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Okay, let's get started.
Hey, Devon.
Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.
Hey, Devon.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm sorry.
This is crazy.
Well, I think it's crazy that your shirt matches your background exactly.
Exactly.
Because you look like a floating head right now.
It's cool.
It's pretty cool.
You have a good look going for you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Devon.
There's so much we need to talk about, but the first thing I need to understand is where are you coming from right now?
I have no idea where you are in the world.
So I'm from Calgary, Alberta in Canada.
I originally was from Edmonton, but yeah, I'm in Calgary now.
Okay.
So you live in Calgary and what's the temperature where you are right now?
It's unseasonably warm.
It's about five degrees Celsius.
So, yeah.
That always still sounds cold when you do Celsius.
Doesn't it sound like, oh, it's real hard.
It's five degrees.
What is that in American temperature?
Yeah.
We like everything done the American way since we're soon to buy your country.
I've never figured out the conversion there.
So your guess would be as good as mine.
So it's 41 degrees.
Okay.
Did you call it Calgary?
Yeah, so I'm not originally from here, so I call it Calgary.
I'm supposed to call it Calgary.
You know what I say, Devon?
Stick to your guns.
Yeah.
Yeah, the locals don't really know what they're talking about.
I don't think so.
Hey, I'm going to say this, Devon, and this is a compliment.
You look yoked.
Doesn't he look like a... Do you lift?
Yeah, I mean, you look... Swole, is that what the kids say?
Swole, yoked.
You look incredible.
I should have worn my shirt that says yoked.
It would have been way better.
Guess what, pal?
You don't have to because you've got the muscles to prove it.
Your muscles have muscles.
It's out of control.
What's going on here?
Tell us, do you lift every day?
What's the story?
Yeah, I do work out quite often.
I've been training for, I mean, how old am I now?
I'm almost 33, so since I was like 16.
Wow.
So, yeah.
I started working out when I was 55.
Okay.
And I'm still on very light weights.
You'll get there, though.
Yeah.
No, and in my 70s, I'm going to move up to the old 20-pounder.
You'll get there.
You're a very nice guy, Devon.
You'll get there.
By the time you're in your 90s, you'll be okay.
Well, are you a professional athlete in any way?
I'm not a professional.
I would make that clear for sure.
But I did compete in bobsleigh last year for our Canadian national team.
Oh, you're kidding.
So you are a, I mean, you're a serious bobsledder.
I would call it former because I'm not doing it this year.
But last year I did do it.
It was my first year.
And yeah, I was on the World Cup team.
I think when I sent the email last year, I could be wrong.
I sent applications a few times to you guys.
But when I made the team I was like I'm going to send it and hopefully Conan will want to talk to me now.
And I might have been in Europe. right when I sent it.
Yeah, but let me tell you something, Devon.
If I was on a bobsled for two seconds, I would spend the rest of my life telling people that I was a bobsledder.
That's just me.
You're being way too modest.
It sounds like, I mean, this is serious stuff.
You have competed at a top level.
Yeah, I was very lucky.
I was also just very fortunate to be in good positions.
I put myself there and put myself out there last year and was able to just find my way into one of our top sleds last year and somehow ended up over there.
It was uh okay, i just took a shot at it.
So i don't know.
We've all seen the images of bobsledding um, but i don't know much about it.
I know there's a couple of a couple of you are crammed into a bobsled.
How many?
So it's either two or four uh, four.
It gets real cozy in there.
But uh, it's nice you're, you're with your buddies, kind of going down well, and if they're not your buddies, they become your buddies real fast.
Yeah, they do for sure.
So you are, you are interlocked with these, there's four of you and you're on this sled.
That's like a rocket.
And how fast do you go at times?
150 kilometers an hour.
You and your metric system.
I don't know.
Is that, I mean, that could be 11 miles an hour for all I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm very ignorant.
My cat can run 150 kilometers an hour.
93 miles an hour.
93 miles an hour?
And what is that in kilometers?
Yeah, stop it.
I just got us off of that.
Okay, all right.
Wait a minute.
So 93 miles an hour on a bobsled.
I don't understand.
What happens if you crash?
You hang on for dear life.
Seriously.
Do you fall out?
What happens?
You can, if you don't hang on, you will fall out.
Yeah.
Like it's kind of my first crash.
I learned it real quick.
I was doing a two man, so it doesn't go quite as fast.
It gets to.
I don't know what it is in miles per hour, but it gets to like 140 ish kilometers an hour.
And we crashed probably at the fastest point on the track in Whistler.
