Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Cress Podcast. I'm Crystal.
I'm G-Soo.
I'm Eugene.
All right, guys, I have a pretty interesting Gen Z word of the week today.
And there's kind of a story behind it too. So the word or phrase is bombastic side eye.
And the story behind how I learned this was actually not from TikTok.
Because I feel like all the other words that I've brought for the podcast have mostly been
discovered for me personally on TikTok. This one was actually, I was playing some games with my friend.
And someone spoke in the team chat voice, bombastic side eye.
I mean, my friend were just like, what does that mean?
So we were just silent and hella confused until he asked the stranger.
He was like, what does that mean?
Oh my god.
And I was like, should we sound like boomers now?
Like, the stranger was hella stumbled.
He was like, well, it just like bombastic side eye.
And we were like, what the fuck does that mean?
He didn't know what it meant either.
Oh no.
Yeah, exactly. We're like, this is no help.
Like, we're not getting educated here.
My friend, he ended up googling it, I think.
And he was like, oh, okay, I think I understand your struggle to explain it.
Because I guess it is just like a bombastic side eye.
Why do I have a feeling that that stranger was also like 25 plus?
100%
100%
100%
He was just kind of blend in.
His little cousin showed to him and it's like, yeah, how many start you using that?
Honestly, maybe because throughout the entire game,
which was probably about 20 minutes, he just kept saying it.
And like, I think what confused us even more was that like,
even if we did something good, you would be like bombastic side eye.
Dude, he's trying to throw you off.
Yeah, like, what's going on, right?
But the funny thing was that like by the end of the game,
being my friend, we're kind of like, ironically using it back at the stranger.
You must go so validated after that.
You guys did him good.
He's like, I converted them.
Yeah.
By the end, he was like, yeah, you guys are getting it.
And I was like, I don't know if we are.
But after that, I actually asked G.C.
I was like, what is bombastic side eye?
And Jesus' response was just a laugh.
Dude, but I love this word.
And I don't know the origins of this phrase,
but in like the TikTok audio, it's always like,
bombastic side eye and then criminal offensive side eye.
And I think it's like the funniest thing ever.
But I feel like it's a really good word to use
to kind of poke fun at someone who's saying something weird
without directly calling them out.
It is pretty useful to use in a daily life.
So do you just say it like the whole phrase,
like how you'd say like no cap or something?
I don't know if people say criminal side eye part as often.
Yeah, I don't think they say the criminal offensive side eye much.
Sometimes I just say side eye.
And I think it's, you know, gets the message across.
Okay, do you guys want to hear the audio?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay, hold on.
Oh, I'm free.
I love the vine booms sound effects.
It makes everything so much funnier.
It's so good.
Not even shortly after, it was maybe like two or three weeks,
almost a month after that bombastic side eye
game encounter that it finally showed up on my TikTok.
And I immediately shared it with G.
So I was like, do this my first bombastic side eye TikTok.
I have a feeling though that this word is going to go out of style
like somewhat soon.
So we have to get in all of our bombastic side eyes
while it's still somewhat trendy.
Otherwise, we'll miss the opportunity to say it.
Can we hear the quarter this episode like five?
Oh yeah.
Everyone has to use at least once in the episode.
That's our vision.
I'll try my best.
I guess, did we even define it yet?
Yeah, what does it mean exactly?
Because I don't want to use it wrong like that guy.
So from my understanding, it's just like a side eye.
So if you do something like, I don't know, I guess like out of the ordinary
or like something worthy of a side eye,
then you can be like bombastic side eye.
Yeah, the urban dictionary definition says,
when someone says or does something really weird or uncomfortable towards you
or others or themselves,
and then you just call it out by saying bombastic side eye.
Huh, interesting.
Can I ask a question?
Is using urban dictionary like a boomer thing to do now?
Oh no.
I use it, but like I feel like I shouldn't have to.
But I think you're right.
Hey, it's okay.
Like all people need reading glasses.
We need urban dictionary.
It's like, it makes sense.
Ooh, it's a little tragic.
Okay, well then, what does Gen Z do if they don't know slang?
They're like when like Toby Parker got bit,
became Spider-Man.
They just have like that sauce in them, I think.
They just know.
And then they get like past 24 and it's all gone.
I wonder if it's also like they're able to use context clues better than us.
We're smart.
We know context clues.
I think we get it.
It's just you just want the confirmation of knowing
that you're not using the word wrong.
Right, right.
Like I got rid of myself, you know.
I'm a big boy.
Do you guys cover Riz before?
We did.
We did.
We got it.
Do you guys cover what it like is short for?
Yeah, charisma.
Yeah, blue my mind, dude.
Same.
Well, so now that we have a mission for the podcast,
let's get into the actual topic of today.
So today we brought on our friend Eugene to talk about dating apps and first dates
and all of the kind of confusion and patterns that we see on our experiences with both things.
So let's start off by talking about dating apps.
When you swipe through the profiles on hand or Tinder or whatever,
what are some things on a person's profile that kind of gives you the egg?
One that I think might be a common egg for people is
when the person's profile, usually a guy has only shirtless picks.
Oh yeah.
That's a good one.
Okay, can I ask?
Because obviously I'm a dude.
I want to understand because I think I get it.
But from a girl's perspective, what does that show?
Like the animal kingdom of mating calls?
What does that show to you in terms of what vibe they are?
They just have like gym selfie shirtless picks.
So yeah.
I think the main thing that it shows is kind of like look at me.
Like I'm so cool.
I gym every day.
I'm hell is strong.
Like it's kind of giving the feeling of when a guy tries to call himself Alpha.
And that's kind of a like,
like, what?
He's doing like show don't tell basically.
I feel like I could also picture that person
if their entire profile is shirtless picks.
I just know he loves looking at himself shirtless.
And I just know like every day before he showers,
it's like 10 minutes in front of the mirror.
Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
But I feel like it's a compatibility thing where if you're not really into the gym lifestyle,
then you guys might just not work out maybe.
Hmm. So I was talking about this with my roommate,
Xing Wei, you guys might know him.
Because we were debating whether like a girl having gym selfies is the same.
And we were like, it's different.
Why is it different?
Besides you know,
dude's being simple male brain.
And like being okay with that.
At least it feels like when when girls are like into fitness,
stuff like that, it feels a bit more.
It's a lot of I don't want to say genuine.
I don't know what it is.
But yeah, for a dude, it's like you know that like they think this is hot.
And then for girls, it maybe is more just like,
yeah, I like working out.
But that might just be like biased thinking or something.
But I think if like a guy had just one gym pick,
then that kind of gives similar vibes to like,
oh, I like working out.
It's like, oh, I'm proud.
So I'll post one picture about it.
But when like the whole profile is just like shirtless picks or like gym picks,
then it gives the like more negative vibe of it.
Do you think like if a girl had just all gym picks and or selfies,
would that still give off the same vibe of like, oh, I like to work out?
I feel like one thing if it's all like shirtless slash like like what do you call like
thirst picks, right?
It's like, okay, you're clearly going for something.
And I respect you, but you know, I'm not thirsty right now.
But if it's like, I don't know, I assume that they do some like really obscure lifts
or like them taking like protein and it's like, okay, they're just like a bodybuilder.
