Hey weirdos, before we unleash today's macabre mystery, we were wondering, have you ever heard of Wondery Plus?
It's like a secret passage to an ad -free lair with early access to episodes.
You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or in Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
You're listening to a Morbid Network podcast. Listening on Audible helps your imagination soar.
Whether you listen to stories, motivation, expert advice any genre you love you can be inspired to imagine new worlds new possibilities and new ways of thinking listening can lead to positive changes in your mood your habits and ultimately your overall well -being audible has an incredible selection of over 1 million audiobooks podcasts and audible originals all in one easy app find the genres you love and discover new ones explore bestsellers new releases plus thousands of included audiobooks podcasts and originals that members can listen to all they want with more added all the time.
Right now I am listening to The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix and I just cannot get enough of it.
I never want to pause it.
I'm literally like loading the dishwasher listening to it, on the treadmill listening to it, constantly.
It's so awesome. I love being able to listen anytime, anywhere I want to.
And there's more to imagine when you listen.
Sign up for a free 30 -day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free.
Visit audible .com morbid you guys I tried my mochi ice cream the other day and I was lifted off of this planet into just another galaxy entirely it is a cool creamy scoop of ice cream wrapped in a soft chewy dough it's literally like a little sweet ice cream dumpling it's pillowy soft d to the e to the l -i -c -i -o -u -s and it just feels very indulgent I loved it I tried the cookies and cream flavor and I still have the mango flavor to try.
I'm so excited to try the mango because if it's half as good as the cookies and cream, I'll probably just like fall on the floor and start crying.
Tears of joy. Mymochi is only around 70 calories per piece.
Mymochi is gluten -free and each box has six perfectly portioned mochi snacks.
And guess what? Mymochi is the original mochi ice cream.
The founder of Mymochi invented mochi ice cream.
That makes Mymochi the mochi OG.
feel joyfully chill this summer with every bite of my mochi ice cream look for the purple box of my mochi ice cream at walmart or visit mymochi .com to find a store near you hey you weirdos i'm ash and i'm elena and this is morbid It's morbid It's a special listener It's a special listener It's a special listener tales Brought to you, by you, for you, from you and all about you I'm always impressed that you remember how to say that Really?
Yeah That's not that hard Thank you And not because I think it would be hard for you It's because I think it would be hard for me I know what you really meant I knew the underlying message there I know that you were just being mean I know that you were being a fucking hoe Oh well well this is a actually like like special edition of listener like actually special it's got a theme but this one they're all special yeah this has got a theme it is the worst roommate ever edition because we got to partner with blumhouse which is really fucking cool we fucking love blumhouse yeah we've been working on like
a couple of different things with them i don't know if you guys remember um we got those like screeners for imaginary we posted those a couple months ago and now we got to get a screener for the new season of worst roommate ever it premieres globally on June 26 2024 but we got to see a little tidbit and it's so fucking good it is it's so different from other like it's not like the not that I'm like disparaging true crime shows but it's just like it's it's a unique take on yeah on like true crimey just strange unusual unsettling kind of roommate situations yes and they never go where you think
they're gonna go no because we were all sitting here watching one and i was like like all of us were like no like that's not gonna happen and then we were like oh that very much happened not only did that happen but six other things happened exactly 45 different things and the way they do it is fun because they do it it's like a mix of you know the interviews like the talking head interviews some like real footage and they also do these like animations yeah which are not hokey they're like fun animations that actually like show you what happened as they're explaining what happened yeah it's it's
a little bit different so the new season like i said it's premiering globally on june 26th and there are four new episodes 60 minutes each and you guys should really fucking go watch them because this show goes crazy it does go crazy as caleb would The show goes crazy.
I love a weekend just like cozying up on the fucking couch and watching some kind of docu -series like this.
And this is perfect.
I love a docu -series.
And four 60 -minute episodes.
Let's go. That's my day, bitch. Let's go.
That's my day, bitch. That's my day.
Oh, man. That's my weekend day.
That's my weekend. My weekend.
All right. So because we are, you know, really excited about the new season of Worst Roommate Ever, we collected some worst roommate ever listener tales from you guys.
Hell yeah. And some of them, they're not just like, you know.
Run of the mill. Physical roommates.
Some of them are roommates from beyond.
Some of them, I think there's like one in here that got thrown in here just because it mentioned roommates and I liked it.
Fair enough. What a simple reason.
Would it be our show without it being a little off?
because i liked it and the person that her and her husband or fia i can't remember we'll get to it uh her and her person yeah our our ghost fans so i think it's true that's the reason that you picked it and they seem so sweet that's the reason do you want to start let's start like do you want to i do i want to start i want to start it's like that alaska song you specifically specifically so this one is called let us see uh it's called my college experience of witchcraft and attempted murder that's different from my college experience it is a little a little bit it's a little different moderately
witchcraft and murder witchcraft was there murder was not so this one says hi ashton elena here are two tales from my whack -ass college experience the first story is very witchy and the second is very true crimey I awkwardly time myself reading it out loud and it took about 7 minutes I will shit myself with glee if this ever gets told on the show my birthday's in a few days the day after ashes this is like very recent oh shit wait so this is gonna come out on your birth month technically so happy birthday Gemini Gemini Quinn and being on a Listener Tales episode would be the greatest gift happy
birthday sister with spookiness I don't know I don't even know if I can say your name, so hold on.
Yep, you can. Yep, I can.
Hannah. Hannah. Hannah.
It says, hi, y 'all.
I'm Hannah. Feel free to use my name for this.
However, I will be changing all other names since some of the key players are complete cunt buckets and would not be pleased to hear their real names in this story.
Cunt buckets is a great insult.
Cunt buckets. Before we get into it, I need to do the obligatory gushing and tell y 'all what a bright light you are in my life.
I always... That's such a kind thing to say.
I know. That's very nice.
I'm a bodybuilder. Girl, yes.
Get it. that's cool and you've kept me company for every long cardio session heavy lift and meal of dry ass chicken and broccoli oh baby baby chicken and broccolini i always feel like i'm surrounded by friends while listening and getting a new episode feels like christmas morning every time oh okay on to the witchcraft to set the scene i was a college freshman eight hours from home at a school where i didn't know a single soul wow now i'm about to uh i'm about the least woo person i've I've ever met.
I'm a math major, and everything I do requires complete rationality and rigorous proof.
But this place is pretty spooky and seems to bring out the worst in people.
Nestled in the heart of a bustling city, it's a tiny fencing campus built in the mid -1800s.
It feels like entering a different world when you walk in.
One second you're walking across the street trying not to get hit by assholes and lifted pickup trucks blaring Blake Shelton.
Wow. The description.
and next you're staring at hogwarts -esque buildings complete with stained glass and gargoyles pretty i would live there not the first part the second part i was like this first story is of my best friend's experience getting randomly assigned a roommate who happened to be a kinky witch a kinky witch we'll call my best friend ella i love that name pretty and the roommate molly molly was a bit of a character right from the jump on day on moving day she unpacked about about a hundred crystals, numerous incenses, and witchy herbs, books on magic.
You know the vibe, which is like, that's a good vibe.
I sure do. Hell yeah.
I sure do. I love that vibe.