And you feel it right away.
It's like trying to kick you out.
It's like almost like a bull just trying to kick you off.
So you have to like grab on to the frame and pull yourself back in and just try and stay in.
The other thing is if you let yourself come out, you're usually scraping on ice.
There's walls.
So you might hit them.
You're trying to get as low into the sled so that the sled takes it and not your body.
But wait a minute.
Are you wearing any protection?
There's a helmet.
And then we have what is called a burn vest.
So to prevent any ice burn from like skidding on it.
You have this, like, Kevlar vest, but other than that, it's just a speed suit.
Okay, okay.
I don't understand.
It's not a ton.
I don't understand how you're not killed.
I'm being serious.
I don't understand how, if someone threw me at 93 miles an hour onto ice and I was just wearing a skin-tight suit which wouldn't look great, by the way and a helmet, there'd be an immediate funeral.
Just an immediate... A doctor wouldn't even check on me.
They would just...
They would just put me in a box and have a funeral.
You would just slide down the track into a crowd of people dressed in black.
Yeah, we would all wait.
The coffin would be opened at one end and I'd slide right in.
And they'd say, well, there he goes.
And put me down.
So, I mean, have you ever been seriously hurt?
I haven't.
I've been really fortunate.
Our crashes, one looked violent.
It wasn't that bad in it, but it looked really bad.
Just because you're about halfway down, we crashed, we tipped over and, as you're going through all these turns going down, the sled's just doing its own thing.
No one's controlling it, so when it goes up on a turn, it comes back down as if it's coming down on your head.
You can kind of feel it, but You're just hanging on.
Again, you're with your buddies, so you're kind of like hanging on, like okay, let's hope we all don't fall out and get hurt here.
That's a pretty low-key conversation you guys are having.
It's 93 miles an hour.
You're soaring through an ice tunnel out of control.
Kind of hope we don't get hurt here.
Interesting.
Is one of you reading the paper?
Oh, look!
Sister, the Oilers are in town.
I think, like the last crash that we had, I was thinking like my first thought was like, because it was our first four-man on the World Cup together and
I'd like told my family all back home, like, this is where you can watch it.
Make sure you tune in.
It's at this time.
And, like first thing, I was like oh man, my mom is watching this and she's not going to like this sport anymore.
Just because that's all I was thinking the whole time.
I'm like, oh man.
I need this to end so I can pop out and just give her a thumbs up.
Show her that you're all right.
Quick question.
My instinct would be I would want to be the third person in a four person, because if something went wrong, I would try to use the bodies in front and behind me as a buffer, as a shield.
Is that a sign of low character on my part?
Yeah.
Like I would try to be positioned behind you so that I could steer you towards the ice and the rocks, because and your body is, I'm just being honest.
Your legs are too long.
What?
Your legs are too long.
Yeah, that's right.
I think the minute the crash starts, my legs would fall off.
They'd say oh look, two strands of denim spaghetti just fell out the back of the- Excuse me, you're wearing denim.
I'm wearing denim, yeah.
I'm not putting on this goddamn Kevlar.
What do I look like?
I'm a man, see?
A pure Canadian tuxedo.
Yeah, exactly.
So I'm just being honest with you.
I would try to use your body to absorb all the punishment.
Well, I was always, I was the third guy.
So when you load, you have like a routine.
Yeah.
I was the third guy.
And I mean, in the crash, your instinct is to get as low as possible into the sled.
So yeah, in fairness, I am trying to get lower than everyone else in that sled.
Yeah.
You know what I would do?
I would build a little trap door in the sled so that I there's like, and some steps so I could go downstairs into a tiny little room and read a novel during the crash.
How big is your bobsled?
It's a bigger bobsled, yes.
It's less aerodynamic.
But at my insistence, it has, when the crash starts, excuse me, gents.
And I open a little door and then you hear footsteps going...
Down some steps.
And then I shut it.
It's a little cocoa.
And I read the third Harry Potter.
I think it's Harry Potter and the stone that's made of bones.
And I'm in there with a little sweater and stuff.
And there's a little fireplace.
No one's going to want to be on your team.
You don't know about bobsledding like I do.
Your bobsled sounds more like one of those big, like, tall bags.
It's going to tip over all the time.
Oh, okay.
So suddenly you're the expert, Devon.
Yeah.
I think I know a little more about bobsledding than you do, having spoken to you and seen a photograph.
Now, what's the economics behind bobsledding?
How do you guys, do you need sponsorships?
Who's funding this?
Does the Canadian government step in and throw some loonies at it?