Good for them.
Like I won't date you because you'll crush me, but like cool.
I think that's maybe more respectable than like like your standard guy who always
pictures it clearly looks like he's just showing off how hard it is.
Yeah, I think I can agree with that because there's definitely a respectable gym pictures
that guys can post on their profile too.
Oh, for sure.
Do you have any other X that come to mind?
Actually, before all this, what's your guys' like hinge experience slash are you
honored right now because I was telling GC when she told me about this.
Like I do not go on hinge at all.
I've never been on hinge.
So I downloaded it like two days ago to collect some data.
Yeah, yeah, basically.
I've been on hinge for a bit, but like very casually I guess.
And it's almost more to like scope out the dating scene in the different areas that I've
been in lately.
Yeah, it's almost just like collecting data of what the dating pool looks like.
You're just researching.
Yeah.
Contending like field analysis.
Yeah.
Does it inform any decision making at all or is it just like a curiosity thing?
Yeah, I think it's like more curiosity.
And it's also interesting because when I first got on hinge, I was in New York.
Oh, tough competition.
So then like coming back to the bay, I was like, whoa, it's like so different here.
And I also see so many people that I know either from high school or like college or
like mutual friends or something.
Very, very common to see in the bay.
If you had to sign a positive negative value to the word different from New York to here,
would it would be better worse?
What other words might you use?
I think like it's probably overall better, but in some ways it's a little worse.
So the kind of like just that I feel like a lot of people agree on is that in New York,
the selection of people is better.
It's like more diverse kind of interesting because it's not just like all, you know,
software engineers or something, but they're like, pickier, I guess?
Like those people are pickier because there's actually more woman in New York than men.
I don't know how accurate that is actually, but that's just like what I've always heard that
there's more woman than men.
So it's a little harder for a woman.
And then in the bay, the opposite is true where there's more men than women.
So there's like more pickings, but they're less interesting.
Or less diverse.
The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
I see.
And G-So you just happened to be on it.
I'm assuming, right?
You were like, wait, wait, wait, when you and James are dating, it was like, was Tinder even out?
Was that a thing?
Was I filmed something yet?
Like,
It was the early stages of Tinder.
So I had like a brief maybe like one week's tint on it.
My hand's experience actually comes from swiping through like friends hinges.
And I do have an Ick actually because I don't like really bland profiles.
And what I mean by that, it's like, it's almost like the default answer to all of the question prompts.
And like the photos are kind of giving like LinkedIn profile picks.
Like, slash my mom took this photo, but not in like a cute and daring way.
More of like, this is just me posing in front of some background.
And so I might be being really picky here, but I feel like something that
can spice up a profile is like, if the pictures have different emotions and poses.
But if you're like doing the same pose in every photo and it's just the background changes,
then it's not a really interesting profile to me.
When I was doing my research yesterday,
I had a cool cool research. There was a person that had like a the same wink face on every photo.
Like a pan and trademark wing face.
It's like, oh, like, no, like, no, that's that's a cute look.
And it's like, wow, that's also a cute look.
Huh. Wow. Yeah.
It's like every scenario like hiking in the woods like at a club.
Oh my god.
Interesting.
But like, would you prefer it if they weren't smiling in all of the pictures then?
Like some of them are a little more serious to like, change it up a bit.
Or is it okay if they're just like doing their normal smile for every picture?
I'm personally biased on this because I don't smile for pictures.
I'm like the guy in high school who made the dumb face every time.
And I just stuck with me through through my life.
So I respect a no smile profile, but it's it's nice to know you can smile for pictures.
But it's also really hard to I don't know.
How do you people practice that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But I think one smile would be nice.
But you know, it doesn't have to be like a poet smile.
I think the different like you said,
different situation, different emotions that conveys.
If you're getting kind of, you know, artsy about it.
Like I think that that paints a more comprehensive picture than
a one vibe type of thing like same face, same place, it's stuff like that.
Yeah, I guess it's like there should be at least one kind of candid photo.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
Even if it's like posed candid, I think it's still better than just default smile.
Wow, I'm thinking about my profile.
I actually smile on every single photo except for the last one.
That's your one candid.
Okay.
Nice. I'm saved.
I'm a happy person unless, you know, a little spice to it.
But my last photo is like a troll photo.
Even better.
Actually, how do you guys feel about like a troll photo
slash like, you know, when they have like four like really badly propped Facebook memes on there
and then one picture of them?
It's like, oh.
Okay, actually that is kind of anic if there's like no good photo on the profile.
Well, some people, they just put only like blurry photos or like they're always wearing shades
so you can't actually see the whole face or they're wearing a mask or something.
Yeah.
Then it's like, okay, well, I like can't see you, you know, like.
Yeah.
So I think that's kind of bad.
I think a good profile definitely requires at least like one or two solid photos where
you can see everything you need to see.
Yeah, for sure.
I think adding to that a bit is like when they don't have picks with friends, not that you
need to, but like I think it just helps to know that like, oh, like, oh, I think one like,
it helps assess the vibes a bit.
It's like, okay, like these are type people hang out with, but like also like they're all
just like photos of you or selfies.
I don't know.
It leaves a hole to be to be filled, I guess, in my imagination.
It's like, oh, are you are you a stalker?
Are you?
I don't know.
Who knows really, right?
Okay, I've a counter to that, which I heard recently from someone which I thought was
a good one.
If they don't have photos with friends, but they have like pretty good photos of themselves,
there had to be someone to take the photo.
So there are friends behind the camera.
That is true, but why don't you take your picks, friends, you know, they're your friends,
why not, you know, but there's a selfie timer for a thing, right?
That's a thing.
I don't know.
But I see your point though, like clearly there is someone behind the camera.
So what about if a profile has a photo with someone of the opposite gender and they
look really like it's kind of giving ex girlfriend, ex boyfriend vibes.
Does that give you the Ick?
Like are you immediately like no, or do you kind of give them the benefit of the doubt?
Do you remember the trend on Tinder when it first started where like people would crop
out though the person's face and be like, this could be you.
Oh yeah.
It's disgusting.
Dude, that's actually a prompt on hinge.
This could be you and you can put a photo.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I hate that.
Okay.
I think it's kind of funny if they like put emojis over the other person, but I think
if it's just straight up like a photo of them and whatever other person, it's a little
like weird.
It's like you didn't have any other better pictures.
You know?
It feels a bit, what's there worth for it?
Like, it's like almost to jumping into it too fast for me.
Like, I want to see you as like, like if I'm meeting you, you're like a single person,
right?
And like you're with single lives and single things to do.
It's like, I don't need to see you in a relationship yet because like, or I don't know you.
So I don't know.
Yeah, that's, I think that's a bit weird.
So you can also be like friends with girls and guys and like have pictures with those
too, right?
So I don't know.
That's true.
Yeah, it's probably better to have a picture with like a couple more friends than just one
friend, huh?
Probably, probably.
I thought of something that I don't really like.
It's not necessarily an IK, but it's more of a like a me problem.
Maybe I'm the IK.
Yeah.
When I see people who went to my college, I immediately say, no, damn, that's fucked
up.
Our poor Triton community.
Do they're down bad?