She also unpacked a bunch of outfits that looked like a cross between Halloween costumes and stuff you'd see in a serial killer's favorite detective magazine.
Interesting. She promptly informed Ella that she would need lots of alone time and space to film porn for Twitter.
Alright. And she says Which live your life, girl, but maybe not in a college dorm.
Keep it to your room, and I don't care.
Yeah, honestly, it's like whatever.
Keep it in your room.
Don't do it on the couch. That's not...
That's a tough accommodation, though, to have a roommate you don't know while doing that.
That's a little tough.
That is a hard accommodation.
But again, live your life.
Ella tried to be accommodating and spent as much time outside of their room as possible, but tensions quickly rose, which of course it is.
They're in college, too.
Because also I'm thinking of like when I used to go visit my friends like in their like third or fourth years of college.
Where was they? Like a house or like an apartment.
This is one room. Yeah.
This is a dorm. That's a little.
Tensions quickly rose when Ella reentered the room to Molly filming titties flying in the wind in a maid costume with clamps on her nips.
Go crazy. I mean, girl, get it.
That's a bonding experience.
I was just going to say, honestly, I'd be like, did we just become best friends?
because like i don't know how we go any further than that i'd be like i think you should change your part put these shoes on and it will up the views and then just be like carry on and then just leave do you want a coffee just step out goodbye it's like amy poehler and me you guys need anything some snacks a condom oh god love you god love you keep me young i love you so much and then just leave bye uh things finally but you know what it is i have no idea what happens here but I'm just saying like I feel like this is one of those things where she's like okay this is what I do and you have to sit
down and you just set boundaries for each other or honestly make a schedule yeah definitely boundaries set some boundaries also boundaries set some schedules yeah and it could work talk it through you know talk it all through really get it out in the open communication is key that's the thing with this kind of thing and my whole motto is like live and let live so I'm like yeah sure like do your kinky witch shit that's fucking awesome but like that's how I feel do it between the hours of 10 and 12 so that i can exactly so i can just have something else to do yeah during that time right you know
like i respect your your need to do that as i growing in in life i think you get to a point where you're just like just let people do yeah shit that makes them happy it's 100 % hurting you and it's like so you know but this is a difficult situation like it's not it's not like i've ever been in this situation and i can't tell you how i would totally react but you know i feel like this could have gone smoother yeah we'll see um things finally boiled over when molly left a handful of sex toys and a tupperware of murky water in the microwave i understand why that would be deeply upsetting this is where boundaries
go if you're gonna put your sex toys in the microwave you know what go for it baby not the microwave that we share not my microwave no way not now not never not that's that's some kind of horrific thing waiting to happen this is what we call a boundary cross okay you've crossed that boundary that i didn't think i had to put in place to be quite honest that's not okay i didn't think that was what i had to clearly state um and ella got the ra to kick her out of the room oh she's a witch baby yeah as she packed up she informed ella that that she had hexed her and should expect unfortunate events to
come her way. Cool of her to be upfront about it.
But also not cool because I'm like, you're hexing someone?
I'm very kidding. That's not good witch behavior.
But you know what? Cool of her to say, cool of her to beat your tubs.
She's like, just letting you know when shit falls apart.
That was me, girl. Yeah, it's fine.
No, this is bad. This is getting bad really fast. This is not going to be great.
Within the first week of Freedom from Molly, Ella contracted the rona.
Oh, no. Oh, no. She didn't attribute this to the heck since it was 2021 and getting sick at college seemed inevitable.
True. However, she quickly declined to the point of needing hospitalization and was nearly put on a ventilator.
Oh, my God. Mind you, Ella was a champion cross -country runner in perfect health with no pre -existing conditions.
Holy shit. As soon as Ella recovered and returned to school, she tore her ACL just walking.
What? Just walking.
Holy shit. The doctors couldn't explain how it happened.
she hadn't even fallen thank god while recovering from surgery ella fell down the stairs and suffered a brain bleed what i can't even name all of the misfortunes that have befallen her since the initial hexing ella has also become deaf in one ear needed surgery on her other leg had multiple cardiac events and more this got so real so fast oh my god i don't know what that bitch and her herbs were up to other than sexy nurse role play, but I seriously can't explain how Ella's health could decline so quickly and in so many ways.
Moral of the story, if your sexually and spiritually adventurous roommate leaves sex toys in the microwave, don't fucks with them.
Just get a new microwave. Just don't fucks with that.
Get your own microwave. I hope Ella's okay.
I know, jeez. And honestly, I'm of the mindset, but whatever you get back, whatever you put out comes back three times three.
And I'm not saying like, I'm saying everything that's happening to Ella, like if that is the roommate that is causing all that to happen, it's coming back.
Yeah, I believe in karma.
I don't do hex magic.
No way. Now, I have one more story from the depths of my personal hell, aka freshman year.
So without further ado, here's the time my roommate confessed to a heinous crime, a heinous crime to me, and then possibly tried to kill me.
Oh, great. One Friday night, I opened my bathroom door to find my roommate, let's call her Sophie, sobbing pantsless in the bathtub with a mostly empty bottle of pink whitney next to her i don't even know what that is pink whitney yeah it's like i am like a pink lemonade kind of alcohol oh no it's incredible oh i just i don't know that i would feel that same way now i'm 28 years old but back in the day so sweet it is i used to love pink whitney i've never even heard of that that's wild really never seen that huh that's fun that's crazy do you not like like lemonade no i do but just i don't like
like sweet alcohol oh okay like that is not are you like a take my worst kind of girl that's exactly could never be me baby it's that i like uh if because i'm not a i'm not really a drinker anyways yeah um i just don't general and it's just because i genuinely don't enjoy the taste of alcohol yeah i just don't uh or the feeling of it after i get a headache i heard that um but if i do if i was going to drink something i wouldn't now because i think it would literally put me on my ass yeah i like a dirty martini because i like an olivey damn like i like that savory a dirty martini will literally
fuck me right it would kill me yeah i think i'd be gone like i would take three sips and probably be like whoop i'm out i did martinis on the cruise of my mother but when I was like younger oh I'm that was last year for me and I was feeling woozy oozy I'm like I'm like fucking Rupert Giles of of teenage drinking over here with a dirty martini I love it I just picture like a 19 year old you with a just sipping on a fucking scotch or twirling your dirty martini I mean I was just reckless and did shots of fireball and then like fell downstairs.
I was, it was a lot.
But yeah, I'm not, I'm definitely not a super sweet alcohol person.
Yeah. Pink Whitney was fucking good.
You know what time it is?
It's time for a fresh approach to dog food.
And that's where The Farmer's Dog comes in.
Developed by board certified nutritionists, which is pretty Pretty impressive.
The Farmer's Dog is human -grade dog food that's made with real meat and veggies and gently cooked to preserve those nutrients.
Traditional pet food is highly processed and difficult to portion correctly, but the Farmer's Dog, it's changed that with their freshly made food.
They take the guesswork out of serving sizes by precisely portioning your dog's food based on their very unique nutritional needs.
Sydney and Blanche are eating the Farmer's Dog Right now, and we absolutely love it.
What's really fun is each packet has their name on it.
So it says Blanche's food, Sydney's food, which is just fun.
They love it. They can't read, but I kind of pretend that they do.
Maybe they can. Maybe they can.
