This is an All Ears English podcast episode 2039.
With all due respect, don't make this mistake in English.
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Hey there, Aubrey.
What's going on today?
You might notice my background's a little different.
I'm in Idaho at my parents.
I come here every summer because they have beautiful, cool weather all summer long.
Oh my gosh, escaping the heat.
You look like you're in a little cabin, a little cabin in the woods.
Is that right?
Yes, my dad's art studio behind their home, and it is a log cabin.
It's really fun and rustic.
That's amazing.
That's amazing.
And you know, getting out into nature helps us kind of just sort of respect the world, respect the natural world right.
I mean, don't you think?
Don't you feel that way when you're up in Idaho?
Yes, absolutely, right?
I was just telling Lindsay, I definitely gained a lot of respect for the natural world.
We went on a hike in Escalante and didn't take enough water.
Just a PSA guys take plenty of water out on every hike or we start to really respect how brutal the sun can be, right.
Yes, completely.
Oh my gosh.
Brutal.
I love that part of Utah.
I love that part of the country.
I think that actually is my favorite part of our entire country, but it is no joke, right?
When you go out there, it's mother nature, raw mother nature.
It's so true.
Oh, I love that phrase you threw in to say something is no joke.
I'm going to pull that for the app for sure.
You guys, we say that all the time to say that something is serious, to say it is no joke.
It's no joke.
So speaking of that, we're talking about respect today, right?
But in a slightly different way, what are we getting into today?
Did this come out of a class you had with a student?
Yes, right.
You guys are familiar with the verb respect, right?
But I had a student who made the mistake of saying I'm impressed by how those children show respects to their parents and just added an S to respect.
And then, when I corrected her, we were talking about how she had heard show respects or pay respects.
And I said, oh, it's interesting.
This is actually very high level.
Pay respects means something else.
So we're going to talk about these phrases.
They're so useful in English.
Ooh, I love it.
Today's episode is all about respect.
Such an important thing in our world today.
But first, what do we want to let our listeners know that they should do right now?
The first action of the day.
Right, guys, be sure to hit follow right here on the All Ears English podcast.
If you just willy nilly listen to an episode here and there or have stumbled upon us, go ahead and hit that follow button.
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Yeah, willy nilly.
That's another great one.
I say that a lot, willy nilly.
Lots of great vocabulary that's going to be going in the iOS Android app from today's episode.
I love how on this show, just that natural vocabulary just comes up for our listeners.
So guys, write these down, right?
Write them down.
So where do we start today, Aubrey, with respect?
What is the first phrase we want our listeners to know about?
Yeah, the first one we'll talk about is that pay respects.
So whenever you have the verb pay collocated with respect, this is a very simp different, a different meaning than showing respect and this.
What does that mean, lindsay?
To pay your respects or to pay respects?
Yeah, this is usually related to death, right?
So it's when someone uh generally, i think, is that right?
Would you agree with that operation?
When someone dies, right?
So usually some kind of an event.
Actually coincidentally, we're having a celebration of life in California this weekend for my aunt.
So we're putting on a whole event where everyone in the community is coming.
I made a slideshow.
I'm doing a speech.
We're doing a whole thing where people can come by and pay their respects to my aunt.
Yes.
And what that means is, you know, it's a polite visit.
But like you said, you know, it's quite formal to use it this way.
And now we pretty much only use it with funerals when someone has passed away.
In the past you guys will hear in older movies someone will say like I'm going to stop by and pay my respects to like an elderly person.
You'll hear it used that way, but it's evolving.
We really don't use it that way anymore.
You know, maybe like a very elderly grandparent might say that, but with the, you know our newest generation, with Gen Z, we don't use it that way.
It really just means going to a funeral or to a celebration of life to pay your respect to this person that passed away.
Yeah, we could do a whole other episode on how funeral lingo is changing, right?
A lot of times you don't even hear the word funeral anymore.
You hear celebration of life, you know, trying to spin it in a more positive way, right?
Because people have lived long lives hopefully, and we want to respect and kind of celebrate what what they've done in their lives.
Right.
We want it to be more of a happy occasion, remembering them with positivity and love.
We don't want it to be so somber as it has been in the past, at least in the US.
But this is very different, I think, culturally.
So this would be an interesting thing for you guys to come and comment on the YouTube.
What are funerals like?
Is it more like a celebration of life in your culture?
Let us know on YouTube, guys.
All right, Aubrey, what's the second one that we need to know?
Yeah.
So the second one is show respect, which we use more often because it's not just associated with funerals.
And really the difference is that respect is singular here.
So it's always pay respects plural, and then show respect, which just means to treat someone with respect.
And is this kind of the mistake that you saw our student make here around the plural?
Combining both.
Exactly.
And saying show respects.
Okay.
And you know, of course, the verb respect will sometimes have an S if you say he respects his parents.
But if ever you use the verb show with respect, it will always be singular.
Interesting.
This is tricky.
So our listeners are going to want to listen a couple of times today.
Go back and rewind, guys.
Write down these examples.
We have two examples for our listeners under this one.
