Hi, I'm Alex and welcome to this lesson on asking permission.
When asking permission in the English language with your native speakers, you're going to need to know a couple of very, very simple words that are very, very common.
So we have can, could, may and the phrase do you mind.
Now we're going to leave do you mind for a little later.
It's a special case.
So we have the sentence here, can I borrow your pencil?
Could I borrow your pencil?
May I borrow your pencil?
Now, when you use each of these three words, it's going to depend on a few things.
Number one, how polite do you want to be?
Number two, how formal do you want to be or how formal is the situation?
How well do you know the person that you're asking permission for?
And finally, what is the necessity?
How badly do you need the pencil in this case?
So let's start with can.
We have, can I borrow your pencil?
Now, depending on the tone you use when asking for the pencil, you can come across in many different ways to the person that you're asking this question to.
So if you ask, can I borrow your pencil?
It sounds very urgent.
It's like saying I'm really not asking you if you can give it to me.
I'm asking it more so, as a formality, you're going to give me your pencil.
That's what can does, okay?
Could I borrow your pencil?
Could I borrow your pencil?
Leave some room for possibility.
You can say yes.
You can say no.
Maybe they need their pencil.
Who knows?
Now, may I?
May I borrow your pencil?
This is the most polite way of asking someone for permission.
It is also the most formally recognized way in the English language.
It does come down to tone though.
If you ask, may I borrow your pencil?
A lot different than saying, may I borrow your pencil?
So again, the tone counts.
Okay, finally we have, do you mind?
Do you mind?
It's even more polite than may.
Do you mind is used when you think that you're going to be inconveniencing someone through your actions?
So if we ask, do you mind if I borrow your pencil?
Just give me one moment.
Do you mind if I borrow your pencil? you're not really looking to disturb the person too much.
You feel that your actions, or you asking them for the pencil, might be inconveniencing them in some way.
So again, if you're asking, can I borrow your pencil?
Versus, do you mind if I borrow your pencil?
Can I means I want it.
Okay?
Do you mind if says, I hope I'm not causing you too much trouble.
Now there's a very, very special thing to know about asking do you mind?
And actually answering to do you mind.
So if i ask you, do you mind if i borrow your pencil, and you say no, that is a negative response, right?
No, you can, you would think that means no, i can't give you my pencil.
In fact, what you're saying is giving them permission to use your pencil.
So if you ask Do you mind if I borrow your pencil?
And I say, No, I don't mind.
That means, Here, you can use my pencil.
However, if you ask me, Do you mind if I borrow your pencil?
And I say, Yes.
It means, I have a problem with that.
And I'm not going to give you my pencil.
Okay, so again, it depends on the formality, the necessity and the politeness that you want to use, depending on which word you choose when asking for permission.
So I hope this helps you out a bit, and thank you for listening.
Again, for more videos, please check out engVid.com.
My name is Alex and I'll see you later.
Take care.