Hey, Conan O'Brien here.
Usually in this slot, we air a fan interaction episode, but we're not going to do that.
We've had a lot of requests out there from people to talk about my recent experience hosting the Oscars.
It's only been about a week by the time this airs, a week or so week and a half since I hosted the Oscars.
We're taping this a bit earlier, several days after the show aired.
So it's still fresh in our minds.
And I am joined to go over this experience with my head, writer of many many, many years.
Some say too many years.
Too many.
Mike Sweeney, Mike Sweeney has been with me almost since the very beginning of my late night show.
He waited a little bit to see if it would survive or not.
And then when he saw that, you know, it was probably gonna make it, he came aboard.
So he is a coward.
You should have led with the coward part.
Yeah.
Mike Sweeney has been with me for a long time.
30 years.
30 years.
11 of them quite pleasant.
And we worked together on the Oscars along with Jeff Ross.
And Mike Sweeney led the creative team.
And-
People seemed very happy with how it went.
I had a blast doing it.
And one of the reasons I think I was able to enjoy myself so much is I knew I had.
We worked very hard to get material that we liked.
And I think the call came in from the Oscars in late November.
It was the day after we got back from Spain.
Yeah, shooting a travel episode in Spain.
And I got a call and I called you.
And I said, I'll do it, but you got to be on board.
I just laughed really hard.
You laughed really hard for a long time when you said, I just got a call.
They said, would you want to host the Oscars?
Why were you laughing?
Because the timing of it.
We were so busy.
You got really sick in Spain along with a few other people.
And also, it just seemed random out of left field.
It was not on our brain.
It was not on our radar.
Not on the radar.
And that's why it hit me funny.
It was as if I had got a call that said, we want you to be the new Miss America.
Right, exactly.
It was that random and from left field.
I would have laughed less.
I said yes, and then we quickly had to go and tape.
HBO Max very kindly said okay, you're supposed to finish this travel season, so yes, go host the Oscars, but can you knock this other travel show off very quickly?
Squeeze in another episode.
Squeeze it in quickly.
So we immediately dashed to Austria and we're shooting a show in Austria when I get the call that my father had passed away, so I rush home and then, while I'm home, I see that my mom is going too, and she went three days later and that was.
That was very intense, and a bunch of you very kindly flew out for that, which blew my mind, and I still thank you for that.
That means the world to me.
Of course.
Eduardo, a no-show.
It was duly noted, Eduardo.
Yeah.
I called for you during the eulogy.
We all went around.
I said, and of course, Eduardo.
Eduardo!
Eduardo!
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, Eduardo, sure, sure, whatever.
The funeral is not properly mic'd.
Yeah, he didn't.
Well, I'm glad you can laugh at my parents' death.
No, no, I'm kidding.
I'm laughing too.
And they would have wanted that.
Who knows?
No, I don't think so.
You know, while you were gone, you left Austria and we had to stay there another few days.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
That must have been tough for you.
Well, yeah, we had to go on to Vienna.
Yeah.
Yeah.
One of the crown jewels.
I had to go mourn my parents while you guys went to Vienna and shot B-roll and drank schnapps.
Yeah.
Just so you understand, it wasn't just you that had a difficult journey.
Yeah, exactly.
So then... The van was kind of cramped.
But we shot... We were like, what do we do?
So we...
I don't even know if we talked to you about this.
We shot something with Jordan.
Yeah.
That I'm not in.
That you haven't seen.
Yeah, I'm cutting it without even seeing it.
So then there's a real role here, because that rolled right into Christmas, felt like days after which rolled right into January, which rolled right into the fires.
I've been living in a hotel since then.
Right.
And so I remembered us noticing that the Oscars are getting closer and closer.
And because of all this madness, we haven't been able to get together in a room and get going.
And so you were instrumental in putting together I mean, some of the names were obvious because it's people you and I had worked with for a long time but I think we put together a murderer's row of writers.
Amazing.
Amazing writers.
We just laughed.
I missed being in a room with this crew.
Oh, man.
And we all assembled downstairs in this building.
It's a big conference room there.
And we just would laugh all day.
And I would come in and it was therapy for me because I would come in and...