What's the first one?
Yeah, so please show respect to the speaker by turning off all cell phones.
You might hear this before a TED Talk or before an important presentation or speech.
Right, right, right, right.
Yeah.
Or even in a yoga class, I went to yoga last night and I'm always like, did I turn my phone off?
And by that time it's in the cubbies and you can't get up because it'd be very awkward.
And then you're like, oh, please don't ring.
I know.
I just went to a film last night and someone's phone rang so loud in the middle of a very poignant scene.
There's a film called...
Oh, it's the one about sex trafficking.
That's so powerful.
It's in the theaters right now.
Yes.
I heard about that.
Yes.
The sound of freedom.
Yes.
I highly recommend it.
It's very powerful, but definitely leaves you with a message of hope more than just like horror.
Right.
So anyway, yeah, this phone just went off so loud.
And the worst is when they have awful rings, like ridiculous tunes.
Right.
Anyway, trying to find their phone to turn it off.
But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or what's the second example here, Aubrey?
So you might say, do children show respect today like they did in the past?
This is actually a popular IELTS question, an IELTS speaking question.
Oh, really?
Interesting.
I didn't know that.
We've heard a lot of students that got that on test day.
You'll see it online when you search speaking part three questions, right?
Often comparing the past to the present, and often comparing respect is shown like it was in the past.
Very interesting, guys.
Go over and check out our other podcast, Where Aubrey and Jessica Are twice a week IELTS Energy Podcast if you're getting ready for the IELTS exam.
Absolutely.
All right.
And we have a third phrase.
There are a couple of other phrases we use a lot just with the word respect.
One is an expression, with all due respect.
This is pretty formal.
It's used to sort of soften or mitigate disagreement or criticism.
You're going to criticize or disagree with someone.
We'll often say this before we disagree, right?
Aubrey, do you say this yourself?
Is this in your kind of vernacular, what you personally say?
For me, it's not as much, but... Yeah, I agree.
I think I would say it and it wouldn't be strange to me to hear someone else say it.
But honestly, I... usually speak quite informally.
So if I were to use this, it would be at work or I don't know, maybe in a job interview.
If someone I don't know maybe asked me an inappropriate question, I might say, with all due respect, I would like to refrain from answering that question.
Something like that.
If you're in quite a formal situation, I might say this.
Yeah, same here.
It's not something that I would say socially quite as much.
It feels quite formal.
But let's give our listeners a couple of examples here.
Are you ready for the first one?
This is a respectful way to say.
I'm going to disagree and I'd like to share my side now.
And it does.
It feels respectful, like you are listening, but it's just a kind way to say I very much disagree.
Yeah, that's true.
Or with all due respect, I think what you're saying is insensitive.
So, again along the same tone of maybe you're talking about politics and you know you want to open it up in a way that's hopefully going to make the person.
People just want to feel respected.
That's what it comes down to, right?
And I will keep in mind.
I feel like we almost always use this at the beginning of our thought or of our sentence.
Because I went to come up with example sentences and flip it, say oh, I think what you're saying is insensitive.
With all due respect,
And I'm like, no, that feels strange.
We just really, really don't do that.
So if you're going to do it, just at the beginning of your phrase you'll say it and then share that you disagree.
Yeah.
I mean, I think you can get away with tacking it on the end, right?
Maybe it's not as common, but I think it would be.
I personally would say it's better than you know if you realize you forgot to say something.
To respect the person.
To say it in hindsight, yeah.
Yeah, it's better to tack it on to the end than to not say anything.
I would argue that.
Yeah, that makes sense.
And it could be a regional thing too.
There could be places in the United States or in other English speaking countries where it's more common to have it out of order.
So sometimes, whenever we share something like that, like this, sounds wrong to me.
It often could be more what we're used to hearing.
Yeah, completely.
Completely.
All right.
So actually Aubrey, let's go ahead and do our fourth example, and then we'll break for a quick message.
Okay.
In just a second.
So what's the fourth one?
So this one is with respect to, which means the same as regarding, right?
It's used to say what something relates to.
So let's give a couple examples for this one.
All right.
So the groups were similar with respect to age and performance.
I love this one.
It sounds very smart.
It does, right?
It does sound very smart.
It would be great to add to a business presentation or if you're speaking in a meeting.
But you will hear it just in everyday speech as well.
Here's another example definitely that would be used in business English with respect to our sales numbers.
Market increases have been seen over the last quarter.
Yeah.
So you're saying regarding this thing, right, Aubrey?
That would be another way to say that.
Yeah.
Or in relation to this thing or in regards to or regarding.
Exactly.
Do you use this one casually?
Just kind of going back, let's say at a barbecue with friends.
Would you use this?
Would this make sense?
Or would you reserve this just for business and more formal things?
Yeah, I would say more formal, right?
Definitely not those very informal situations, barbecues with friends.
I can't really imagine a situation where this wouldn't feel like someone's being a little too formal, right?
Right.
I agree with that, actually.
Most of the time, it's going to come out when you're trying to be specific sound, smart and sound kind of more professional.
Yeah polished, absolutely polished.
