Because on one hand, I think it's kind of relaxing and fun.
I enjoy trying different products, getting ready, seeing the transformation.
On the other hand, I feel like there is so much pressure on looking pretty and put together all the time.
One thing that horrifies me is whenever there is a photo or a video of a public figure or a celebrity online somewhere, the comments are always always, always focused on the looks.
This person's skin looks this way they aged poorly.
I feel like as a society, we're just so focused on looks all the time, and it's honestly terrifying.
Sometimes I just wish looks were not even a thing.
Can you imagine if we lived in a world where we didn't even know what pretty or ugly was?
If it wasn't even a thing.
People just existed without ever thinking about or understanding the concept of looks.
Is there a book on that or something?
I would love to read it.
Yeah, what if you could flip a switch in your brain and never see beauty again?
In Ted Chiang's Liking What You See documentary, which is part of his book Stories of Your Life and Others, that is exactly what happens.
There is a brain procedure called calignosia which stops you from perceiving physical beauty by basically blocking your emotional and aesthetic response to it in human faces.
And in one college, there is a serious debate.
Should they make it mandatory for all students?
Those in favor of Calignosia argued it was a way to eliminate superficial bias and promote social equality by making beauty irrelevant.
Those against it believed it suppressed a fundamental human experience, arguing that removing our ability to perceive beauty also meant losing something deeply emotional and meaningful.
What do you think?
Personally, i don't think i would want to remove it completely, but maybe if we could instead have a world where we put less emphasis on it, like physical beauty would still matter, just not as much, because i don't know what to wear.
I wish i had something pale yellow.
I don't.
Let's try this.
No, I don't feel like I'm loving this.
Okay, I feel so much better wearing something navy than white.
I think I'm just gonna wear this one.
I also just got these super cute sandals from Maison Margiela.
They're slightly too small, but I love them.
And they're leather, so they're gonna stretch.
I'm just trying to convince myself to keep them, because they're also really comfortable.
Look at how cute they are.
If you hate feet, don't look.
So is this too small?
It is my normal size, but is that too small looking to you?
I did something so out of character yesterday.
So I was looking at some photos of my toes.
That sounds weird.
But photos from my recent trip to Spain, where I was wearing a lot of open-toed sandals.
And I felt like my toenails looked so boring.
And the thought hit me of, why don't I try some nail polish on my toes?
I haven't done that in 10 plus years.
And then I was like, no, I don't know.
That's not for me.
I'm never wearing nail polish.
Not on my toes, not on my hands.
But also I don't like being locked in on an opinion or a thought.
I love to challenge that and just do something different once in a while.
And so yesterday i went to the store and i went to the nail polish aisle, grabbed the red color and i was feeling all jittery.
I went back home, i sat on my couch and i started painting my toenails and i felt a rush like an adrenaline, just felt so different.
I felt like i was doing something almost forbidden, like something i was not supposed to do.
I actually felt like it was bringing my toes to life.
And so since yesterday i've just been so excited.
I've been looking at my toes, i've been sending toe photos to my sister being like So yeah, all that to say that I officially had red toenails.
I'm loving it.
Another thing I discovered recently that I've been so against is having a dark paint in your bedroom on the walls.
I've always, in every apartment I lived in, had white walls because it's felt timeless.
I felt like I'm not going to get tired of it.
It's like a safe bet.
However, in this apartment now I have dark paint on my walls and I'm actually loving it, and now i'm thinking about all those years that i was missing out on having dark paint on my walls because i was so scared to try something.
I guess the lesson here, if there has to be a lesson, is to not be so sure about what you think you're sure of.
So good, How harsh would it be?
I usually don't wrap gifts.
I'm just not very patient.
Okay, now I'm wondering why this is not coming off.
What?
Why is this so hard?
Or am I doing it wrong?
I don't know.
Testing my patience.
Okay, what if we just cut it?
Okay, I feel like there's no way this is supposed to be designed like this.
I'm clearly doing something wrong.
Clearly.
There's just no way.
Carefully pull the stripe right down.
Oh.
Now this side.
Okay.
And because I'm just not very skilled at gift wrapping, I thought why don't I just buy a gift bag instead of wrapping it?
