This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 572, Afraid of Saying No?
How to Underpromise and Overdeliver in Business.
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Hey, Lindsay, how are you?
I'm doing pretty well, Michelle.
How's everything in your world?
Everything is going fine over here.
Lindsay, do you have trouble saying no to things?
Sometimes I do, yeah.
Sometimes I have this guilt, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Especially if I'm invited somewhere.
There's a little bit of a guilt of I really should go.
Maybe it's a good opportunity.
You know?
Yeah.
What about you?
Oh, yeah.
It's always tough.
I don't think it gets any easier, but it should.
It should be something that, with age and experience, you start to feel more confident just saying no.
I know.
Yeah.
But it's hard.
It's hard.
I mean, this reminds me of we were just talking about, you know, giving bad news.
So yeah, saying no or giving bad news can just feel like you're disappointing someone, like you're letting them down.
Yeah.
We were talking about giving bad news over on the All Ears English podcast.
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Okay yes, definitely.
So yeah, if someone asks you to do something and you just say no, right if i, if you ask me, and i'm like no, It sounds pretty harsh, right.
Especially for business.
Yeah.
Especially for business.
Yeah, for sure.
We would need that would be a little out of character.
Right.
For you, I think.
Yes.
Yeah.
So we're going to talk about how to essentially say no in a very in a polite business way, in a way that works professionally.
Yeah.
And so that the other person knows that you still care, that you're still invested, you have empathy.
So today we're going to share how to say no in this professional way without being awkward or harsh.
And this is similar to a previous episode we did on turning down business offers.
So that was episode 531, how to politely turn down offers in English.
But Lindsay, how was that different?
Obviously, this is different in a way.
So this episode is more general, right?
It teaches you how to avoid giving bad news, related not just to offers, but also meetings deadlines pricing, just about everything.
So it's more broad today.
Okay.
That's right.
Exactly.
So how can we give this news politely in English?
Yeah, so the key phrase is I'm afraid, right?
We can say I'm afraid and that can be followed by bad news.
So for example, Michelle, I'm afraid they didn't accept our proposal.
Oh, that's really a shame.
Yeah.
I feel like I hear this a lot in British English as well.
Do you feel like you do?
Yeah.
It is very polished sounding.
It's polished sounding, yeah.
It's also a nice way to say, no, I can't do something, right?
So we can do this by saying, I'm afraid, followed by the reason you can't do something.
So how might that sound?
Can we finish the portfolio today?
I'm afraid we won't have enough time.
Yes.
Oh, sorry.
Go ahead.
Can you join the call this afternoon?
Oh, I'm afraid I have another meeting at that time.
Yeah, it's just better than saying, again, like you said at the top of the show, no.
But yeah, but it's definitely, you know, because it's funny.
It doesn't actually have anything to do with fear, right?
When you hear afraid, you're thinking, oh, like, oh, I'm so scared.
I don't have enough time.
No, it's not.
It's not that way.
It's just saying, I regret.
It's like I regret this, or maybe the full phrase one day was i'm afraid to have to tell you that i have another meeting or something.
Maybe it's from that yes yep, but we never say we don't this all the day guys don't, don't misunderstand.
The phrase is i'm afraid right right, exactly.
But we can also say I'm afraid and reiterate what we can't do.
So did you review the revised budget?
I did, but I'm afraid I can't offer you that amount.
Right.
Yeah.
And you can even put it in a different place.
I mean, you can say, I can't offer you that amount, I'm afraid.
Right.
You could stick it on the end.
Maybe a little less common, but also could happen.
No, you're right.
You could totally do that.
And we hear that all the time with native speakers.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
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So some other ways that we might give disappointing news in business conversations, and the key art here is softening the blow.
Yeah.
Right?
What do we mean when we say, Michelle, softening the blow?
Making it less upsetting, right?
Yeah.
Make something less direct in order to make someone feel less pain.
Yeah, exactly.
So you could say, I won't be able to.
I won't be able to.
This is common in business.
It's calm.
It's respectful.
It's clear.
It's upfront.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you stay late to finish this tonight?
Oh, I won't be able to, but I can work on it first thing tomorrow.
And you know it's important to have these skills to push back in a professional neutral way, because some bosses might ask you to do this.
And if you say yes once, you'll probably feel like you have to keep saying yes.
Right.
Do you feel that you can say oh, I won't be able to like here in this example, I'm not giving any sort of excuse.
Do you think you have to say why?
