Hey weirdos, it's Ash here, ready to share a little secret.
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I have been listening to the Martha's Vineyard Beach and Book Club, which actually Elena recommended to me.
She did not listen to it, but she said, girl, this title sounds so you.
And let me tell you, it did. I've been listening to it while I walk, and I am absolutely loving it.
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Hey weirdos, I'm Elena. I'm Ash. And this is Morbid.
🎵 🎵 and this morbid is for you by you oh brought to you by you for you from you about you and you It's all about you.
Yay. We're back. And let me first say that.
Ariel Castro part two is coming within the next day or two.
We're doing it like very quick. So you will have it very soon.
Because it is by Popular Japan. It's just so no one thinks that we're just like, here's a listener tale.
You're not getting the other one for a long time.
It's just because of the live show. Which was fucking awesome, guys.
Thank you so much to everybody that was there.
It was the wildest thing of my whole entire life.
Yeah, my brain is still really not like comprehending that it was real.
It didn't even comprehend it while it was happening.
It still hasn't hit me. So I got to yell, thank you, New York.
You sure did. Into a microphone. And I plan on doing that everywhere we go.
And I got to do David Berkowitz's voice and say semen a lot.
She said semen a solid 55 times. And I was like, yo, our grandma.
My grandpa, your dad is here. I know. It was a moment.
It was wild. I felt it. I just had to go with it.
Yeah. But we just wanted to thank you. The Gramercy Theater was awesome.
And we can't wait to see everybody in April at Philly and D.C.
With my new pants. With Ash's new pants, which she already has.
Well, I don't have them yet. I just ordered them.
Well, she already ordered them. But I can't wait to have them.
But yeah, so tonight we're going to be doing listener tales.
Like I said, Ariel Castro part two is coming very shortly.
So I promise you it's coming. you know so hang tight hang tight don't yell at me all that good stuff um Should we just start?
Yeah, let's just dive into this because this is a Listener Tales episode.
We get down to business. Nah, sorry if my voice sucks.
On the way here I was jamming to Taylor Swift and I sang every song so hard that I fucked my voice up.
Which is hilarious because I would think that it would be like, oh, I'm still recovering from my New York trip.
And you're like, no, it's just because I was singing Taylor Swift.
No, I watched part of the Taylor Swift documentary on Netflix and then I was like, let's bolt out every song she ever wrote. yeah my car pretty much oh and that reminds me um that new ted bundy like docu-series i want to see that I think we should watch it and do another.
Together? Yeah. Okay. Because remember, I think a lot of people liked when we covered that Ted Bundy movie with Zac Efron.
Oh, that one that sucked. that I can't even go back to because it was so bad but people have been telling us to watch it and if you guys are down for us to watch it and like do an episode about it we would absolutely do that Because it was a lot of fun.
I also want to do one about the Lee Harvey Oswald.
Nope. Henry Lee Lucas. Yes. Oh, my God.
Fuck my life. Are you going to leave that in?
Sure am. Damn it. I mean, he's a murderer, too. yeah three names i got it there's an h i'm fucking tired there's an it's fine all right so listener Anyways, yes, we should do.
Yeah. So if everybody's down for that, which to be honest, even if you're not, it's it's our show.
So we'll do it if we want to. But. It would be nice if you guys wanted it.
I'm totally kidding. I'm just being a dick.
Yes, that's my motto. It's call everybody out.
Not you guys, just like everyone. And honestly, I'm just being an asshole.
I just wanted to make it funny. For real.
Let us know if that's something you would like.
We would love to do it. It's really fun to watch those things and react to it.
Let us know. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So this one is really, really long and I was chuckling to myself today while reading it.
It is called The Creepy Fucking Landlord That Lived in Our Basement, A Listener Tale.
Yes, I know I have. Who doesn't have that experience? actually i had a not a similar experience but i like low-key related to like a little bit of this um because my mom let us live in great places when i was little bye whoop so this one is from Chris and it says hello you magical and wonderful weirdos my name is Chris yes you can use my name in a podcast if you use this story thanks chris thank you i'm going to apologize now for the length of this story do not never never And possibly the jumbledness that may or may not come with it.
I'm going to try my hardest to keep everything in order.
And she does. You don't have to. It's cool.
Our brains are crazy too. Yeah, fucking jumbledness is my brain.
Okay, so jumping right on into this shit show that was my life for six months.
When I was around 10 years old, my parents separated for a short while.
My mom had just had my youngest brother three weeks before the split, so she had all four kids all on her own all under the age of 16. after she packed her shit and left we stayed in a hotel for about a month while we searched for a home that was big enough for all of us Now, since my mother had just pooped out some crotch fruit, she wasn't working.
That's the most beautiful way of saying giving birth.
Wow, that's beautiful. Pooped out some crotch fruit.
You know what? Absolutely. Crotch fruit makes me laugh so hard.
I never had heard that before. I love it.
Someone crotch goblins. It's just the funniest thing ever.
So she wasn't working because she had a baby.
Translation. My older brother had this friend that we had known for a while. and he was needing a place to live, so we told him he could move in with us once we found a house, as long as he helped with the bills and the groceries.
We also had my mom's brother and one of my mom's friends that wanted to move in with us to help my mom and all these damn kids and the bills until she could start working again.
This is a full house. So after spending a month in a hotel, we were getting desperate to find a house that would fit all of us.
Eventually, my mom found this ad on Craigslist for a six bedroom, three bathroom, three story house for only $1,000 a month.
I'm going to go ahead and say you don't want to move into that house.
You don't. It says fucking steal, right?
Abso-fucking-lutely wrong. My mom responds to the ad and goes to look at the house.
The house is a little creepy. The rooms and halls were dim and outdated.
Every single entry entryway door or cabinet had padlocks on them and it smelled a little old and weird but hey this house was cheap and she needed to get us kids into a house asap but the padlocks yeah the padlocks are real that would be the thing that i'd be like yeah you know what something weird happened here so i'm gonna go ahead and leave so the landlord the fucking landlord dude We'll just call this shit stain Kirk because, I don't know, Kirk is just question mark, question mark, question mark.
Sounds like a creepy name. Sure. Sorry if you're sorry, Kirk's upon the first trip to the house, he told us that he currently lived in the basement.
But it was because he was building some one bedroom duplexes on the property and would be out by 30 days of us signing the lease.
But he would still be around periodically to finish building these crazy ass buildings.
Fine with us. We just needed a house. When we moved in, my mom made him take all the locks off the doors and the cabinets.