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm like a fish in water, in tropical water, when I'm in a writer's room.
I'm just so happy to be around writers and to be joking around, usually riffing on things that could never make it into an Oscar show.
And there was plenty of that.
And that was a good shorthand to bring this crew back that had already written for you.
Yes, they knew my style.
And also just goofing around.
It was just an instant thing.
But, I mean, do it.
Brian Kiley, Matt O'Brien, Laurie Kilmartin.
Dan Cronin.
Dan Cronin.
Jesse Gaskell and Jose Arroyo, who also work on the travel shows.
Yep.
Skylar Higley.
Yep.
And did we mention Brian Kiley?
Oh, and by the way, yes, twice.
Brian Kiley was also there.
And then also Brian Kiley.
Kiley Kama.
Oh, and Scott Gairdner came in to help shoot some of the amazing.
He's amazing and he helped give a great look to some of the things that we wanted to do.
Scott Gairdner was a writer, yeah, on the TBS show.
Josh Comer's?
Josh Comer's?
Josh Comer's, fantastic.
Did we mention Kylie?
Brian Kylie?
Yes.
But also... Berkley Johnson.
Berkley Johnson.
And you should see Berkley's Johnson.
It's a joke I've been doing for 15 years, and it's always better.
I was...
It's so satisfying, but we have to tell this story.
Skylar Higley wrote the Drake joke.
Halftime.
The halftime joke.
We're halfway through the Oscars.
We're halfway through the Oscars, which means it's time for Kendrick Lamar to come out and call Drake a pedophile.
And he wrote that joke, and...
Today I was.
I mean, this has happened to me a couple of times, but I walked to some store this morning to get a cup of coffee and this young black gentleman came up to me and went Conan, I gotta ask you, did you write that, that joke about Drake?
And I said I did not.
That is the handiwork of Skylar Higley, and I gotta give it up.
I'm not that well-versed in the rap battles, but I got major props from this gentleman.
Excellent.
But we... started working and then just generating ideas.
It's the same thing we've done back when we would do Emmy shows or any Comic-Con shows, which is just generate thousands of ideas and throw most of them out.
We had so many ideas that you can't get too attached to any idea because you just know that things are going to get cut.
For example, we had a whole big cold open that we loved.
It was not the substance cold open that we ended up going with.
No, it was a different one.
It was basically hammered out before the fires, the idea of it before the fires happened.
Then, even after that kind of honed it and it would have been like three or four minutes long, and it was you.
Yeah, it'd be starting out in wicked, so you're in a.
It was.
It was was the idea that i'm gonna oh, conan's now gonna goof on all the movies yes, and so it starts with me and i'm all green in wicked, finishing defying gravity or one of those songs, and i finish it, and then you see you cut to the next thing, which is gladiator, and right and clang clang, clang with swords, and then you see that i'm a gladiator, but then you notice that i'm still green.
And then you, And then you go on to conclave and you see people voting with their ballots.
And then one of the hands is still green.
And then you cut to me in Dune and one of the characters, Javier Bardem, is saying I can't hear you because they all wear those masks in the sand.
Take it off, take it off.
And I finally take it off. what's your problem, man?
And I take it off and I'm green.
And he's like, what the hell, man?
Did you start this with Wicked?
And I went, yeah, and this stuff doesn't come off.
And the whole thing is that the dye wouldn't come off and we had to shoot it all in one day.
And it was kind of a conceptual idea, which we were but we thought oh, this is, We can carry this through the whole thing, where then all the characters in every movie that I've inhabited are laughing at me and giving me a hard time because I started out as green.
Including Nosferatu.
They're all piling up.
Nosferatu.
They're all piling on me like, you don't start with green.
Everyone knows that stuff doesn't come off.
You shoot the wicked at the end.
I know, but we had one day and no one told me.
That's a good Bill Skarsgård.
Thank you.
So we thought that that was... We were like, oh yeah, this is the idea.
And then we realized this is so complicated to shoot and it takes so many different setups and started to kind of fall out of Well, it was more.
But also then the Oscars said we're opening because of the fires with this big yes, that's true musical tribute, and that we were like, wait you, you can't go five minute musical tribute and then go into a five or four minute.
