This is an All-Ears English Podcast Episode 2256.
Is it good or bad to be stubborn?
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Do you know anyone who's stubborn?
Today, get new ways to say this and listen to our conversation about this personality trait in English.
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Hey, Lindsay, how's it going?
It's going well, how are you?
I'm good, Lindsay, I have a question.
Okay, I'm ready. Go for it.
Do you know anyone who is stubborn?
I think a lot of people could be stubborn.
My mom can be kind of stubborn.
She always has been that way.
What about you, anyone in your life?
Yeah, I mean, I guess everybody has their moments, right?
I'm not thinking of any one in particular, but maybe I am a little bit, and I don't want to say it.
But I think we all have our moments, right?
Yeah, we like to dig in, right?
We have our opinions, our ways that we think things should be done, and we don't always want to compromise.
You know, right? Yep, yep, yep.
Yeah, for sure. I mean, this is related to potentially siblings.
It can be very stubborn, right?
Which is, we did do another episode about that, Michelle.
That was 2245. Do you have a sibling?
So guys, go and over, check out that one after today's episode, right?
Because it could complement this episode.
Definitely. Yes, siblings could be stubborn.
Yeah. But, and guys, as always, remember to hit follow on the all-erasing live podcast wherever you listen to us so that you never miss anything.
Yeah, what about you, Michelle?
So you said you yourself, you could be a little stubborn at times, right?
Is it like around certain people or at certain times when you're tired, for example?
What would you say? I recently saw something that said, this isn't necessarily that, but I said, I saw, you ever seen now when you were walking around outside of stores, especially clothing boutiques, where they have a chalkboard and it says some sort of cute saying.
So I saw one the other day that made me laugh and it said, I'm sorry for the things I said when it was 90 degrees.
Yeah. That is so true. Do you get moody when it's super hot?
Yes, last week, it was up to 100 and like multiple days in the week and my AC and my office doesn't work very well.
So yeah, I got moody, I got irritable, I got tired, I was intense, yes.
Yes, that might be, somebody maybe wouldn't be stubborn, maybe when they're feeling very uncomfortable physically or emotionally, they could become stubborn.
It's true. It's true. You know what I have to ask Dan, what I'm stubborn about, I'm sure there are things.
I think kids can be stubborn for sure.
Are you stubborn, Lindsay?
I can be stubborn, but I've been learning to compromise over the last few years.
I think I'm getting better at it, I'm trying.
Yeah. I just, I have certain ideas, but then I will listen and compromise and like I just want, I want people to, everyone to feel like they're being heard most of the time, but then sometimes I just, yeah, want things my own way.
So that is being stubborn.
I wonder if it's easy to identify yourself as being stubborn because now that I'm thinking about it, I think hard.
Well, I'm not stubborn now, but I can't think of any situation in which I'm stubborn, but it's a good point.
It's a good point. I wonder if it's something that you can even identify in yourself that much.
I mean, might be, I guess you have to really take a, really get introspective and think about yourself.
Yeah, no, it's a good point.
It's, maybe it's one of those things you can't really see outside of your own mind on.
Right? Yeah. Right. We're two now Michelle.
What else? Today, we are going to talk about this word and how to talk about people with these traits in English.
So Lindsay, we've been using this word stubborn, stubborn, stubborn.
What if our listeners don't know what that means?
What does it mean to be stubborn?
You've said some of these things already.
It basically just means you want things to happen the way you think it should happen.
Your way, you want to get your way is the expression.
You won't change easily when you realize someone else wants something else.
You just want it your way.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, even I'm thinking even about food habits, right?
Sometimes somebody could be stubborn.
They only want to eat a certain thing and they don't, you know, they're inflexible.
They don't want to try a new kind of food.
So that's what made me think of as well.
But, Lindsay, are stubborn people strong?
No, I think it's the opposite, actually.
No, I think they're weak because, well, who is stubborn all the time?
No one, right? We have moments of weakness, which is in my mind being stubborn because it means that you, like, I think compromise is strong, right?
Like understanding you're not the only person that exists.
That's why kids are stubborn because they don't always understand others' existence and needs.
Others' needs, right? They can't always take that into account.
Yeah, they're not there yet.
They're not there yet. Yeah.
So I actually think it's the opposite of strong being stubborn as an adult, as a kid.
You know, they get a pass because they were there learning that.
What does that mean to get a pass?
They get a pass. They get to get a pass.
We can forgive it the first time.
And then we start to teach them, I suppose.
I'm not a parent. You can tell us, Michelle.
I suppose we start to teach them about compromise and other people's needs in the world.
Yeah. So to get a pass in general means, you get an excuse.