Good call. I forgot to map. Jesus. i forgot to mention he even had locks on the fucking fridge what yeah because she wasn't comfortable with that so he took off all the locks except my mom's room she thought it was weird but she figured he just forgot and would remember at a later time No.
Nope. I don't think that's it. Now, the first weird thing we notice is that he was like, he has like 15 locks on the outside of his door in the basement.
We were all like, what the fuck, Kirk? Whatever.
The dude is just weird, but he'll be gone in 30 days.
Guys, no, none of this is just weird. So then he starts asking my mom on dates.
My mom is like, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark.
First of all, ass wipe. I'm 32 and you're like 65.
What? Second of all, I literally just shitted a child.
I bet that's exactly what she said. That's amazing.
So he gets all pissy when she turns him down.
Again, it's whatever because we needed a house. then my mom is going through her closet this is crazy oh no and finds this hidden fucking little tiny closet with a secret door and a padlock on it again we were like fucking kirk so we literally get some big ass cutters i don't know what the hell they're called but they're like bolt cutters or something i don't know i'm not bob the builder okay and bust that shit open and look inside we found this nappy ass blonde wig the fuck?
Fishnet stockings. No. Short black dresses and a name tag that reads a female name very similar to his male name.
Wait, all of that except the nappy wig is what you wore to our funeral.
Get out of my goddamn face. I didn't wear a name tag.
So it's a female name on the name tag that's close to his male name.
And she says, say his name is Kirk. The name was like Katrina.
We were all confused, but we were like, okay, dude has a side hustle.
No big deal, right? So we boxed it up and put it back.
So a few weeks later, my mom remembers it and goes to pull it out to show my uncle.
And that shit is gone. Oh no. So this sumbitch, I don't even know what that is.
Sumbitch. This is so funny. has been in my mom's room.
Remember the lock on her door? Keep that in mind as the story goes on.
I have been. I certainly have. We had a downstairs bathroom by the kitchen.
This part is so nasty. by the kitchen that nobody used because we all tried to stay upstairs as much as possible and as far away from Kirk as we could.
I hate this. Well, one day my mom takes my little brother down there to give him a bath because all the other bathrooms are occupied. she walks in and found shit smeared all over the toilet what again what the fuck kirk My mom, being the angel she is, instead of going down there and beating his ass.
She leaves a note that was like hey if you leave a mess please clean it up.
I have small children in the house and I don't want them getting sick. she even cleans this fucking toilet for him no this woman is an angel because i'd be like literally come clean your actual shit up i would literally light him on fire That's just how I would handle this.
This is insane. The next day she finds a note from him on the toilet that reads, I have been doing this for 25 years and I won't stop now.
Like what? I've been shitting on all over my toilet for 25 years and I won't stop because of you. battering shit all over this bathroom for 25 years and just because you live here it will not stop me I will be damned if you will tell me to clean up my shit.
Oh, man. Wow, Kurt. Or Kirk. Or whatever your name is.
Annie took our toilet brush and smeared it all over the toilet just to make more of a mess.
Like, dude. Yo, why are you so adamant about putting shit all over our toilet?
Like what's the meaning of this? And at this point, it had been past the 30 days.
So we were all like pissed. He was like, oh, just give me a few more weeks and I'll be out.
No, no, Kirk. No. We still just needed a house.
Guys, you don't need a house this bad. I'm here to tell you.
I'm here to tell you. then this this is fucked oh no then my mom starts waking up in the middle of the fucking night to a goddamn hand reaching out from under her bed and rubbing her legs yo like it's time to burn this house down with kirk in it because that motherfucker needs to go In fear of getting murdered by this psycho, she didn't say anything Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and t-shirts.
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The town of Agde in France is famous for sun, sand, sea and sex.
But lately, life on the coast has taken a strange turn.
The town's mayor, a respected pillar of the community, has been arrested for corruption.
His wife claims he's been bewitched by a beautiful clairvoyant.
Then there's the mysterious phone calls that local people have been getting.
I am the Archangel Michael. The whole town has been thrown into chaos.
As the mayor is unable to carry out his duties, I would like to address you all.
Legal proceedings have been initiated. Join me, Anna Richardson, and journalist Leo Schick for The Mystic and the Mayor as we investigate a story of power, corruption, and magic.
Binge all episodes of The Mystic and the Mare exclusively and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.
Start your free trial in Apple Podcasts, Spotify or the Wondery app. anything and just rolled over when it happened when she woke up her door would always be unlocked even though she always locked it because she was scared of shit like this happening It got to the point where it was happening.
Change the lock. Just get out of there. It got to the point where this was happening every night.
And so we all ended up blowing up air mattresses and sleeping in her room.
My uncle, her friend, all my siblings and their friends.
So we just had a big ass slumber party every night and it stopped.
She was never touched again. Thank you.
This man would come up to little 10-year-old me and tell me he'd give me a bag of oranges if my mom went on a date with him.
Question mark, question mark, question mark.
Nabra. Keep your creepy ass oranges. Nabra.
Nabra. bag of oranges i'd be like whoa what a treat kirk like you really know what kids are looking for how about some money motherfucker Then we started getting our electricity bill.
The shit was over $800. What? My poor broke mother literally shit her pants because she couldn't afford it. somehow she mustered up enough money to pay for it for the next four months but jesus man i feel so sad Like, I feel so sad how much trouble she went to just to pay this electricity bill.
We also started noticing that our food was disappearing and it was because fucking Kirk was eating our shit.
Oh, hell no. I love that that's what you're so pissed about.
That's my breaking point. No. Nope. You eat my food.
I'm out. Yeah. If you couldn't tell already, the pompous sharp biscuit never fucking moved out.
Sharp biscuit. He would even take our clothes out of the washer in the middle of a wash cycle, put that shit on the basement floor and put his clothes in. like fuck you kirk okay now to the real spoopy poopy shit oh i'm sorry that wasn't the spoopy poopy shit there was both spoop and poop in all of that there was So we all kind of felt creepy in the house and we all figured it was just the Kirk vibes until we started seeing white figures in the house.
What? at first it was harmless just out of the corner of our eyes but then it started getting negative we would wake up to the piano playing at the bottom of the stairs and the fucking piano didn't work It had no strings.
My mom was like, question mark, question mark, question mark.
I don't know, kids. We're going to die. I don't know.
I guess this is it. Then I was playing with my babies on the staircase or on the staircase on something pushed me down the stairs.