So we needed something quick.
We needed something quick.
So i was obsessed right, always obsessed with coming out of demi moore's back, right since i was a child.
I just I mean, that visual of my hair coming out of my head was something I was obsessed with and that ended up being good.
But it's one of the things you learn, which is that you constantly it's not just it's with monologue jokes, and it's also with bits
And this is just more about the process.
Don't fall in love with anything because also the times change.
You know if something is eight weeks out or nine weeks out.
What's funny now isn't the story four weeks later.
So so many of the narratives kept changing with the Oscars race that, and things would seem funny now, but then, not later.
And then we got a lot of clarity because I started going out to different clubs.
Right. and doing jokes and I could see which ones consistently work well.
That was incredibly helpful.
I think also just for just confidence in that, oh no, these jokes are good.
The audiences were very nice because they would go out and say I mean, I know Nikki Glaser does this as well, but it's a very good tool to go out and try things out with an audience.
But I would say, please don't record this.
And they wouldn't.
Right, right.
Which was really nice, because all someone would have to do is put that online and you're completely screwed.
Well, the other landmine which I didn't think about, I wasn't really aware of is, like I've heard the term award season, but it never – I was like what award season?
There was a different award show.
Once we were going to go to a club and they're like, oh sure you're going after so-and-so, who's hosting the?
–.
You know, Judd Apatow's hosting the DGA Awards.
He's going to do his monologue first.
And you're just like, wow, there's so many award shows.
We can't even be there when he does his, because we don't want to hear something like.
We can't be influenced.
We want to make sure there's no overlap.
So... you get into this thing where then you say, okay, that show's over.
I know, but this comic's out hosting the Spirit Awards.
The Spirit Awards.
And they're doing the circuit and trying jokes about.
So you have to wait till And if anyone does any joke you can't do that joke, then obviously.
It's gone, so... We had a couple of areas where we're just like, ah, no, we can't do that now.
We can't, it's gone now because someone else did it.
So...
The whole thing was fascinating.
But I have to say, the real education, the real behind-the-scenes education was, you know, the Academy of Motion Pictures.
Yes.
They are very serious about certain things.
Right.
And we had, this real lesson in, and again, I don't fault them.
I'm just, this is what they do.
The Oscar, the image of Oscar is very important to them.
And there'd be times where we'd be shooting bits to promote the Oscars.
Promos.
Promos to run on ABC.
Promos to run on ABC or to go on the internet that would, you know, promote the Oscar.
And I remember there was a giant Oscar statue and I shot something with it.
It was really fun.
And at one point I said, oh, it'd be really funny.
It was about Oscar and I, the Oscar and I, sharing an apartment and we don't get along.
Our marriage is crumbling.
And this was actually out there.
They ended up releasing it.
And I thought it came out pretty well.
But it's just a nine-foot Oscar and I bickering.
And of course, the Oscar's not doing anything.
It's just standing there like a statue.
And I'm saying, what happened to our marriage?
And we're fighting about things that couples fight about.
But at one point I thought oh, this would be really great if the Oscar was just on the couch.
Let's lay it on a really big couch.
And I'll be vacuuming and say, could you at least lift your feet?
Or could you at least get up and help load the dishwasher?
And we wanted to do it.
And they just said, no, no, no, that can't happen.
There was whispering.
There was whispering in this big room.
And then one of the people from the Academy came forward and said, Oscar can never be horizontal.
And that blew my mind.
Like, wow, this is like the thigh bone of St.
Peter.
This is a religious icon.
And we tried to put an apron when it was serving you leftovers.
And they're like, no clothing on Oscar.
Oscar's always naked.
He's always naked, but he won't lie down.
There's rules.
I didn't know.
Oh, no, there's just rules.
There's a lot of rules with Oscar.
And then you realize, oh, this award ceremony has been around since 1929.
Right.
There's a lot of different sort of shorthand for what can and can't happen.
But they ended up being very helpful.
I want to stress that.
Everyone was great.
They were great.
And the ABC people were fantastic.
And the producers we worked with, Raj and Katie.
They were amazing.
They would just make anything happen.