Yeah.
I think I check like their age and if it's too close, then I like say no.
Because what if there's like mutual friends?
Are you, are you the avoid all the messiness type when it comes to dating apps?
Yeah, I guess so.
When it comes to dating apps, I will prefer it when there's like minimal connection to
other people just because it would be kind of weird.
What if you're telling your friend like, oh, I went on a date with this person and they're
like, wait, I know this person.
And then it's kind of, it's kind of weird because maybe it makes very little sense, but
in why it kind of makes sense.
But it's kind of like, oh, what if there's mutual friends and like this person has a previous
reputation that they've grown out of, but since like someone is a mutual friend, since like,
I don't know, elementary school.
And then they like tell you embarrassing stories about them or something like that.
Then it feels kind of like, oh, then this person is added to disadvantage because no.
Do you just got penis pants and send grade?
That's like, that's like, get out of there.
Yeah, kind of, kind of like that.
So I prefer it when it's just like less mutuals or less chance for that and then just like
learn about them in your own pace.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I guess I understand, but I also like that for the opposite reason where like the last
time I used to hang like a year or whatever, like I like to talk to someone who I actually
knew from college or like we were like acquaintances and then went out and then went on a date,
but it was cool because it was just like because we knew each other, it could be just very
casual and not even a date, but since you're on hinge, it could be a date.
You just assess the vibes when you get there.
And it's like, you know, like, you know, we just hung out like no second date, but we texted
a bit.
It was nice.
Nice catching up and stuff.
So it was like plausible to not abilities.
Is that the word for it?
I just like, yeah.
Wait, that's so funny.
It's like you guys both show up, but neither of you know if it's a date or not yet, you're
like, yeah.
Like we're just like, hey, how have you been?
Why are you on hinge?
That's crazy.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Well, I've said it before on the podcast, but I'm not really a friend data.
So I think that's also what like plays into factor here.
It's smart.
Yeah.
I'm exclusively a friend data.
Unfortunately, so it's fucked up.
It's okay.
I think I mean, being a friend data also makes a lot of sense because it's like you
do want to be friends with your significant other at the same time, right?
Ideally.
Ideally.
But yeah, it does.
It does get messy though.
So I'm envious of your position where it's like, it's your own little thing and then
you tell your friends about it versus like, all right, this person, your friend group
is now, you have to change everything you know about them because now it's a couple
and it's like, oh, no.
Yeah, that's fair.
How do you guys feel about people who are like really serious about like commitment stuff
or like, arrange stuff in their bio?
So like, people who are like, oh, my love languages are like, I'm like an INFT and I only
date other INFT's for some sort of that.
Or I guess like that people who've been looking for a life partner.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, you can set that option.
Which is crazy that you can do that.
Wait, is this like a part of your bio, like a part of your bio?
It's like, it's like a high hometown life partner.
It's like, wow, that's why you don't have to put it, but there is the option of putting
like, looking for and the most common options are like short term relationship, long term
relationship, figuring out my dating goals and like life partner.
That sounds like a lot of pressure.
You can also like comment, like you can explain like why you chose that right?
You know, subtext of like, oh, it's because I want a life partner.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
I think at our age, when you put life partner, it's kind of intense.
It's like, whoa, like right off the bat, this is going to be very serious.
I'm unsure if I'm ready for that.
So to me, it's not necessarily an IK, but it's like a, I don't want to waste your time,
you know, that kind of feeling that I get when I see it.
But someone putting like long term relationship at first, I was like slightly put off by it,
but then when I saw that there was life partner, I was like, okay, life or long term relationship
is much better than that, much more acceptable.
It actually kind of gives a vibe that they're like trying to date seriously.
And then short term relationship.
I feel like, why would you put that?
Like you could just not put it on your profile and leave it ambiguous.
I don't understand that one.
It's like, you just want to fling.
Is that what it's supposed to imply?
I guess so.
Do you think people putting that are looking for flings or like, I don't know, actually,
I don't know what they put it to be honest.
Right.
And then the other one, like, figure out my dating goals.
I feel like that's another one where it's like, okay, you can just take this off the
profile and leave it in the US.
Yeah, I feel like maybe figure out my dating goals gives a vibe of uncertainty or lack of
confidence maybe.
Okay, actually, I don't know if this is a controversial take or not, but sometimes people
will write like, I'm not serious about this profile, whatever blah, blah, blah.
Oh, they put like, why am I here?
Oh well.
Yeah, yeah.
Just trying out the inch.
Uh-huh.
And I feel like that's kind of like, I feel like that's kind of like, I'm not sure if
I'm like, maybe there's a fear of putting themselves out there, but then at the same time,
it's like, well, you already put yourself out there by being on the, on the dating app.
So you might as well just like make an acceptable one.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
It's like they're trying to not be cringe, but by doing so, they are being cringe.
Yeah.
And that is where that's really cringe.
Yeah, I feel like what's stuff like that?
And just like I think in my general philosophy on Hinge for the one month I used it last
year and the two days I've used it this year is that like the less you show, the better
almost because I mean, I don't know.
It's like like people are going to look at your profile for like three to five seconds
at max.
And like 90% of it is if you're hot or not, right?
Which is totally fine because that's how we like view people in real life.
And then you talk to them and you're like, oh, this guy's cool.
This girl's cool, whatever.
I don't know.
Just like, just make yourself look like a vibe.
And like, you don't have to show everything about you.
And you do that when you talk to each other, right?
You have to be like, oh, these are like my core values and, you know, like stuff like
that.
My attachment, my attachment, it's like, I don't, I'll figure that out.
It's fine.
I agree with that.
I guess that goes back to your question originally.
Like, how do you feel about seeing people who are like super serious and like writing paragraphs
for their prompts or something?
I think that's a little slightly off putting for me because it's like, whoa, this is like
a lot of information if you can just keep it for the most part, like short and succinct,
but with enough info, that's like probably best.
Hmm.
So I have a question for you guys.
And this is, I guess, more of a hypothetical after we reflect it on all of our profile
eggs.
If you could build the ideal hinge profile that you would want to see pop up on your feed,
what would be on it and what would not be on it?
Hmm, pretty hard.
I guess it starts off with good kind of diverse photos of yourself.
Mm-hmm.
I think in general what I like, even just dating in general, just when you like people,
like as a person in general, I feel like 99% of it is just based on a vibe.
And like what vibe they have.
Like every person has their own vibe, right?
Like I know, I mean, I'm overused in word vibe a lot, but every person has their vibe.
You know, that vibe will work with other types of vibes or the same vibe, but like not
other vibes.
That's like human nature in general.
So I feel like if your profile just conveys a very strong vibe of like, oh, you're this
type of person, you're this type of person, eventually it'll work out with someone else
who will match up with that.
Like no matter like how good or bad looking you are, blah, blah.
So along with you, like do the right things to show that you have that vibe, like your
pick show off, who you are, what you do, what hobbies you might have, and you're like,
you know, your prompts show off whether you're like,
a funny person or you're like, deadpan or I don't know, you're your cringes or something
because cringes people are a vibe too, I guess.
But you have to figure out your vibe, which I think is like a bigger, you know, you'd
go to a therapist and figure that out, you know, I mean.
