This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 1589.
How to connect in English over something you want to avoid.
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In many situations, especially challenging situations, you may have times when you want to make plans for a negative scenario and express that you don't want the thing to happen.
How can you say it in English and build the human connection?
Find out today.
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Hey, Michelle, how's everything going in your world today? everything's good.
Everything's good.
How are you?
Doing great.
Excited to be here.
What are we getting into today?
Do we have another listener question?
Yes, we do.
Yeah, I am excited for this question.
This is going to be a lot of fun.
So this question is from CL.
Lindsay, could you read it for us?
Okay.
So CL says on an episode you used a phrase God forbid when you wished the thing that you guys were talking about not to happen.
And I've heard bite your tongue on a TV show meaning the person doesn't wish a situation that another person speaks of to happen.
I'm wondering if there are any more of these kinds of expressions meaning the same thing.
Cheers from Hong Kong.
Okay.
Very good question.
A lot of good questions from this particular listener.
Yeah.
Amazing, amazing question.
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Right, Michelle?
Definitely.
Oh, my gosh.
So much fun.
So, Lindsay, do you say, God forbid?
I don't say that.
I do actually sometimes say it.
Yes, I sometimes do say this.
Sometimes I grab my chest, right, if it's something serious.
And I say that yeah well see, i'll heard one of us use it, or maybe it was aubrey or jessica in another episode, i don't know um, so i i'm not sure which episode, but apparently we said it.
So i mean yeah, generally we do use this to say something shouldn't happen right, we don't want something to happen right lindsay Yeah, but then we can also be sarcastic with it too, right?
We may get into that a little bit later.
But maybe some examples to throw out today, Michelle, what do you think for our listeners?
Let's do it.
So you want to read the first one?
Okay, so here it is.
Now let's say the venue isn't available, God forbid.
Do you have a second choice?
So here we're thinking of hypotheticals, things that could go wrong, right?
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
You're kind of preparing yourself that something may not work out.
Yeah, exactly.
Which is important for sure.
Um, or god forbid, he doesn't get that the job, then you'll be really sorry you didn't talk to your connection.
Yes, so this is serious.
Again, you're showing the very bad side and you're hoping this thing doesn't happen right yeah yeah yeah, exactly.
Or what's another one lindsay, We wouldn't want her to give us a bad grade, God forbid.
Okay, so my tone there too, right?
God forbid.
Right.
It said kind of like you back off of it a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And of course, if anyone is offended by the use of God, we apologize, guys.
It's not any kind of a curse word.
And so we're just using it because this is a common expression that natives do say.
This is common.
I actually thought about doing a whole episode on this.
I mean, it is common.
We want to teach you real English and people say this.
So you can choose, of course, whether you want to actually say that word.
Of course.
And it's really just important to say this is not really about religion at all.
Exactly.
Okay.
So we're not talking about like are not religious at all will still often say things like this.
Like I know, I have friends of mine who are not religious at all and would still use like a God in words.
So it doesn't it's not.
Oh, you're a religious person.
Like it doesn't signify that.
I don't think.
Exactly.
And it's possible that in some of our listeners cultures, it's not OK to use this word this way.
Right.
But that's true.
Right.
But in our culture, in this particular phrase, it is OK.
And we're showing you how to do it.
So, guys, if you're somehow offended by the episode, just move on and wait for tomorrow's.
There's always another one coming.
Exactly.
And I will say that yeah, some people who are religious, who are very religious, may not say it, because it may be more, you know, using it in a certain way, that it shouldn't be used.
So, again...
We're focusing on what we hear, what we hear people say, but we wanted to give you that little disclaimer.
Little disclaimer there.
Okay, Michelle.
That's the word I was looking for.
Okay, or here.
If you lost your phone, God forbid, would you know where all your passwords were?
Oh, that sounds awful.
If you lost your phone.
Well, what about all your friends' phone numbers?
Would you know them?
Oh, no.
None of us would.
All right, here's how it could be used in like a little conversation, a little role play.
We have to get used to the idea that the snowstorm may cause us to cancel our vacation.
God forbid.
I hate when that happens.
Yeah, when weather becomes a factor in your travel, that's a real pain.
Or like you said, it might be also used kind of sarcastically, like maybe a mother to a child.
Like you could say, God forbid you clean your room more than once a year.
Yeah.
