Okay, I got a surprise for you.
I better not be another baby.
Ta-da!
Is there something fun behind the couch?
So Larry's allowed to sit on the couch and I'm not?
Well, Larry is white.
Hey, you chose me.
Oh, uh, that's not what I meant.
It's a chance for you to show some real compassion.
Do you know where babies come from?
Lily, I'm studying.
Are you a nerd?
No, why would you ask me that?
It's Friday night and you're doing homework.
It's my senior year.
Trust me, Lily, there'll be tons of fun Friday nights in my future.
With artists, dignitaries, other scientists.
I didn't hear boyfriend.
Hey, guys, do you know where babies come from?
Lily, that's not an appropriate question.
Come on, do you know or not?
Yes, the stork brings them.
This stork?
Good stuff.
Hey, Lily, how about something to eat?
You want some chicken nuggets?
OK.
So do you know how babies are made?
Yeah, and I'll tell you.
But first, we're going to need a pen and a bagel.
Why?
Well, you're going to need to take notes, and I'm hungry.
Okay, so a boy and a girl meet at a frat party and they both think each other is totally hot.
So they pound their beers and head upstairs.
Luke, stop!
She's not hearing this from you.
Why not?
You're too immature.
I'm not immature, buttface.
And how would you say it?
Well, I would say they meet through friends.
And after dating for an appropriate amount of time, he takes her to a romantic French bistro.
Then maybe, if the mood is right.
Maybe?
I just bought you a big French dinner.
That was your choice.
I owe you nothing.
Your hand was on my knee the whole time.
What was I supposed to think?
I was expressing affection, not signing a contract.
This date is over.
Come on, sexy.
Don't be like that.
Make a baby with me.
What is going on in here?
Nothing.
What are you guys doing?
Nothing.
Not really anything.
Can we finish our conversation?
No.
Lily, I'm sorry, but if you have questions, you're going to have to ask your dads.
You don't know, do you?
I think so.
I know.
No, we don't.
Right, guys?
No, I guess not.
That's embarrassing.
Want me to tell you?
What?
That's why you asked if we knew where babies came from?
Because you wanted to tell us?
Yeah, you're old.
You should know.
But you might want to sit down for this.
You just put eggs and tadpoles in a glass and the woman has to drink it.
Then the woman and man kiss and jump on their bed.
After a year, she pees and a baby comes out.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Daddy, my doll won't stop crying.
Honey, did you try the off switch?
Of course I tried the off switch.
Really?
Sorry, I snapped.
She's been like this all day.
There you go.
That never worked on you.
Ha-ha.
So, good news, world.
Daddy, she won't stop crying again.
One second, honey.
Look, Cam, I love you very much, but I resent the way you're treating me today, okay?
I am not some 1950s housewife.
I...