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[The Future of Social Norms: Handshakes, Uncertainty, and Human Connection]-[1. Did Covid-19 Kill the Handshake?]

No Stupid Questions · B2 · 2020-05-18

Culture
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📋 Summary

Rethinking Social Rituals and Embracing Uncertainty

In this episode of No Stupid Questions, Angela Duckworth and Stephen Dubner explore how the COVID-19 pandemic has forced a reevaluation of long-standing social customs and our psychological relationship with an unpredictable future.

The Decline of the Handshake

Angela Duckworth initiates a discussion on the future of the handshake, describing it as a social ritual she has "long wanted to phase out." Her aversion stems from the physical reality of the act—what she calls "fleshy" and "sweaty" palms—which she finds inherently "gross." Beyond hygiene, she argues that the handshake is an outdated form of "trust exchange" that evolved from the necessity of showing one was "unarmed."

Stephen Dubner, while acknowledging the health risks, highlights the social function of the handshake as an "opportunity for reciprocity." He notes that it serves as a "social script" that signals trust and openness. However, both agree that the pandemic provides a unique "liminal period" where society could potentially transition to new, safer alternatives. Angela suggests a "salute" as an "ennobling" and "warm" alternative that avoids physical contact while maintaining a clear visual signal of respect.

Forced Social Obligations

Stephen confesses that the lockdown has provided a welcome reprieve from "forced interactions" and social obligations that he would otherwise feel compelled to fulfill. He posits that the post-pandemic era might see a shift in how people manage their time, moving away from activities they don't actually enjoy. Angela offers tactical advice for this, recommending that people express "enthusiasm" for the request but follow up with "complete devastation" that they cannot participate. She believes that by providing a polite "no" without over-explaining, most people will fill in the blanks with generosity, allowing for a more efficient and authentic social life.

Confronting the Nature of Uncertainty

Transitioning to the psychological toll of the current global climate, the hosts tackle why humans "freak out" about uncertainty. Angela defines two types of uncertainty:

  • Epistemic uncertainty: Not knowing the facts or science behind a process.
  • Aleatory uncertainty: Randomness or indeterminacy that is inherent to the world.

Stephen notes that while uncertainty is a constant of the "human condition," our expectations for predictability have "ratcheted up" due to technological advancements like meteorology. They discuss the "Ellsberg paradox," which illustrates how humans are highly "aversive" to situations where the odds are unknown, preferring scenarios where probabilities can be measured—even if those measures are flawed.

Finding Balance: Consistency and Surprise

Ultimately, the hosts discuss how to foster a sense of stability. Angela suggests that for children, creating a world that is "consistent and at least benign" helps them adaptively engage with life. Conversely, they argue that rather than fearing uncertainty, people should reframe it. Angela concludes by advocating for the intentional creation of "positive surprises." By planning small, unexpected joys for others, we can transform uncertainty from a source of anxiety into an opportunity for interest and connection. As the fact-check segment concludes, while the future remains inherently "uncertain," our ability to adapt our social rituals and manage our expectations remains our greatest strength.

🎯Key Sentences

1
I can't answer that in less than a paragraph.
2
I find a salute somewhat ennobling.
3
But what the heck? We can democratize that.
4
I still think we should banish it entirely.
5
I think the irony here is that scientists are among the most forward about what they don't know.
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📝Key Phrases

1
phase out
2
go out of style
3
take for granted
4
follow suit
5
catch someone off guard
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📖 Transcript

Hey Angela, how's your life?
No, that sounded insincere.
Wait, wait, wait. Hey Angela, um, how's your life?
That's too big, Stephen.
I can't, I can't, I can't answer that in less than a paragraph.
I'm Angela Duckworth and I'm Stephen Dubner.

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