There were a few nails sticking out of the wall where I'm sure Kirk tried to do some dumbass renovations and my knee caught on a nail and ripped it open.
And I had to get – I put the ow, ow, ow in.
And I had to get seven stitches. My mom went to Kirk and was like, question mark, question mark, question mark, question That seems to be the only thing that's happening here.
Why are there nails on the stairway? And he was like, question mark, question mark, question mark.
I don't know, man. Figure it out yourself.
Me and my three-year-old brother were playing hide and seek and obviously I wasn't going to hide in the hard spot because he was little and still an idiot.
So I hid at the back of my empty closet with a crocheted blanket over me that I could still see out of because it had knitted holes in it.
So anyways, I'm just chilling, thinking about Hannah Montana or some shit.
Are we all? I mean, I've been watching that a lot lately.
While waiting on this little idiot to come find me and quote unquote he walks into the closet and I can see him through my blanket.
So I rip the blanket off and I say, you found me.
Because I was a bomb-ass big sister. And there is nobody there.
I sat there like, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark.
So my big baby ass burst into tears and ran to my mom.
Thankfully, she always believed us and told me just to yell at them to leave us alone the next time.
I see something scary there was a ton of other shit that happened to the other 10,000 people that lived in that house But a lot of them refused to tell their stories because it fucked them up.
So back to this fucking panini head, Kurt.
Panini head. You're killing it with these insults.
I love it. I love it. A human after my own heart.
Right. He had been fucking with the wiring when he was building those stupid fucking apartments or whatever next door.
So every time we took a shower, the metal knob to turn on the shower to adjust the temp would shock the shit out of you.
Oh my god, it's like Parks and Rec. I call that shock wire.
And you couldn't stand on the drain because it would also electrocute you.
We told him and would you believe me if he said question mark, question mark, question mark.
I don't know, dude. Figure it out yourself.
I believe it. At the time, we had a Pitbull-Mastiff mix, so he was a big scary... This is my favorite part.
So he was a big, scary looking doggo, but he was a big old baby.
One day, Kirk was walking up the driveway and our dog barked at him through the fence and Kirk straight up, no lie. diarrhea shit his pants what we could see it on the outside of his pants we felt bad because some people are just scared of dogs and ours was a little intimidating Don't feel bad.
Kirk is a piece of shit. This would have been fine if this dude didn't go sit on our porch swing for three hours with shit in his pants.
I am... I am not even in a reality right now with this story.
This is insane. It's bananas. At this point, we're like, okay, we need to get the fuck out of here.
It wasn't when he hid under the bed or fucked up our wiring or even that he was eating our food that threw us over the edge.
Nope. It was the fact that he shit his pants and sit on our swing that was the last straw.
You can't make this shit up. No. Like, you cannot.
Around the same time we got our monthly $800 electric bulb, my mom was done.
My uncle was done. We were all done with bitch ass Kirk.
I'm done with Kirk. Me too. So we wanted to know what the fuck he was doing in his bedroom that was making our electricity so damn high.
We asked him if we could see what was in his room and if he could help pay the electricity bill because he was living there too and using electricity too. and he flew into a fit of rage, so we let it go until my uncle and his friends had a few drinks and felt brave.
Now, I do not condone what happened next, but I do.
I do, too. But if it didn't happen, we probably would all be murdered by now.
I don't even know what happens next and I condone it.
They took those bolt cutters or whatever the fuck they are and they cut all the locks off the store and went in when he wasn't home.
I would have done it. This is fucked. Are you ready?
I'm not. He had eight different monitors hooked up in his room, all connected to cameras all over the house. along with three computers running God knows what.
So not only had he been down there watching us, but he was also the one running up our electricity bill because of them running 24-7.
He had hooks hanging from his ceiling. Keep this in mind for later.
He had magazines and posters and pictures of brutal bondage.
Not the okay BDSM, but like the gross rapey kind.
Oh, my God. So my uncle and all his friends are like, okay, one, what the fuck, Kirk?
And two, call 911. I was just going to say, I really hope the police were called here because this isn't cute anymore.
So as they're getting ready, it never was cute.
It never was, but it's like... To call the cops.
Fucking Kirk comes down the stairs and is freaking the fuck out.
He literally starts strangling my uncle.
And my uncle's friends and my brothers pull him off.
While in the process, his shirt rips and we can see under it.
He is wearing this leather strappy suit under his clothes with these big rings all over it.
Rings that seemed to be meant to hang from the fucking hooks from his ceiling.
Okay, not gonna kink shame, but we were all like, fucking Kirk, dude.
So anyways, my uncle gets free and puts this dude under citizen's arrest with the goddamn handcuffs that were in his room.
That's amazing. This is amazing. This is everything.
Yeah. Though I know my mom had to go to court a few times, but I was so young, I don't remember exactly what for.
We packed up our shit in under two hours and booked it to Arizona where we had family that we could stay with.
After this whole idea ordeal, we were talking to my mom's friend that lived there with us.
She didn't move in with us, but she left.
She didn't move with us. She left the house but stayed in the same city.
And she said she did a lot of research on the history because she wanted to know why it was so haunted.
And apparently she found articles about Kirk's mom being in some sort of satanic cult and then dying in the house.
She sent clippings in the mail to us and we still have them.
So yeah. There's the time we lived in Satan's asshole.
That is the truest, most amazing description of a place I've ever heard.
Yes. If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading this.
I seriously love you two and listen every day to and from work while I'm And while I'm going to bed, I've I've been wanting to send this story to you since you started Listener Tales.
But to be honest, I'm just a lazy piece of shit and I don't want to type all this.
But anyways, love, Chris. Chris that is truly outrageous I was reading it and I was dying And you can't make any of that up.
No, none of it. Like, that is... That is...
It's unbelievable, but so believable. We had a super weird neighbor when I was growing up.
I won't say his name, but we lived in like this like janky ass apartment, the one across from the school. oh yeah i remember the neighbor named d yep and he like definitely stole stuff from my mom's room yeah that's creepy i didn't even think of that Oh, I hate it.
Hate it. Yeah. All right. Well, let's go on to the next listener tale.
And this one... is pretty awesome. It's from a VIP listener.
Because it's from a true VIP who some of you met this weekend at the Gramercy show.
Drumroll, please. Debra, my best friend.
It's Elena's best friend and I adopted Debbie as my other big sister.
Exactly. So, and now... Let me set this up.
This listener tale is like close to both of us because the whole thing I was like on the phone with her for.
And it has to do with the Boston Marathon bombings, which was like a really intense, you know, if you're from Boston, you know.
