This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 55, How to Stop Fearing the Phone in English.
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Yeah, exactly. Dads and grads. This is the time for dads and grads.
So Father's Day is this Sunday, right? And then graduates of high school.
Most colleges have graduated already, but high school graduates, that's happening now.
So very cool. Yeah. And James graduated from kindergarten last week.
Oh, that's right. How was that? It was like the cutest thing I've ever seen.
These little girls... were, like, dressed for prom.
I mean, like, these, like, incredible gowns.
Seriously. Oh, my God. It was, like, sequins and big tulle skirts.
And, like, and the boys had, like, all these little guys had, like, ties and, like, jackets and stuff.
Oh, man. It was so awesome. And they were all so proud of themselves.
And, like, the graduation hats were made of... like black paper, construction paper and like yarn tassels.
Oh my God, it was the best. That sounds like a lot of fun.
That is awesome. Love it. Love it. Graduation season is fun, especially when it's like kindergartners graduating.
I know. They're so cute. I think before I was a parent, I thought it was ridiculous because I'm like, why?
You graduate from high school and college.
You don't need to graduate from kindergarten.
But now that I'm a parent, of course, I'm like 110% behind it because it's adorable.
That's awesome. Okay. So, listeners, we are talking about something that I am certain, I'm so positive that you guys are experiencing this fear.
We got a really good question from a listener about her biggest listening fear.
Lindsay, would you like to introduce that?
Yes. Well, I don't actually have the question in front of me.
Oh, okay. I can take this one. Okay, go ahead and introduce the question.
Okay, cool. So she says, my biggest fear is talking on the phone with natives.
It's really a thing. Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm married to an American guy.
We live in New Jersey, and when it comes to making phone calls to pay bills, talk to health insurance people, etc., I'm blocked.
My husband is getting upset sometimes because I've lived in the U.S. for over three years now, and I should be ready to talk on the phone, right?
Right. Oh, wow. I can imagine how this listener is feeling.
And I'm sure a lot of our listeners are feeling the same thing.
I mean, it's a feeling of being powerless, right?
Yes. Oh, God, that is the worst feeling for me.
I think like the I can sort of trace all of my like fear and like discomfort in different situations just to this feeling of weakness or weakness. loss of power.
It all stems from that terrible feeling.
It hits you at the core. Absolutely. It's a sense of helplessness.
This call is coming and this person is just going to speak and speak and speak and we're not going to get it.
I think we anticipate failure and that's part of the problem, right?
Exactly. Yeah, totally. And then added the pressure on this, she's not just by herself.
She has a partner there who's unhappy with her ability and that Just adds so much extra pressure and stress and anxiety.
So, yeah. So, we've come up with some very real things you guys could do to prepare to calmly understand what's happening on the phone.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So, guys, there is a way around this.
You know, that's why, you know, that's why we're having Jessica on the show once a week to talk about these listening skills and these speaking skills that are going to get you out of these sticky situations.
Right. Yeah. And so this is one of the stickiest.
I mean, what can we do first? What's our first recommendation for this listener to deal with these stressful phone calls?
Well, I mean, the first step is really to practice, right?
But not on the phone. So don't just expect to understand this right away.
We need to sort of tackle this in a step-by-step manner.
So the phases that we're talking about today, guys, these are real things that you can write down and you could prepare, right?
Because how are you going to understand if you don't like work up to it?
You know what I mean? So like the first step would be just to practice with podcasts, right?
Without the visual cues, without the body language.
Podcasts made for native speakers that feature just one person talking.
So not interview shows, you know, because that's not phone practice.
So Lindsay and I have three podcast recommendations for you guys to use online.
One of these you guys will find motivating for sure.
So my favorite with a single speaker is called You Must Remember This.
And it's just one woman talking for the whole time and she's telling stories from like old Hollywood, like 1920s, 1930s, 40s.
Just fascinating stories about – People, maybe you've heard of them, maybe you haven't, but really just diving into these like old Hollywood stories.