Who am I to say? Get 50 % off your first box of fresh, healthy food at thefarmersdog .com slash morbid.
Plus, you get free shipping.
Just go to thefarmersdog .com slash morbid to get 50 % off.
That's thefarmersdog .com slash morbid.
morbid. Smallwoodhome .com turns your favorite photos into gallery quality framed prints or wrapped canvases, all handcrafted in the USA, shipped in days and priced to make your whole smile.
It's nice to have something on the wall that's not just designy, but it's personal.
They sell custom framed prints that are made just for you.
Pick your favorite photo and they're going to turn it into a beautifully framed piece, handcrafted with care.
Every single piece is made to order, so there's no assembly lines or robots involved.
And you can choose from natural wood finishes for the frames, like stained, almond, black, or white.
And if you want a little more, you can even add an acrylic front for a little polished touch. I love that option.
There are also more than just frames.
Wrapped canvas options give you even more ways to elegantly customize your space.
It's big style without the big price.
They are high -quality prints that bring warmth and personality to your home, but it's not going to break the bank.
And there's a fast turnaround, which I absolutely love.
These prints are made to order in just a few days and are shipped straight to your door.
Right now, get 30 % off when you use code morbid at smallwoodhome .com.
That's promo code morbid to get 30 % off your first order at smallwoodhome .com.
Give your memories the showcase that they deserve.
But it says, my first thought was, yeah, this seems pretty college.
it does so I tried to back away slowly as if confronted by a wild animal I figured if she was Winnie the Poohing it drunk in the bathtub she probably wanted to be left alone but before I could shut the door she called my name I'd be like fuck a contraire even though I had an uneasy feeling and my gut was telling me as ash would say my uber was there me and my half -baked prefrontal cortex reluctantly got closer and perched on the edge of the bathtub then she said something I'll never be able to scrub from my brain I won't get into the details because it would require about 10 different trigger
warnings but it was heinous enough to make me nauseous and should have landed her in prison after spilling her rancid asparagus piss flavored guts to me she had the audacity to ask you don't think I'm a bad person right now this is the part of the story where looking back I'm screaming at myself to just appease her and figure out what to do later but in that moment I let out an involuntary uncomfortable laugh and said what the fuck Sophie and then I just left oh no my abject shock and horror certainly gave her the impression that I probably wasn't going to stay quiet what did she admit to you
can we get a post I know I'm dying to know we'll leave it to ourselves before we get what to what she did next I do want to to say that figuring out what to do with this information was probably the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
I hate that it was put on you.
Yeah, that's a lot.
Like you did not. I knew the victim and I reached out to them to offer support.
I told them that I'd be more than willing to testify at any kind of trial, but they informed me that they wouldn't be reporting the crime or pressing charges.
They just wanted to move on and try to forget about what had happened.
Oh, God. If I reported it, I would be forcing them to relive the events of that night against their will.
And I couldn't do that to them.
I think that is Yeah, this is a very difficult decision.
I think you made the best decision you could have in that moment.
Yeah, I agree. Instead, I anonymously reported her to campus police force so she would at least be on their radar.
That was smart. Yeah.
I still grapple with this decision and hope I did enough.
It sounds like you did.
Now, back to the story.
A few tense days passed where I could feel her watching my every move.
I assumed that she would eventually chill out since nobody came knocking down our door to arrest her, but I was very, very wrong.
The next Saturday, I absentmindedly told her I'd be out with my boyfriend for a few hours and she told me she was going to do some cleaning I returned that afternoon and opened the door to our room like I had a million times before note that these doors are heavy and slam behind you as soon as you let go of them and ours had a janky handle that made it hard to reopen as soon as I opened the door I was assaulted by the harshest chemical smell that I have ever graced my nostrils I was it was like dunking my head in a mop bucket from Chernobyl Jesus damn you're a really good writer I like I like
your metaphors. I managed to catch the door before it shut behind me and stepped back into the hallway coughing.
I propped the door open with my bag to let the room air out and then noped the fuck out of the building.
After getting about an hour of fresh air and calling my boyfriend, we donned masks and went back in to investigate.
The smell was still painfully strong, but we were able to survey the room for a minute before it was too much to bear.
The door to our bathroom was locked.
The windows were shut and latched.
There were empty bottles scattered across the floor or bleach, window cleaner, nail polish remover, rubbing alcohol, and more.
The fuck? She making like mustard gas?
Yeah, what the fuck?
I hadn't yet told my boyfriend about Sophie's confession, but I figured now was a good time to explain the situation.
After giving him a brief overview without the gnarly details, he told me to call the campus police immediately.
The campus police got me moved out of that room and into a new one the same day.
I was asked if she had any reason to try to harm me, and I held my tongue since I didn't want to mention the victim's name.
Instead, I told them that there was some drama between us, which was the understatement of the century.
They were at the door to intercept Sophie when she returned that night.
She innocently told them that she was just cleaning and her poor blonde self didn't know that mixing chemicals was dangerous.
Oh, God. In fact, she said it was my fault for spilling a milkshake on the floor and leaving it for her to clean up.
This is a strange explanation for two reasons.
One, I pride myself on being a very clean person and would never leave a mess for someone else.
Two, I'm a bodybuilder on a meal plan that most certainly and unfortunately doesn't have any room for milkshakes.
However, the campus police chalked the whole situation up to teenage girl drama and sent us on our separate ways.
Yeah, that checks. Weeks later, I filed a no contact order against her, which prompted the campus police to call us in for separate interviews.
She was asked to turn over her phone, which the brazen bitch did voluntarily.
I guess she thought it was just a formality and they wouldn't actually look at anything.
In a private tab that was still open, she had searched, what happens when you mix acetone and bleach?
The fuck? She claimed that she had searched this after the fact to try to figure out what had happened, but I'm fairly certain the crafty cunt looked it up before to ensure she made something dangerous.
Either way, the campus police are about as useless as the LAPD, and Warda has invested enough to question her explanation.
At the end of the day, I got my no contact order and she got to continue living her life without any consequences.
I hope karma is real and one day people see her for the wet sock she is.
That's a great way to describe someone.
Well, that's all I have for you, lovely ladies.
Keep it weird, but not so weird that you take it away, Ash.
Not so weird that you leave your sex toys in a microwave for another person and hex them with all these life -altering problems. And not so weird that you create mustard gas in your dorm room to try to kill your dorm mate when she can't even have a milkshake.
Yeah. That's not fair.
Much love, Hannah, it says.
Thanks, Hannah. That was fucking wild and insane.
Hannah's absolutely stunning literally gorge absolutely stunning um and so is your baby child Arlo I love your baby child baby child um and is this you and your person because you're both beautiful together wait hold on oh yeah it is you're gorgeous and you're hilarious and you're a great writer Hannah you really are and happy birth month when you said something yeah happy happy birth month.
When you said something about asparagus piss, I was like, I have to go now.
Rancid asparagus, pissed, scented guts.
Essentially like that's everything.
Everything in the world.
Everything. All right.
My next one is myopic spooky dookie listener tale.
Spooky dookie. Listener tale.
Let me see. I can't say your name.
It says, hello weirdos.
My name is Sam. My wife turned me on to you guys and I'm now an avid listener.
I own a construction company Firefighter.
Look at you. So a hero.