So let's start. she says hi lovelies hi deb hi here's my listener tale it's long like annoyingly so sorry about that let me know if you need me to whittle it down I copy and pasted it here, but also attached a PDF because I think you have a Mac.
If that's easier for you, love you. She's always looking out for the greater good.
She really is. that's such a dumb thing just like i also did this love you bye all right hi everyone i have been elena's best friend since we were about 15 years old i met ass when i Oh, cool.
My name is Ash. Thanks, asshole. I met Ash when she was four or five, and she was just the cutest little muffin I ever saw.
She still is. Oh, no. Debbie, I love you.
I know that my being friends with these two makes a lot of you jealous, and I'm here to tell you that you should be.
I loved it. I love her so much. Ash has been making me laugh and bringing me joy since she was a tiny child.
And Elena is the best friend anyone could ever ask for.
I'm gonna cry just ask her about the time she chased my college ex-boyfriend through his place of work And loudly berated him, making sure that not only everyone in the building heard, but also I heard by keeping me on the phone in her pocket the whole time.
That happened. I did. He cheated on me and broke up with me in a text message.
Guys, it was warranted. See? It was hell warranted.
Don't worry. I will always have anybody's back.
You will. So I could gush over these two all day.
I literally beam with pride over all they have accomplished, achieved, and overcome both professionally and personally.
And I love them with my whole heart, but I know how much they are going to hate having to read that.
So I will get to the other reason I'm here to tell you about the time that there was a terrorist in my backyard.
I love you, Deb. Confirmed. In 2013, I was fresh out of grad school, working at my first real job and living with my fiance, Pat.
Love, Pat. Pat. Pat is now her husband. in Watertown Massachusetts we lived on the first floor of a two family house at the end of a dead end street The upstairs neighbors, Rachel and Gary, were our age and were great neighbors.
They also had an adorable pug. On April 15, 2013, the Boston Marathon bombing devastated the city.
It was tragic and horrific, but luckily hadn't impacted us too directly.
Still, the whole city and probably much of the country was shaken up.
It definitely felt a little post-9-11 in those following days, especially working in the city.
On the night of April 18th, Pat and I went to sleep around 1130.
Around 1245 that night, my phone rang and it was Elena.
This was very out of character for her, as Elena and I both have always been grandmas. and I would have expected her to have been asleep too.
I ignored the call and figured if it was important she would leave a message.
Five minutes later I got a call from my sister.
Now I was beginning to get suspicious. I answered half asleep and my sister was freaking out saying something about the marathon bombers being loose in Watertown and throwing bombs around our neighborhood.
Apparently, Elena had called my sister when she couldn't get a hold of me because what she had heard was this. the Boston Marathon bombing suspects had shot a police officer, hijacked a car in Cambridge, led a police chase through Watertown, initiated a shootout with the police and began throwing grenades in the exact neighborhood that I've lived in a year before.
Elena, you can probably fill in the details here, but I think I remember you saying that you heard them mention Dexter Avenue. which is where we had lived the previous year.
It was still less than a mile from where we were living at the time of the manhunt.
This is true. So what happened? I'll fill in these blanks.
This is a fun listener tale because it's interactive.
Please turn off your thing. you turn this off it's on she's blowing up with text messages right sorry no it's on silent but it's like So what happened that night is that John and I, so we were watching TV.
We were about to go to sleep. Everything was crazy because the Boston Marathon bombing had happened a few days earlier and the suspects were still on the loose.
Everyone was kind of on edge and we were watching TV and suddenly this breaking news came that a police officer had been shot in Cambridge.
There was, you know, a chase. People thought they saw this guy.
So we started listening to the police scanner because we were like, holy shit, what's going on?
All of a sudden, I start hearing them going to Watertown.
And I know my best friend lives in Watertown.
And I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah. So all of a sudden they said Dexter Avenue.
Now Deb had lived there, like we said, the year before, but I forgot whether she lived there now.
Or whether like I mixed her streets up because she moved a street over.
So I didn't know if she lived there now.
And the other one was a year ago or vice versa.
Because you were like panicked. Because I was panicked because all of a sudden, I'm not kidding you guys.
I'm listening to the police scanner. These police officers start screaming and yelling.
They're throwing grenades. And they're screaming.
They're talking about explosions. I'm like, oh my God.
So I start calling Debbie like crazy. So back to her version.
My brain couldn't comprehend what she was saying until I woke Pat up and we turned on the TV.
He thought I was freaking out over nothing and told me to go back to bed.
Oy is right. once away with the poodles once he was able to see what was going on we were both on edge By the time we received the news of the manhunt, the first brother was dead and the second was on the run.
We looked outside and saw police officers walking around our house with flashlights.
It was such a helpless feeling knowing that a literal terrorist was on the loose in our neighborhood and no one could find him.
We stayed up all night waiting to hear news that they caught him but that never happened.
Pat and I would take turns napping so that at least one of us was alert and following the news at all times.
Throughout the night and the next day, the police issued a shelter-in-place order for all of Watertown and eventually all of Boston and the surrounding towns as well.
This is true because I remember John got up and couldn't go to work.
This was a really scary time. Like, just talking about it now, I'm like, ugh. um no one was allowed to leave their houses my poor neighbors had to try to get their dog to pee on a newspaper in the basement because they couldn't even take them outside even in the yard It was unreal to see surveillance footage of Boston during the day with no cars on the street.
That really was nuts. It was like, you know, apocalypse.
We got let out of driver's ed early. There was helicopters flying over my driver's ed.
That's crazy. Throughout the day we saw occasional police officers in our yard, but no one searched our house or even knocked on our door.
It seemed like our little street was just outside of the main search perimeter.
Pat's best friends lived on a street closer to where the shootout had happened, and they sent us pictures of SWAT cars and military tanks driving up and down their street.
All day we heard the sounds of Black Hawk helicopters flying over our neighborhood. one point from our bedroom window we could still see police officers looking in the bushes at the end of our dead end street maybe 20 feet from our window I'm not sure about that.
I'm really bad at spatial relations, but it was very close.
Same. This is one of my favorite stories.
Oh, my God. I love this. At one point Pat searched the basement while wielding a wooden baseball bat.
We learned later that Gary from upstairs had also searched the basement. while holding a glass of tepid water.
Rachel and I were safe in safe and capable hands, guys.
It's true. He was like, what are you going to do with tepid water?
He was like, throw it in his face. I don't know.
After many more hours, around 7 I believe, they announced that the travel ban was lifted even though they couldn't find him.
