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This is the second in a two-part series on softening negative replies.
Last time you worked on softening negative replies in conversations to keep the atmosphere friendly and cooperative.
Also, you practice refusing an offer of help and letting someone down gently.
Today, we'll be looking at refusing and disagreeing politely.
All these skills form part of a soft or gentle speaking style, which should form part of your communicative repertoire or toolbox.
You'll be listening to the dialogue from last time again.
So this is a chance to test your memory and review some of the things you learned last time.
As you listen, try to answer the following questions.
As usual, the answers will be posted on the website in a few days.
First, why is the GM of Avatek unable to meet with Nick on Thursday?
And second, how is the weather in Kiev?
So, Nick, is this your first time to Kiev?
No, it isn't, actually.
I was here two years ago.
Really?
How long did you stay?
Just a few days.
Business, you know.
Do you want a hand with one of your bags?
No, thanks.
I can manage.
So, have we got the meeting schedule worked out for tomorrow?
Actually, I just spoke to Avatek, and it looks like they want to do it on Friday now.
Really?
Yeah.
You don't think we could somehow convince them to move the meeting back up to Thursday, do you?
I'm not so sure about that.
I'm meeting some big clients on the Costa del Sol for a golf trip this weekend, so I was hoping to fly out early and make it there by Friday evening if possible.
Well, to be honest, I'm not sure they can manage that.
The GM of Avatek is keen to meet you, but he's tied up till Friday with some government visitors.
I see.
I guess there's nothing we can do about that, then.
You don't expect any other delays, do you?
No, of course not.
I'm sure they'll keep this meeting.
Good.
Wow, it's chilly here, huh?
Do you really think so?
We're having a warm spring.
Really?
I'd hate to see what a cold spring was like.
Don't worry.
The people are warm-hearted.
The car's over here, this way.
How did you do?
Did you remember most of the stuff you learned last time?
Remember, sufficient repetition and review is an important part of the learning process, so it would be good to listen back to previous dialogues once in a while to refresh your memory.
Where we left off last time.
Nick had asked if the meeting with Avatek could be moved back up to Thursday and Oksana had just begun preparing Nick for bad news by saying Last time.
We also practice other phrases for letting someone down gently, such as After Oksana begins to let him down gently, Nick gives the reason for wanting to move the meeting back up to Thursday.
Do you remember what it is?
He says he's meeting with some big clients for a golf game and wants to get out of Kiev on Friday.
How does Oksana respond?
Well, to be honest, I'm not sure they can manage that.
The GM of Avatek is keen to meet you, but he's tied up till Friday with some government visitors.
Here, we see Oksana skillfully refusing Nick's request.
She's already prepared him for a negative answer earlier by saying, I'm not so sure about that.
Now she needs to make the actual refusal.
Notice, as we saw last time, that she never actually uses the word no.
Well, to be honest, it's sufficient to signal that the reply will be negative.
Then she follows with a soft refusal.
I'm not so sure they can manage that.
Finally, she gives a reason.
She says, To be tied up with someone means to be busy with someone.
You can also be tied up with things.
For example, I'm tied up with work all weekend.
Oksana's use of this idiom is another skillful way in which she makes her negative reply softer.
Because idioms are part of casual and informal speech.
The idiom strikes a friendly and straightforward tone.
Also, idioms are persuasive because they're based on common experience.
We've all experienced being tied up with something, so the persuasiveness of idiomatic language is another great reason to expand your idiom vocabulary.
Now, let's listen to some more language that can be used to refuse requests.
That's really not possible, I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that wouldn't really work at the moment.
Well, let's get back to the dialogue.
How does it continue?
I see.
I guess there's nothing we can do about that, then.
You don't expect any other delays, do you?
No, of course not.
I'm sure they'll keep this meeting.
Oksana's no, of course not is another kind of no.
This is an emphatic no, delivered in a strong style.
She could also say, absolutely not, or of course not.
A strong, emphatic style is something that we'll look at in more detail in other podcasts.
Before we finish the show today, we'll just look at one more example of softening a negative reply, disagreeing politely.
Remember, Nick and Oksana don't agree about the weather in Kiev.
Nick thinks it's chilly or cold, but Oksana says it's warm.
Good.
Wow, it's chilly here, huh?
Do you really think so?
We're having a warm spring.
Really?
I'd hate to see what a cold spring was like.
Don't worry.
The people are warm-hearted.
The car's over here, this way.
Instead of using strong phrases such as I disagree.
Nick and Oksana ask questions to express disagreement.
This keeps the atmosphere friendly.
When Nick says, wow, it's chilly, Oksana replies by asking, do you really think so?
When it's his turn to disagree, Nick responds with another question, really?
Asking such questions is a good way to disagree politely.
We learned this and many other good strategies for disagreeing in BEP 29.
So that would be a good episode to review.
Here.
Let's just briefly go over some other key expressions you can use to express soft or polite disagreement.
Well, I'm not so sure about that, to be honest.
Well, I don't know.
Well, it depends.
I don't really agree, I'm afraid.
I can see what you mean, but to be honest I think there are one or two problems with that.
I'm afraid I don't totally agree with that.
Really?
Do you really think so?
Excellent.
Today you've learned several strategies for softening negative replies in some common social situations.
Now it's time to practice again.
After each beep, you'll hear a question.
Reply negatively, but do your best to avoid saying no directly and try to soften your response with some of the expressions we learned today.
Wow, isn't it a lovely day?
How'd you do?
Now, let's listen to some example answers.
Can I give you a hand with that?
No, it's all right.
Thanks.
Can you come out to dinner with us tonight?
We're having Italian, and everyone's going to be there.
Well, to be honest, I'm not sure I can manage tonight.
I'm all tied up with an important report.
But I'd love to come some other time.
Wow.
Isn't it a lovely day?
Do you really think so?
It's a little chilly, if you ask me.
And that about wraps up our show for the day.
You've practiced softening your negative replies in several places where a direct no is often impolite, such as during conversation or when refusing a request or offer of help.
These skills form part of a soft style of speaking.
A soft style is not appropriate for every situation, but it should form an important part of your communicative repertoire or toolbox.
Say, Clayton, you don't think you could go through that again, do you?
What?
This whole thing?
Yeah, there was quite a few parts I didn't quite catch.
Well, to be honest, actually, I'm afraid that'd be a little inconvenient right now.
I guess that's what the study notes are for.
That's right.
Don't forget to check out the study notes for this and other episodes.
They contain vocabulary explanations, extra language, and learning exercises.
And they're all available at www.businessenglishpod.com.
So thanks for listening and take care.
See you again soon.
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