farting party going on.
It's a farty party.
You said fart!
I sure did.
Far away on the high Caribbean seas roams a swashbuckling pigeon-loving, burrito-gobbling pirate.
Who's well?
A bit different than the other pirates.
Bless my Brussels sprouts.
Introducing the new podcast, Light Catchers.
Season one, Bob the Bad Pirate.
Bob the Bad Pirate wasn't bad because he liked to hurt people or call other pirates names like Petunia Pillow Pants.
Bob the Bad Pirate was bad because he just wasn't very good at being a pirate.
Shiver me tutors.
We are pirates.
Listen now to Lightcatchers, wherever you get your podcasts, and learn more at BeALightcatcher.com.
Light up the lanterns and follow me.
Introducing A is for Alfie, the first picture book from the award-winning Pinna series Quentin and Alfie's ABC Adventures.
Alfie thinks his name is a little weird, but with his babysitter Quentin, he discovers that every letter holds endless possibilities.
From A is for acrobat to E is for electrician.
Written by award-winning author Randy DuBerck and illustrated by Derek Brook, This heartwarming, diverse read aloud is perfect for kids three to six, guiding them through letters while helping them love who they are.
Pick up A is for Alfie wherever books are sold and start your ABC adventure on the page.
Grim Grimmer Grimmest is a Penna Original Production.
Created, written, and narrated by me, Adam Gidwitz, author of A Tale Dark and Grim.
Produced and edited by Kaylin West.
Associate producer, Rebecca Cunningham.
Field recording by Julia Martin.
Casting and voice direction by Rebecca Cunningham.
Sound design and mixing by Kaylin West.
Executive produced by Molly Barton and Carly West.
Special thanks to all the kids who joined us in staten island and brooklyn for our storytelling sessions.
You guys are awesome.