I told Pat that we should leave and go to my parents house, which was about 45 minutes away.
Pat rolled his eyes at me and famously proclaimed. why should we leave what's gonna happen now so we didn't leave note we should have left Bye.
A short while later I was trying to rest and Pat was looking out the window.
He wasn't saying anything and I later learned he was trying to prevent me from panicking. but apparently there was a very large police presence right near the bush at the end of our street where they had previously searched.
Helicopters, which had been circling all day, got very low and very loud.
Before I knew what was happening, gunshots started ringing out all over the place.
Like an absolute maniac. This is how I know I would never survive any kind of serial killer scenario.
My instinct was to stand in front of the window. flap my arms like a baby bird while saying oh my god oh my god oh my god repeatedly Pat told me to lie flat on the ground, so I did, but truthfully the idea to do that never would have crossed my mind.
Pat stayed at the window as he was convinced that the terrorist was going to try to escape from wherever he was hiding and run under our window.
And it was going to be up to Pat to jump on him and save us all.
A police officer outside our window spotted Pat and yelled, get the fuck down on the floor.
And sheepishly, he obeyed. We soon learned that the terrorist was hiding in someone's boat.
This was so nuts, guys. It wasn't the boat like next door.
It was literally like right through their backyard.
And he was hiding in this boat. And I remember being this like huge thing where everyone.
In fact, me and my friend Damien – shout out to Damien – sat up all night on the police scanner – texting each other like update being like whoa this is happening because we just couldn't stop listening it was like it was like an action movie it was unbelievable So, we learn that the terrorist was hiding in someone's boat in their backyard.
As it turns out, the boat's owner's backyard almost diagonally abutted our backyard.
And by backyard, I mean about 10 square feet.
These properties were tiny. The police officers were able to get an angle on him from our street because it was kind of just open pavement at the end of our street and directly behind the boat.
After a couple of minutes of me lying on the floor in the fetal position crying hysterically, we heard loud banging on our door, a SWAT team carrying very large weapons quietly quickly flooded into our house and we're trying to get an angle on the boat from one of our windows i was on the phone with debbie for some of this by the way They pulled out our couch from the wall and told us to hide behind the couch and to stay down.
During our stay behind the couch, I heard Pat mumbling, where's my bat?
I can't find my bat. I'm pretty sure that the actual SWAT team in our kitchen had us covered, but just to be sure we secured my husband's weapon of choice.
After a few minutes, the police officers yelled at us to run now.
That was all they said. I will never forget that scene And I wish I had the presence of mind to take a picture.
If we had been in an action movie, it would have been way overkill.
There were hundreds of police officers flooding our street.
They were crouched behind walls and hiding in corners with their weapons drawn.
They used the Karza shields as they ran to take their positions.
We got outside and seemed to be the only house getting evacuated.
We didn't know where to go and the officers just kept saying run.
We quickly found our neighbors, Rachel and Gary, with their pug under Gary's arm.
We ran up the hill together, Rachel and I in tears.
Up the hill, a whole neighborhood stood outside watching down on what was happening.
A nice family invited us into their home and gave us blankets.
We were soon getting phone calls from national news stations asking for interviews.
Apparently, they had found our numbers since they were registered to our address.
After a while, Pat and I decided to walk to his friend's house about half a mile away.
They drank beers and shared stories and I ate cookies and cried.
Eventually we found out that the manhunt was over and that we were allowed to go back home.
As we walked the mile home, there was a lot of celebrating in the streets.
Police officers were fist pumping out the windows and everyone was feeling a lot of relief.
I remember this like seeing this and hearing it on the phone and stuff.
Yeah. And like police officers were driving by and the entire town was on the streets like. like celebrating the police officers because those guys let me tell you did some shit I think I was like getting ice cream when they found him.
Were you? I think so. I think I was. I'm not saying where I was getting ice cream.
I was just going to say. I remember one thing from Debbie's neighborhood or like next to her neighborhood because they were in a like lockdown.
This woman needed milk because she had kids and she couldn't get out and get milk.
Police officers went out, got them her gallons of milk and delivered them to her.
And I remember seeing it and being like, that's fucking awesome.
Yeah, it was just those police officers that day were like really amazing for Boston.
So our street was locked down for about two weeks while the FBI conducted their investigation.
Our neighbors had bullets that went through their house, but luckily no one was hurt.
We actually loved living there and renewed our lease for another year after that.
It was crazy day for sure. But now, many years later, it makes for a really great story while playing two truths and a lie. anyway that's my listener tale Elena and Ash I love you so much thank you for being wonderful We love you, Deb Deb.
I love you so much, Deb. And that tale is so fucking crazy.
And I'm so glad you sent it in because. It's cool to have been a part of that and be able to tell the other side of it and how it all happened.
I've heard that story so many times and it never gets old listening to it.
It's crazy. And I remember being on the phone with her through so much of it and hearing police officers like telling them to get down on the phone.
I was freaking out thinking something was going to happen to my Deb and my Pat.
But yeah, so. My Deb and my Pat. So that's Deb's story, and that's a crazy one.
Thanks for sending it in, Deb. Thanks, Deb Deb.
Thanks, Deb Deb. all right my next one is listener tori that time i sassed a robber and almost got shot love it Hey ladies, before I start I just want to say I love your podcast.
I travel a ton because I'm on my university's debate team.
Cool. That's rad. And I've never boarded a flight or gotten in a car to travel without having the latest episodes downloaded.
My name is Carrie. Oh my goodness. Yeah.
To give some context, I was 18. I haven't grown much since seventh grade, so I am 5'2 and had to stand on my tiptoes to look this man in the eye.
I feel you. I was waiting for that. My church runs a fireworks booth every year around the 4th of July that I've been working since I was 13 or 14.
So I'm pretty experienced at bullshitting people into buying a couple hundred dollars worth of fireworks. because I was normally the person under 60 in the booth, the only person under 60 in the booth.
So I handled all the sales and technology and stuff.
The guy who runs it is a fucking asshole who constantly berated my mom, a single mother who raises three badass kids all by herself.
So needless to say, I wasn't pumped to be working it again, but I was helping raise money for a trip my church's youth group was going on.
We ran it for 24 hours or so. Someone always had to be inside the booth.
But because the guy who runs it is an ass, we were constantly short staffed, especially for the night shift. so one night I get a call from the guy who was there with his two little boys asking me my mom and one of my brothers if we would be willing to come do the night shift he had He had work the next morning and four kids, so obviously we said yes and went over, bringing one of our dogs with us, which we would normally never do, but it just felt right that night.