And I think this is the more fun way to use it, honestly.
And what I would recommend for our high level listeners today.
If you are already 80 percent fluency because you've taken our fluency quiz, you're ready to use this sarcastically.
OK, so play around with this part.
Listen to this.
Yeah.
I mean, how do you think that like what does that mean?
God forbid you clean your room more than once a year.
What am I saying?
I'm saying you're saying you never clean your room.
Yeah, exactly.
It would be so rare to see you clean your room.
OK, so think think right now, guys, as you're listening today, maybe make a note.
What are some other situations where you could use that sarcasm?
So you'll be ready to actually use it.
We need to kind of rehearse these things before we say them in a real conversation.
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
No, it's true because some of these are very nuanced and you want to think it through.
That's a really good strategy is to first.
You know, sometimes when you learn something on this show that's like a little bit like different or like a little bit tricky, you know kind of think in your head could you, how could you use it?
When could you use it?
Exactly, Michelle.
Exactly.
So now CL also asked about bite your tongue.
So what about this one, Michelle?
So, yeah, CL is right.
So you know, in saying that – meaning that the person doesn't wish a situation that another person speaks of to happen, right?
So, yeah, it's funny because I don't think of this in the same category as God forbid.
I think of – this as more about not saying something, like someone knows they shouldn't say something.
Me too.
Right?
So they'd use this expression.
So like, how might you hear it, Lindsay?
So for example, I wanted, is that the right sentence?
Right there.
I wanted to tell my cousin that her outfit was hideous, but I bit my tongue.
I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Right.
That's how I know it too, Michelle.
I don't know it to mean the same thing as God forbid.
Yeah.
I mean.
But the interesting thing was then when I thought about it a little bit more.
I think maybe CL heard it in this kind of way.
Let's do this role play and then you'll see.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, here we go.
Well, we could lose the apartment if we wait any longer.
It's really a popular place.
Bite your tongue, Lindsay.
So yeah, in that way, it is kind of being used as God forbid that happen.
Right.
And almost don't say that because we don't want to make it happen.
Right.
And that reminds me of our episode on Knock on Wood, right?
It's a similar idea to Knock on Wood.
So if you want to hear that episode to learn more about that, go to All Ears English episode 585.
This episode is going to be great, Knock on Wood.
Yeah.
And it's also interesting if you think, just going back to God forbid for a minute.
We can do this in another episode, but I think people usually use kind of the present tense, right.
Like God forbid you do that or the future tense, I guess.
Right.
God forbid that ever happen.
We're going to have to look into the grammar behind that, how people actually use it.
But yeah, very interesting.
Yeah, definitely.
I mean, so those are the basics there.
I mean, but there are other ways if you're not comfortable in using this or you just want more variety to express this.
So I mean, one thing you could just say is let's hope that doesn't happen, right?
That's very natural.
So how would you use that, Lindsay?
So if he tells you he wants to break up, let's hope that doesn't happen.
What would you say?
Okay.
Or let's hope not.
Just saying let's hope not just as a chunk in itself.
Let's hope not.
Like she could fail the test.
Let's hope not.
Right.
Okay.
Michelle, how would you say that?
Yeah.
One more time.
I just did it, but that's OK.
One more time.
She could fail the class.
Let's hope not.
But that's how you would use it.
And then another one is let's think positive.
Now, I don't.
I mean, I don't think we would say let's think positively.
I feel like I hear people say, let's think positive, right?
Right, exactly.
It's kind of, we're a little lazy sometimes to put the L-Y on there.
Yeah.
So how might you use that?
There's a chance you might get a D, but let's think positive.
Okay.
That sounds bad.
So yeah, that's, you know, how you could use it.
I mean to me I feel like God forbid really expresses so much, but these are definitely other options.
And I mean...
Overall, let's just talk a little bit about the theme of this.
This is all, in a way, one of the ways that we're using this is prepping yourself, prepping yourself emotionally for something.
Or, you know, maybe there are other plans you need to make just in case something happens.
To me, that's what I was thinking about as we were talking about this.
Not all of the option, not all of the ways of using it, but a lot of these are about like okay, you need to mentally prepare yourself or do something physically to actually prepare yourself.
Right, right, right.
So kind of imagining worst case scenarios, that kind of thing, and then empathizing with the other person, helping them think through it.
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
So I think that, you know, that's really something that is actually a scale.