See what I did right there?
That was a good reference.
That was a good Canadian reference.
Well, you know, I've been around.
I've stayed at Martin Short's Lake Cottage.
That's where I know all this stuff.
Oh, yeah.
He's always saying, you have any loonies on you, Conan?
So that's where I picked it up.
Yeah, so a lot of Olympic sports are pretty underfunded.
Bobsleigh is certainly no different.
We do get some support, of course, and we are obviously very grateful for it.
And any support that teams do get, yeah, we're happy about it.
But usually, especially the last few years, it's been self-funded.
Devon, Devon, just ask him.
Just ask him.
Yeah, no.
So the main reason I'm here is because you put your face just on a side of a sled.
Just give us some money.
We'll slap it on there.
Would I really get if I could get some, you know, Cone O'Brien needs a friend podcast sponsors.
If I gave if I threw some dough your way, I could get a little bit of a sponsorship.
I could probably get you on a sled for sure.
I could get you connected with the right people.
That would be amazing.
But what if it's one of those things you know when it's a grim subject?
But if an airplane goes down, the company quickly covers the logo.
Have you ever found, you ever hear about that?
They like cover the logo of the plane because there's all this footage of it.
And they're like, cover up that logo.
The corporation, it looks bad.
So I'm just saying.
They're going to do that if they win.
And the winner is, hold on, they're covering up something.
Devon is quickly spray painting over an image.
Yeah.
You know what?
I have to talk to the people here that control the purse strings.
You'd think that would be me, but it is not.
It's Jeff Ross who seems to control these things.
He's a hard guy to get to.
You know what I mean?
It's tough.
It's tough to... You know how Jeff, he moves around so quickly.
He's always darting from room to room.
Yeah.
He's like an eel.
Conan, when did this become the Jeff Ross podcast and not the Conan O'Brien one?
I like this guy.
Devon, I see what Devon's doing.
He's getting me to say, Jeff Ross doesn't run things.
I'll pledge the money.
Yeah.
I think we have to look into this, Devon.
Who's the real boss around here?
Write a check.
Who wears the pants?
Who wears the pants?
How much do you need, Devon? whatever you want to give.
Yeah, and do it in kilometers.
Do you want it in Canadian dollar?
If you give us U.S. funds, we really would be thrilled.
What's the difference between, what's the exchange rate now between...
One Canadian dollar, 69 US cents.
Oh, is it that low?
Wow.
That's a little rough.
That's a little rough.
Sorry.
Did you bring your dog to the podcast?
That's upsetting.
That's a good one.
That's a pretty good one.
That's a good one.
Yeah, rough, rough.
What do you think of that exchange rate, pup?
Rough.
God, I'm killing over here with myself.
You're just hydrating.
Devon is hydrating.
He has to.
I know.
He's, I mean, you've, and also when you take a swig, it's the largest water bottle I've ever seen.
There must be at least 95.
Look at that thing.
And he's a big guy.
Imagine how big that thing is.
That's all the water I've had in my life.
But he just lifted up.
How do you even get into Bob?
You call it Bob slaying?
Bob sled, Bob slay.
It's the same.
Is it a slay or a sled?
I call it Bob sled.
I prefer it Bob sled.
It's because you can use it in lots of different ways.
Bob slay is very singular.
Yeah, Bob slay is if you use it to kill people.
Oh, God.
So, okay, I have another question here and then we'll come back around to the money.
I'll take care of the money.
Don't you worry about that.
What are you doing?
You're the third.
What is it you're doing in the bobsled other than just hanging on for dear life?
Are you shifting your weight at certain times?
Are you, or...
I mean, who's steering the thing?
Who's in charge of snacks?
I want to know what's going on in the very front that he he steers it.
I want no part of steering.
It seems like a lot of pressure.
I just have to exist for like five seconds pushing it.
And then I hop in and just the rest of the blame can go to the guy at the front after that.
So wait, so your contribution is pushing it and then jumping in and then hoping things go well.
Pretty much.
Like you try and get in like, so when you get in it's kind of like a I call it like a meathead ballet.
There's three big guys that are all trying to get in moving as fast as they can, and then it's like quick and in.
It's like, if you see it, it's very orchestrated.
It looks...
If the good, the teams that are good at it look very good when they do it.
Um, so it's like, you're very quick off the bunk and then in and down as low as you can.
And then when you're back there, you don't want to be shifting a bunch.
Cause if you got three guys shifting around in the back, the pilot will feel it.
So you're trying to just kind of stay as still as you can and stay as low as possible.