So that's my recommendation. I love that show.
That's awesome. Yeah, no, that's good. So one of the shows that I would recommend is called The Unmistakable Creative.
So if you guys are into art, if you're artists at all, or if you're into writing or any kind of way that you're showing your talents to the world and showing up and being vulnerable in the world, The Unmistakable Creative is a good option for you.
You know what? I think this lends itself towards the skills we're developing for telephone practice as well.
Just being confident in your own ability to come up with ideas to, I mean, it really, it almost doesn't matter what kind of field you're working in.
In some respect, you're going to be creative in your life, right?
Whether it's professionally or personally.
So I think like a more like inspirational sort of podcast like this would be really good for this in this respect.
And yeah, I mean, even language, even speaking is creative.
In my mind, it's a creative act because we're not just regurgitating things that we're taught.
We're actually being creative and presenting our words in a way that reflects our personality.
I mean, that's part of why we teach languages, right?
We're interested in that piece of communication.
How can we use our words to connect? Love that.
Exactly. Yeah. I mean, there have been so many times.
So James is six, right? In the past six years where he has said a sentence and I am just floored because I'm like, that is the first time he's ever said that sentence.
You know what I mean? Like just being able to put words together and convey meaning.
Yeah. So there's one more podcast, guys, and then we'll sort of give you like a strategic way you can use these podcasts to practice listening skills.
But the third podcast that Lindsay recommended and now I am super into called Science Versus.
And she has an Australian accent, which I think might, you know, appeal to some of you guys if you're living in Oz.
So, yeah, how would you describe Science Versus?
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Exclusions apply. See details online. Well, the show is each episode, they take one topic that is a little bit debated out in the world, right?
There are very strong opinions on this topic, one way or the other.
And they put it up against science, right?
They take the commonly accepted kind of myths or ideas that we have, and they take the scientific research to see if those myths or ideas hold up.
Yeah. And, you know, the topics are so wide ranging, guys.
Even if you don't listen to all of them, I'm sure you could look at the look at the podcast feed and you can find an episode you're into.
Right. Yeah. No, it's a really cool show.
I just listened to one about meditation.
And that was that one was kind of loaded for me because I want to hear that all the science backs it up.
But of course, it doesn't completely. But there's you know, there's a good start there.
Yeah. Yeah, that's funny. I know. You're kind of starting this like, I'm sure we have opinions on everything you're talking about.
And you're kind of starting this like, please let me be right.
Please let me be right. So guys, once you have one of these episodes, what do you do with it?
Well, a couple things, guys. So the two skills we need to be able to communicate on the phone and understand is being able to listen for gist, right?
Right. Just these overall main idea and listening for detail, for specific information.
So in in our course, we do practice these skills connected to telephone practice.
But you guys can implement this on your own by just listening to the first 10 minutes.
Just close your eyes. Listen to the first 10 minutes. pause the episode and just write down overall, what is this about?
And that's really good to do for the first 10 minutes because that's like when they introduce the topic, right?
So they're giving you the gist and the main idea.
So that's the first step. And then listen to the next 10 minutes or 20 minutes.
And every time you hear a name or a number, which all of these podcasts are perfect for this.
Every time you hear a name or number, like tune in, right?
Specifically tune in, Write down what they say.
What what does this number represent? Who is this person?
So that would. Yeah, that would be an awesome activity.
Oh, yeah, that's so good. I think especially the science versus podcast would be really good for the details piece.
Right. The names and numbers and that kind of thing, because that would be huge.
I mean, there's constant names and new researchers come on the episode and the numbers are thrown out constantly.
So you're really going to build your confidence there.
Oh, that would be perfect. And then you must remember this with all the names and she's like in 1921 in June.
And so there's all like a historical podcast, like any of those would be good.
Okay, so after we have sort of like settled into this practice, we've gained some confidence.
So now what? Is there something we could do actually before we dive into the phone call?
There is something we could do. And I think it's so important.