Let's just say people who get into my truck often look at me sideways when they see me giggling to you guys talking about bad bitch vibe, Ben.
Or no, no, no. Bad bitches, vibes, Gemini season, etc. That's me.
That's actually me.
You're welcome, Sam.
We hail from the land of wawa, hoagies, and cheesesteaks, Philadelphia.
Oh, damn. That That sounds great.
Though I do have a strong connection to New Englanders.
My maternal grandmother's family were the bunkers of Bunker Hill fame.
Oh, shit. Damn. Damn, Sam.
That's crazy. I'm going to start saying that to everyone not even named Sam.
Consider that my new catchphrase.
I love that. Damn, Sam.
him fun fact the famous battle actually happened on nearby breeds hill additionally my great grandmother lived in bruster out on the cape and a house that we still have oh my god and this is where i've spent every ounce of my free time ever since i can normally be found on cape cod and my little boston whaler chasing stripers and pulling spider crabs out of my lobster pots that's the most new england shit i've ever heard i love that you should just you should just stay here that That was the most, you are in New England.
What are you doing in Philadelphia?
They do have good cheesesteaks.
Get out of there. And I heard hoagies are like incredible.
Get out of there. Yeah, but come on.
Now, with that out of the way, here's my listener tale.
I grew up in an old farmhouse outside of Philly, built sometime around 1740.
It was a pretty cool place to live, especially for a nerdy kid obsessed with all things historical.
Emphasis on the nerdy, Harry Potter style glasses, ill -fitting clothing, the works.
The house was steeped in urban legends, which included the lady of the house launching her dinner at a British officer during the Revolution, a stop on the Underground Railroad, and a storage place for bootleggers during Prohibition.
Holy shit. The last one we know is true.
We met the bootlegger.
Oh. But there was one problem with the house.
We had to share it.
Oh. There were three bedrooms in our house, my parents and my little sister on one side of the second floor, and I was down the hall on the other side.
Not a huge distance, but I was certainly a bit on my own.
I don't know how old I was when I started noticing things happening, but I was pretty young.
And by the time I was in elementary school, I knew I was the main target of something.
One could always hear footsteps throughout the house, which my parents chalked up to the house being old.
I think not. I think not.
I think not. To ease my anxiety, my parents would let me keep the nearby bathroom light on as sort of a nightlight.
In hindsight, this was a fucking horrible idea.
human shadows would frequently walk by my room only visible because of the yellow light cascading out of the bathroom this wouldn't be a problem if they if they were attached to an actual fucking human oof they would always appear to be walking into the bathroom but i never remember seeing them leave i get the feeling i was haunted by someone with ibs did these ghosts have ibs were they preparing for a colonoscopy or was there a portal in your bathroom the toilet's actually a portal no doors would open at random and the footsteps always seemed to lead to and end in my room oh to add insult to
injury it seemed as though i was the only one experiencing these events so every event was chalked up to a draft or my overactive imagination oh that sucks that really does one event really stands out in my mind little nerdy sam was in the bathtub minding his own little nerdy business the rest of the fam was downstairs getting dinner ready or something at this point i'm washing my hair or my more likely seeing how long i can hold my breath underwater so my glasses are set to the side of the tub let's just say i'm fairly blind and vault in an in a vulnerable state at this moment i hear the door latch
and the fucking door swings open my blind ass shoots up to see who just interrupted my sacred tubby time and no one is standing there i know i wasn't being pranked because this is a house in which which no one can sneak around without being heard. I learned this as a teenager trying to sneak out, but I digress.
At this point, I just dropped a myopic spooky dookie right there in the tub.
My blood runs cold and I'm frozen.
What do I do? Do I jump up and yeet right the fuck out of there?
No, I'll be forced to run by whatever it was that interrupted my formerly peaceful tub time.
It was at this moment I knew I had to summon all my courage to do what needed to be done.
i filled my lungs and pitifully called mom yeah i did what needed to be done yeah i wasn't very brave in that moment but hey i was like six or seven years old you're a baby naked and definitely in no condition to be taking on any supernatural juggaloos this is great mom came and the cold seemed to leave the room spooky dookie crisis averted i moved to showers feeling i was a bit less vulnerable i moved to showers that's so sad that was your last time i know the shadows footsteps and occasional moving door continued for a few more years needless to say i was afraid of the dark a little longer than i
should have interesting when i was around 10 my parents put an addition on the house uh -oh uh -oh renovations renovations this moved their room closer to me and when they moved into their new room most of the spooky events at night stopped you could still hear weird noises throughout the house and you could certainly get the feeling of being watched on occasion not a pleasant feeling when you're trying your best to pull off some netflix and chill while i was still living at home i had a few friends get creeped out and leave while alone for any period of time in the house fast forward about a decade
and my parents were having some masonry work done out back in walks this strange guy who looks like something out of a movie cowboy hat shaggy hair full of beads wasn't sure if he was going to build something out of rocks or hold some kind of ceremony as it turns out it was kind of the latter wow didn't see that coming neither as we got to talking he made mention he married the daughter of a native medicine man and was somewhat knowledgeable of the supernatural.
He said he often used diving rods to locate water and to communicate with the other side, quote -unquote.
My dad, ever the skeptic, challenged him to find the original well on the property, which he did without a problem.
Oh, damn. He then asked if we had had any supernatural happenings.
I chimed in with my experiences, and all of a sudden my parents chimed in with a few of their own.
Oh! Apparently, when they first bought the house, it was in total disrepair, and they set out to renovate.
Never a good idea in a haunted house.
On one occasion, they put up some what I'm assuming to be incredibly tacky wallpaper in the kitchen as people did in the 1980s.
Upon returning, they found all the new wallpaper on the ground and it appeared to have aged by years.
I love that the ghosts were like, no. Heinous.
No. Ew. Clearly, these ghosties have some taste and they said, not in my motherfucking house.
Another event happened shortly after they installed a new boiler in the basement.
and for no reason it ruptured and flooded the old basement.
I suppose in this case they were envious of hot water and indoor heating.
Probably. Another brief side note.
This basement ceiling is completely charred from a fire in the 1800s.
Still structurally sound but very creepy to look at.
Especially with the old root cellar as a backdrop.
Oh, that's so spooky.
Hey there, my weird weirdos.
I want to take a minute to recommend another podcast called Who Took Misty Copsey?
In September of 1992, 14 -year -old Misty Copsey leaves the Washington State Fair with her best friend and is never seen again.
Her body is never found.
At the time, Western Washington is home to prolific serial killers like the Green River Killer, which leads to different theories on who's responsible for what happened to Misty.
Over the course of eight episodes, host and cold case investigator Sarah Kalin speaks with Misty's friends and family, looks at police records, and different anonymous tips to try to figure out if Misty's disappearance is the work of a serial killer or someone who knew her.
No suspects are ruled out.
After 33 years, Sarah Kalin hopes to answer the question, who took Misty?
You guys are going to love this.
If you listen to Morbid, we know that you love a cold case, and we always tell you a cold case is never cold, So definitely give this a listen.
Definitely look into the case.
Listen to Who Took Misty Copsie wherever you get your podcasts.
Summer is in full swing.
Whether you're traveling, taking kids to summer camp, or heading to the pool, we are all looking for ways to stay healthy and save money this summer.