Stay very still, stay very low.
That's interesting.
I think I'd be trying to escape most of the time if I was in.
Which country, just for example, would you say is, what's the country that's dominant in this sport?
Germany is probably the most dominant in it.
Germany is for sure.
I bet it's because they've designed some crazily insane bobsled.
They genuinely do have their bobsleds at times.
We try and take a look at them, but they look very sleek.
They're very high-tech.
Have you ever checked it for an internal combustion engine?
I mean, I'm sorry.
I don't mean to impugn the Germans, but, you know, they make BMWs and Porsches and everything.
Have you checked to make sure?
I said Volkswagen.
I don't know why I chose Volkswagen.
Have you ever checked to make sure that there's not an eight-cylinder beautiful BMW engine in there?
And that's why they always win.
Have you noticed that they go uphill sometimes for 20 minutes?
I fear if I touch their sled, I would be... Yeah, they probably wouldn't like that.
I don't want to know what happened.
What color are they?
What are they sponsored by?
What's on their sled?
DHL was a big sponsor of ours.
That makes sense.
He said, not sure why.
It's like you're shipping something somewhere and it's got to get there fast.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, and you need four guys to wear tights and hug each other while it's delivered.
Who are your sponsors now?
Or in the past.
So the program has their own.
As far as, like, who we had last year, there's a lot of, like, local companies.
Because it's not a.
Especially in Canada it's not And like North America generally, it's not a well-covered sport.
Like you're not flipping through the channels and like oh, there's bobsled, unless it's the Olympics.
Yep.
So...
All those other years you're not going to see the sport typically unless people direct you right to it.
So it's not like a high coverage sport.
You're typically not selling people that, like tons of eyes, are going to get on the sled and see your logo.
You're more or less selling a dream of what you're competing for, which everyone who joins the sport is joining to for the most part.
Some people might not be, but almost everyone.
Everyone is joining to make the Olympics eventually.
So that's what you're selling when you're selling it to people.
Otherwise, yeah.
You can try and do what you can for social media sponsorship and give shout outs and stuff.
But otherwise, the coverage on it isn't super high.
Well, I'm going to tell you something.
So you're not selling that part.
If I can figure this out and if I do sponsor you guys, it's going to work the other way.
You're going to start getting eyeballs because my face is on that bobsled.
You see what I'm saying?
It's not, oh, I hope people tune in and happen to see my face.
When my face is on that bobsled, you're going to see viewership double quadruple.
And then the words that go higher.
But it won't work for, Like you can't, You're going to sponsor them for now, but when they go to the Olympics, it's just going to say Canada on it.
No, I'm going to get past those rules.
I'm going to... It's going to say Canada O'Brien.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Canada O'Brien.
And then just me in a Mountie hat.
Yeah.
Canada O'Brien needs a friend is what this lad will be called.
Devon.
Canada O'Brien.
I'm proud to meet you, Devon.
Yeah.
I'm proud to meet you.
And you seem like a fine fellow.
And I will, you know, we're going to think this over, but there could be a future in this.
Do you know what I mean?
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just, I would like to say I've been watching you since I was like nine.
I used to watch, I used to like stay up late and then I'd pretend to go to sleep.
And then I, I had this little like 15 inch tv in my room that i'd like quietly turn on when i was a kid and just like find the channel and watch it.
You know, i used to watch it all the time and like this is, to see you now talking directly to me is very like.
It's almost not about out of out of body experience for me.
So well, this is like quite literally a dream come true.
Well, thank you.
Next is yeah don't, don't mention anyone else.
It hurts it.
Um, You know Devon, I will say this.
When I started way back in the day, my best fans were Canadians.
Before Americans were liking me Canadians, I think Canada put me on their TV guide like three years before America did.
Because, Canadians I mean, I revere Canadian comedy and comedy.
Canadian comedians and SCTV.
And so you guys were always in my corner in the early days.
And so the image of you, you know, sneaking some Conan O'Brien illegally makes me really happy.
And so this is nice.
I'm glad I met you.
I'm going to talk to the money guys.
We're going to figure this out and I'm going to start to get in shape.
Perfect.
Yes.
I want to be killed.
You can always take a ride in a bobsled.
You head to Whistler or Lake Placid, they have tours for you.
No, no.
I'm going with you or with no one.
So it's you or no one.
All right.
Hey, Devon, very nice to meet you.
And I hope our paths cross down the road.
Okay.
Awesome.
Thank you very much.
Take care, man.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Conan O'Brien needs a fan.
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Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
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