This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2616.
That's on me, admitting mistakes without making it awkward.
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Hey, Lindsay, how are you?
I'm feeling pretty good today, Michelle.
I'm doing well.
Yeah.
What are we talking about on the show today?
Well, did you make dinner reservations for tonight?
Oh, no, I forgot.
That's on me.
Oh, okay.
We'll have to do takeout.
Lindsay, do you feel like you make a lot of mistakes?
Or do you usually admit to them?
Do you admit to them?
I make a lot of mistakes.
And yeah, I usually try to admit to them.
I mean, sometimes I play games and stuff with my partner and you know, try to I don't know, maybe not always fully own up.
Right.
But in general in life it's good to own up to your mistakes and say something like that's on me or that was my fault.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Do you mean you're you mean playing literal games like you're actually playing games?
I don't know.
Like maybe it's like, oh, who did like whose fault was it really?
You know, like just sort of that.
I don't know.
Oh, I don't know anything about that.
Right.
I don't know what you're talking about.
But that's just for fun, just for fun.
Yeah, exactly.
So yeah, we can talk about, you know, owning up to our mistakes, saying something is our fault, but in a casual way, which is what we're getting into today.
So we can do this by saying phrases like that's on me, which is what you used about the dinner reservation.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, essentially, it means what, Michelle?
What does it mean?
Yeah, it means it's my fault.
I did it.
Yeah, something was my responsibility and I messed it up.
It's not dramatic.
It's a relaxed way of saying I made a mistake.
It's a nice, natural, native way to say that.
Yeah, right.
And yeah, this is huge for connection.
Because when you take accountability calmly, right, you can show the self awareness.
And it's the opposite of defensiveness, which really kills the connection.
Exactly.
If you're always defensive and blaming someone else in a serious way for something, that's not good.
That's never going to build a relationship.
Right.
Guys, before we go any further in the episode, if you are not currently following the show, if you're an Apple podcast or Spotify, you do want to hit that follow button so that we drop right into your listening queue and you don't have to come after us and find our show.
We'll drop into your queue every morning, almost every morning, Michelle, five days a week.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, lots of episodes.
That's great.
Lots of fun content and useful.
So, Lindsay, how would we use that's on me?
Oh, it's a casual phrase, like we said, but it can be used in both professional and personal situations.
We've always been saying over on Business English, our other podcast, we always say We don't become robots when we swipe our card and go into our workplace, right?
We remain human beings.
So that's why a lot of phrases are useful professionally and personally.
So here's a professional example.
The report wasn't ready for the meeting.
I thought the meeting was tomorrow.
That's on me.
See, it sounds to me very mature when you say that.
Yeah, I do like that it's self-aware.
Self-aware.
Or you said you'd call last night.
Yeah, that's on me.
I dropped the ball.
Okay.
And a lot of times when we say it, we also do give some sort of short reason.
So like, like this, did you lock the door when we left?
Oh no, that's on me.
I got distracted by my phone.
Oh, come on.
I mean, gotta lock the door.
It's a slippery slope between.
In this case this doesn't feel like an excuse, but it could feel like an excuse.
So just be careful when you give a reason after.
If you always find yourself giving a reason or with a defensive voice, then that might be like defeating the purpose of accepting the responsibility.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Like, Oh, that's on me.
Sorry.
I like, I was so busy or that's on me.
I, I just, I, Couldn't remember all the things, you know, something like that.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But what else can we use here?
We're going to do one that's even more casual.
Even more casual.
This one's really casual.
Maybe avoid this at work.
It's pretty casual.
My bad.
My bad.
Yeah, yeah.
This one I think is more for the kids.
I don't know if the kids still say it.
I don't know.
I don't say my bad.
I might as a joke.
Oh, my bad, right?
So it still exists.
It was trendy when we were kids.
Exactly.
Right.
Is what you're saying.
Yeah.
Right.
Exactly.
So I don't know if it's so much that our generation has moved it up or if the younger generation took it over.
Probably not because they... say things I have no idea what they're talking about I feel like I still say it to be honest sometimes just being a teenager forever I don't know there's some remnants of our teenagehood that we never drop as adults right that we just carry on and it's a personal thing like maybe certain things you've carried on and I haven't Um, but yeah, we should wait, hold on, Lindsay, I'm going to ask you to do an experiment because this could be a good future episode.
Okay.
If you use an expression in your daily life that you're like oh, that's like uh, kind of like from when I was young, like a kid.
Write it down and let me know because maybe we can do some research and I'll do the same thing.
Maybe I'll ask Aubrey too, and we can talk about some of the things that we realize have carried over into adulthood.
I love it.
It's so good.
That would be a brilliant episode.
Guys, hit the follow button if you love that idea.
We can see phrases that cross decades.
They carry on for a lifetime because...
For some reason, we identify with them, but maybe young kids don't use them anymore.
So I doubt the six, seven crowd is using the my bad phrase, right?
I don't think so.
Oh, six, seven.
Yeah.
So, okay.
How would this sound?
Hey, we're running late.