With GoToRex, you can save up to 80 % on prescriptions for you and your family.
Pets too. Check GoToRex before every single trip to the pharmacy for big savings on both brand and generic medications.
GoodRx is free and it's easy to use.
Just search for your prescription on the website or the app, compare prices, and get a free coupon to show your pharmacist. Use GoodRx to save at over 70 ,000 local pharmacies nationwide, including Walmart, Walgreens, CBS, Publix, Kroger, and many more.
And now you can enroll in GoodRx rewards and earn points every time that you use a coupon at the pharmacy.
Remember, GoodRx is not insurance, but it works whether you have insurance or not, and it could even beat your insurance co -pay price.
Today, I saved $5 on a prescription for my grandpa because I pulled up the GoodRx app, and I said, look at this.
So, you could save too.
Save at the pharmacy this summer with GoodRx.
Go to GoodRx .com slash morbid.
That's GoodRx .com slash morbid.
Looping back to our shaggy white in -law to a native medicine man, He decides he wants to look around and see if he can communicate with these potential spirits.
He starts shouting out instructions to our spectral roommates as to how they will be communicating.
His little metal rod started moving with the questions he was asking.
We soon deduced that we had two spirits living with us, a man and a woman with no relation to each other.
They were not malevolent by any stretch, but they do have a seriously mischievous side.
I kind of love that.
They fessed up to the wallpaper incident 25 years prior.
Then, as soon as it started, the rod stopped moving.
I guess ghosts don't like playing 20 questions.
Who does? Say what you will about Medicine Man or their in -laws or diving rods or whatever.
Something was there.
You could tell by how they moved.
It wasn't like they just drifted together.
There was something purposeful about it.
Now I'm out on my own with my own beautiful family in my own house, sans spooky roommates.
I married a very beautiful woman.
Nerds really do win in the end.
They really do, Sam.
My mom is now selling the old house and I wonder what the next stewards of the house will experience from the mischievous duo that reside in the old halls.
As long as they don't add any wallpaper, they should be fine.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my long -winded version of my experiences in my childhood home.
Sincerely, a much larger but still nerdy Sam, who has since discovered contacts, fitting clothing, and hair product.
P .S. Sorry the whole story doesn't revolve around a nearsighted scary poop.
I just needed a good attention grabber.
P .S .S. Still riding high on Super Bowl 52.
41 -33, suck it, Tom Brady.
Big dick Nick forever.
ever. I'm Philadelphia.
Of course, I'm an obnoxious football fan.
Philadelphians are obnoxious sports fans.
Are they really? I didn't know that.
Not knocking you, because we are also obnoxious sports fans, but Philadelphia's got us beat, I think.
I'm obsessed with that story.
Sam, I love you, and I love that you married a beautiful woman, and that you have a family of your own.
I love your IBS ghosts.
I love your IBS ghosts.
I love that they had taste and said, fuck this wallpaper.
paper i just really love that it's great that's great it's great you're wonderful sam fantastic so this one's called the roommate from actual hell and a human sacrifice whoa just a little bit of everything wowzers hold on i'm going to copy and paste this into place where i can uh zoom in because you're because mama needs new glasses but retweet and i just haven't made an eye appointment do you re -x now instead of retweet i had no idea what you were just asking me at first i was like what i know i don't do any of it yeah i don't do any of that either so you know that's that's where we are because fuck
that shit yeah uh hey ash and elena i love the shit out of you guys i love your damn podcast and seriously laugh myself shitless on a daily basis during this weird ass limbo we call quarantine and social distancing oh wow this is from years ago oh yeah i wander around and walk my doggo jacks listening to you guys and chuckling the whole way probably terrifying everyone around me who couldn't figure out I have Bluetooth headphones in into thinking I'm clinically insane.
To be fair I do talk more to my dog than I do other humans these days so who's to say that that's not true.
My name is Lizzie and you can use my name and any name I throw in here because I've already gone and changed the names I need to.
Thank you for doing the lord's work.
I know that's really great of you.
Disclaimer I'm a long -winded broad so this email is a lengthy one.
Sorry not sorry. I love when people refer to to themselves and just in general when people refer to other people as broads oh i love the term broad it's great it's so gritty broad who's this broad it feels but yeah it feels very gritty i especially love calling the girls broads oh yeah i love that it's funny come on you broads little broads uh i also love that my dad calls my mom toots a lot in like the most endearing way i love it so much he's like all right let's go and he always has it's so cute because that's not Not like a typical pet name, I feel.
It's a very, like, of his time pet name.
It's either Toots or Calf.
Come on, Toots. Oh, I love it.
So anywho, I have a fun, spoopy story that's a whole hell of a lot funnier now than it was when it happened.
But first, just a fun little fact.
I was listening to one of the listener tales earlier today, and someone mentioned they love Matthew Gray Gubbler.
Is it Goobler? Yeah.
I always say it wrong.
I do, too. And fun fact, I know his family super well.
Well, like his character, Spencer Reed, he grew up in Vegas like me and his family went to the same church my family did.
Whoa. Well, I've only ever seen him once or twice when I was young.
My older sister, I shit you not, went on a few dates with his younger brother.
And now that I'm older and have literally binge -watched Criminal Minds multiple times, I'm really pissed my dumbass sister didn't marry his brother so that I could have kind of been related to him.
Boo, that whore. Also, his sister -in -law and his mom were frequently in charge of watching the children in church. So when I was young, I got to know them really well.
Isn't that such a fun fact?
Yeah. I love him. So on to my crazy ass story.
You know how when you first go to college, one typically rooms in the freshman dorms and you have no idea who your roommates are going to be?
If they're going to be psychos or try to strangle you in your sleep?
Yeah. My 18 -year -old self was hella worried about that because I had just found out my best friend since fourth damn grade, who had planned with me for years to go to the same school, just told me she wasn't going to go to college with me because that shit's expensive.
I didn't blame her, but we were going to be roomies and I was hella bummed that she wouldn't be with me.
And also terrified I was going to have a crazy ass roommate who like dealt drugs out of the apartment or something.
That's a fair concern.
Which like you don't know what you're walking into.
Yeah, that's that's a lot.
So it's a legit concern of who you're going to be living with.
That's overwhelming.
Well, it turns out I had nothing to worry about.
All my roommates were wonderful and we became best friends forever.
The end. Haha. Just kidding.
First year, I actually did luck out and had great roommates except for that one dumbass shithead who has never had to be literally and do anything for herself ever and couldn't figure out how to do the most basic adult things like how microwaves work or how to melt butter like no joke she almost blew up the apartment putting an entire ass metal pan in the microwave and pressing start that's all in parentheses I love that I hope you're not listening but my little sister at like I hope you're listening she had to be like 12 13 maybe 14 and put metal into the microwave and we all were like are you
fucking kidding wow is this a joke are you are you all right she's like i didn't know the answer is nor nor love you so other than her they rocked we had a good time and the girl i shared a room with became really close to me this is important to the rest of the story the girl i I roomed with Mandy wanted to live with me and another girl from our apartment, Anna, the following semester.
We decided to move off campus and find a new place to live because that shit's also expensive.
But Anna and Mandy found this place way far away from campus, which was fine for them because they had cars, but my fat ass didn't want to have to walk or bike that shit.