Everything was fine for the first few hours and because it was a few days before the fourth, business was slow.
The guy and his sons were getting ready to leave in a few minutes and we expected to...
Yeah, and we expected to take turns sleeping in lawn chairs that we brought with us.
Then, at about 11pm, the shady-looking dude walks up to the booth.
And but like, who am I to judge when you want to get your fireworks?
So he walks over to the window and I try to start giving my whole spiel about how great our products are. and asking him what he's looking for etc at this point one of the little boys who was outside the booth handed him a flyer and he came inside the booth which i didn't think anything of at the time he's not responding to my obviously great sales pitch which weirds me out further but again do you what you want i'm just here to try and get money for some jesus-y stuff A few minutes go by with him not talking or looking at me, and he comes up to my window again.
I ask, hi, what can I get for you? At this point, he pulls out a gun, cocks it, points it at me and says, your money.
I looked at him and just sort of went, okay, here you go.
This is all the cash we have. She's like, okay.
She's like, just take it. which was about $300 that I had pulled out from our cash box.
Most of our transactions are done electronically. which I tried explaining to him, so we didn't have a ton of cash, which really pissed this asswipe off.
He started getting super aggressive and threatening to shoot me for hiding money from him.
And then he started threatening the little boys. at that moment i did probably the dumbest thing i've done in my life i took the coins we had in the cash box threw at him threw them at him and said i'm sorry did you want change with that too a lot more condescending than I meant to I still can't tell if that pissed him off or made him respect me because he looked at me he's like well shit While still pointing the gun in my face and said, look, you're smart.
I think you know what's going to happen if you're hiding money.
To which I replied. Listen, dude, you can come back here and look.
We don't have any more cash. At this point, my dog, a pit bull mix.
He's literally the sweetest boy. He just looks scary.
Puts his paws up on the counter. Da-da-da-da-da-da. and ending up scaring the guy away.
We obviously had to file a police report and I ended up working with a police sketch artist which was pretty cool.
Oh, my God. Oh my god. Love y'all. Carrie.
P.S. I'm attaching pics of my angel dog and the sketch artist that the artist came up with. first of all the dog is adorable second of all that's a crazy good sketch i know i was like like a really good sketch and then third of all well i think it is hilarious what you said to this man guys do not say those things when someone has a gun in your face definitely not She was like, I'm sorry.
This is hilarious, though. But that's an example of it turning out. well yeah but you know what carrie high five you for being sassy as fuck i know All the way through.
All the way through. I love it, Carrie. Thank you for that.
So my next listener tale is called I Was Kind of Kidnapped?
No, seriously. And it's from Rachel. Hey, Elena Nass.
Why do you keep calling me ass? Is this like a Freudian slip where you hate me?
I'm like, yes. No, I think it's because I keep feeling like I'm going to spit when I say it.
So I'm like trying to not spit on the microphone.
PTSD from the live show. I do because I spit all over everybody.
I feel like that's going to happen again and again.
I didn't notice it at all. And every time you said it, I was like, why is she even acknowledging it?
Because I feel like you should acknowledge weird shit like that.
But I don't think anybody noticed. But I did.
You know what it is? It's the lights. And so every time I spit, I could see all of this.
It was like hyper-projected. So don't worry, guys.
I'm not sick. You were like the principal from Not So Raven.
I sure was. All right. Hello, Elena and Ash.
Thank you. I wrote you guys a week or so ago just thanking you for being who you are and making my life brighter and your wonderful banter and hilarious.
Seriousness. Stay weird because us true snoops, spoops, snoops.
Us true spoops love it. Oh my god, that was so nice.
Anywho, guess what? I'm back to tell you the most effed up story from my childhood.
I'm in. I will begin by telling you that I turned 29 this year and my mom, who is wonderful, but my grudge is still being held against her, and you will see why when I tell you my story. and my quote-unquote dad, who started out with a great paternal instinct and as I got older turned into a steaming pile of suckfest, just to put it lightly.
Oh, that's a bummer. Sorry, I too get carried away in banter, sisters, so bear with a girl.
I got married this March 2009. Good job.
Congrats. Congrats. To my best man friend of eight years.
Apparently, according to my family, marriage is what makes you an adult, not...
Not your age. So they decided to sit myself and my newly wedded husband down to tell us some information about my youth.
Weird, since they hate each other and are divorced, so we are on edge already at a Starbucks in a crowd of people.
Love that for my anxiety. Hold on to your butts.
So as I sit, tearing my napkin into tiny anxiety-sized pieces, my parentals decide to tell me that when I was five, I was fucking kidnapped.
What? Yes. Right out of my driveway and returned promptly and unharmed.
Now, fun fact about my mom and sperm donor.
I remember this happening vividly, but...
Those a-holes decided to tell me it was a nightmare and put me in counseling, making me think I was Cuckoo Banana Nut Man.
Because of all the details I had from this quote unquote dream.
So I know you're dying to hear about my not dreaming kidnapping.
So here it goes. this is gonna stress me out it's wild i'm just gonna stress me right out i grew up in a safe good old 90s neighborhood where i was an expert in mud pies at cafe rachel French accent.
Cafe Richelle. Richelle. And drawing portraits of my guests with chalk as they enjoyed my mud pie craft. honestly that's a beautiful sentiment and you know what i feel that i did this all while wearing my pink tutu and pocahontas work boots Well, one day we were celebrating my birthday in the summer, so more family would come out.
So I was five, but we were celebrating six early.
Yay! I was at the end of my driveway in usual garb and making some detailed pies however All my guests to my cafe were too preoccupied in the stupid princess bounce house in my backyard to care about my craft.
That's when a man rolled up in a fucking wood paneled minivan.
I'm already really stressed out. Like this is giving me anxiety.
It's a lot. which in the 90s were cool as fuck but thankfully didn't last too long now this man was interested in my cafe and in fact he had some more mud for me that he needed to get rid of Now me, a sheltered five-year-old in Illinois, basically in the middle of a cornfield, thought, yes sir.
That makes complete sense. Let me just happily hop into your car.
So I fucking did. Right? oh right my girls just turned four and i'm like heart palpitations right now don't ever let them I'm constantly telling them, I'm like, all strangers are fucking nightmares.
Do not talk to them. That is literally what I tell them.
I really do. I'm like, no one is your friend.
Everyone you meet is awful. It's all a nightmare.
Don't talk to any grown-up. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare.