I mean, so if we know, generally we know when we have a call set up.
I mean, sometimes we get a spontaneous phone call, but usually you guys probably know that you have a phone appointment with someone, let's say Wednesday at one o'clock, right?
Right. What we want to do is just take a few minutes to sit down and prepare for that call.
Maybe think through what you expect to hear from that person, right?
We build the context in our minds. Yeah.
So this idea of warming up our brain, right?
Being an active participant in our English skills, not just sitting back and hoping we understand.
These are the strategies behind our IELTS skills as well on the other show.
And this is true for everything, for all of our English skills, right?
Being active. Yeah. I think I said before on this show, action cures fear.
I just love that saying. But just take a second, take five minutes to brainstorm.
What questions do you need to ask? I mean, like the stuff she's talking about, it has to do with utilities and healthcare.
That's tough stuff. So write down what questions you need to ask first. look up the vocabulary.
Why not? This is a learning opportunity.
And then also predict what answers do you want to hear?
What answers, right? Like what answers might you hear?
And just sort of actively like pick, like imagine this conversation before you take part.
I love this because I think this can make a huge difference.
I see this in my own life when I'm in a situation where I'm going in and I have zero context for what I'm about to hear.
I actually experience the first listening shock, right?
Even if it's, you know, in my native language, but maybe it's about a topic that I know nothing about.
I'll get kind of I get a little annoyed. almost kind of angry and my mind shuts down.
So if I don't have that, but if I took a few minutes just to get a little background on what's going to be said, I could, I probably wouldn't experience that first listening shock that we've talked about on this podcast, right?
That's so true. That's so true. That, That feeling of powerlessness, like we talked about before, that does directly lead to anger, like you said.
It does for me as well. I mean, this is like my biggest fear is being weak or feeling dumb.
That is what gets to me the most, seriously.
Yeah, me too. If I could do anything to prevent that, I will.
So guys, I think this brainstorming activity, before you listen, I think this is huge.
This is a huge strategy, guys, for you to be able to – take take this away don't get angry anymore you can like calmly enter into the conversation right and then you could tell your partner or your friend you could be like so um i just spoke to the insurance agent and got a lower rate today and like right right right I love it.
Yeah, I really think that just that brainstorm activity at the beginning could get you 50% stronger when you're going into that conversation.
It could make a humongous difference. So we want you guys to, you know, write these steps down and actually do them.
Take the extra minutes to do these steps, follow these steps.
Yeah, totally. I love this. I love this idea so much.
Guys, what would be so cool because I really want to see how this turns out for you guys.
I want to feel the confidence you gained through this, the excitement, the satisfaction of conquering this task in English.
If you could go to the iTunes store, you could leave a review and like talk about how this helped you.
That would be amazing. That would be so cool.
And we'll be reading the reviews on the show, guys, as we usually do.
So we're going to be looking for those reviews to see how this worked for you.
Love it. Very cool. So good. I want to say thank you to the listener who wrote in that question.
Such an important question. And again, guys, we love your detailed questions.
So send them in to Lindsay at allearsenglish.com.
Very cool. Yes. Awesome. Yeah. Thank you, listener, for sharing that with us.
And I am certain we are going to help you today.
And if you, listener, send us another email, send us a follow-up email.
You know who you are. Exactly. And if you guys want to really, really build these skills in a step-by-step fashion, that is what our course is for.
We're going to take you across the United States on a 12,000-mile journey with us to meet all kinds of different Americans and have these real conversations by video lesson, guys.
So go over to allearsenglish.com forward slash connection to get in today.
Perfect. Awesome. Oh, it's such an amazing course, you guys.
Okay. That's all I'm going to say. It's just incredible.
All right. Very cool. Jessica, thanks for hanging out today.
It's been fun as always. Thank you for having me, Lindsay.
Enjoy the rest of your week. All right. Take care.
Bye. Bye. Thank you for listening to Business English, a podcast just for you, the high achieving global professional.
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