Hey friends, it's Dora here.
Let's be real, bedtime can feel like a constant battle.
The tantrums, the stalling, the screen fatigue, it's a lot.
That's why we created Wiggle to Wind Down, a brand new kids sleep podcast from Headspace and Cocomelon.
Each episode helps your little one move, breathe and settle into a soothing bedtime story so they can relax and you can finally exhale.
Search for Wiggle to Wind Down wherever you get your podcasts and make bedtime a little easier for everyone.
Welcome to Radio Headspace.
It's Dora, and I'm glad you're here.
Okay, so picture this.
I'm standing in the grocery store last Tuesday holding a pack of frozen plant-based chicken nuggets, like it's evidence in a crime scene.
My internal dialogue sounded something like this.
I should make a real dinner.
I should a meal prep like that one influencer on Instagram.
Maybe I should buy organic vegetables.
I should care more about nutrition.
I should be a better adult.
And I'm just standing there with chicken nuggets having a full-on existential crisis in aisle seven.
That's when I started laughing to myself.
Well, kind of out loud too.
Because I realized I had just shitted myself into a pretzel of shame over chicken nuggets.
A woman nearby looked at me like I had lost it.
And honestly, maybe I had, but in the best way possible.
Here's what I discovered.
The word should is like a tiny dictator living in our heads, and it's been running the show for way too long.
Think about it.
When was the last time you said, I should, and felt light and free afterward?
Should is heavy.
It's judgy.
It carries the weight of everyone else's expectations and wraps them up in your own voice until we can't tell the difference between what we actually want and what we think we're supposed to want.
But here's the plot twist.
Most of our shoulds aren't even ours.
They're hand-me-downs from parents society, social media, that one friend who seems to have their life together.
And the beautiful thing about recognizing this once you see how ridiculous some of these shoulds really are, you can't help but laugh and gently let them go.
I used to be the queen of should.
My inner monologue was like a very judgmental life coach who never took a day off.
I should wake up at 5am, meditate, journal, and do yoga.
I should have a spotless apartment at all times.
I should respond to every single text message immediately.
I should be further along in my career by now.
I should love networking events.
The turning point came during a conversation with my friend.
I was spiraling about how I should be more social, more outgoing, more like her.
My friend is a natural extrovert who loves parties.
And I was convinced something was wrong with me because I preferred quiet dinner and close friends.
She stopped me mid-spiral and said, Dora, who told you that you should be more like me?
I love that you're the friend who creates these intimate spaces where people can actually connect.
If you were like me, we'd both be the same person and that would be so boring.
It hit me like a light bulb moment.
I had been shitting myself out of my own personality.
So I started what I call a should surveillance.
Every time I caught myself saying, I should, I'd pause and ask, says who?
I should work out every day.
Says who?
I should love cooking elaborate meals.
Well, says who?
I should be more ambitious.
Says who?
Here's what I want you to know.
Your shoulds are not sacred truths.
They're just thoughts.
And thoughts can be examined, questioned, And yes, even laughed at.
So I invite you to try this little experiment this week.
I call it the should audit.
Every time you catch yourself saying, I should, pause and ask, according to whom?
Get curious about where this should came from.
Is it serving you or just taking up mental real estate?
Replace I should with I could.
And notice how differently that feels.
I could work out today versus I should work out today.
One feels like possibility.
The other feels like punishment.
And here's the most radical part.
You get to choose.
You can keep the shoulds that genuinely align with your values and lovingly release the ones that don't.
Maybe you should treat people with kindness.
That one feels true and important.
But maybe you don't need to should yourself about having the perfect morning routine or responding to every single social media notification.
The goal isn't to become a person without any standards or care.
It's to become a person whose standards come from your own heart, not from a collection of inherited expectations that you never consciously chose.
So here's your dental invitation today.
You don't have to shoo yourself into someone else's version of a good life.
You can buy the chicken nuggets.
You can skip the networking event.
You can love your quiet Friday nights and your imperfect morning routine And your very normal, very human way of moving through the world.
The shoulds will probably never go away completely.
They're persistent little things.
But you can learn to smile at them, thank them for their concerns and then do what feels right for you anyway.
After all, the only person you really should be is yourself.
And honestly, you're probably pretty great at that already.
I'll leave it here for today, friends.
Thank you for tuning in.
And I'll see you tomorrow.
