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Yeah, my magic I know. I think this is the first time I've ever done an interview completely barefooted and certainly where the interview we's were also barefooted.
Thank you. My kind of I kind of talking.
I know it's nice. Not my kind of talking.
So what word do you all use?
Fiancé usually or because you can't use the word.
I just think partners the strangest word.
Yes. Yeah, because I meet now I meet grown business men and he's like this is my partner Jim and I don't know if they're in business together or if they're gay couple or their cowboys.
Yeah, stole my punch line.
I dare you. Did you ever at any point because I've read that you both have dated women right?
Yeah, yeah, good times.
Good times. Yeah. Yeah, where you where you that's explained that to me because you know, I have a gay friend who said that the only way you could have sex with a woman if a man's picture was on the headboard.
Wow. That's classy. So did you go out?
Did you date? Did you? I dated a fair amount.
I didn't really feel like I'm a liar and I'm gay and I'm doing this and I wish I wasn't but I did feel like it wasn't clicking like it was supposed to and I kept wondering if it was me.
Was it a bar? By date, I mean you actually like had sex with girls.
Yeah. Yeah, you too. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's crazy.
Oh, yeah. So did you think you were bisexual or is there such a thing?
You know, I think you know with the Kinsey scale.
I don't know if you're familiar with that.
Of course I am. I've done the Oprah show.
Hello. What? I. I. Wait a second.
No, but I think there is a range of scale of sexuality.
Yes, and I think you can go to one side or another.
I mean to fight this wall and win it.
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So tell me, would you have come out when you came out?
It had not been for Perez Hilton.
Well, probably not that at that time.
At that time. Yeah. But I certainly felt it was an inevitability at that time.
In 2006, Celebrity Blogger Perez Hilton accused Neil of living in the closet and publicly tried to out him in response.
Neil released a simple statement saying he was a very content gay man and living life to the fullest.
We would go to how I much of other events together.
Right. And everyone knew David and that we were a couple.
So I wasn't hiding anything.
But it was just never a big announcement that I was needing to make.
However, I felt like at a certain point red carpet things became complicated because I'd go down the red carpet.
If I went down the red carpet and he didn't go with me, it looked like a slight to him.
And if he went down the red carpet together, then it looked like we were making some sort of announcement.
And so it just always felt a little uncomfortable.
And isn't it interesting once you actually came out that was like a non starter like you're one of the few actors who's been able to come out and absolutely nothing happened to career.
Everybody's so afraid of making that announcement or letting people know.
When Neil announced he was gay, some Hollywood insiders thought his admission would ruin his career.
Instead ratings for how I met your mother continued to climb and Neil went on to win two Emmy awards.
For you, Fecta at all. I think only positively, honestly.
It allowed me to live more full body and not feel like I was going to be exposed.
I was kind of exposed. And you asked about the Perez-Belton question earlier.
And I think the reason that I made the statement when I did was because he was the catalyst because what he had done was posted a request for anyone that had ever any scandalous stories or had slept with me or whatever to come forward.
And talk about it so that it would out me.
And I didn't want to have to make that statement about my sexuality in response to a scandal.
And I think by doing so I ended up being able to stand a little bit taller and you know that that transparency and authenticity was kind of appreciated.
But no, I expected like the God hates fags guys on my front lawn the day after it happened.
Literally I was like peering through my windows.
And everyone was very indifferent about it.
Neil Patrick Harris says he knew he was gay at an early age.
But he didn't tell his mom and dad until he was in his 20s.
In their first television interview we talked to Neil's parents Sheila and Ron about that time.
I was surprised. I you know not not totally floored, not totally shocked, but it did come as a surprise to me.
I think I was disappointed, Sheryl.
I think it's just harder for dads.
I just think dads have aspirations for their sons that are deep within them that they don't even realize that they have.
I don't understand a lot of things about the gay lifestyle.
It is AIDS a problem. Is your son in danger?
You just worry about things more because you don't understand.
I think you know the more we learn about their relationship, about David, you can't help but become accepting.
They're a good couple. Just like heterosexual couples.
I hope they do get married someday.
I hope so too. I hope they are able to get married soon.
So what did your parents say when you told them that you wanted to have kids?
The impetus to have kids was because my mom passed away.
That's all she really wanted.
It was to be a grandma. David came out to his parents when he was in college.
Like Neil's father, David's father, Dan told us it took some time to accept that his son was gay.
It's very difficult to think of your son in a relationship with a man.
I come from a very strict Catholic background.
I'm sure that going to a Catholic school for 13 years might have something to do with the way I think.
It just took me a little while to pretty much put it into perspective and say, God, was I stupid for even thinking like that.
Dan was married to David's mom, Debbie, for 40 years.
In 2008, Debbie was diagnosed with leukemia.
She died just 20 days after being diagnosed.
Her grandchildren, Harper and Gideon, were born two years after her passing.
The one thing I regret most in my life is that his mother did not see where David's at right now with those two kids.
She wanted a grandchild so bad and she didn't get chance to see it.
On the day Debbie died, her family, including David and Neil, were at her bedside.
I remember David and just the immediate family was there and we were saying, I'll ask you to watch.
I remember saying that you'll never see my kids.
We're going to have kids, but you're never going to see our kids.
I remember putting my hands around Neil and telling him, Neil, I'm so glad you're here because I consider you to be my son-in-law and I feel that way to this day.
I think that's where maybe I realized how closely we're and how close he was going to be to our family.
You know what's interesting?
We talked to your dad and he said that you two are doing better than most couples that he knows or has ever heard of and he thinks that you two should be married and that you deserve to be married.
Can you imagine that at this time in your life your father is saying those words when years ago you didn't think that could happen?
It's amazing. So lucky, so fortunate.
So you've been very lucky that way.
