from your friends at PBS Kids.
This is the Arthur Podcast.
It's me, Arthur, and we're in the middle of an important mission.
Right now, Buster, Francine, and I are in my family's car on our way to a wedding.
Not just any wedding.
A wedding that we have to stop.
Let us tell you how we got here.
It all started on a totally normal day in school.
Good morning, class.
Did everyone enjoy the reading on lichens and liverworts?
Oh, yeah.
We should make it a movie.
Excellent.
Then this pop quiz should be a breeze.
Aww.
Oh, my.
Class, I do apologize, but I have to take this.
Hello, Patty.
I'm afraid I can't talk right now.
Oh, flower arrangements?
I was thinking of sunflowers.
Yes, sunflowers do look a little silly, but...
Yes, peonies are lovely.
Perhaps pink?
Yes, white is more elegant.
Okay, thank you, Patty.
Bye.
Sorry, class.
It was very rude of me to take that call, but it was important.
Are the flowers on the quiz, too?
No, they're for a wedding.
A wedding?
Who's getting married?
Well, Francine, I am.
Incredible!
Right, podcast people?
Yeah.
Teachers don't get married.
It's just... wrong.
I'd never thought about what teachers did outside the classroom.
I assume they went home to sharpen pencils, eat kale, and dream up homework assignments.
But the thing we're most worried about is who Mr. Appern is marrying.
Patty.
She was trouble from the beginning.
We were at the sugar bowl, eating guacamole and chips.
Then, Mr. Ratburn walked in with someone.
And that someone was Patty.
Mmm.
Guacamole looks like alien brains, but it tastes delicious.
How about this table, Patty?
It's Mr. Ratburn.
He'll ask why we aren't doing homework.
Arthur, Buster, get under the table so he doesn't see us.
Okay.
That one has better light, Naji.
Let's sit there.
She called him Naji.
That must be the person he's marrying.
Buster!
Shh!
I'll hide, Francine, but I will not let good chips go to waste.
Ah, the waiter is here.
What can I get you?
This is what I'd like.
Green tea, steeped for precisely three and a half minutes.
An order of dry white toast and some clean silverware.
The spoon has spots.
Coffee for me, please.
Coming right up.
So, Nigey, what did you think of the caterer we met?
That salmon mousse he gave us was delicious.
I wouldn't feed it to a stray cat.
And I don't even like cats.
We'll keep looking.
Patty, not everything about the event has to be, well, perfect.
Oh, Nigel, do you really want an A-minus wedding?
I must confess, I expected more of you.
You're too soft, Naiji.
Too easygoing.
We need to toughen you up.
Are you kidding me?
Mr. Ratburn is too easygoing?
Tell that to my science test.
Naiji, you just leave everything to Paddy.
Here you go.
Tea and coffee.
I said, steep it three and a half minutes.
This is two and three quarters.
This is bad.
We need to do something about it.
It was clear if Mr. Radburn married Patty, our lives would be toast.
Unbuttered toast.
Like she ordered.
And sent back.
Twice.
She said she was going to toughen Mr. Ratburn up.
And we knew what that meant for us.
More homework.
More red pen.
More tests and quizzes.
And less of the good stuff, like class parties and field trips.
We were united.
Like superheroes against the forces of evil, we had one thing to do.
Stop that wedding.
I put our first big plan into action the next day.
Okay, Buster, we're downtown.
What's your big plan?
Candy.
Buster, how is buying you candy gonna help us split up Mr. Rappin' and Patty?
Because we aren't buying candy for me.
We're buying fancy chocolates for Mr. Rappern.
We are?
Yeah!
The chocolates won't be from us.
We'll say they're from a secret admirer.
Oh!
If we give Mr Rappern chocolates from a secret admirer, he'll realize there's someone besides Patty that likes him.
Exactly, and he'll want to figure out who that person is, just like I did when I had my secret admirer.
Maybe Mr. Rappern will even want to marry his secret admirer instead.
Buster, you're a genius!
Well, we're on our way to a chocolate-making genius.
At least that's what my mom says.
She says he's the best chocolatier in town, smart and creative.
Oh, here we are, Patrick's Chocolate.
Welcome.
Come on in.
Are you Patrick?
Yep.
My name, my store.
I've got chocolates for any occasion.
And I've also got chocolates just for people who love chocolate.
Free sample?
Always.
Sure.
What was that, Patrick?
And why was it so good?
Semi-dark organic Mexican chocolate, hazelnut-flavored caramel, and a hint of orange zest.
I call it the Frida Kahlo.
We'll take it.
I'm so glad you liked it.
Shall I gift wrap it?
Or if it's just for you, I'll give you some napkins and a glass of milk.
No, it's for our teacher.
Teachers are some of my favorite people.
I'll put a bow on it.
May I ask what the occasion is?
We're trying to get him to fall in love with someone.
I'm a big believer in the power of chocolate, but even I'm not sure it can make people fall in love.
We're desperate.
Gotcha.
Well, then I hope love wins.
Here you go.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Nice guy.
Yeah.
And a chocolate-making genius.
Let's give these chocolates to Mr. Rappern tomorrow after school.
And that is how the water cycle works.
Evaporation, condensation, precipitation.
Okay, that's it for today, everyone.
Book reports due tomorrow.
Francine, Buster, you ready?
Let's do it.
Mr. Ratburn, we found these chocolates for you in the coat room.
Really?
Oh, Patrick's chocolates.
How sweet.
They must be from a secret admirer who really likes you.