So then what is the vibe you're looking for in a profile?
Me personally.
Yeah.
Not super serious.
It's just like, you know, they're funny and have like a humor about like this whole
thing being kind of weird, I guess, and just like into like some niche stuff.
And if it's niche stuff that I'm also into, then that's sick.
If it's not at least it's cool that they're into something that's like, you know, their
own thing, but also has like some sense of like normal people things like, oh, they go
out to things with friends and stuff like that.
If it's like, you know, six picks of them being like a satanic cult, like I respect you,
but you know, maybe have some friends go with you to the satanic cult, right?
Like that's me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Crystal, what about you?
Huh.
I don't know.
I think I agree with humor.
Humor is a good one.
If they're able to have somewhat okay prompts, because I can understand prompts are sometimes
very hard to fill out and write up.
But if there's like a sense of truth to it, but also like bit of humor behind it, that's
always good to see.
Oh, if they don't use any like overused lines, dude, dude, dude, did you know that
otters hold hands or something like that?
So they don't drip the part.
Did you know I don't like pineapple on pizza or I do like it.
I do like it.
It's crazy that I like it.
No one else does.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
There's like a lot of those lines I see on hinge.
And then I guess like the general vibe in Eugene's words that I'm looking for.
Yeah.
That I usually look for is like someone who feels very like chill, but like at the same
time excited about life.
Because I would say I am overall a pretty like calm person.
So if they can balance out with me by being the slightly more excited half, but also at
the same time like not too crazy, then I think that usually is like a good dynamic.
Going off that real quick, do you think like since you are looking for something like
who's like kind of bringing more excitement to your life?
I guess right?
Do you feel the need to like cater to that in your own profile?
No.
Hey, rock on.
Honestly on my profile, I just put whatever I think is pretty true to myself.
My prompts are pretty simple though.
There's three written prompts.
You guys want to hear them?
Yeah.
Okay.
If you share your thoughts, share in mind.
Okay.
And then you can listen and critique us and judge us.
On judge.
Yes.
So my first written prompt is you should not go out with me if you sleep before the
AM.
So my friend actually helped me come up with this one.
I thought it was a pretty good one because it's like kind of funny because it's not like
your typical way of saying it, but it's basically like you should just know that I'm
a night owl pretty much, right?
My second prompt, I want someone who will make me a playlist for running.
So captures two things that I'm interested in music and at the moment I'm like running,
I guess.
Also, if you're like prompts like that are really good to like like if I do it's interested,
it's like really easy for them to to respond to that.
Give you something, you know, say something to you.
Yeah.
And then my last one is we'll get along if you can be the fifth for my Valorant Five
Stack.
Nice.
So those are my three written prompts.
Those are good.
I think they capture a lot about your personality and like your hobbies, but it's not like,
oh, I love all these things like, you know, acknowledge my hobbies.
Yep, agreed.
All right, Eugene, let's hear yours.
All right.
Okay.
Again, two days ago, two days ago.
All right.
My first one is a life goal of mine.
And the answer is to swim parentheses.
I can't because I can't swim.
And the second one is I go crazy for the answer is your Bermatte, because I do.
And the third one is where it's the same type of weird if the answer is you watch YouTube
in the shower because I do do that way too much.
My skin gets really weird and like like porous because of that.
But yeah, and thought behind these is I made two days ago.
I think overall pretty good.
The last one is definitely like a conversation starter.
I think a lot of questions behind that prompt.
I'm sure people are curious like, how are you watching YouTube in the shower?
Like what is the idea here?
Do you do you know how actually like is it a Ziploc bag or something?
I have an empty shampoo bottle.
I put like on one like, there's like this little ledge on top of my shower.
So I brought my phone up on there.
I see.
But then you would have to see the screen.
So is it propped up like this or like I'm tall?
Oh, so it works out very well for me at least.
I used to read books in the shower when I was when I was like in middle school, like
when I was going through Harry Potter, I would like hold my arm out in a crack between
the screen door.
Oh my god.
And I just like like this until it fogs up and then outside reading.
Wow.
I was not a very clean kid in one arm particularly.
That's pretty funny.
But yeah, I do like that.
They're not like too much information overload and they're like conversation starters.
Short and sweet.
Do you see what would you, you've been out the game for so long.
I don't know what to ask you to like, how would you do it if you had to do it now?
I've noticed that people are starting to edge me out of like conversation.
Like I hung out with some girlfriend last night.
We were talking about like, I don't know, red flags or whatever.
And I was like, yeah, I would never date someone who will, my friend looked at me and she
was like, dude, you're going to be married soon.
Like I say those things in your house like fuck.
She was like in valid.
Yeah.
You're like a vegetarian at a steakhouse.
You're just like, oh, it's like, you don't, it doesn't imply to you.
Sorry.
I know.
But I would definitely have some basic ass shit on my profile.
And I'm not afraid to say that.
Like I feel like my answers would be really basic, but hopefully not too overused.
But I don't know if they would be as funny as you guys.
No bar for us.
It's hard to be like truly different from all the people in hinge.
I feel like I'm sure like things that we've put on our profile like other people have
like something similar as well.
But I am curious to hear if there's any overused lines that you've seen on girls profiles
while you like did your research.
Because I've actually seen a couple that I can remember off the top of my head and they're
actually different from like New York and the Bay.
Oh, I'm just thinking of one first.
The ketema, horrors, flowers or food or boba or dogs.
Oh God.
Yeah, everyone likes those things like no shit.
I think that's one.
Another one is the pick and time in place.
This is the way to ask me out.
And it's like, oh, like pick the time in place and buy me food.
It's like, well, I mean, obviously, you're like, that's very basic.
Yeah, right.
It's like, yeah, I can pick it.
You can pick it too if you want me to.
If you want to, but it's like I can also do that.
That is human conversation.
Like, just like the very like, yes, we are on a dating app.
Obviously, this is happening.
But I'm curious about the regional differences though.
One that I saw a lot in New York was, I think the prompt was, I'm looking for and the answer
was always like the right flirt to roast ratio.
That's a New York thing.
Or at least that was one that I saw a lot in New York.
Like I said, yeah, yeah, I think I don't see that as much in the bay, but I have seen
it like here and there.
So that one, when I first saw it, I was like, oh, okay, like this makes a lot of sense.
They want to be able to have like banter with you.
But then I was like, wait, I'm seeing this like way too much now.
This is not a good prompt anymore because almost like every other person has it their
profile or I felt like, you know, they're talking about conversations.
Like it's like ground beef or something.
That's so weird.
And then another one was, this one's kind of funny.
The prompt is usually something like the biggest risk I've ever taken is and the answer
is like moved across the country to New York.
And that one makes me face palm of it because it's like, okay, well, you're in New York.
So everyone's seeing a profile already either did the exact same thing as you or they just
live in New York.
So it's like not that impressive, you know, it's like someone in the bay being like biggest
risk I've taken like, I'll join Google.
Oh, no, the horror.
Yeah.
So that one felt very like out of touch kind of.
But I did see it a lot because there's a lot of transplants in New York, especially like
from the Bay Area, which I think, okay, it's like, I guess it makes sense if you come
from like the Bay Area bubble and you're like, wow, I took this risk.