I mean sometimes.
Do you tend to like anticipate the worst things Lindsay, or do you try not to do that?
So I used to do that more.
I in some ways now I think I've gotten a little more productive in my thinking.
I try to just like try to like not make everything so important, I guess.
I try to like take importance away from things and try to be very action oriented.
I think entrepreneurship has taught me how.
OK, what can I do to prevent this or what could I do if this did happen right yeah yeah yeah yeah, because you do have to think about those things, but sometimes I think it can like cycle out of control and oh my gosh, I let, I let things.
You're a worrier right, Michelle?
Yeah, I am.
Yeah, That's not good.
I know.
It keeps you up at night.
And yeah, that's awful.
It's like one of the worst things to worry.
I know.
But I'm trying to be better.
I'm trying to be better.
But yeah.
So anyway, I just wanted to talk a little bit about this.
Should we combine them all into a role play?
Okay.
Let's do it.
Here we go.
So here you and I are co-workers and we're at the office.
Okay.
All right.
So our deadline is August 1st.
God forbid we miss it.
We could always ask for an extension.
Yeah, but I mean, that wouldn't be so good.
If we really have trouble, now let's think positive.
We can talk to our boss by mid-July and talk about other options.
True.
I mean, we might have to.
Bite your tongue.
Sorry, let's hope not.
But we have to be realistic.
This is a tough project.
You're right.
I mean, if you feel we need extra help, let's hope that doesn't happen.
We'll just be honest.
Okay.
Sounds good.
Yeah.
So here we are kind of projecting into the future, thinking about that deadline and creating scenarios, worst case scenarios.
What should we do?
What would we do if we got to this point?
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Exactly.
So you started off by saying our deadline is August 1st.
God forbid we miss it.
Right.
So you're saying like, I don't want this to happen, but it might.
Right.
We can always ask for an extension.
Yeah, exactly.
And then you said, if we really have trouble, let's think positive.
We can talk to our boss by mid-July.
Okay.
Yeah.
Another really good thing to throw in there.
Let's think positive.
That also might be very cultural.
Right.
Let's think positive.
Optimism.
Yeah.
Feeling like you have to be optimistic.
Yeah.
We've talked about that in other episodes, too.
For sure.
And then you said you know, I mean we might have to, like you sound like you're a little bit more like thinking, things might not work out.
So then I said, bite your tongue.
And I'm I'm kind of joking with you here in a way.
It's like, no, don't say it.
Right.
Yeah.
It kind of sounds like you're scolding me a little bit.
Bite your tongue, exactly yeah.
And then I said sorry, let's hope not right, but we have to be realistic.
Okay, very good chunk.
And then finally, I said, if we feel we need extra help, let's hope that doesn't happen.
Guys, and listen to the you know intonation here.
That's a big thing.
Yeah, you want to repeat that again for our listeners so they can hear that?
I would love to.
Here we go.
If we feel we need extra help, let's hope that doesn't happen.
We will just be honest.
Yeah, it's kind of like the energy is hanging between the three chunks of the sentence.
That's interesting to create that string of the idea throughout the whole thing.
That could be another episode, too.
Oh, my gosh.
For sure.
So, oh, wow.
This was a lot of fun.
This was a good question.
Really good question.
Guys, the takeaway for today.
You know we need to be able to express the idea that something shouldn't happen.
You're hoping it doesn't happen.
And it's also a connection skill because, like in this role play, we got closer as coworkers by creating a scenario, creating a plan and coming together and having the vocabulary to project into the future.
Right, Michelle?
Exactly.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's really the skill here.
I think that's like the overarching theme for today is having that plan connecting through having you know like you don't want something to happen.
And we all agree on that and we're connecting on that.
But we almost have to kind of talk about it just in case.
Yeah, I think there is a lot of bonding that can happen, especially at a place, a high pressure place.
Like if you're in a high pressure workplace, there's a lot of bonding that can happen around shared challenge.
And, in some ways, sometimes shared negative situations, that you can work together because you're both experiencing that same thing.
So really cool, interesting area to explore and get better at connecting guys in English.
So good.
So good.
Definitely.
Guys, and remember, get our app at alllearsenglish.com slash app.
Awesome.
All right, Michelle, we'll see you next time.
Have a good week.
Thanks.
You too.
Bye.
Bye.
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