I love it.
So aubry, let's take a quick minute here and remind our listeners about our sponsor, rosetta stone.
So aubry, i have a quick update for you.
Are you ready okay?
Yeah, let's hear it.
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Remember?
Last month i told you that i was going to be working on it?
Yes yeah, and the first thing i noticed was that it did feel immersive.
Oh yeah, how so?
Well, instead of just drilling memorizing, which is what you would expect, the program actually asked me to match native speaker audio to images.
So I was doing a lot of matching work.
I love that.
That would make it like an addictive video game.
Are there like sound effects when you get it right?
But yeah, I love the sound it makes when I get it right.
A little reward bell.
We're not above that.
You know, that motivating sound.
We love that.
We want to hear that.
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So it's not like I'm sitting here and listening to a lecture about how to pronounce the words.
Instead, I'm just trying it and I'm getting feedback.
I love that style.
Yes, I love that.
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And when you're back, we're going to go ahead and go into a quick role play to finish up today's episode.
Aubrey, are you ready?
Should we do it?
Yeah, let's do it.
In this role play, you and I are chatting at a luncheon after a funeral.
Okay, here we go.
Okay.
I'm so glad that so many people came to pay their respects.
Yeah, she was clearly well-loved and respected.
I'm glad my children showed respect during the funeral.
They can be quite rambunctious.
With all due respect, I did see them running around screaming in the church foyer.
Oh, no.
That doesn't surprise me.
With respect to their behavior, it's a bit crazy lately.
Woo!
It's funny here because you said I'm glad my children were good, but I'm saying actually they weren't.
Oh, the exact thing has happened to me before.
In fact, I was just at a family reunion and something very similar happened, where one person was like your kids are so well behaved.
And then someone else was like, actually, they had made this huge mess with popcorn in a room.
I didn't know.
They're like, actually, you might want to go clean up after this.
I bet a lot of our listeners who are parents are going to really identify with you Aubrey, here in this situation.
For sure.
All right.
So real quick, before we finish up today and give our listeners our takeaway where did we use our expressions today?
So I first said, you know, I'm glad so many people came to pay their respects.
And that is the one you have to have the plural there, pay their respects.
And it means to come when someone has passed away, to visit, to celebrate their life, to show support to the family.
Yes.
And then I said she was clearly well-loved and respected, right?
So that wasn't one of the phrases we taught, but it is a way to refer to someone as being respected.
Right Aubrey.
Yes, absolutely.
Good point to have that past participle, the verb respected.
She was respected.
And then I said I'm glad my children showed respect during the funeral which, this is likely you're more familiar with.
This just means to be respectful, to show respect.
Right.
Yes.
And I say, well, actually, right.
Or I didn't say actually I said with all due respect, I did see them running and screaming in the church foyer.
And that could be a good bonus word for today too.
Foyer.
Yes.
That's interesting.
You say foyer, I say foyer.
It's spelled F-O-Y-E-R, you guys.
And this is one of those things where, depending on your regional dialect, it's pronounced differently.
It's like pecan and pecan.
That's so funny.
Let's do an update on that, Aubrey.
Let's do an update episode on that one.
We'll come back to it, guys.
Just make sure you hit follow on all ears English.
And then the last one you said was?
I said, with respect to their behavior, it's been a bit crazy lately.
And both of these at the end, I wanted to use them in a role play, but it does feel quite formal.
Like we're not... best friends chatting here like it might be you might be my grandmother i think in this conversation because it does feel quite formal um it wouldn't be to my sister or to a really good friend my age if it were i wouldn't use these phrases with all due respect and with respect to their behavior right i'm clearly like you said trying to be a little more polished a little more formal yeah it's a good point aubrey we always have to know the context who are we talking to who are we around right you know where should we leave our listeners first of all go listen to aretha franklin the famous song right yeah that's not very long ago 2021 there was a film called respect it was like a biopic about aretha franklin i've been dying to see it yeah she's classic famous singer very well loved so where should we leave our listeners then what's what's the final point that we want to remember Yes, guys, this word respect can be confusing.
We used it in so many different ways and so many different expressions.
So just avoid that common mistake of saying show respects.
That needs to be singular, show respect.
And then pay respects, singular.
So it's such a tiny detail but a really easy thing to polish your grammar a little bit by keeping track of that.
And I think the key point here too, also around connection, because connection, not perfection, is our belief.
People want to feel respected.
So try to bring the respect in in any way you can add.
You know, with all due respect, add it in there.
So people feel respected because no dialogue, no connection can ever happen.
If one person isn't feeling respected, right?
Such a good point, right?
Yes.
Connection really goes hand in hand with respect.
I agree so much.
Yep.
Yeah, totally.
So guys, if you want to grab that awesome deal from Rosetta Stone, go to R-O-S-E-T-T-A-S-T-O-N-Ecom, slash A-E-E.
And your code there is A-E-E and you can get the lifetime deal.
So good, Aubrey.
Thanks for hanging out with me today on the microphone.
Yes, awesome.
I'll see you next time.
All right, take care.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
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