I left it and I went to New York, one of the most popular cities in the North America,
you know, literally the destination for like immigration travel often.
It's like, yeah, like I did this.
Do you feel like those types of answers are like, because I feel like MPC asked answers
to me like, do you think they think at all about what anyone else is putting?
Or they just like, no, this applies to me.
Of course, you know?
Yeah, they probably think like, wow, this actually is such a good conversation starter.
They'll probably ask me like why I moved and like why is everything skin stuff.
But it's like, okay, but we're all here in New York.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sure other people do this too, but we could talk about that.
Yeah.
Wow.
I guess like maybe it might appeal to other people who do feel like that was their biggest
risk too.
Hmm, but I feel like that quickly fades like once you moved to New York.
That one was definitely one that I thought was pretty lame, but saw a lot of.
And then in the Bay, there's one that I've seen a decent amount of.
And it makes sense that it's mostly in the Bay because people in New York don't drive.
So the prompt is I'm looking for and the answer is my passenger princess.
Oh my God.
I saw that too.
Oh my God.
What does that mean?
I think passenger princess is like when you never drive and then the other person always
drives you and you just like see in the passenger seat.
So they're saying that they want someone to just never, that they want to drive someone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All the time.
So I guess like the idea is that they're trying to be like chivalrous like, oh yeah, I can
spoil you and like make you my passenger princess.
Oh jeez.
But I don't know.
I feel like it's such a kind of cringe.
Oh, it's hell of cringe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I have seen that a lot in the Bay.
My patriarchal princess.
So weird.
Also, I feel like that just sets it up and maybe this is just me.
But if that was on his hinge profile and then we started dating and then he ever made
me drive ever again.
After that, I would fucking bombastic side.
I have.
Oh my god.
I totally forgot about our side course.
I know.
Fuck.
Alright, Crystal, we gotta hit the corner, dude.
We can't.
We can't let her down like this.
Well, let me think of more cringe lines of area people.
That is true though.
It's a or it's like, I'll buy you food and stuff like that.
Hey, I mean, one day you might not.
How do you guys feel about boba?
Just mentioning boba.
Oh, okay, I personally think it's like very whatever because I'm not obsessed with boba.
So if they have it on their profile, I'm like, also that makes you different here.
Like that makes you like unique.
That's true.
Maybe you should put that on your profile.
That I'm not obsessed with boba.
Yeah.
Fuck that feels like such a pick me.
I'm kind of 100%.
But if it works, it works.
I would give myself bombastic side.
Okay.
So can you do that?
Can you give yourself the message?
I will all the way.
They do it 270 or something.
But I do think that I've luckily not seen too many profiles with like the mention of
boba on them in the bay.
But I have seen like they have the option on hinge to make one of your prompts like a
multiple choice kind of thing.
So yeah, they would put like pick our first date, picnic or like.
Grab boba or like get dinner.
That's like usually what I'll see boba pop up in.
So is grabbing boba like a common first date thing?
Dude, I have no idea.
I haven't done it, but I assume maybe.
I guess it's the equivalent of like grabbing drinks.
Not alcohol or drinks in the end during the daytime.
Yeah.
It feels a little awkward for some like I'm just imagining myself going to
a boba shop to like grab drinks or something and then seeing people on a first day.
Like I feel like I would immediately be able to clock that it's a first date so that
I would never do a first day out of boba place.
But it's a good point because usually people don't stay in the boba shop.
Yeah.
Or if they do, they're like catching up.
They're like old friends or something like that.
You can tell by like how they're talking.
But if it's like, so you know, what do you do for a living?
It's like that's weird.
That's fucking weird.
I mean, maybe there's the option of like you get boba and then you go sit somewhere and
chill.
Like walk around or something.
Yeah.
But I'm very unsure of this.
Sorry, I can't answer your question.
Our inexperience is showing.
A little.
Yeah.
Maybe we cover this when we get on the dates part, but I'm curious about how many dates
we've both been on.
My number is two.
It's still is all within a month.
That's all I got bro.
That's all I got.
I went on a date in the beginning of the year in the bay because I was like, I want to
know what a barrier date is like in New York, I went on like a couple, probably like three
or four.
I feel like it was easier in New York because it's like, you could just be like, all right,
let's meet at this bar.
Pretty easy to walk over or like subway over.
There's like a strap to free mark and the day it's like hot pot.
Yeah, it's like a bigger commitment, right?
It's like, okay, well, if I'm about to drive like 10 to 15 miles to meet this stranger,
I guess we might as well get dinner instead of like doing anything less.
But then it's like, okay, but then I'll be stuck with this person for like a whole dinner
meal.
Like, what if it's a bad date, you know?
So yeah, there's that whole like obstacle.
But I mean, the one Bay Area date that I went on wasn't bad.
It was all right, but it's just kind of like the very typical Bay Area software engineer,
you know?
Oh, no.
How do you feel if someone described your day as all right?
Is that good or bad?
I don't know.
Probably like middle ground.
I feel like it's skews slightly negative, baby.
Okay.
Well, the date wasn't bad.
There's in no structure.
Was it like, I need to leave right now.
But what would you like it?
What would you like about him?
When positive.
Any any positive.
He was tall.
I love that.
Love that.
Do you have like the 510 and up filter in your mind when you're on hinge?
You can be honest.
Unfortunately, yes.
My filter is usually 511 enough though.
Oh, shit.
So basically anyone who was 510 and pretending they're 511.
Oh, okay.
Actually, I guess technically it's 6 then because minus 1 inch, right?
So 6 feet and up is ideal.
But there have been moments on hinge where I was like, damn, should I just like lower my
standards?
I've received mixed responses.
One of my friends was like, no, like don't lower your standards.
And one of them was like, it's not bad.
Sometimes people who are not as tall put more effort into everything else because they
know that girls tend to look for tall people.
And I was like, that's reasonable.
But it's hard sometimes for me to like, you know, yeah.
Well, would you date a, like if you met a 5, 8 person in real life, would you think
you would ever date them if you liked them enough?
Hances are hard as question of the powder.
Probably not.
That's okay.
It might be fucked up on my end, but I think probably not because I'm 5, 7, like with
shoes, I'm probably pretty close to 5, 8.
So if they're like, like level with me, it's not, it's not bad, but like I would prefer
it not to be that way.
Sounds pretty bad.
Sounds a little bad.
But I think that makes sense.
That's your standard in real life thing.
You definitely should lower it for like, for a hit and chip all things.
Yeah.
I have an issue where I am 6 foot, based literally just 6 foot.
But because of that, like it's hard for me to lie about my height because I'm not
6.
I can't lie.
It's like 6 is where people stop lying at some point, right?
Usually it's if you're a 5, 11, you're 6.
But if I'm already 6, then I'm just 6.
But then people think I'm 5, 11 because people lie.
But I'm like, no, trust me really, I'm 6 foot.
Yeah, I should bring a tape measure to like my height, height, height, height or something.
Do you have a height preference?
Oh, do I have a height preference?
Yeah, do you have a height preference for women?
Under 6.
That's about it.
Okay, let me think.
Everyone I've dated has been 5, 5 to like 5, 1, which is like, like just the average
range, I guess.