They would just, anything we said, they would say, yes, let's, that sounds funny.
Let's make it happen.
The day we met them, they were so nice.
I was like, oh, this is the classic.
Rope-a-dope.
Yeah.
This is a trick.
The first time we asked for some, you know, and they were amazing, right?
Yeah.
Every step of the way.
But it just kept getting.
My experience of it was once I said yes, I would always wake up at three in the morning and look at the ceiling and go what?
That's a... What a...
What?
I said yes to what?
And then it takes about an hour and a half to get back to sleep.
And that's just the deal.
That's just what it's like.
I talked to a few others some of the writers, and I was waking up at three thinking of things that either were still up in the air or that I forgot to do that day.
They came to me at three in the morning.
And then I couldn't go back to sleep until this week.
It was this week.
Yeah, i have been, i have been.
I refuse to.
I mean we finished.
It's now friday, we did sunday night was the show and it's been.
My wife is just i i'm, i am horizontal all the time.
I'm glad i know oscar can't be, but she doesn't like you horizontal.
Yeah, i never has.
Uh, The response was really lovely.
But the thing I keep going back to is the lighting.
The lighting is insane.
It's the best lighting I've ever had.
It's the best lighting I ever will have.
And it's Bobby Dickinson and Noah Mintz.
And they...
They were like looking at my face and touching little dials and adjusting things during the rehearsals.
And they also adjusted my face manually.
But I swear to God, I looked at myself in a monitor at one point in rehearsal and I'm like who's that guy?
It's not me.
And I know online people were speculating, you know, did Conan get some work done or something?
He's like, it's called lighting.
It's called lighting which, by the way, if you've checked out the podcast, this is not Oscar lighting.
Not pretty good.
And also we do these travel shows and I'm always my brand of comedy has always been hey, this could be really funny.
Let's just go do it.
Right.
And we shoot it with no thought towards lighting or I'll run into a 7-Eleven and do something.
It's a documentary cruise style.
It's a documentary cruise style as if it were a war zone.
Right.
So I always look like-
I always look like a toy that a dog got ahold of and chewed up.
And then suddenly I step out there and hit my mark and I'm a 19 year old girl.
You looked great.
And then I step out of it.
It's like, oh, the old pumpkin's back.
That's an intimidating room to be up on that stage and looking at all those people must have been.
I think you were in the audience.
So what was it like in the audience?
Were you scared for me?
You know, I was really... You can say it.
No, I was a little nervous for you.
And it was weird not to work it.
It's one of those big events that I would normally have worked.
I didn't work at the event.
You brought Tack.
I brought Tack.
And we were sitting next to Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
What was that like?
We were behind the complete unknown cast.
They are so much fun.
Yeah, we were in the fourth row.
Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo were just a few rows ahead of us.
Wait, your seats were much better than I said they should.
These are not the seats.
I know.
I think you made a mistake.
I think I did.
I do.
I really think you made a mistake.
And I just didn't move the whole time because I was like, I can't draw attention.
And also, if you leave this seat, someone's gonna take it from you.
Yeah, and also, every time you'd come up, Tac would be like, yeah, Conzi!
And I'd be like, stop talking.
You can't do that here, it's the Oscars.
Who sat behind you?
Behind, Oprah!
Oprah sat behind you!
Oprah!
That is a role behind us.
Better seats than Oprah.
Oprah Winfrey had to look through your big hair to try and see who had won an Oscar.
How did that happen?
So, you know, Erica Brown was there as well, who works on the show.
And I was like, we have to get you to meet Oprah.
So we were following her.
I've introduced Erica Brown to former First Lady Michelle Obama twice.
Twice.
Twice.
Yeah.
And, you know, she's from Jackson, Mississippi.
Everybody back home is just like, oh, my God.
And so, you know, I was like, we'll just walk by her and I'll like push you into her.
You know, like just like.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Shove you into her.
Yeah.
And you were telling Tack to be quiet.
So what did you do?
So what happened?
So we were following Oprah and then she just disappeared.
Yeah, she's.
And I think she went out like a special exit, you know.
Well, she has trap doors installed.
Yes.
Before she goes, people show up and install trap doors.
She helped design it.