None. This man drives away just chatting with me about mud and whatever, so I told him that we just had to make sure we could be back for my cake.
Oh my god. Because I had a special wish to make that my parents would stop fighting so much.
Guys. It tear jerked me. Guys. I know I was pure as fuck.
You really were. You were. Well, me wishing for my parents' marriage to not fail saved my damn life.
This man had a change of fucking heart to say the least.
He pulled over, lit a cigarette, drank out of a flask, and started going mad batshit crazy. beating his steering wheel, screaming why he was like this and sobbing.
Isn't that so fucking scary? Dude. Like, picture that.
My whole body feels so many feels. yeah I can tell every part of me is stressed but it's so good whoa I, meanwhile, let him know that nothing cheers you up like a good mud pie.
This slayed him. all of the sudden he stepped on the gas so hard i went tumbling to the back of the van He went screeching back around my neighborhood, got out of the car, opened the door, picked me up, legit threw me in the mud and said, happy birthday.
I'm so sorry. and sped off my dad came running down the driveway screaming that he found me to tell the cops i'm okay And threw a rock through this man's back window.
See? Cool dad then. He swooped me up and my mom came running and they sobbed. i didn't understand why i was just with my new friend getting new mud but they continued on with my party as if nothing happened jesus christ holy shit I am feeling so many things.
Apparently the cops apprehended him and he had driven himself into a tree and died. which is sad, question mark, but better him than me.
Not sure how to feel since my whole life I thought it was a fucking dream.
My parents never cared to find out his identity either, just confirmed the license plate, and there was mud in the back of the van, so there's that.
Isn't that so crazy? So that's my story about how I almost got kidnapped.
I'm still pouting about the truth being released because Let me tell you, I've lived my life on the edge.
Windows open, doors unlocked, couch sleeping even. when I could have been taught to be cautious and safe and learned from this fuckery instead of thinking Stephen King was writing books in my head.
So thanks, Mom, and whatever. I hope you guys enjoyed my story and keep it weird.
Love you weirdos. Rochelle or Rachel. Isn't that bananas?
She straight up got kidnapped and was so pure he gave her back.
Like, that never happens. So the fact that it's like, holy shit. right and that he's sitting there like and i can picture that like vividly yeah because this man losing his shit being like why am i like this oh so much and she's like oh my god mud pie will cheer you up and he's like happy birthday got out of my fucking car oh my god I am having another stranger danger talk with the girls tomorrow.
All strangers are the worst. All strangers.
None of them are okay. Just me. just me well you're not a stranger no an adult i meant sorry other adults that are not me okay Your turn.
Last one. Okay. Listener tales. Dude, I've never been so spooked.
Hi, my name is Maya and I absolutely love your podcast.
I am currently studying to be a mortician and true crime has always been so interesting to me.
Heyo. Heyo. along with the supernatural.
I've been meaning to send this email for a while now, but I either haven't found the time or I just forget.
I'm finally doing it now, though, because I thought you might enjoy this little story or at least get a good spook.
I am about to tell you the scariest supernatural experience I've ever had.
Hold on to your freaking butt. oh cool supernatural one i need that after that kidnapping yeah it's good to end on one of those give me a spoopy boat ghost yeah a spoopy boat boast When I was 16 years old, one of my best friends, I'll call him Bruce.
I love Bruce. Bruce was having a birthday.
He had always been really into spirits and the idea of communicating with them and had mentioned a few months prior that he really wanted a Ouija board.
Never get your friend a Ouija board. Love Bruce.
No. I love Bruce too, but no. I thought Ouija boards were a bunch of baloney at the time.
They're not. The only times I've ever seen them were used on YouTube with a bunch of girls.
Excuse me. I don't know why I just said that.
A bunch of young adults acting terrified.
Just a bunch of girls. Like how fucking assumptory of me.
That's not a word. Whatever. Acting terrified and moving the planchette by themselves.
But I figured if it would make Bruce happy, heck yeah, I'll get him one.
Hell yeah, Bruce. Hell yeah. Bruce. When he unwrapped it, he was beyond excited and insisted that we bring it a little ways up to the mountain he lived right next to that night.
Oh yeah. Not even realizing how murdery that sounded.
Mostly to call out whoever was moving the planchette.
That night, we went a short ways up the mountain so that we could still see Bruce's house, but we were still far away.
Everyone was taking it so seriously that I actually lost all desire to make fun of my friends, and instead I just tried to comfort their obvious fear.
I was the oldest in the group, and they looked to me as the mother bear.
I won't go into detail about that night specifically because this is just to set up the really spooky part so you understand why it happened later.
But I will say it was my real aha moment that led to me believing the whole Ouija board thing.
Oh, damn. I had been appointed the speaker since I guess you were only supposed to have one.
We followed all of the precautionary steps to a T.
When we got back, I just remember us all sitting on the couch in Bruce's basement wordlessly out of shock.
Bruce's parents forbid Bruce from having the Ouija board in the house.
So I told him we could keep it at my house until he got his own apartment in the future and that he could use it whenever he wanted.
That was a dumb mistake. She says that not me.
Yeah. Yeah. with a planchette haphazardly thrown on the corner of it.
Nope. Nope, nope, nope. and I knew they were the ones who took it out I made a mental note to scold him later as I put it back in its box, not even thinking about what Bruce had told me about how it was dangerous.
Oh, shit. You're not supposed to leave the communication line open or something like that.
No, you're not. I know this. For the next week, I was feeling like I was being watched from the corner of my room next to my closet.
Remember that. It's important. all the time and all the time and uh chalked it up to paranoia i cannot talk paranoia from watching horror movies all by myself which i did quite often Ha ha ha. was trying to yank me out of the bed.
Fuck that. Yeah. It didn't feel hot or cold, just like pressure. my half asleep brain was trying to process that it was feeling that it was feeling but not seeing something trying to pull me out of my bed and I did the only thing I could think of in that state.
I yanked my arms and slammed myself down onto the bed as hard as I could.
The pressure ceased, but I had hit my head really hard on the bed frame.
You didn't? Why not? Crazy. By the next night, I managed to convince myself that it was some sort of stupid sleep paralysis type thing, even though that completely...
Even though that didn't completely make sense and I went back to my room.
Sleep paralysis sucks. Yeah, it does. I want to do a whole episode on those.
You should. Yeah. uh it was the weekend so i was up really right who am i you're having a moment i am i was up really late and around two in the morning i felt pressure on my head as if something was stroking my hair over the welt on my head the previous day.