I think a lot of kids are raised strongly in the opposite direction.
My dad was sort of kind of right in the middle.
He was raised conservative, military, Republican.
So he wasn't like a vocally dismissive of all of it, but he was very kind of, let's wait and see how it turns out.
Have you all thought about what you're going to tell Harper and Gideon about having two daddies and not two mommies and the first time they come home and say whoever their friend is, they have a mommy, why don't I?
Yeah, well, we're going to tell them information, like I want them to have information.
And I think the way that they were brought into this world was very unique and weirdly scientific and the technology involved in it I think is remarkable.
But it came because we really, really wanted kids.
Yes. Like we really had thought it through financially, emotionally, relationship-wise.
Like we didn't just accidentally get pregnant and decide that now we need to make this work.
Like these kids come into our world with nothing but love.
I just had an aha moment that almost made me tear up there just a little bit.
You know what? I just realized what you were saying.
I had an aha moment. Nice.
Because same-sex couples in order to have a child, I mean, you've really, really, really got to do a lot of work to make that happen.
And so if you're a same-sex couple that has a child, it means that child is so loved and so wanted.
You just saying that just went, Bing, Bing, Bing.
I never thought of it that way before.
I'm so glad that you took it that way.
And we want to impart our wisdom and grow up with a family and have kids and- It's one of you more maternal.
That would be me. For sure.
Really? Yeah. I'm the more maternal.
Yes. Yeah, I didn't love the first six, nine months.
You didn't. No. And I struggled with it a lot.
You did. You did? In therapy with my own therapist.
I'm so happy to hear you admit that because that is my, you know, I have God children.
I'm like, I'll see them when they're two.
Well, that's just it when they're so wonderful and they're just crying.
Then I just, yeah. I didn't know, I don't know what's wrong.
And I try to soothe you and you're still crying.
And I know that he's more maternal and is much more intuitive with that.
And so I would pass off and then, you know, like fix the crib.
But like, like clean the dishes or I do my work.
I wouldn't just vanish.
Yeah. But I would like, I would try to provide.
But I didn't feel like I was bonding with them.
Oh, interesting. Which was okay because I still feel like my strengths will come when it's like, Papa, let's build a fort.
Yeah. I love forts. Let's do that.
But I need to know that they want to build a fort.
Yeah. Or tell me what's wrong or have a conversation.
I think that that's where my strengths will be more in the forefront.
So I, you know, do you want more kids or is too enough?
Oh, don't start with this conversation.
Come on. David. I want to, I want a ton of kids.
That's a gaggle. You do?
Oh, yeah. But David, isn't too just perfect?
You got the boy in the girl.
It's what I said. They're healthy.
It's too. It's one of each.
You can have one. You can have one.
You can keep your eye on two.
I was told you're not really a family until your kids outnumber you.
Oh, my goodness. You need to take that out of your head.
That's just something you told yourself or somebody told you.
All of our copious free time will have more children.
But you guys really are the modern family.
You really are the modern family.
We're the new nuclear family.
We put the new and new key.
Okay, so tell me how difficult is this?
You know, a lot of marriages be they Hollywood or not with artists.
There's conflict when one person is more famous than the other.
Hello, Mr. Garbage trucks out there.
But we're in the neighborhood that we just have to keep going because we're in the neighborhood.
It's a real interview. Okay.
Garbage day. Of course it's garbage day.
Are you happy for his successes?
Yes. There are some things that are brought up when he gets to do theater, when he gets to go back to New York.
That's when it's hard for me.
That's when I'm having a hard time.
Two days ago. Oh, yeah. What?
Two days ago, the Tony's denominations were announced.
And I got to hear the nominees the night before because I'm hosting this year.
I came back very excited and told David all that I knew and the nominees.
And I was expecting him to be equally as enthusiastic about that.
And in turn, and understandably, it's just sort of bummed him out.
Because... Let me throw a shame, Spiral.
I'm getting to go to New York and do lots of theater and be doing that.
And he's, you know, in LA with the kids doing not that.
But that raises the question of can it be depressing if one person's career is doing this and yours is not?
When we met, we were both doing Broadway shows in New York.
And it was a real high point.
And then I got here in Los Angeles thinking, oh, I'm going to get a TV show.
I'm going to get a movie, no problem.
And it didn't happen for me.
And I went into a pretty severe depression about it all.
So is that why you went off to La Coda and Blue?
Yes, it was. I was frustrated with business.
I was frustrated with not getting jobs.
And I thought, I'm not happy in my life.
And you make your own happiness.
You make your own joy. And I need to do something that's going to fulfill me.
And that was really special to me, especially being in this town.
Yeah. I have something.
I still have something.
It's still a skill. It's never going to go away.
What do you feel most yourself?
Oh, being a dad. Yeah. For sure, being a dad.
Really? I feel like out of all these things that I do, I do a lot of things.
I do a lot of things, but not a lot of things.
Great. But I think I do parenting.
You're a great dad. It's hard.
It's not only hard being two actors in a relationship, but also being two men in a relationship.
Yeah. That's a big deal.
And we share a wardrobe and we share where this, you know, we're both demonized.
So we're very similar. We're the same size, same shoe size.
Yeah. But we don't really share underwear.
That's true. We draw the line somewhere.
We draw the line somewhere.
But I think the interesting point of that is that we're so similar in so many ways that then when career things are in different trajectories, at different times, it makes it more, I don't know, it seems like it's more significant.
But it's more and happy in your life, did it make for an unhappy relationship?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Were you taking that out and was that reflected in the relationship?
Oh, for sure. Yeah. And in the acting industry, it's so difficult and it's, there's so much rejection at every level.
Los Angeles has a town where you're just never quite enough.
You get the audition, you get the call back, but you don't get the job.
You get the call, you get the job and then you get recast.
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