But it was really exciting to just be there in the audience watching you and just like hearing the jokes for the first time.
You know, I mean, it was it was awesome.
It was really, really cool.
And everybody around was talking about how great you were doing.
It was fun.
It was a lot of fun.
It was to have also to have an orchestra.
You get spoiled between the lighting and an orchestra.
That's the first time they put the orchestra that high, right?
Wasn't that a great idea?
That was so cool.
It was really cool.
They had a trap door.
An Oculus had opened to reveal the orchestra.
It was neat.
Yeah.
Yeah, kind of.
And they had a Bond tribute for no good reason other than I assume it was for you, Matt Gourley.
I have some notes.
Yeah.
Let's hear it.
No.
How much of this show do you guys write?
Oh, that is the joke.
Is it just... That is the joke.
Well, no.
Anything I'm doing, we wrote.
Yeah.
Yeah, but like the rest of the Oscars have a different writing.
No, they have a great... They have a very good team.
Right.
Headed up by John Max.
John Max.
Okay.
Who works on... Man, he works on every award show.
It's incredible.
He's working on one right now, I'm sure.
He is?
He's at the Soul Train Awards.
He's working on the Mark Twain Awards.
I said Soul Train.
Okay, but I'm just...
I'm a stickler for accuracy.
The soul twang.
Yeah, and so... Zach Galifianakis did that very joke in one of the clubs I was in.
Oh, sorry.
It's okay, it's okay.
I just want to make sure that he doesn't think we ripped him off.
Yeah, I have to say that was a...
That was a highlight, probably, in a long career.
That was just so... Oh, yeah.
It was so fun.
But I just was thinking, the lighting is amazing.
There's this orchestra.
Everyone in the crowd's wearing a tuxedo.
I mean, you hosted the Emmys twice.
Yeah, that's true.
Right, but...
Yes, this... So it's like, oh, well, okay, you know how to do that.
But then, I don't know, they're just... It was a different level of getting scared before something.
You get intense.
You get intense beforehand.
It got very intense.
It's a big gig.
Because then you know people are watching, like, whatever, Around the World or something.
Well, after...
I wondered, I'm like, why are you so out of your mind and waking up at 3 a.m.?
And then afterwards, you're like, oh, that's why, because it really is highly scrutinized.
What's it like backstage?
Oh, that's interesting.
Is it chaos?
Is it controlled?
No, it is a machine.
My experience of it was that the way they have it set up is the winners drift off stage right and they're taken into a whole.
You know, it's like a digestive system.
It's like they're taken through- The press.
They're taken through the winner's walk, then they're taken right into a press.
There's a quick I think glam shots, then they're taken into the press room, then they're taken this way.
And I'm on the other side.
Mostly I'm either going descent, but I'm always coming off from stage left.
So I'm coming out to either my mark on stage left or to the center.
So there's not a lot of interaction, but every now and then you'd have this amazing moment.
And the one for me was I'm backstage and I'm watching the monitor, because you're just watching the monitor in between.
I'll go and talk to the writers and we'll think what could be a funny idea, what could be a funny thing we could say here.
We were constantly trying to think of what's something that could come up, what's happening in the show and what can we comment on.
But every now and then there's not much to do.
We know which the next joke is.
It's not for 10 more minutes.
So I'm sitting there, stage left, and I'm looking at my monitor and I'm just aware of like, a presence to my left.
And I kind of just look over and it's this guy and I immediately see that it's Mick Jagger.
Who I've never met.
And Mick Jagger looks at me and he starts nudging me.
And in kind of a comic American voice, he's like, hey, hey, how's the crowd?
How's the crowd?
How's the crowd out there?
How's the crowd doing?
How's the crowd doing?
How are they?
How are they?
And I said, crowd's really good, because they were.
I said, it's a good crowd.
And I said, but you don't have to worry about that, because you're Mick Jagger.
And he went, oh, no, no, I'm not going to try and do a Mick Jagger.
But he said, I always worry about the crowd.
And I said, wait a minute.
So you're with the Rolling Stones and you're in Buenos Aires and you're getting ready to come out and start the show and you're gonna start off with satisfaction and you're anxious that the crowd isn't gonna be good.