You don't have a consequence because there's some sort of reason.
So for kids, they get a pass because their kids and their brains aren't fully developed.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Cool. What about it? Is it yeah?
So Lindsay, but when could it be good to be stubborn?
I guess, for example, at work, and let's say you're a designer and you're on a team with a bunch of developers and they don't know design.
You know that you've designed something that is good, according to good design principles.
But everyone has an opinion when it comes to design, which I think is can be hard.
You design a website. You're going to get 20 different opinions if you ask 20 different people.
But like you've gone to school for design, you understand what makes people convert on that website.
And so you would push back.
You might be a little, maybe the word in the professional world wouldn't be stubborn.
It would be something else.
But you might push back a little bit, right?
Right. Or actually in the medical field, you know, sometimes people, there's a lot of, can be a lot of distrust with doctors or the science.
So doctors sometimes probably have to be a little bit stubborn to explain their, well, or the patients are stubborn.
Someone's stubborn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Yeah, for sure. Because the doctor's gone to school.
Right. But yeah, oh my gosh, people, I can imagine that could be hard for a dentist or a doctor.
Yeah, right. Yeah, good, good, so I mean, but, you know, if you need to achieve your goals and your stubborn about that, sometimes it could work out for you sometimes not.
But it doesn't always work if you're working with people and just not being flexible that could get you into trouble.
Yes, I agree, for sure. I mean, compromise is kind of the definition of becoming an adult.
Learning how to not necessarily always get what you want.
If you get part of what you want and you make sure everyone else is being accommodated for.
Yep, that is becoming an adult.
Yeah, absolutely. So let's just do an example sentence just to give another one here.
I want her to get her homework done before seven, but she's being incredibly stubborn.
Oh, not good. Yeah, so that might be a teenager, right?
Right, right, right. So they don't want to do it.
Maybe she wants to be with her friends.
She's playing on her phone, whatever it is.
Yes. Let's go over some other ways to say this.
Lindsay, what's the first one?
Go headstrong would be another way to say this.
He's a very headstrong person, but sometimes it gets him into trouble at work.
Yeah. And we could do another episode, another day about the way you would frame it in the business world.
It's going to be a little different.
These are more about a personality in everyday life.
But in the business world, as we said, the design or pushing back, there might be other ways to say that.
Don't you think that would take the emotion out of it a little bit more?
Right. Yeah, I think that's a good point.
I work at it. You might use some different words.
I don't know that I would use stubborn in the workplace.
And that's a serially you could.
But yeah, there might be some more specific words that could be helpful.
That could be interesting to go into another day.
Guys, go by the way and check out our business English podcast and hit follow over there.
And we'll get to this topic at some point.
Yes, we will. And so also there's strong willed.
Yes. Yes. She's so strong willed.
But it's a good thing because we really need a confident leader right now.
Yeah. So depends on, right, like, is that leader listening to signals from the world or from their team or just in general or they just have their own ideas.
They're just running with it, you know?
Right. Right. So sometimes let's say somebody's on your team and they're dealing with somebody else.
So let's say there's your team at work and this person is dealing with another client.
Yes. So your team actually needs this person to be strong willed.
It helps you deal with that other person.
Yes. So that could be helpful, right?
It all it depends on the context.
For everything. Oh, for sure.
And then the next one is stubborn like an ox.
My daughter is stubborn like an ox.
She always needs to get her way.
Yes. I guess the characteristics of an ox would be just like plowing through.
Right. Right. Plowing through or just not paying any attention to anyone else.
They're just going to get what they want and they're going to keep moving forward.
Yeah. That's what an ox does.
That's what an ox does. No.
OK, Michelle. What would be the opposite?
This is interesting. We could get into some discussions here around gender, too, if we have time.
But what would be the opposite of stubborn?
Right. Well, I thought of two that really seemed appropriate here.
The first one is agreeable.
What do you think about this one, Lindsay?
When I see this word, it makes me think of, unfortunately, what I think women are taught to be, you know, inner society, maybe less now, maybe the way that girls are being raised is different.
But I think for our generation, 80s, 90s, agreeableness was a highly praised trait for a girl growing up.
And I don't think the same is true for boys.
So yeah, I'm just getting into some real gender stuff.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it is possible. Yeah, that women growing up are taught to be softer and not cause as much trouble.
Oh, yeah. People could learn this from a young age, for sure.
For sure. So here's a sample sentence.
I wasn't sure if she would be up for throwing a surprise party, but she was really agreeable.
And in this case, it's actually being used more in a specific moment.
It doesn't mean the person is agreeable.
Yeah, exactly. So that's not as offensive to me.