So I found a different apartment closer to campus and moved there with a friend I'd met in school and moved in with four other roommates, six people total, one fridge.
Like who the hell thought that was a good idea?
That sounds horrible.
terrible in the end anna had to back out of living with mandy due to financial reasons and mandy was left with three new roommates who ended up being total shit stains who were awful to her and gave her crazy anxiety i'm sorry i know so she ended up basically living on my couch and becoming our seventh roommate holy shit okay backstory over sorry i'm long -winded as fuck and don't know how to make things short and sweet i am who i am i am also papi uh so in this new apartment we were a a mix of one freshman four sophomores one senior and a sophomore stray we let take over our living room aka mandy
i shared a room with my friend casey and the only other girl you need to know the name of is the senior stephanie she mostly kept to herself she was an english major just trying to graduate although none of us were ever sure if she was actually attending her classes because we never saw that broad leave her room like broad she was just always there i don't know Maybe she was some Hogwarts reject witch who had figured out how to apparate to and fro.
But this hoe never seemed to leave. But, like, you also never knew if she was home.
Her door was always closed.
And you could be home for hours and be pretty damn convinced you were the only one home.
And then this bitch would just waltz out of her room whistling some weird -ass tune, rummage through the fridge, and then mosey on back inside, not to be heard from again until, like, three days later.
Up until this point, great fucking roommate.
that was great ideal also this hoe never washed her dishes and that's where you lose me and that's where you lose me and one time I knocked on her door to invite her to come play games with us and her room was hella disgusting there was shit everywhere and who knows maybe a dead body buried under the mountain of dirty laundry you'd never be able to tell eww eventually we learned to leave Stephanie alone because she was always grumpy and weird as hell for the first few weeks this worked out fine but one day the other five and a half roommates and I we always joked that Mandy was only half roommate
we're just chilling in the living room getting to know each other better and stuff when we heard the most haunting ass moan just come out of her room that's it just the moon we all just looked at each other not sure what i just pictured you all just like laughing joking with each other you're just like oh my god and everybody just stops and just stares in silence then we heard it again my dumb ass was just about to ask if we should go ask if she was okay When straight up shit hit the fan Or the wall Because this bitch was throwing books and shit Against her goddamn wall And yelling like someone
had just come in And stabbed her in the chesticles We all froze in fear and straight up all I love that you guys just dipped You're like, you know, it sounds like she's going through it She should have that alone time Sounds like she's dying We should dip We should dip the hell out of here She says, our Uber was there yesterday it i mean if she was already kind of sketch i'd be like you know what that's for you things like this started happening on the reg her having a complete meltdown and throwing stuff happened at least once a week and when she did emerge from her lair she would often be mumbling
to herself and we would occasionally hear maniacal laughter coming from behind her closed door that'd be so scary i'm still not convinced that she wasn't possessed by satan himself although satan probs would have been way more pleasant to hang out with than her and let's be honest we would have have had way more fun if he was right i love you now remember our half roommate half adopted stray mandy who sleeps on the couch because of her no good waste of space dumbass roommates well she probably had the spookiest experiment experience with good old steph so one night i was in my room blissfully
dreaming about gerard butler or some other dreamy ass man who knows what i was actually dreaming about but you know he's dreamy as hell and all of a sudden mandy comes bursting into my in my room, waking up Casey and I, locks the door, turns on the light, and is whiter than my thighs after winter.
She looks me dead in the eyes and says she was sleeping with me.
Apparently, she had stayed up late, chilling on the couch and reading a book on her Kindle, when she heard Stephanie's door open.
She quickly turned her Kindle off and pretended to be asleep, because no one wants to deal with Steph's crazy ass.
And she heard Stephanie walk into the kitchen slowly while quietly singing the creepiest ass lullaby.
I don't remember the exact words now, but it definitely had to do with death and demons.
I don't think it was a real lullaby but she sure as hell was singing it like one she's like it was about death and demons so i don't think it was like a real lullaby you would sing to your kids who knows to be honest lullabies are fucking weird once she reached the kitchen mandy cracked her eyes open and could see by the light of the moon that stephanie had walked into the middle of the kitchen and then just stopped and stood there for five whole ass minutes five minutes is a long time i shit you not you guys just stood there like a psychopath staring into the void and then she turned around and walked
her spooky ass towards mandy she's slowly for some reason i think calling people spooky is the funniest shit like when somebody's like that person's spooky i think it's so funny it makes me think of katie maloney from calling joe spooky it's just like such a it's a read it's a read it is so she slowly crept towards her came right up on the couch and to the couch and stared straight down at Mandy with her greasy ass hair hanging around her face like the grudge herself just dragged her nasty ass out of the TV to get her next victim.
Mandy tried not to scream.
She said she was pretty sure she stopped breathing.
After a full ass terror inspiring minute, Stephanie looked at her terror filled face and whispers, trick or treat.
Can you fucking imagine?
There's an important thing here.
It was mid -November.
I don't care if it was October, November, December, January, February, March, April, May, June, or July, August or September.
I would be, I would, I don't know.
I don't know about that.
That's so scary. It's giving, is Tamra home?
It absolutely is giving Tamra home.
That was one of my best. I'd just like you to acknowledge that.
That was a good one.
That was a good one.
then she laughed maniacally and sauntered back to her room just like hello and then she said i shit you not i cannot make this show mandy waited 15 whole seconds before sprinting like hell to our room locking herself in and then spending the rest of the night crammed into my twin -sized bed with me and i don't blame her me either she slept with me for the next week but sharing a twid bed is literally the worst thing ever and i toss and turn so after a week of this i told her that i loved loved her and would do almost anything for her but i could not keep sharing that small last bed she's like i
would do anything for love but i won't but i won't share my bed so we kicked her back to the living room couch informed all the other roommates of this absolutely terrifying story and decided that we would all be locking our doors from now on so you're just leaving mandy in the middle and locking all your doors yep damn and that if stephanie and were to ever ever go batshit crazy mandy would just have to be the unfortunate human sacrifice that would appease the monster hashtag best friends forever best friends forever his best friendship story of my roommate from hell and how mandy almost became
a human sacrifice trick or treat i ended up moving out the next semester and mandy moved into my room i don't know why the hell she still wanted wanted to be there but at least now she has a door she can lock and i never had to deal with stephanie the crazy ass spooky and deranged as hell psycho ever again mandy lived to tell the tale and is now happily married to a normal ass man and is expecting her first baby so yay mandy congrats thanks so much for reading i love you guys in your damn podcast i love that you keep referring to it as your damn podcast we should we should work that in somehow
we should and this is is our damn podcast morbid our damn podcast i like it i like that i hope you enjoyed this story and i hope you keep it weird but not so weird that you go to college and don't know anyone and then don't know how to do shit for yourself and try to put a whole ass metal pan in the microwave and then have shitty roommates so you have to sleep on a couch and have a psych crazy psycho ass roommate who never cleans and throws things in a room and laughs maniacally and is spooky as hell and whistles and sings creepy ass lullabies and then stalks towards you in the middle of the night with her
grudge -ass self and whispers, trick -or -treat, just not that weird. I love just not that weird. Just not that weird. Even weird, just not that fucking weird. That was phenomenal.