And I'm just used to seeing people like this.
If anyone's over 5, 7, it would be weird.
It's definitely not a deal breaker.
I just had to get used to it.
Yeah, I wouldn't say I have a height preference.
Maybe like 4, 10 would be like, oh, it's like I'm like taking my kid to work type of
5.
And maybe that's kind of weird.
They're like 14 inches shorter than you.
Do literally.
Yeah.
Like my friends were like 5 feet under.
I legit like, like I have to like bend down and like get school yo-sus to talk to them.
How do I always do this?
I had the thought that like when guys are taller, they're dating pool range increases.
Cause they can just date taller people, but they can still date shorter people.
But when girls get taller, your dating pool range decreases unless you're okay with
dating someone who is closer to your height or maybe sometimes even shorter than you.
True.
Like truly unfair.
Do you think at like a 5, 6 guy like seller profile and like he liked everything
about it except maybe the height.
Do you think that's a no for him like a deal breaker or he would still go for it?
I don't know.
I have received likes from people who are shorter than me and or similar height to me.
They're wasting their time.
But I mean I will give their profile a thorough look through.
But most likely at the end it's just.
I give them a like a fair honest look through, you know.
Like a courtesy look through.
Yeah it sounds like the like thank you for applying however.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
This makes me sound so ruthless.
No, no this is just standards.
It's just preference.
Yeah.
Okay so I've talked to other girls who like also have like height standards and like they
also kind of feel bad about it.
But I feel like it's like I don't know guys are the same shit where it's like if they
don't think you're hot enough they don't think whatever they'll do the same thing except
the guy or dogs so like their ranges is wider in what they accept.
But like it's the same shit get your own thing.
So.
No.
Another perspective to look at it could be like hey I got the tall jeans in my family.
So we can't waste them.
True.
Like you don't yell mean babies right?
Yeah.
You know just just another perspective.
It's a Darwinism.
You put it in your palm you believe in like evolutionary biology it's like yeah.
I want to pass on the good genes.
All right so the whole profile stuff aside for dating apps let's talk about the dates
itself.
So how do you feel before you go on a first date?
Not nervous at all.
Really?
Super confident.
No, no.
Yeah.
The nervous thought was like I hope she doesn't think that this is cringe because I'm the way
that I'm not nervous is because I'm like oh we're just like you know we're quite this
is as friendly but I hope she doesn't think anything different than that too.
And with the one person that I didn't know before.
I think that was my first like hinged day ever too like it was I was pretty nervous especially
in do like oh my god when you first like because you don't usually do the thing where you
meet a rando one-on-one in real life right like there's always some like other like connective
tissue do it so it's just like it feels like a movie scene but a really bad movie would
just like like yeah that part is like weird but I think once you start getting to it it's
okay it's okay.
Honestly I think I'm usually not nervous for a first date.
Wow.
I'm not a part of it might be because I'm like not super invested so I'm like okay
well we'll just see how this first date goes if it sucks then it sucks if it goes well
then we'll just see where it goes from there.
And I think another factor is how I said like I don't like to have connections like through
the app right.
So it feels even less pressure because it's like well I'm never going to see them again
if it's like you know if we just don't see each other again so there's even less pressure
off of that but if there were mutual friends then there's possibility of like hearing about
them or like seeing them in your circles or stuff like that so usually I'm like relatively
unbothered.
I kind of have a follow up question to this because I think when I feel nervous about social
settings part of it comes from not knowing how to say hi in the beginning like with friends
it's very natural and easy and there's like a pattern or routine like things yet that
you can kind of expect typically but with people you don't know I'm always like should
I shake their hand or like yeah so with first date specifically they're like pretty much
a complete stranger besides whatever sort of texting or predate stuff that you guys
did.
So do you go in for the hug or the handshake or how do you like greet this person.
The meek wave.
Yes.
What's a a green sheepish wave.
Yeah.
Wave and then you're like should we go in?
Oh god it hurts.
How was the drip?
Oh okay.
Cool.
Waste no time.
Get to our suits immediately.
So do you have kids?
Oh my bad.
I didn't mean to like my first date the girl was like a very like pretty assertive person
so she immediately went for the Christian side hug and I was like fuck yeah I don't
have to do any work.
Yeah I guess if you just assertive about one specific action to take it's fine.
That's good advice.
Side hug is pretty genius.
It's like it's not coming all right.
I never affectionate but not.
Yeah it's like hey we're on a date but also like don't fucking touch me right.
Yeah I just like just wave and like go into the place that we're trying to give you
the hug like an affectionate hug maybe like way.
First time meeting on the first day I don't think so.
Oh okay.
Do you see what would you do?
I would like to say I would go in for the side hug but I would probably also just wave.
Well I honestly could also see myself handshaking.
Handshaking.
I mean when you meet someone you're like hi I'm whatever a new handshake right.
I feel like handshake questionable for a date questionable.
Oh I guess that's true.
Well because you've already met sort of like on the app I guess.
I can't admit.
I feel like that would just set up the vibes off so yearly at first.
It's like a LinkedIn handshake and you sit down.
Yeah yeah it would feel undately.
Yeah very undately.
It would be funny if you'd dabbed enough though if I was good.
That would be super sick.
Like you're the one if that happens.
You're like oh I guess we're doing this now.
Yeah elaborate five moon handshake you're like whoa all right yeah no you're a bit like
that.
It's also possible though that on like a first date depending on the venue that you're
meeting at or like the spot or whatever the person that you're meeting could already
be in there.
Like they might have been like oh I grabbed a spot at the bar already like I'm at this
place or whatever.
So then I think that's actually it helps a bit because then you just walk up to the spot
and you sit down and then you can just immediately go into conversation.
What are the dates I went on.
I was already going to go like rock climbing in the city.
I was like oh you know if you want to come through and you're like yeah I'm down and
try and fall down and then she like overset an hour.
Oh god.
It was sick because I just rock climbed because I was like yeah I'm rock climbing.
So I didn't really mind but like yeah so I was already like covered in chalk when she
got there.
So like you don't know need to hug just a little high right and then we knew this
I'm talking so that was convenient.
Damn she overs up by an hour though.
I know.
That's cool.
Yeah this is the one where I knew already so it was like I was gonna have her.
Yeah I was like rock climbing I was having time in my life you know.
Yeah that's true at least you had something to do.
If you were just like twiddling your thumbs at a restaurant or something.
Oh god that was so uncomfortable.
More water please.
Well let's actually talk about like the venues.
What are your guys like go to activity or place for first dates.
Of course this is all you.
In New York usually a bar would be first date.
Easiest thing for first date just because it's like quick and easy to escape if necessary
and I think also having a little bit of alcohol in your system helps loosen everyone up a bit
and just gets conversation flowing helps get rid of like any nervous energy I think a
little bit if anyone has any.
I have done pizza as first date before.
Oh that's different in New York though right because there's like a counter usually.
Yeah.
You get pizza and then you stand around and you eat it and then like you just walk around
the neighborhood after and chat.
But yeah those are usually the like easy go to's in I would say just like a city in general
probably and then for the bay I haven't really gone on first dates in the bay.
What did you do without one guy?
We did dinner.
