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[The Art and Illusion of Romanticizing Your Life]-[#89 - How to Romanticize Your Life Without Losing Reality]

Voice Hugs · B2 · 2026-04-01

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📋 Summary

The Art and Illusion of Romanticizing Your Life

In the latest episode of Voice Hugs, hosts Vivian and Rowena delve into the nuanced concept of "romanticizing life." Whether it is envisioning a dream life in New York City or finding beauty in the mundane chores of motherhood, the hosts explore how our minds construct fantasies to escape the "hurt, the heartbreak, and the pain" of reality.

The "Delulu" Mindset: Vision vs. Reality

Vivian and Rowena discuss the fine line between being "delulu" (delusional) in a positive, goal-oriented way and becoming lost in a fantasy that obscures reality. Rowena notes that she lives by the motto of "shooting for the moon," using vision to drive progress. However, they warn that romanticizing can become detrimental when it serves as an escape rather than a catalyst for action. As Vivian points out, "You think you want these things, but it's just because you see other people wanting it," highlighting how social media often curates a "highlight reel" that influences our desires.

The New York Fantasy

Reflecting on a recent trip to New York City, Vivian describes the "euphoric" feeling of walking through Times Square while listening to Harry Styles' Coming Up Roses. Despite the city's inherent chaos—the "smell of human feces," the "rats," and the "trash bags"—the act of romanticizing allowed her to perceive a cinematic, beautiful version of her surroundings. This experience led to a profound realization: we have the power to mentally reframe our environment, even if that reality is chaotic. Yet, they acknowledge that living in such a place requires a "hustle" that often prevents one from actually enjoying the city, proving that the tourist experience is vastly different from the resident experience.

The Subjectivity of Reality

Sharing a poignant anecdote about a heated encounter on a bus in Los Angeles, the hosts emphasize that our personal reality is not the objective reality of the world. The man who was initially "cursing out the bus driver" later displayed kindness to other passengers, proving that people are often reacting to their own internal struggles. This serves as a reminder to remain open-minded and grounded. As they note, "We really don't have a clear understanding of what reality is. We have our own reality."

Finding Balance in Every Season

For Rowena, who is currently in a season of motherhood, romanticizing has shifted from grand visions to appreciating the "magic" in everyday moments—like finding beauty in the "stains" or "holes" in a t-shirt. The hosts conclude that while it is not realistic to live in a "romanticized life" 24/7, incorporating a bit of "fairy dust" into our routines can be transformative.

Ultimately, the goal is to find a middle ground. Instead of constantly looking for greener grass elsewhere, they suggest that we should aim to "water the grass where you are." By editing our current lives and grounding ourselves in truth, we can find contentment without needing to escape into a fantasy. As Vivian eloquently puts it, "Life is not romantic, but there are parts of life that are romantic," and the challenge is to embrace that truth with open arms.

🎯Key Sentences

1
Let's get into the land that I love.
2
I need your attention right now.
3
many things went through my mind.
4
it was a quick weekend trip.
5
I love the energy here.
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📝Key Phrases

1
romanticize your life
2
stuck in a rut
3
the grass is always greener on the other side
4
shoot for the moon
5
land somewhere among the stars
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📖 Transcript

Life is not... I was gonna say life is not romantic.
There are parts of life that are romantic.
We may be romanticizing other people's romanticizing of life.
You think you want these things, but it's just because you see other people wanting it.
Let's get into the land that I love.
After you break up with someone, you can only think about the highlights of the relationship.

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