So good. So good. Oh my god.
Lizzie, you rule, and I'm glad you live to tell that tale because I appreciated it.
That's so funny. Happy Egg believes in spreading happiness through the simple pleasure of high quality and delicious eggs.
And when I say delicious, I am not joking you.
Their eggs are the highest quality eggs that have ever, ever come into existence in my opinion.
Their free -range farming standards, working with small family -owned farms to raise their happy hens outside on a pasture, coupled with the care and treatment that their hens receive, lead to tasty, tasty, ridiculously tasty, yummy orange yolks that are rich and full of flavor.
Happy Egg Hens spend their days outside and they're better for that.
They have those deep orange yolks that just look incredible.
If you're like a, you know, you want to put that on your food Insta, that's the kind of egg you want on your Insta.
And you want that egg in your body as well because it just tastes so yummy, yummy, yummy.
Taste the difference and look for that yellow carton at the store near you.
Visit happyegg .com slash morbid to find a store near you all right my next listener tale is called close call with death oh jesus close call with death i got you that was so metal i know it's like the mini morbid theme all right hello weirdos after close call with death i feel so unhinged today that was like that's like that meme with like the pink house and the black house next to you hello weirdos this is close call with death we also are the human version of that like even right now all right my niece turned me on to your podcast and i'm officially addicted i've listened to every episode sometimes
twice and i'm now going through all the spooky but hilarious listener tales thank you after listening to a few i've decided to be brave and share my own close call with death.
Ooh, brave. Ooh, so brave. I have learned that fresh air is for dead people, the woods are for dead people, and sometimes roommates are for dead people.
If you read this on the air, I'm not a writer, so please bear with me and edit as necessary.
No. You're great. You're awesome, Tiffany.
To start, my name is Tiffany, and I made that up.
I live in Southern California, that area, where everything costs three times as much as anywhere else, but the weather's perfect.
Insert eye roll here.
Perfect for some Perfect My spooky tale begins when I was 18 years old And decided it would be more fun to move out to an apartment Where two of my two guy acquaintances lived Instead of going to college I was done with teachers and being told what to do So I was going to prove my independence And forge my own way Now, I was not just your regular, run -of -the -mill Young adult living the good life I was a rebellious little shit Who, fast forward 30 years, has her own young adult little shits Karma is a bitch I was living in a ratty two -bedroom apartment In the next town over with these two guys
that I knew that I kind of knew from high school let's call them James and Bill oh I don't really remember Bill too well but James was great he was easygoing fun looked like the typical SoCal surfer we spent our time and money on drinking drugs hanging out and accomplished absolutely nothing in the couple months that I was there we were living the dream there was a time when we spent all of our money on fun quote -unquote and we had to literally exist on pinto beans for an entire month that's some real shit right there literally and lord help anyone whoever came over that month my mom wouldn't
have approved but what you don't know won't kill you even though my new roommates were great i didn't know them all that well and slept with a stun gun in case some creepo came creeping in my room i'd make sure they got a real shock hell yeah that's that's bad get him well one dark night with the usual crowd over at the apartment and after smoking a little weed drinking a few beers and feeling pretty good in general i went into my room and was followed by What the fuck?
I cannot begin to tell you the look on my face.
Part shock, part disbelief.
part yeah right asshole disclaimer my friend dave was not an innocent guy he sold products on a cash only basis if you catch my drift if you catch my drift if you know what i'm saying so he always had a lot of cash with him but surely he didn't deserve to be murdered holy shit at first my jaw hanged hung to the floor as i processed this information and stared at mike as if to catch the starting of a smile and realize i was being punked needless to say i didn't get the reassurance i needed and it sunk in that he was giving me a warning and was possibly trying to save my life my friend dave was supposed
to be coming over any minute that night so i frantically threw some clothes in a bag grabbed my stun gun and pieced right on out of there as fast as my feet could carry me i ran into dave as he was pulling up to the to the apartment i jumped in the truck and just screamed at him gun it now mike might have just been trying to scare me in my vulnerable drug drug -induced state or maybe he was being a douchebag but it got my attention and i moved out and didn't look back holy shit thankfully no one got murdered at that apartment and i decided maybe the straight and narrow path was a better fit for me
just shook you right into that i love it well now is where it gets interesting fast forward and several years later a husband and three kids later i decided to look up some random people on the computer to pass the time after all i had three kids and i needed a mind -numbing activity i went down a few rabbit holes even looked up what Justin Bieber was up to these days you know as everybody does of course I decided to try to find my old roommate James and see what happened to him I did the usual FaceTime and I think Facebook Instagram LinkedIn with no luck and then just googled him suddenly there
he was an old picture of him looking like the sweet face surfer kid I knew back in the day except wearing a prisoner's outfit yeah he was in prison serving life what to my shock I read the story of what happened after What the fuck?
climbed to a hill to stake out the place and hide and wait seeing another man on the property with the boss james and his friend decided to wait it out after a few hours of waiting and watching they decided to go ahead and rob both men they creeped down the hill like your worst nightmare coming true robbed them and shot them both in the back of the head holy shit my palms were sweating at this point as i realized this could just as well have been me laying on the floor with a gunshot to the back of my head apparently james was caught after blabbing to an informant went to trial and and received
two consecutive life sentences for first -degree murder.
I was stunned. As I think back, I'm always grateful that I listened to my friend and trusted my instincts and noped the hell out of that apartment while I was still breathing.
Anyway, that's my story of a close call of death.
Thanks for reading, and stay weird, but not so weird that you end up in a shitty little apartment spending all your money on partying, eating pinto beans for a month, and living with a future double murderer.
Holy shit. Isn't that insane?
First of all, holy shit.
Second of all, holy shit.
Mike's a real one. yeah for pulling you in there and being like get the fuck out of the apartment because at first i was like what the fuck is this creep about to do what's mike gonna do right now closing the door slowly and yeah but damn thankfully mike was on it yeah um and then for you being smart enough to not because we've heard so many stories of like ah you're stupid no blah uh -huh and it's like you being smart enough to just be like you know what i'm out of here no chance in that if you're sleeping with a stun gun at like before that that's a good job yeah smart you're a smart gal you
really are our tiffany tiffany you're a smart gal tiffany five ever five ever uh let's see should i close it out with the ghost fan listener tale you've gotta because i'm not even sure if it's roommate related but you guys are just adorable and i was like there's a picture of both of them and i was like gotta read it oh gotta read it gotta read it so it says let's see dear lovely morbid ladies my name is Neva and feel free to use my name I give no fucks.
That's a pretty name That is a really pretty name.
I'm so excited to write in to you chicks because I'm a 41 year old goth kid who really enjoys the work you two do and I'm grateful to have found your podcast Thank you.
I'm in love with you I was inspired to write in because I am a giant ghost fan.
Seriously I'm on concerts 9 and 10 this summer I'm so jealous.
That's wild and have a ridiculous amount of ghost merch On top of that my husband and I have Nameless ghoul rings from thegreatfrog .com as wedding rings because it suited us so much more than being boring twats.
No offense to anyone who likes to be boring.
That's amazing. Anyways, I've included a photo of them and us for your viewing pleasure and apologize up front if this is a bit lengthy.
No, you guys are so cute.
I'm obsessed with it.