I know. Creepy. along with the air around me getting cold, and then I heard a whispered male voice clear as day say, go to sleep. i would literally i don't even i would burn the house down i'd be like sir i don't want to you're freaking me out what to do bye you're scurrying me sir i don't want to go to sleep no no no no no I whacked myself in the head with the heel of my palm as I was trying to get a spider off and ran upstairs.
There was no way I could make that logical in my head.
I was crying and hysterical and ended up remembering the Ouija board as I tried to sift through my head for an explanation.
I immediately called Bruce who was a little frustrated that I called him in the middle of the night but he was nice about it since I was being so hysterical and I told him the whole story.
I will never forget when he said, hold up, Maya, why would it yank you out of bed one day and then be so gentle the next?
And how I yelled through my ugly crying that I didn't know anything and I just begged him to help me.
Because that's what I was like, he sounds nice.
He's like, just go back to sleep. And he's just stroking your head.
I'd be like, thank you. Well, maybe he's trying to tell her to go to sleep so that he can take her to the fucking underworld without her noticing.
Okay. Diamonds have a plan, too. Diamonds. he agreed to come over the next day and check it out I slept on the couch we'll let it go that one time I was just going to say that we're not doing well right now.
I would sleep on the couch that night too.
I would sleep in Canada that night. I would sleep in another country.
I would sleep in Guam that night. The next day Bruce came over and immediately couldn't stand being in my room for even a few minutes because he felt such a strong negative energy from the corner next to my closet.
Oh, Bruce. that's right the corner i felt like i was being watched from a mutual friend of bruce and i i'll call him henry that's my favorite point name i said that ash came over after a call from Bruce and told me he would he would hold on to the board instead of me and and he would keep it in the trunk of his car.
I had never been so happy to give something up.
Nothing has happened in my house since then, and Henry says that nothing weird has happened to him either, so I'm glad this is over with.
I really wish I wasn't so ignorant and I wish I had decided to at least learn some rules about Ouija boards before actually agreeing to keep one in my house. where i knew grabby little children would be digging around my mom even scolded me for having it in the house without telling her and told me i deserved what i got That would be me as a mom.
I've said it once and I will say it again.
If my motherfucking future kids bring a Ouija board into my house, they gotta leave.
They gotta leave. You're a victim child.
Back to the story. I'm glad to say I'm finally moving out of this house in a couple months and can hopefully stop having nightmares about staying in my own room.
Thanks for reading this super long email and I hope you like the story.
Thank you so much for doing the podcast and for keeping things lighthearted when they get dark.
Don't stop doing what you're doing, ladies, because I love you for it.
Maya. I love you, Maya. Maya, I love you too.
And damn. Damn. I'm choosing. to believe that that man that was like just go back to sleep stroking her head maybe he was a nice one and maybe the other one was a mean one he was just trying to be like i'll hang here and i'll protect you i disagree i mean it could have been a diamond and he could have been trying to try to hurt her and he was trying to to summons her to the underworld with his With his hands.
But I don't think diamonds need help like you to fall asleep to drag you down.
I think like Yeah, but maybe it just makes it easier.
Maybe he's like, I don't want to hear you fucking screaming.
Shut up. Go to sleep so I can drag you quietly.
Are you kidding me? Diamonds love for you to scream.
I bet. Probably, but maybe this one was new in training.
I don't know. Either way. Maybe it was Sabrina from part fucking three, and she was like, I really just gotta bring you, so shut up and let me bring you.
Wow, spoiler alert. Well, not really. Did you just tell me a plot line?
No. Did you just tell everybody a plot line?
Well, everybody's probably watched it except you.
It's been out for like four minutes. It's been out for like a week.
Yeah, that's still, that's not enough time.
Us bingey bitches. Yeah, but you gotta give it more time before you start spoiling it.
Well then edit it out. I'm going to. Bye.
Sit. Put the argument in though. I will.
So we just argued because Ash just spoiled. uh sabrina the th which for me but i won't make it so that it's spoiled for you guys too it's really not much of a spoiler you know what i love you all and i don't want you all to be spoiled like i am not much of a spoiler So either way, that is our listener tales.
We only had a few because they were super long, but they were well worth the time.
They were. Sure they were dank. But that last one.
Made me think that. Maybe we should do, we wanted, I know I wanted to do an episode about sleep paralysis because I suffer from it and I know a lot of our listeners do too.
So if you could, we'll do one full episode that I want to like look into the science behind it.
I want to look into like the whole thing.
Would you please send us your sleep paralysis tales so we can we can read some of yours during this? and um that's a cool if you want to just email us with the the um subject the first thing you put in it is sleep paralysis and then whatever you want to name it But send us in so I can read some of your tales so that we can put it into the episode that we're going to do about it.
Maybe a couple episodes. Cool. But do it because I really want to hear other people's tales because I have some too and I'll tell you mine.
I only have one. I've only gotten it once.
Well, I got it once when I was really, really little and then I got it one more time.
But other than that, it's never happened.
Yeah, I see. I get it like every few months.
I got it while I was camping. That's why I'll never go camping again.
Fuck. camping well yeah so send us in your tales and subject them sleep paralysis and in the meantime follow us on instagram at a morbid podcast do you want me to say it again no morbid podcast Follow us on Twitter.
Amorbid Podcast. Hit us up with your sleep paralysis to our Gmail. morbidpodcast.gmail.com.
Go over to our website to check out what we have for tour dates. morbidpodcast.com.
Join the Facebook group. morbid, colon, a true crime podcast, Facebook group.
Go find it. It's awesome. Donate to our Patreon if you're feeling so inclined.
Patreon.com slash Morbid Podcast. And Patreon donors, look out for your bonus episode soon.
Yeah, this week. This week. Look out. We hope you keep listening.
And we hope you keep it weird. But not so weird that you have a creepy landlord shitting on your toilet and you try to leave, but you can't really leave because the electricity is expensive.
And not so weird that you are in the middle of a Boston bomber story and like everything is just happening around you and you have a glass of tepid water because that's not really gonna do anything don't keep it so weird that you get kidnapped because of a mud pie you offer this guy mud pie and he's like yeah i can get you some more mud pies and then he's like happy birthday got the fuck out of my car I gotta go and then sassy robber it'll be sass and robbers it's not a good idea but like at least you got out of it and don't keep it so weird that you buy Your friend, a Ouija board, and gets stalked for the rest of your life by the closet monster who is going to drag you to hell.
I die then. Bye. Go do it. If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
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