Quite so, Buster.
Let's have one, shall we?
Mmm, delicious.
Here, you take the rest.
I'm happy to share the sweetness.
But wait!
Don't you want to know who your secret admirer is?
Some mysteries are meant to be enjoyed.
Good luck with your book reports.
I'm off to a wedding dance lesson.
So our first plan was a bust.
But we didn't give up.
We had one more idea. find Mr. Ratburn his perfect love match.
And we did.
Miss Turner, the librarian.
They both love books and libraries and homework and books.
We just needed to get them together.
Hey, Mr. Ratburn.
There's a special exhibit at the library about liverwurst.
He means liverwurts.
The plant?
Not the sandwich meat.
Anyway, want to go?
That Miss Turner.
She makes the best exhibits.
I'd love to, but what with the wedding preparations, I'm too busy.
Oh, but would you mind returning this library book for me?
Uh, sure.
Thanks.
Bye, Mr. Ratburn.
Well, that didn't work.
Maybe it still can.
Look at the book he gave us.
Love Poems by Pablo Neruda?
Love Poems.
And he wants us to give it to Miss Turner, right?
Oh!
You think it'll work?
Only one way to find out.
Hi, Ms.
Turner.
Well, hello, Francine.
Can I help you?
I think maybe I can help you.
Mr. Ratburn wanted me to return this book to you.
There's a note in it, too.
Oh.
Let me see.
My dear Ms.
Turner, you are a book to me.
A book I can't put down.
You won my heart.
Uh, no.
That's supposed to be heart.
Ah.
Will you forever change my winkly frown?
Winkly?
Oh, you need the R there.
Wrinkly.
There's more.
Shine on me like the glowing moon above.
And together, we will build a library of love.
From Nigel Ratburn.
My goodness.
I think Mr. Ratburn knows how to spell library, not library.
So I don't think this note really came from Nigel.
But I applaud your efforts to spread love, Francine.
Here, try this book.
A beginner's guide to writing poetry?
Um, thanks.
Anytime, Francine.
Enjoy.
So that plan didn't work either.
And then we all got our invitations to the wedding.
So fancy.
So now we're on our way.
This is the first wedding I've gone to.
Podcast people, some of you have been to weddings.
What should we expect?
Here, I'm checking my inbox to see what you have to say.
A wedding I went to was really fun.
I got to watch my auntie be a bride and I was the flower girl.
My dad's cousin was getting married and a lot of my cousins were there and we were dancing.
First we were just jumping, but then we were actually dancing.
I once went to a wedding and it was so fun and there was a big white cake and it was really special because my whole family was there.
Sounds fun, but I don't think we're going to have fun at this wedding.
No dancing or cake eating for us.
We got to stop this wedding.
Yeah.
Our plan to object.
We stand up during the ceremony and say, we object to this wedding.
I've seen it on TV.
I'm kind of nervous about doing it, but we planned out what we'll say.
Right.
We care about our teacher, and he deserves to be happy.
To be with someone who is nice, kind, and fun to be with.
Someone who likes him just the way he is.
For all these reasons, we object to this wedding.
And then Patty will jump away on a giant cricket.
What?
Well, that's what happened on the Bionic Bunny episode when Bugman was marrying Slime Villa.
Yeah, that's not going to happen.
The best we can hope for is that Mr. Ratburn will listen to us.
We're here.
And there's Patty.
Oh, Arthur, Buster, and Francine.
We're so glad you're here.
Nigel considers his students to be part of his family.
I guess that makes us family, too.
Go on in.
Take your seat.
Well, podcast people, we're sitting and waiting for the wedding to begin.
I'm feeling pretty nervous.
I mean, this objections thing is a big deal.
Hey, I thought the bride usually hid until the big moment when she walked down the aisle.
How come Patty greeted us?
She probably doesn't trust anyone to do a good enough job.
Look, now she's walking up to the front.
Welcome, friends.
I'm so happy to be sharing this day with all of you, especially Nigel's third grade class.
Hello.
This is it.
We should object.
I'm raising my hand.
Oh, goodness.
A hand, just like at school.
Yes, Francine.
Yeah, we want to, um... Go on.
You can say anything you like.
Um, we... We, uh... We, um... We...
I think this tent looks beautiful.
Thanks for having us.
Oh, thank you.
It's not easy to find this shade of eggshell, but nothing is too good for my baby brother, Nigel.
Baby brother?
But if Patty's his sister, then... Who is Mr. Ratburn marrying?
I can't see.
Who's walking down the aisle?
Um, Mr. Ratburn is walking down with someone.
It's... Patrick!
From the chocolate shop!
We love that guy!
Yes!
Well, podcast people, Mr. Ratburn is married.
And to such a nice guy.
Yeah, he married a chocolate-making genius.
If Patrick can make a chocolate wedding cake this delicious, he can surely sweeten Mr. Ratburn up.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
Well, I'm hitting the dance floor before Mr. Ratburn gives us a pop quiz on weddings.
Come on.
Gotta go, podcast people.
There's a wedding to celebrate.
Woo-hoo!
You've been listening to the Arthur Podcast.
Hey, parents.
Do you want your kids to answer my next inbox question?
First, go to the Arthur website at pbskids.org to find out what I'll be asking.
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Arthur at WGBH.org.
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That's the show, Podcast Nation.
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The Arthur Podcast is produced for PBS Kids by GBH Kids in partnership with Gen Z Media and distributed by PRX.
Thanks for listening, and have a wonderful kind of day.
From PRX.