I'm obsessed with the rings.
John and I were talking about it recently, actually.
So like, I'll be on board with you here that we were like if we got married now yeah he was like he was like my my like it would have it's gonna i'm like it's gonna be such a different vibe when you get married again when we marry again but we he was like he was like i feel like you would want like tobias forge as papa to officiate our wedding yeah i could see that and i was like yes yeah full gear yeah full gear and like black bridesmaids dresses it would be so much you'd wear black i totally would now yeah i think i was like Like, much more concerned with, like, upsetting anyone.
Yeah. Back then. Well, it's hard when you have, like, you know.
Yeah, you have, like, grandparents around.
You don't want to upset and stuff.
And I was much more, like, not comfortable with being a little, I don't know how to explain it, like, disruptive back then.
So I think I, like.
Now you've leaned full -fledged into being disruptive.
But now also I'm very comfortable with being weird. I like it.
So it would be a different situation now.
but he was joking about that and he was like imagine if you could just have ghosts be like your house band for you you should do like a 20 -year like um what is it called vow renewal yeah thank you yeah that would be crazy do that that'd be fun you get one life why not you get one life have another party that's kind of that's also my motto you have one life have another party have another party uh i love it so i'm with you on that for sure neva uh the tale i have to share is ghostly and fun, and I think back on the experience fondly.
I grew up in San Diego, California, and after years of living in the part of San Diego no one gives a crap about, I was finally able to move into an apartment in the pre -gentrified area of San Diego called City Heights.
It was a slightly run -down part of town but close to the best cemeteries, small clubs the band I was in played at.
You're in a band too.
That's cool. In all of my band friends.
It was very common for apartment buildings in City Heights to be smaller two to three unit buildings with a main detached house in the rear near an alley.
My roommate and I lived the second floor unit off 36th in University, which had a delicious chicken and ribs place on one corner and a strip club called Club Fantasy on the other.
That's awesome. I used the smaller of the two bedrooms in the apartment, and shortly after moving in, I began to notice some strange things happen.
Near one of the living room windows, I would see balls of sparkling light that would get larger and larger, spin around, and then disappear.
appear. That was me.
That was just me. This happened multiple times.
My cat Lexington, what an amazing name, would also be caught staring at the same window wide -eyed and bewildered as so I can only imagine what he saw.
Things only got more interesting with time.
For example, my bedroom window faced the alley where a bright light was always on and there was no balcony, walkway or anything on the second floor.
It went straight down to the ground.
My room was completely dark and the only light that was coming in from was from said alley i was living i was sitting in my living room and had gotten this funny sense that i should look up i obeyed and what the fuck do i see a solid black silhouette of a head and shoulders that looked like a young boy with a bull haircut lol it literally says lol that moved across the window and then disappeared into the darkness like what the fuck that's horrifying i sat there frozen and couldn't believe what the fuck i just saw i told my roommate what happened and she looked at me stunned then said she wants
to try to make contact with it to see if we can learn anything about anyone residing in the apartment with us now don't judge me we used a ouija board i'm not judging you i'm not judging you i know i know always seems to be bullshit right actually no i don't actually know actually no always seems to be downright terrifying and people end up cursed for life i don't normally care for them due to a bad childhood experience but i said fuck it and we busted it out.
Within 10 to 20 minutes of starting to ask questions, the planchette started moving.
Both my roommate and I fiercely promised we were not pushing it.
I decided to ask, what is your name?
It answered, Christopher.
I then asked how old he was, and he answered 13.
Finally, I asked, are you the boy who I saw in my room?
And it answered, yes.
Both me and my roommate released our fingers from the planchette and screamed, because we both had no other reaction we were, there was no other reaction we were capable of.
I politely said goodnight to Christopher and asked no further questions.
To wrap up this bizarro tale, I'll tell you my very last interaction with Christopher.
I was in bed with the door shut, lights off, and the roomie had taken the cat into her room for the night.
I'm the type that likes to leave a leg out of the bed under the blanket when I sleep.
That's insane. Even if the chances of the monster under my bed grabbing me and sucking me into a dark abyss are high.
They are. I like to live dangerously.
You're a bad bitch. After I closed my eyes to enter dreamland, I felt something that shook me to my fucking core.
Very softly, I felt something graze the back of my calf, like someone had run their hand very gently across my skin.
Christopher, that's a little creepy.
Christopher. Consent, baby.
Christopher, you're getting Kansy.
My eyes immediately opened, and faster than you can say holy shitty titty balls, I pulled my leg under my blanket and curled into the fetal position.
I was terrified. Shook was an understatement.
I had never experienced anything like this before.
But after I calmed my tits, I took a deep breath and calmly said, okay, I understand you're here, but I want to go to bed now, so you need to go.
And I never saw, heard, or felt anything from Christopher again.
Wow. I hope you two enjoyed this, and I want to say thank you for all the hard work and dedication you put in your podcast. So keep it weird, but not so weird you keep a leg out while trying to sleep, risking eternal darkness in the abyss while a bowl -cut having ghost gropes your leg, spookily yours, Neva.
Spookily ours? hours i love it it's spookily ours diva oh my god you guys are adorable i'm obsessed with your rings i'm obsessed with all of these listener tales we need to do another installment of like worst roommates yeah these are fun i love making the subject line like nightmare roommates yeah if you have any like crazy ones exactly and obviously don't forget to go watch worst roommate ever on netflix it premieres globally on june 26 2024 this year motherfuckers and in our description for this episode, we'll have a link so you can go check out and see what it's all about.
Yeah, and for all you weirdos who listen early and ad -free, you can catch up on the first season now so that way you're ready when the new season drops.
Hell yeah! Worst remakes ever on Netflix.
Do it. We hope you keep listening.
Bye. No. And we hope you.
we hope you keep listening and we hope you she's not singing keep it weird but not so weird that you have a crazy college experience of witchcraft and attempted murder because that one was absolutely insane and i really hope ella's doing better definitely so weird that you and your hubby got matching ghost um what are they called wedding ring wedding ring schools nameless that's what i meant nameless school wedding rings and definitely don't keep it so weird that a ghost with a bowl cut touches your leg because i think you might be cursed for life Now, do keep it so weird that you shit a myopic
Spooky Dookie in the tub, because that's fair enough.
And keep it so weird that you wake people up in the middle of the night and whisper trick -or -treat to them, but never so weird that you are going to rob somebody, but do keep it so weird that you sleep with a stun gun underneath your pillow.
Okay, do it! bye bye see ya peace out deuces arrivederci deuces i don't know how to say bye in any other ciao Ciao.
If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad -free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad -free on Amazon Music.
Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery .com slash survey.
Hi, I'm Lindsey Graham, the host of Wondery's podcast, American Scandal.
We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U .S. history.
Events that have shaped who we are as a country and that continue to define the American experience.
American Scandal tells marquee stories about American politics, like the break -in at the Watergate Hotel, an event that led to the downfall of a president and raised questions about the future of American democracy.
We go behind the scenes looking at devastating financial crimes, like the fraud committed at Enron and Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme.
And we tell stories of complicated public figures like Edward Snowden and Monica Lewinsky, people who found themselves thrust into the spotlight and who spurred debates about the future of the country.
Follow American Scandal wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad -free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.
