Embracing the 'Every Other Year' Philosophy for Holiday Traditions

In an era where the "holiday hustle" often leaves us feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin, Laura Vandercam, host of the Before Breakfast podcast, offers a refreshing perspective on managing seasonal expectations. Her core message is simple yet liberating: traditions do not have to be annual occurrences to remain meaningful. By adopting an "every other year" mindset, we can alleviate the pressure of perfectionism and prevent the burnout often associated with December’s packed schedules.

The Fallacy of Annual Necessity

Many of us fall into the trap of believing that if a tradition is skipped for a single year, it signifies the "end of an era." Laura challenges this scarcity mindset, noting that when we fail to make time for a customary activity—such as attending a specific holiday performance or visiting a particular light display—we tend to feel upset or lament that "time is passing."

However, she argues that an era is not defined by a rigid, non-negotiable yearly cycle. Instead, an era "can encompass more than one year." By reframing our perspective, we can see these gaps not as permanent endings, but as natural pauses in a long-term rhythm. Whether we participate in a tradition this year, skip the next, and return the year after, the continuity of the experience remains intact.

Balancing Familiarity with Freshness

One of the most compelling arguments for rotating traditions is the preservation of their novelty. Laura uses the example of attending the Nutcracker ballet. For those who are not "regular patrons of the ballet," committing to a yearly viewing can eventually feel like "a lot of ballet." By spacing these experiences out, the performance feels "more fresh each time" we attend.

This strategy is equally applicable to other holiday activities, such as driving to distant light displays. By prioritizing one location in one direction this year and a different one in the opposite direction the following year, we can "switch it again the next few years" and still successfully experience both regularly. This approach allows us to keep things feeling "new, while still having them feel familiar," striking a sustainable balance that keeps the magic alive without the logistical exhaustion.

Managing the Holiday Hustle

Laura’s advice is rooted in her own reality of a busy December, filled with "kid performances" and choir commitments. When time is limited—especially during years where holidays like Thanksgiving fall late—we must accept that we "may not make it to all our usual spots."

Ultimately, the goal of these traditions is to "make memories and have fun." If the execution of a tradition becomes a source of stress rather than joy, it defeats the purpose. When looking back on a lifetime of memories, the specific count—whether one has seen the Nutcracker 25 times or 40 times—becomes less important than the quality of the experience. By releasing the need to do everything every year, we grant ourselves the grace to "make the most of our time," ensuring that our traditions remain a source of comfort rather than a item on a never-ending to-do list.