I feel like that's kind of the default though because it's like oh someone is probably
driving quite a bit.
So we might as well just like you know full commit to something that makes it worth someone's
time.
Man I feel like back in the day when I was on Tinder I went on like a taco date with some
guy and then after that I was like dude I'm never doing dinner as like a first date
plan ever again because I think it's a little awkward like and maybe it's just me because
I tend to be a little bit more awkward but I just feel like having to be face to face
one on one with someone while you're both eating something and then there's like pauses
while you're like chewing or like you know sometimes the other person might have like
something in their teeth or something because you're both eating.
I just feel like it's there's so much room for air and you know I feel like when you're
at a bar and there's like a drink in your hand you have like something to hold and you
can like take sips but when you're eating you're like either not eating at all or there's
like hella noodles in your mouth or something and I don't know it feels like a little awkward
to me.
I feel like you see too much of them when you do like some like dinner you're like this
is like five months in like dating things I will know later but not now like.
That's true.
I will say though tacos is a pretty rough first date because tacos can get messy for sure.
Yeah.
We're an SD.
Yeah like maybe choose something that's a little easier.
It takes soil for your first like super easy.
Yeah.
Something with less spill factor.
I've done sushi before which was pretty good.
Yeah.
I feel like bars or like I don't know like what do you call those like Korean places like
Oh like a pochah or something.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Pochah or something like that stuff.
It feels a bit more like oh you could have also met this person there and then you're
talking versus like I've never like tongue to a strange right dinner.
Right.
Like when it's like an activity or when it's like drinking it feels a bit more realistic
I guess or it feels more like oh like yeah I don't know if it actually could happen
versus something like that where it feels like you guys are clearly it feels clearly kind
of weird.
Yeah.
Sometimes when me and James got for dinner you can kind of suss out who is on like a first
date and then it will just like kind of try to use drop as best as possible because they're
talking too much.
Yeah.
Like you like into the conversation and like not eating enough.
How do you guys feel about like because I've seen a lot of first dates or I think they're
first dates at like comedy shows.
Oh.
Like what I went to I was in New York like last week and I went to a comedy seller so many
first dates which I guess is kind of a hype first date but like I don't know feels kind
of weird because you can't really talk right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's good if you throw something in at the end so you can talk about it after.
I think this kind of applies to movies as well.
You know how like movies is kind of a stereotypical date because of media and stuff but it's actually
kind of bad because you can't talk.
We can't even see each other.
Yeah.
Like you just sit in the dark for two hours or whatever.
So someone gave me advice before that to make a movie a good date like a good early date
is to watch it and then do something after so you can talk about it.
So like movie and then dinner something like that which I thought is like pretty fair especially
for a first date.
I think afterwards though it's a little easier to like watch a movie if you've gone on
a couple dates.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Movies sound like the worst thing.
The whole time I'd be so anxious like my god am I reacting weird like that.
So for these first dates do you guys typically meet there or do you typically get picked up
or pick the other person up how does that work?
Meet there.
Meet there.
Don't share your...
It's not.
Yeah there's no time to be sharing your actress.
Mm-hmm.
Especially in the bear one has cars and stuff.
Yeah.
That's true.
I'm just people who are like I'm looking for my passenger princess do you think they
offered to pick the girl up?
Oh dude they better or that's like they're already breaking a promise on their first
date.
Well I'm fast excited.
Let's go.
Let's move on.
It's fine.
Yeah I'm a big proponent of meeting there 100%.
Yeah.
Also you can dip whenever you want.
True.
That's true.
You're in control.
Also like if you get picked up or you pick someone up I feel like that car ride has
the potential to be really really awkward if it's the first day.
Mm-hmm.
What are you supposed to say?
I'm looking forward to when we get there and then the conversation can actually start
or something.
Yeah.
It's also like another aspect of like you see parts of them you don't want to see it.
It's like they have road rage or like yeah or like you see how dirty their car is.
There's a lot of things I could reveal too much about yourself and it's like later.
Once you like me for who I am they can see how I don't pick up my trash in the car.
That's a great point actually.
Oh I have a question about first dates for you Eugene.
So it's pretty common for women to like tell each other I'm going to go on a first date
tonight check my location or like if I'm not home by like whatever call the police or
you know like basically like sharing their info just so that all their friends know
that they're out on a first date.
So just in case anything goes wrong.
People will know where they were last do guys ever do that with their friends.
Totally no not all.
Well okay so this has been bothering me for a long time.
There's like there's air of secrecy I think around dudes when it comes to hinge stuff
because I feel like dudes are generally maybe not the alpha male dudes I don't know the
type but like I think dudes are generally a bit more embarrassed to tell their other
dudes about their hinge exploits because kind of like a it's like they're afraid to get
their they're going to get judged or made fun of or something.
I don't like guys don't really talk about like that right.
So I feel like I've heard like see you my close friends I've heard about their dates
like four months after happened and it's like you're a different person now bro what the
like you're a different age what do you mean like yeah I don't know I think this is like
a cultural issue or something shit at least around this area or just maybe people that
I've seen or know I have told friends that I am going to date and like that's about
it really yeah I don't in in Fremont or Melpitas I'm not too scared for my own safety.
Yeah I guess that's fair most most of the like suburban areas here are relatively safe but
I do feel like dude guys should normalize this they'll be like hey I'm going to date make
sure I don't get abducted right anything could happen yeah.