And he said, oh no, definitely, I wear an earpiece.
And I listened to the crowd and sometimes I can tell the crowd isn't quite there yet.
And I have to give it a little extra upfront.
And I was so relieved because I realized obviously he's 35 levels beyond me, but nothing ever goes away.
Meaning.
I've had many people give me a hard time because I'm at a small gathering and I'm supposed to get up and give a toast and Liza can tell I'm anxious and I'm getting worked up and I'm looking around the room to see is this a good room?
And she's like, it's a dinner party.
What are you doing?
And I'm like, it's just never goes away.
You're always worried about that stuff.
And to hear that Mick Jagger who's, I believe 81, The front man for the Rolling Stones, is asking people, asking me, how's the crowd?
You think I'll be all right out there?
I don't know.
It's going to be touch and go for you, Mick.
How's the lighting?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
But he, I mean, I was kind of intimidated because I didn't know what he would be like.
He was incredibly nice.
He said to me at one point, oh, and by the way, we've never met.
And I'm like, he?
How do you know you've never met me?
Isn't your life just a blur of occasionally an orange person comes by?
He was lovely.
He was great and funny and thoughtful.
And I had a great exchange with him.
And then I knew...
I need to end this.
Like, don't hang on too long.
So I said, well, anyway, wonderful, lovely.
It was very nice to meet you too.
And I walk away and I think Ruthie has me walking away from him.
And I saw that Ruthie was filming it and I just walk up and go like okay, that just fucking blew my mind.
Yeah, that's pretty crazy.
Back into the tent with the writers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Were you guys in a tent?
It's kind of a black duvetyne kind of roped off area.
And we had monitors and we had a, you know, we had the scroll of the script.
And so we would like.
After Flo won, Brian Colley had a joke about.
You know it's the first one for Latvia.
Yeah.
It's your move, Estonia.
Yeah.
So you guys are on the fly just, like, coming to things.
What's the process of you doing that and then getting that into the teleprompter for him in time?
Like, how much time was there?
There was this producer named Rachel was right in the room with us and she really helped with the script along the way.
She's great.
During the show, our script guy, John Croteau, who we could not have done any of this without.
Yeah, he's a hero.
He came out from New York just to work on the show, which was amazing because he worked on the world show.
He walked the whole way.
He walked the whole way.
Because we wouldn't give him bus fare.
Right.
And he's right now only in Iowa.
He's still on his way back home.
Yeah.
But she so we tell Jot, you know, OK, let's do this.
And then she talked to the prompter person and it would come right up and he'd read it and be like OK, you've got 10 seconds to get out.
There was one a couple of times.
Yeah, there was a moment that I was happy about, which is we're.
If we're backstage, but it's very just before the show, and we see Timmy Chalamet coming in.
Right.
And he's wearing a bright, bright yellow outfit.
It was a red carpet coverage.
Red carpet coverage.
And he's wearing this suit that's just bright, bright.
Like creamsicle.
Creamsicle yellow.
Mm-hmm.
And I said, well, he won't get hit driving his bike at night.
And people around me were like, that's funny.
And so I just kept it in my head and I walked out there and it was one of the first things I said, like hey, it's Timmy Chalamet.
Hey, you won't get hit on your bike.
People were like, ha ha ha.
And I'm like, that's not even on a prompter.
But it was just kind of, It was a nice feeling to feel like it is the same thing as you can just think of something and say it, and this giant important room if it's okay, they'll laugh at it.
It doesn't not all have to come through this huge process of agony.
You were very, I mean, you were very loose, you know?
I had a few pills in me.
Well, whatever.
They worked.
Yeah.
Because you were as loose as a goose, and it...
It was a really fun night, and I have to say lots of thanks and gratitude to ABC Academy.
They really did.
And the producers, Raj and Katie.
They took really good care of us and they seemed to know that Yeah, this needs to be what Conan wants it to be.
It's got to be in his voice.
They were very good about that.
Everyone was very supportive.
Michael Bearden, the conductor, the musical director.
Great, who worked out the song with me.
Yeah, he was great.
He was a great collaborator, right?
Yeah, Michael Bearden was great and that's a guy that worked with Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson.