No, I don't think you have to say why.
I don't think you're required to give an excuse in a professional context.
You can if you want.
Right.
But it should be enough just to say just to dress up your words a little bit.
Again, we're avoiding saying no.
But I think also that is, you need some sort of confidence to feel comfortable not giving a reason why you know, and I think that that actually shows confidence.
Yes.
Just being like No, like this is, you know, not going to work, but you're being very polite with it.
But I think sometimes, like there's always just this feeling of I have to say why I have to get.
You know, sometimes less is more.
You know, sometimes less is more.
It's more powerful.
Yeah.
In some ways, you kind of set the standard with how far you'll allow people to push you, right?
Yeah, exactly.
So here's another example.
Are you coming to the company picnic this weekend?
Oh, I won't be able to.
My son's birthday party is the same day.
So here I gave an explanation, but...
Yeah.
Okay.
And then, unfortunately and I think we've covered this on the podcast maybe over on Allers English a little bit.
This sounds a little more formal.
I guess it sounds maybe a little more formal than I'm afraid.
I personally think it sounds equally formal.
Yeah, I think it's about equal.
It's about equal.
I would say that.
Yeah.
So can we move the deadline to next Monday?
That's not possible with our current schedule, unfortunately.
So here's an example of putting it at the end of the sentence, right?
Or is there any flexibility on the price?
Unfortunately, that's the best offer we can make here.
I'm putting it in the front.
Yes.
Move it all around.
Move it all around.
Yes, exactly.
But yeah, that's a very common one.
So definitely useful.
So should we do a role play?
Yeah.
So here we're on the same work team.
We work at an investment firm.
Ooh, high pressure.
Yeah.
A client has asked us to make a last minute change on a presentation.
So that's a stressful moment, right?
Yep.
All right.
Let's hear how it sounds.
The client just emailed.
They're asking if we can send the revised deck this afternoon.
I saw that, but I won't be able to finish it by then.
I'm afraid updating the data will take at least a few hours.
That makes sense.
So when do you think you could have it ready?
Unfortunately, I also have a meeting this afternoon.
So realistically, I can have it done by the end of the day tomorrow.
Okay, I'll let them know.
And this is a reality of a lot of professionals in the corporate world.
There's work to do, but there's also a ton of meetings and you're not getting the work done when there's meetings.
Right, right.
So this is something people really run into a lot.
It's like, what do you do?
How do you get your work done if you're in meetings all day?
Right, right.
You know, exactly, exactly.
Yeah.
So yeah, that can be that can definitely be tricky scheduling things amongst all the meetings.
But yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So let's say you said the client just emailed.
They're asking if we can send the revised deck this afternoon.
And I said, I saw that, but I won't be able to finish it by then.
So I'm just saying...
It's very direct.
Yeah.
And you said, I'm afraid updating the data will take at least a few hours.
And that's interesting grammatically too.
I'm afraid doing something, right?
The gerund form there will take at least a few hours.
So that's interesting.
Just to note that grammar difference there, guys.
Yeah, definitely.
And then you said, so when do you think you could have it ready?
And I said, unfortunately, I also have a meeting this afternoon.
And then I like this.
So realistically, that could be a whole episode, right?
Realistically, I can have it done by the end of the day tomorrow.
Um, Yeah.
So you're just being direct and honest and saying what is actually possible.
Yeah.
Don't over promise and under deliver.
You should under promise and over deliver.
Okay.
That's a really good rule of thumb if you want to keep the respect of your colleagues, your managers, your boss, that kind of thing.
Right.
Right.
Yep.
Good.
Yep.
Exactly.
So check out episode 525.
That was what to do with your veto power at work.
That was a fun one about the word veto.
Veto power.
Veto.
Veto.
Yes.
And we talked about pronunciation there and we kind of came down differently I think on that one.
Yeah.
Um so guys disappointments people, you're always going to have to give sort of bad news and different ways at work that something can't be done.
The important thing is to be upfront.
Don't lead people on and think you can do it.
And then the day before it's due, you give them this news.
That is not the way to do it.
That's not professional, right? right?
Yeah.
Let people know in advance and be realistic.
Like just that's professional.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yep.
Exactly.
So use these whenever necessary when you're giving some sort of bad news or saying you can't do something.
These are definitely going to sound really polished, really good for business and get the point across.
All right.
Sounds good, Michelle.
We'll see you soon.
Take care.
All right.
Bye, Lindsay.
Bye.
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