The Magistrate’s Unconventional Appointments: A Lesson in Flawed Character

In the tradition of old China, a newly appointed county magistrate was expected to perform three good deeds to gain the trust of the local citizenry. However, the protagonist of this folktale chooses a path of irony and unintended consequences, hiring a trio of individuals defined by their negative traits. This narrative explores the folly of attempting to leverage character flaws for personal gain.

The Selection of the Trio

Seeking to staff his household with unique talent, the magistrate orders the arrest of three specific archetypes: a "quick-tempered man," a "lazy slowpoke," and a "con artist." The magistrate identifies potential utility in their respective vices:

• The Quick-Tempered Man: Chosen for his intensity, the magistrate appoints him as an escort, believing his lack of patience ensures he will "never be late."
• The Lazy Slowpoke: Selected to care for the magistrate's sons, his extreme lethargy is misconstrued as a virtue—the magistrate assumes he would "never lose his temper" with the children.
• The Con Artist: Hired for his "ability to get bargains," the magistrate views his manipulative nature as a practical skill for household economy.

The Consequences of Misplaced Trust

Predictably, these character traits do not translate into reliable service; they lead to a series of disastrous events that dismantle the magistrate’s life.

The Failure of Urgency

During a journey, the "quick-tempered man" attempts to carry the magistrate across a stream. Driven by an impulsive desire to express gratitude, he abruptly drops his master into the water to clap his hands. This highlights that the "hothead," while efficient in speed, lacks the necessary stability and foresight for duty.

The Cost of Apathy

Upon returning home, the magistrate finds his children have suffered a tragedy. The "slowpoke," true to his nature, failed to intervene when the younger son had "fallen into the well." When questioned about the lack of urgency in reporting the death, the slowpoke calmly retorts, "What’s the hurry? I’ve told you now." This underscores the dangerous indifference inherent in his personality.

The Absurdity of Greed

Finally, the "con artist" (referred to as the "hackler") is sent to purchase a coffin for the deceased child. True to his nature, he cannot resist the urge to bargain, even in the face of death. He negotiates the price down to 15 tails, but in a display of dark irony, he purchases a smaller coffin to place inside the larger one, remarking, "so we won’t have to buy another one when the elder young master dies."

Conclusion

The story concludes with the magistrate suffering "three blows in one day," serving as a cautionary tale about the nature of character. The magistrate’s attempt to manipulate human behavior for his own convenience backfires, proving that ingrained personality flaws—whether they be the impatience of a hothead, the apathy of a slowpoke, or the manipulative greed of a con artist—cannot be repurposed into virtues.