I mean, the list of people he's worked with is insane.
So I had huge moments of inadequacy saying yeah, I want to sing this song, and he would sit down at the piano and start and we'd be like making it up and thinking.
I'd rather be working with a real musician.
He would transpose the key on the spot.
Like, oh, okay.
Let's try D flat.
Yeah.
D flat.
Yeah.
It sounds like you're a D flat.
And so, but there were so many fun things.
Like the sensibility has always been, we love puppets and silliness.
So we got obsessed with Sandworm.
We early on.
And then I kept putting off ordering it up.
I'm like, I'm like, is this, we're going to have a sandworm.
First, the sandworm was sitting in the audience and I'm like, uh, all right, a sandworm.
Oh, and then there was one idea where the sandworm comes out with an envelope.
And we were like, no, how are we going to get, it's not going to move.
And then we realized that- Then it was going to come down upside down and talk to you.
And it was going to have lines.
And so there was just, there's a whole, there's a whole lifeline to these things.
There's a whole evolution.
And then finally, it became clear Sandworm needs to be in the orchestra and needs to have gone to the Berklee School of Music.
Who played the Sandworm?
It was a guy who does creature acting.
But also crucially, from our team, the gentleman, the artist who dresses me and who, Scott Chronic, who's been with me for years, who I married.
You married on television.
On television.
In New York.
He and his partner in New York.
You officiated the wedding.
Is that right?
You're not married to him.
But I also was married to him for a while.
For a while.
And then Liza found out and the whole thing went south.
That enhanced your own marriage.
Exactly.
But he built the Sandworm and...
In three days.
He built it in three days.
And so it was behind the harp.
But then we had different ideas for who should be behind the piano, and it wasn't quite working out.
We couldn't quite figure it out.
And then finally it occurred to us, the sandworm should be the person on the piano.
And then the sandworm can show up again on the harp as a callback.
That happened the day before the Oscars, we realized.
I think it was the day before.
It was that Friday.
It was that Friday that yes, Sandworm should come out on the piano first and then show up later on on the harp, because he's a multi-instrumentalist.
That's important.
But when he came out the first time we rehearsed that song rolled out on the panel.
It was such a great reveal.
Such a great, almost as dramatic as you coming out of Demi Moore's back.
It was just like, whoa, that's a great tableau.
Because you're singing in the foreground and there's this...
A worm pounding away at the keys.
I was like, okay.
But Scott Cronick designed the costume.
And then at the end of the show before the show was even over, I think someone from the Academy said we'd like to keep the sandworm.
Because they have a museum.
Oh, yeah.
Great.
So I don't know if it's ever going to happen, but if you go to the Academy Museum you can see the shark from Jaws.
Yeah.
You know, you can see the snow globe from Citizen Kane.
Oh, there's Sandworm.
There's Sandworm from the 97th Oscars ruining the museum, dragging it all down.
I heard they had to get rid of the shark from Jaws to make room for the Sandworm.
The Sandworm.
But I think they have the right.
The sandworm ate the shark because he's above it in the food chain.
We mentioned Scott Gardner.
He directed The Substance.
We did an ad parody, Cinema Streams.
Did a great job of that.
And then he shot our two Jeff Bezos arriving at the Oscars.
A reason I'll never get a package again.
Bezos is probably like, see to it he never gets a package again.
He's petting a white cat.
And yeah, Matt Schar, our travel show editor.
Oh, if we're just going to list names, I can do that too.
We were working on the travel shows during.
Well, like we had to come in on the weekend and edit, and I didn't even tell you because I thought you'd be like, what do you do?
Why are you working on anything other than the Oscars?
I was so enraged when people would try to talk to me about the travel shows.
Every now and then, Jeff Ross would say something like so anyway, you know, if we do end up going to India, I'd be like it's not about the Oscars.
If it's not about the Oscars, I don't want to talk about it!
Yeah.
I'm a real pleasant chap.
You know what?
Yeah, we were real pleasant leading up.
Your mind works constantly when you're focused on something.
And you know, I feel like a lot of times when you're getting your creative energy out, you're just making fun of us more than you normally would.
No, no, no.