But then I thought, this is for the kids.
And I know that kids love opening gifts that aren't wrapped.
Oh, here it is.
Why is it so ugly?
This reminds me of the cake that Hagrid got Harry on his 11th birthday.
Nice.
He's actually changed my outfit.
I don't know.
I wasn't feeling very comfortable for some reason, and i always change my outfits like at least two or three times before i actually leave the house, like i'll think i'm sure of my outfit and i'll wear it and i'll get ready and then, right before i'm about to walk out, i'm like no, so i'm wearing this instead.
Did i make the right choice?
I mean, i'm going to a kid's birthday party, so I will live for a hundred years.
I will live.
I will live.
I will live for a hundred years.
I have a wedding that i'm going to be attending a friend's wedding and i'm so excited for her and her husband to be.
But i'm also feeling anxious because ever since i got the hearing problems in october, i've just been avoiding loud environments a lot and i go out, i go to restaurants and whatnot, but not nearly as much as I used to before my hearing problems.
I've tried to prepare myself as best as I can.
I bought a few different hearing aids.
I just feel anxious.
I'm just worried always nowadays in louder environments that my hearing is going to get worse.
I'm really happy with the gifts that I got them.
I got them gift cards at Grand Hotel.
So I think they're gonna really like that, and i'm just a sucker for cute, elegant packaging like this.
I want to try this powder that I just got.
I never wear powders.
I don't have a brush.
I don't think I can use my hands.
Or can I?
What's going to happen?
It looks like I just put a filter on.
I don't like the harsh lines around the lips.
I love looking like I've just... made out with a prince for 35 minutes.
Okay, here she is, the finished look.
I need to just remove the tag.
It's definitely very summery, but there is no dress code.
So I think it's okay.
I'm loving these shoes.
They're also new, so I need to remove the tag.
Getting ready like this is a lot of fun, but also very exhausting.
So now I'm gonna get picked up and then it's wedding time that that you know you're going to need and eat because of your standard recipes and meals.
Category number two is things that you just crave.
It's something new.
It's something that you like.
You don't really know what you're going to do with it, but you just want to try it.
Category number three is you have seen a recipe and you need to buy the ingredients.
It's a mix of things you usually use and things you don't normally use.
Let's categorize my groceries.
Yes, luck falls into the category of things that i like.
I don't really know what i'm gonna do with it, but i just like it, so i got it.
Tomatoes fall into the category of things that i always buy because i always want to have it at home.
I just know i'm going to use it.
Avocado same thing there.
Parmesan cheese in there.
Cucumber, also always use.
Sambaluelik, it's something that I like.
I don't really use it that much, but I was like I kind of want to have it at home in case I want to use it.
Pavroni, love.
Jalapenos, always also want to have this at home.
I don't always have it at home, but it's one of the things that I enjoy having in the fridge.
I just love throwing it into almost every meal.
I just like a little spice.
Lemons, use it for everything.
Pumpkin seeds, use it a lot in salads, stews.
Filadelfia is something that I think it's good to have at home.
I don't eat it that much, but I often have a craving for something between meals.
And then you have a piece of bread nothing to put on the bread.
Then you look at it and think I have four cups of milk.
We always have milk at home.
Mozzarella.
Green lentils.
This is in the list of recipes I've looked up.
It was a recipe that came up a long time ago.
I don't even remember, but I've saved it somewhere and thought that it could be good to add to the recipe.
I remember the ingredients that were in the recipe.
One of the things was green lentils.
I don't have that at home, so I found it here.
Dishwasher is also something that you always want to have at home.
Kingy bönor.
Som någon som inte äter jättemycket kött, så köper jag alltid en massa olika bönor som jag slänger in i grytor pastor, sallader och allt möjligt.
Sweet potatoes is something that I buy on occasion.
I don't always have it at home, but I know that if I'm just out of ideas, not knowing what to eat, I can always turn to sweet potatoes, so it goes in the meal category.
Bönor.
So the recipe that i'm going to be attempting it does have coconut milk and coconut cream.
I used to always cook with coconut milk and coconut cream when i was vegan for a while, and then i also bought some of the paper, but i cannot show you that.
That's too embarrassing.