Oh, my bad.
I lost track of time.
Nice.
Or the very literal, I messed up.
Okay.
So this one can be casual or stronger depending on the situation.
Right.
So you can use it in a serious way.
Like I messed up.
I'm, you know, really messed up here.
Right.
Yeah.
I forgot.
We went hiking and I forgot something really important, like a compass.
And now we're like in the middle of Arizona, in the desert, or something really bad, really bad like this
I think we're lost.
Yeah, I messed up.
I took a wrong turn back there.
Well, you're still owning it, right?
At least you're owning it.
You're welcome.
Okay.
Nice.
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So what's the tone of the phrase?
Michelle, these phrases.
Yeah.
I would say relaxed, confident.
It also.
They also kind of lower the tension because they are a little more casual and showing you're just saying yeah, like I know, like That's that's, I did it.
Right.
So in that way, it prevents arguments because it's not necessarily defensive or angry.
So I think that it's they're really useful.
So can should we do a role play?
Michelle, how about the next one?
How about the first role play here?
Yeah.
OK, so here we go.
Um, you forgot to feed the dog.
Oh, my bad.
I'll do it now.
So that's a little thing.
But yeah, the the power of admitting you've done something is huge.
Right?
Exactly.
Or we're late again.
That's on me.
I need to work on my time management.
Yeah, not good.
Getting a high stakes here with these role players.
Yeah, exactly.
Or for everyday mistakes.
You know, these are great for everyday mistakes, not necessarily huge apologies that have caused for something with serious harm.
So something like this.
We're out of eggs.
Ooh, my bad.
I didn't go grocery shopping.
Yes.
Or you never replied to my texts.
That's on me.
I was busy and it slipped my mind.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We were talking about this when we were recording last week is like a good method that I use is when I have a text that comes in, I mark it as unread, to make sure I get back to people.
Yeah.
And you reply to people in your mind.
Right.
Yes, it's amazing.
Maybe one day they'll have it where you can text with your mind.
That would be really helpful to me.
I would be texting everyone back right away, but when I have to actually use my fingers...
It's a lot of work.
It's a lot of work for sure.
All right.
Role play time, Michelle.
So here we're living together and we're starting our morning at home trying to make a cup of coffee.
Trying.
All right.
You got to have your coffee in the morning, right?
Oh my gosh.
All right.
I think we're out of coffee again.
Oops.
My bad.
I forgot to add it to the shopping list.
Nah, that's okay.
Shall we grab a coffee on the way to work?
Well, you haven't showered yet, so I don't think we have time.
Oh, you're right.
Now that's on me.
I kept hitting snooze on my alarm.
Now...
If you really did forget to add the call.
I'm imagining if Dan did this and he forgot to get to.
I mean, I was kind of like, if you could hear it in my tone, like I don't think, I would just be like Oh, that's okay.
And now we don't even have time to get coffee.
I would probably be in an absolute panic.
Maybe we're roommates and we just moved in together and we're trying to maintain our sense of respect, but soon it'll go off the rails.
Yeah, but if there's no coffee, Lindsay, really, you've got to get it together.
That's number one on the shopping list.
Yeah, you've got to start your morning with coffee.
It's the greatest thing.
Um, so, so here we go.
So, but at least we're both owning our mistakes, right?
So you said, I think we're out of coffee again.
And I said, oops, my bad.
I forgot to add it to the shopping list acting like, uh, I don't know you very well yet.
Maybe.
Right.
Yeah.
It's funny because like even reading this now, I, for some reason, Lindsay, a little annoyed at you.
Um, because I just like, how could you do that?
I'm taking it too seriously.
I'll get over it.
Okay.
Um, and then you said, well, you haven't showered yet.
So I don't think we have time.
Um, and I said, you're right now that's on me.
I kept hitting snooze on my alarm.
Yes, I love that.
I love that.
Really good stuff.
I mean, guys, there's another episode of All Ears English to check out.
It is 2557.
Can't help it.
How imperfection leads to connection.
So this is again on the tone on the topic of mistakes and things you can't stop yourself from doing.
Right.
Sort of in the same vibe.
Michelle, what is our takeaway for today?
Yeah, well, I mean, being able to admit your mistakes builds trust in relationships.
So phrases like that's on me.
It's a calm and confident way to do this.
And we give you lots of other ones. to use.
But if somebody does forget to buy the coffee, that's when things get serious.
So that's all.
Yeah.
I also think that the things you do right away, when something goes wrong, really matter, because you can go in two directions.
Things could escalate really quickly and there could be a full blowout fight, you know, or.
We don't want that.
Or someone could be the responsible party, own it, and then you could maintain the connection.
So this is huge, actually, for connection.
Yeah, that's right.
All right, Lindsay.
Well, I'm glad we talked about this today.
I will never forget your coffee.
I promise.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Now that I see the steaks, I mean, I will be careful.
The steaks are very hot.
All right, Lindsay.
Good talking to you.
Now let's go drink some coffee.
Talk to you later.
All right.
Bye.
Bye.
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