All right I have a final question for us do you have thoughts on splitting the bill at
the end of a date I ask because I've heard many many different takes about this from other
woman I've heard that sometimes they like to offer to split the bill if they thought
the date was like mid I guess because they don't like to oh the guy anything in that case
but then there's also the perspective of like women thinking like oh well you know guys
are usually paying so if I offer to split the bill that's hopefully helpful because
like maybe who knows how many first dates these guys have like gone on and had to pay for
it that's like a pretty big money sink overall so it's like kind of the idea of like normalize
having women also offer to like give their half basically and then I've also seen that
guys take of like they don't like when women offer to split the bill because they have
heard that it means that the date wasn't good or something like that so they just want
to never know just to sit in the passenger seat it's like yeah stay there but then I've
also heard that like some guys like it when girls offer to split the bill it like makes
them feel oh I'm glad that this person is like happy to offer that to even offer that
I guess whether or not it truly happens I won't lie I offer to split the bill because
fuck the patriarchy but also like I don't know it feels weird okay no okay but on a more
serious note but like the money thing is so weird because it's like oh what would a
nice person do like offer to pay I guess but like that also feels kind of I don't know
like assuming things I guess like most my relationships have only been like long term ones
and like and it's a lot easier when it's like a long term relationship right because like
there's you know you develop norms of this type of shit right yeah like oh one person
like a student no person has a job and usually the person of the job pays more but that's
because you want to not because they asked stuff like that so I don't know I I feel like
if the person I'm seeing feels some type of way about me splitting the bill enough that
it's a deal breaker then that's probably not worth it hopefully you know might might
innate charm and personality gets me through there so I don't know yeah I feel like I it's
a weird question that I've heard like guys talk about too and it feels like so unnecessary
but because they talk about it so much it feels necessary that makes sense yeah like it's
it's making a problem where I feel like there should be ideally but I get that like society
and shit so like it is so I like to always offer to split the bill on the first date it's
always made no I think I like to set the president that like I'm always willing to pay my
part and like going forward I would never have the like just automatic expectation that
the guy would pay so that's like hopefully the message that I send and it's also very
interesting to see like how a guy reacts to that I've ever gone like he's like what's
to know no I have to pay so I have not gotten that I sometimes there's the like oh are you
sure like I don't mind I can pay okay there was one weird reaction I got one time though
I was like oh do you want to split the bill and the guy was like oh yeah sure and then
he was like oh did you want points or something you can just cover the whole bill and I was
like wait I was like huh so I did end up covering the whole and then he then mode me after
which I thought was just so weird because I was like wait that's like you could we could
have good right like yeah I was just like I think he was being I think he was being
nice but giving you more like rewards point or something it's like you can clarify that
right like it's not that hard yeah I feel like I would have been like oh I want points
let me pay but I think he just like assumed he was like oh like did you want points you
just cover the whole bill and I was just like do you think that I just ended up paying
the whole thing so they do you think he assumed that you want like the reason you asked
to split is because you want to points yeah I think that was his assumption that's crazy
yeah it's all like what the fuck yeah it's like kind of consider it but such a big it's
too much yes it's like I think the assumption was what made it not necessarily bad but just
like shocking almost I was like too stunned to speak so I just put my card down and like
paid for it and then I guess it was also a little weird because then we had each other's
Venmo's after right which is like first date kind of like I don't know yeah also you see
like everyone's Venmo picture is them like 20 years ago so you see that too let's say oh no
I don't know maybe it's a plus for some people but usually like on Venmo you have your last name
too but on hinge you don't get the person's last name so I was just like oh well now this person
like could totally just yeah stock my online presence maybe that was his plan maybe but yeah that
was that was a little weird but that guy made up for it later because we after dinner we got a
couple drinks and then he was like oh I got the drinks but I was still very he's not your points
then be consistent my guy come on but yeah it was still very weird when that happened I was just
like oh okay this is a response I have never expected I don't know why but I feel like it feels a
little bit unromantic to split the bill like I think I would rather have him pay for dinner and
then me pay for drinks than us like 50 50 both things but I guess that means you have to do
something else afterwards otherwise he's just like losing out on whatever share of money but the
act of like Venmoing or like putting two cards down doesn't feel very romantic to me interesting
yeah I guess Venmo is not very romantic yeah yeah can I see the QR code please yeah I can
it was a lot involved I think that brings up a interesting point where it's like our first day
supposed to be romantic because are they usually I guess you would want it to feel a little romantic
right because then it would it would make the other person feel like oh I want to continue this
like I guess if it's not romantic it should at least be a pretty good time good enough that the
person would want to continue going on dates yeah maybe this is my like a friend dating perspective
because like I usually know the person like a decent amount before we start dating the romantic
stuff always happens like way later on at first it's always like oh like this is chill they're cool
like I'm enjoying this something like that so that's why like something like split in a bill like
I'm not thinking about the romance of it or like I don't expect it I guess does it
be able to put it until like later onwards like I feel like I'm letting that happen in my mind I
guess yeah I can see how split in the bill is not the most like rom-com type of thing though they
don't they definitely don't show that in movies that's true yeah it's an interesting one I'm also
like a chronic fundator and I feel like there are dozens of us I feel like they're still even if
you're a friend-dater the friend zone still exists and I feel like if we were to Venmo each other
like the first time we met who that would immediately like fuck as I fucked up like I would probably
feel like it's more a friendzoni you know yeah yeah because I think maybe to me like things like
manners and stuff like really matter I guess not like paying for the bill is manners but it is kind
of like showery so then it would probably lean more towards like the romantic part and like romantic
potential rather than the friendzoni area do you guys expect like because you know that this is
whole like dudes shouldn't just be like the type of like holding out your door open for a person
is like a shiverless the shiverous thing right but it's also like you just do that for people in
general but it's like especially in their current age you are now I guess like is there like
limits to shiver where it's like kind of just misogynistic versus like you know I mean because like
for me like something like assuming that I have to pay for the bill I wouldn't say it's misogynistic
per se but something that's like because I'm used to not doing that in a relationship I'm also like
I would like to expect that I don't have to do that when I'm just seeing someone for the first time
if that makes sense yeah it does yeah I guess if someone were like very aggressive about like
paying for the bill like if you offered and they're just like no like well I don't even know how
they would say it but like I do feel like if they were just like super aggressive like don't you
dare let me see your question okay okay I feel like that's kind of like intense you know like
that's true like that maybe macy think like oh is there something more behind this like it why is
it hard for you to accept someone else's payment or just like that kind of stuff but I'm trying
to think if there's anything that's like misogynistic or maybe like what's something that you would
like the guy to do that you wouldn't expect the girl to do oh in terms of just shiverless acts you
know I have a kind of silly one I like it when a guy walks on the outside of me like they are
closest to the street so it feels like I'm making sure that you're walking on like the safest part
of the street or whatever I've won similar to that if there's ever like a restaurant with like a
kind of like a booth or like a bench seat and then the other seat is like a chair
the guy always needs to sit in the chair you're like sorry but you will never get the comfy seat
wait I also have things that I feel like sometimes guys will do and I find it kind of weird honestly
I think opening the corridor for someone like for a woman and pulling like the seat out for a
woman is like kind of weird like I would feel like pulling the seat out what oh like at like at
dinner and stuff yeah like they pull the chair out of you I'm like this is like a little too much
yeah unless you're literally a cripple or something like you're good I feel like like you don't
it's just extra yeah they have to wait while you walk around the hood of the car it's like
yeah that is a lot opening corridor but opening doors to like buildings and stuff
very easy and normal I think because it's like you're both walking that way
someone will hold the door hopefully whoever is going first basically yeah yeah I would like to think
that any shiverless shiverless shiverless I'm immigrant some work hard any nice things I would
do for a girl I would also do for my homies yeah except it wouldn't be romantic it's be like
thanks bra you know type of vibe but there's probably some things that I don't know maybe the
booth thing because I think when I'm with my dudes I I check the booth you're the girl of the guys
oh 100 oh 100% yeah yeah they they pamper me oh my god I saw this meme recently
nothing nothing to do with first dates but basically it said if you're eating a meal with someone
of the same gender whoever the wait staff gives the bill to is whoever the wait staff thinks is
the top out of you two oh yeah that's what the booth thing reminded me of Eugene but I'm so
pleased the bottom I'm learning I've never seen the bill in my life that's crazy
well that was a very fun conversation about online dating and first dates in general thank you
Eugene for joining us today and I'm glad we all got to stick in our bombastic side eye for the
episode oh that's two for our listeners out there if you have any funny first date stories or
an opinion on the whole bill splitting debacle we talked about feel free to hit us up on social
media at eat your crust pod and we also have email eatyourcrustpod at gmail.com we'll also put it up
as a Spotify Q&A so feel free to answer there if you see it and if you'd like to catch our other
episodes then don't forget to follow us on Spotify Apple podcasts or any other podcasting platform
we upload new episodes every Wednesday morning thanks for listening and don't forget to eat your
crust
