Chapter 14 A Butt Instead of Boy All seemed to be settled.
Pinocchio had finally proven himself and was now ready to become a boy.
However, in a certain puppet's life, there was always a butt, bound to spoil everything.
"'Can I go hand out invitations?'
Pinocchio asked Fairy.
"'Of course,' Fairy replied.
"'But be sure to be home before dark.'
I promise, Pinocchio said.
It is easy to give a promise, Fairy warned, but not always so easy to keep it.
It's a cinch, Pinocchio declared confidently.
We'll see, Fairy said.
Pinocchio ran around town and within an hour handed out all of his invitations but one, Lampwick's.
Lampwick was Pinocchio's best friend.
His real name was Romeo, but everyone called him Lampwick because of his long thin, string-like face.
He was the laziest boy in school, but Pinocchio still loved him.
It took a very long time, but Pinocchio found Lampwick hiding in an alley.
Lampwick explained that he was waiting until sunset, at which point he planned to run far, far away.
How?
Pinocchio asked.
A wagon is gonna come by and I'm gonna hop on, Lampwick explained.
But haven't you heard?
Pinocchio asked.
Tomorrow I'm going to become a real boy.
I'm having a party and you have to come.
Terribly sorry, Lampwick said, but I told you I leave tonight for Funland.
It's a magical land with no schools, teachers, or books.
Every day is Saturday except Sunday.
All you do is play.
You should come too.
Pinocchio had to admit, this magical place called Funland sounded wonderful, but he had made Fairy a promise and he was about to become a boy.
Just then he also recalled his additional promise to Fairy that he would return home before dark and the sun was starting to set.
"'I've got to go,' he cried.
"'Fairy will scold me.'
"'Let her scold,' scoffed Lampwick.
"'After a few minutes she will get tired and stop.'
Pinocchio considered that.
Then he asked, "'Are there really no schools in this Funland place?
"'Not even the shadow of a school?'
Not one.
Both boys watched as the sun dipped below the horizon.
It's dark already, Lampwick pointed out.
You're already in trouble.
The boys could hear the wheels of an approaching wagon in the distance.
Well, that rascal Pinocchio said.
When the wagon arrived, twelve pairs of donkeys were pulling it.
Each one was a different color and they were all wearing sneakers.
The driver was a round, shiny little man with a big, friendly smile.
Climb aboard, boys, he cried.
But the wagon was so packed with other boys that it looked like a can of sardines.
There was simply no room.
I'll sit up front with you, Lampwick said to the driver.
What about you, the driver asked Pinocchio.
I'll just stay behind.
Pinocchio said.
It's for the best.
I'll just go home and study.
No, cried Lampwick and all of the other bad boys.
Come with us and we'll always be happy.
We can play toys and make lots of noise from morning till night.
Well, Pinocchio said, wavering.
Okay, but there's no room for me.
You can ride one of the donkeys, the driver said.
And climbing aboard, Pinocchio did just that.
But as the donkeys galloped along the bumpy road, Pinocchio imagined he heard a very quiet voice whispering to him.
You are making a mistake.
After about a mile or so, Pinocchio heard the whispering again.
Oh, silly simpleton, it said.
Boys who run away from home and school can only come to no good.
Someday you will realize that, but it will be too late.
Spooked Pinocchio jumped off the donkey he had been riding and ran around to look at him in the face.
Did you just say something? he asked.
The donkey just stared at him blankly, but did Pinocchio imagine it?
Or was the donkey crying?
Don't you worry about that dumb animal, the driver snapped.
Climb back on and let's get on our way.
Pinocchio obeyed and the wagon resumed its journey.
The next morning, they finally reached the magical land of fun and what a place it was.
It was entirely composed of boys and toys.
Everywhere you looked, boys were playing.
Some played marbles, others hopped scotch or basketball, some played tag, and others did handstands.
The boys couldn't be happier.
The weeks passed by like lightning.
"'Can't think,' Lampwick said to Pinocchio.
"'You were gonna stay home and miss all this.'
And to think, teacher told me you were a bad influence, Pinocchio added.
The fun times continued and the months passed.
One morning, however, Pinocchio woke up to a surprise.
His ears had turned into donkey ears.
They were at least ten inches long and as hairy and gray as shoe brushes.
He started to cry bitterly.
Upon hearing the sobs, a fat little squirrel came into the room.
"'Oh,' she said, nodding.
"'I see you have the fever.'
"'What fever?'
The squirrel shook her head sadly.
"'The donkey fever.'
"'I've never heard of it.
Is it serious?'
The squirrel told Pinocchio that in three hours he would no longer be a puppet or a boy, but would turn completely into a donkey.
"'How did this happen?'
Pinocchio asked.
It's what happens to all boys who hate books and schools and teachers and who spend their days concerned only with fun.
The squirrel explained.
But it's not my fault, Pinocchio cried.
Lampwick is the one who suggested I come here.
He has a horrible influence.
Pinocchio was determined to go find Lampwick and give him a piece of his mind.
Putting a large cotton bag with eye holes over his head to hide those horrible donkey ears.
Pinocchio got ready to go.
When he reached the door and opened it, however, his friend was standing right there.
Lampwick had come to him, and he too was wearing a cotton bag over his head.
Could it be?
Why are you wearing that bag?
Pinocchio demanded.
You answer first, Lampwick said.
I, um, bruised my knee, Pinocchio said.
I stubbed my toe, Lampwick replied.
After a few minutes of not meeting each other's eyes, Pinocchio finally spoke up.
Tell me, Lampwick, he said.
Might you be suffering from some sort of, uh, earache?
I might be, Lampwick replied.
You too.
The boys agreed that on the count of three, they would pull off their cotton bags and reveal themselves.
On three, the bags came off and, wouldn't you know it, both boys stood there with identical donkey ears.
It was so ridiculous that they had to laugh.
The laughter soon stopped, however, when other parts of their bodies began to change.
As they watched in horror, their arms turned into long, hairy legs and their faces lengthened into snouts.
Their backs became broader and grew long bristles.
Then, worst of all, both of them grew long donkey tails.
Pinocchio opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a donkey bray.
Oh, Lampwick replied.
At that moment, there was a loud knock at the door.
Who could it be?