Yeah.
No, that's in your head.
I'm going to say so.
That's in your head.
Do you feel that way too, Matt?
Yeah, I felt that.
I felt like it was just.
A cloud of anger.
No.
It was just elevated.
No.
So it was a real joy for all of us who work for you.
It wasn't always easy to be around Picasso.
Okay.
But boy, did he fill a lot of museums with wonderful work.
That's right.
Two, three, four.
So Picasso and a sandworm.
Sandworm, yeah.
Uh-huh, those are my muses.
But also Sweeney, weren't you?
We were in, we were in Austria, and weren't you trying to then pull together this writer's room?
Yes, from across the world as well.
In Austria, during the day you would be directing the Austria show and then at night you would come back to the hotel and then we would all chill and you would be going and trying to pull together.
I was on the phone with different writers managers, because initially it was often funnier than the writers.
Yes, the managers were very entertaining, very.
They got great ideas.
They're great to chat with in salzburg.
Um, yeah and uh, that was all coming together over there, yeah.
But then we ended up.
You know we, we reassembled our old team and they is the best move.
They're the funniest.
Yeah, it was so much fun.
It was great.
Incredible.
Great to have that room.
Good to see them all again.
Yeah.
It was a nice reunion.
It was really, really nice to see everybody.
Also to have everything humming where there's a writer's room downstairs working on the Oscars.
I'd be in there joking around.
Then I'd come up here.
Yeah.
And we would do a podcast.
Abuse these people.
Abuse you guys.
You could abuse people on multiple levels.
I know, you really could.
You had rooms set up just to make fun of people.
People are going to get the wrong idea about me from these jokes you're making.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Anywho.
Can I also ask?
You went on Kimmel, which is really funny.
And he gave you advice to sit down.
Did you sit down?
No, not that much.
No, you were on your feet the whole time.
I was on my feet the whole time because I'm very hyperactive.
Yeah.
Jimmy's advice was sit as much as possible because it's a lot of standing and I can't sit still.
And so there's footage.
I mean, I got to give a shout out since you're naming everyone you've ever met.
Hey, doing an amazing job.
I'm going to list the people that served in the Korean War now on the American side.
No, but Ruthie and Samantha, who handle the social media.
They did this amazing thing where they were shooting video all the time, sort of day in the life video, and posting it.
But there's...
Not only am I not sitting down, but at one point I'm doing a Russian dance, while the writers around me are chanting Conan.
And I'm if the show is only half over and I'm expending energy and doing that leg kick dance.
And then it's madness, absolute madness.
But that's the world I like to live in.
Anyway, it was an honor.
It was a privilege.
It was a thrill.
And Mike Sweeney would not have happened without this man.
He has his proper due.
No, we'd have found someone else.
Sure, of course.
Very quickly.
So the first thing I learned about is everyone's replaceable.
What's next?
So you better show up to work.
What's next?
I mean, you've hosted the Emmys.
You've hosted the Emmys.
Latin Grammys.
Latin Grammys.
Yeah.
Come on, Eduardo.
You're a real fit.
What do you think?
I think you're a perfect fit.
I think you'd be great at that.
You're Spanish killed during the... Si, es verdad.
Yes.
We, that was, yeah.
And you're Hindi and you're Chinese.
You're Mandarin.
The key to the Mandarin was they were laughing so they couldn't hear the Mandarin.
But anyway, it was, it was a real highlight, but it's also, man, it's nice to have that behind us.
Yeah.
I've got to say.
Well, great job.
I know I haven't said that until now.
No, you really nailed it.
Fantastic.
Well, we can't just be patting ourselves on the back here.
There's work to be done.
There's work to be done.
This man.
Can I talk to you for a minute about you?
Can I talk about this guy?
What you do and what you did when you did it.
Now I'll be Sebastian Maniscalco.
This guy.
This fucking guy.
This fucking guy.
All right.
That was our Oscars podcast.
Talk down.
Conan O'Brien needs a friend.
With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Session, and Matt Gourley.
Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao.
Theme song by The White Stripes.
Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
Take it away, Jimmy.
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair.
And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.
Additional production support by Mars Melnick.
Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn.
You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode.
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