OK, good. It's just in that part.
If you're saying they're agreeable in one moment, it doesn't necessarily, they could be agreeable one moment or stop her in the next.
Yeah, exactly. And then what's, I like the next one, what's this one?
This is super common. To go with the flow.
Yes, yes. I tend to go with the flow.
I'm good with whatever.
Is that true about you, Michelle?
Or do you usually need to have an agenda?
Let's say you have a Saturday or a weekend trip.
Do you like to plan it out?
Or do you go with the flow?
See where the wind takes you.
Oh, I'm so. I actually think I'm almost like an anti-planar.
Yeah. Yeah. Nice to be open.
Yeah, I always go with the flow.
We'll just wake up in a Saturday morning and what are we doing?
And sometimes I don't like to have things too much on my schedule.
It makes me feel like a little boxed in.
Not, I mean, I basically, yeah, I like to go with the flow.
I like to see what happens.
What about you? I like a balance.
It's good to know something I'm doing in a given day.
Yeah. A few goals, maybe goals or things I want to see or want to do.
But then the in-between, or if I want to just say, forget it, I don't want to do that thing.
I want to have that flexibility.
So I would say then, yeah, I'm not totally, oh, I never want anything.
I guess the way you're describing it describes me a little bit.
It's nice. It's always nice to have a few things.
Yeah. It's a good idea, but yeah, then it's flexible.
I don't even really love to make reservations.
I mean, it has changed my mind.
Well, these people feel like a lot of restaurants don't even have, they don't allow reservations anymore.
Yeah. You have to show up.
And then that's true. You're a whole party.
That's sort of thing. So that's a good point.
All right, let's do a role play here.
Michelle, you and I are talking about a dinner that we recently had with friends.
So here we go. It was such a great time.
Oh, definitely. It was great to see everyone after so long.
I'm just glad we finally decided on a place.
Sophie was so stubborn about restaurants.
Yeah, she tends to be a bit headstrong.
Luckily, most others were pretty agreeable.
Yeah, I usually go with the flow over restaurant choices, but yeah, she was being stubborn like an ox.
Well, the fact that she's so strong-well is probably why she's so successful.
That's true. Yeah, that's interesting.
Certainly, you need a some amount of stubbornness.
I'm not sure if I would call it stubbornness to be successful.
Maybe grit. I love the word grit.
Oh, that's a good one. We could bring in grit.
Another good is more sure.
That kind of is in the same ball field as stubbornness, but that's one we'd probably bring up on the business English podcast, actually.
Great. Yeah, for sure. That's a good one.
Yeah, definitely. Okay.
What'd you say? I said, I'm just glad we finally decided on a place.
Sophie was so stubborn about restaurants.
So maybe she said, oh, I don't want this one because it's this.
I don't want that one. It was, she was picky in this situation.
Sure. And then I said, yeah, she tends to be a bit headstrong.
Luckily, most others were pretty agreeable.
Right? So most of all just went with the flow.
And then you said, oh, the flow.
Yeah. Yeah. I said, I usually go with the flow over restaurant choices, but yeah, she was being stubborn like an ox.
And we talked about the ox, the way the ox moves, lowing.
Yeah. Well, the fact that she's so strong-willed is probably why she's so successful.
And strong-willed is another, another great way to say it, right?
Strong-willed. Yeah. I think strong-willed.
That's a good business one too.
Sometimes you do find that people are, and also not just about strong-willed with the business, but sometimes the people who live the long list are the most strong-willed or the most stubborn.
Do you have, do you have, do you have anybody who's like really old who's stubborn?
Yeah, it could be true. It could be true for sure.
And then other words are coming up like adamant, but let's not give away all the words for the business show.
Okay. We'll come back to it.
Yeah, I think probably people who, yeah, maybe they're very rooted in life.
They have the things they love to do.
They want to live their lives the way they say they want to.
They maybe live longer.
Maybe. I don't know. I find the people that my grandmother was, woo, I love my grandma, but she was very strong wild.
She lived in her 90s. Another great aunt of mine.
She was extremely stubborn and she made it to past 100.
So something, I feel like these people don't, I don't know.
Yeah. It's pretty funny.
Interesting. Hey, there we go.
So if you want to live a long time, be stubborn.
Yeah. That's the key. All right.
Good stuff. All right, Michelle.
Guys, hit that follow button and especially hit follow on business English to go over and find the business version of these words because they do need to be a little bit different.
Less about the character more about the project that you're working on the work that you're doing, right?
We want to come away from character go more towards work and performance.
So yeah, good stuff. Michelle, you have a good day.
I'll talk to you soon. Thanks.
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