Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast number 1089, Unconventional Marriages.
This is English as a Second Language podcast episode 1089.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development at in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
Visit our website at eslpod.com.
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This episode is a dialogue between Karam and Raffaella about unconventional marriages.
Let's get started.
You and daniel have been dating for over a year.
Are you guys thinking of tying the knot?
I'm not sure.
Neither Daniel nor I believe in following conventions.
We're both open to an unconventional relationship.
Many different kinds.
We're very open-minded.
Okay, for instance, would you guys be open to polygamy?
Somehow I can't picture either of you sharing your spouse with someone else.
Well, no, I don't think that would be right for us.
The more people involved in a relationship, the more difficult it becomes, I think.
Then you wouldn't be open to an open marriage?
That's probably not something I'd want.
The only other unconventional marriages I can think of are arranged marriages and May-December romances.
Neither of those applies to you and Daniel.
Am I missing something?
Well, we'd be open to living apart.
We're both very independent and would want to retain that independence.
Ah, then there's my answer.
I know what kind of unconventional marriage you'd have.
What A relationship without cohabitating?
Dating.
We begin our dialogue with Karim saying to Raffaella You and Daniel have been dating for over a year.
Are you guys thinking of tying the knot?
What?
To tie, T-I-E, the knot, means to get married.
It's another expression meaning to get married.
Raffaella says, I'm not sure neither Daniel nor I believe in following conventions.
The word conventions C-O-N-V-E-N-T-I-O-N-S refers here to standards or the commonly accepted way of doing things.
Raffaella says we're both open to an unconventional relationship.
Unconventional means not usual or unusual.
In this case, a relationship that would not be what you would normally think between two people.
Karam is not sure exactly what Raffaella means.
He says, what kind of unconventional relationship?
Raffaella says, many different kinds.
She doesn't give him a specific answer.
She does say that she and Daniel are open-minded.
To be open-minded means to be willing to consider new ideas, to be willing to accept things that are perhaps unconventional.
Karam then says, okay, for instance, meaning for example, would you guys be open to polygamy?
Polygamy P-O-L-Y-G-A-M-Y is the practice of having more than one wife or more than one husband at a time.
Now, contrary to what some people think, polygamy is not legal in any state or territory of the United States.
I have heard some people who thought that this was true but it definitely is not.
Now that doesn't mean that there aren't some people who live in what are, in effect, polygamous relationships, but they are not legally married.
You can only be legally married to one person at a time, at least here in the U.S.
Why you would want to have more than one wife, for example, I have no idea.
Clearly, someone who believes in that hasn't been married before.
But anyway, back to our story.
Karam says, Somehow I can't picture either of you sharing your spouse with someone else.
To be able to picture someone is to imagine someone in a certain situation.
Karam is saying that he cannot imagine that either Danielle or Raffaella would be willing to share his or her spouse S-P-O-U-S-E.
Your spouse is either your husband or your wife, depending on who you are.
Raffaella says well no, I don't think that would be right for us, meaning she doesn't want to be in a polygamous relationship.
She says, the more people involved in a relationship, the more difficult it becomes.
Karam says, then you wouldn't be open to an open marriage.
To be open to means to be willing to consider, to be willing to try.
Kadam is asking if Danielle and Raffaella would be willing to try an open marriage.
An open marriage is a marriage, I'm told, where the husband and wife agree that they can have sexual relationships with each other people outside of the marriage and yet still remain married.
Now this is different than someone having an affair, A-F-F-A-I-R.
When you have an affair, you have sexual relations with someone who is not your husband or wife without the husband or wife knowing about it.
An open relationship is when you know about it, I guess.
Raffaella says, that's probably not what I want.
So she doesn't want that either.
So Karam is confused.
He's trying to find out exactly what Raffaella is talking about.
He then says the only other unconventional marriages I can think of are arranged marriages and May-December romances.
An arranged A-R-R-A-N-G-E-D marriage is a marriage where the husband and wife are chosen for each other, usually by the parents.
This is still done in some societies, where the parents decide who their children will marry.
I did not and do not have an arranged marriage.
But fortunately, she didn't listen.
Maybe she should have.
Karam also mentions May-December romances.
A May-December romance is a romantic relationship between two people with a significant difference in age.
The man may be 60 and the woman may be 25.
That would be definitely a May-December romance.
That happens all the time here in Los Angeles.
The rich male movie star will marry the young actress or model.
Karam says, Neither of these situations, Daniel says, applies to you and Daniel.
To apply to something means to be relevant to something, to be, we might also say, applicable to a certain situation.
Karam says, am I missing something?
When someone asks anything, Am I missing something?
He is saying, is there something I don't understand?
Is there some information I don't have?
Raffaella says, well, we're open to living apart.
We're both very independent and would want to retain that independence.
To live apart means to live in separate houses or separate apartments.
Raffaella says that she and Danielle are both very independent and would like to, or would want to, retain R-E-T-A-I-N that independence.
To retain something is to keep it, to continue to have it.
Karam says, ah, then there's my answer.
Now he understands.
I know what kind of unconventional marriage you'd have.
And Raffaella asks him, what?
What kind?
Karam says, a relationship without cohabitating?
Dating, he says.
To cohabitate C-O-H-A-B-I-T-A-T-E means to live together in the same house with someone with whom you're having a romantic relationship.
Most conventional or regular normal marriages have the husband and wife living in the same house.
Karam is saying that Raffaella is talking about a relationship without cohabitating, which is really just another name for dating.
Dating D-A-T-I-N-G usually refers to the early stages of a romantic relationship when traditionally, you didn't live with the person with whom you were having this romance.
Let's listen to the dialogue this time at a normal speed.
You and Daniel have been dating for over a year.
Are you guys thinking of tying the knot?
I'm not sure.
Neither Daniel nor I believe in following conventions.
We're both open to an unconventional relationship.
What kind of unconventional relationship different kinds?
We're very open-minded, okay.
For instance, would you guys be open to polygamy?
Somehow I can't picture either of you sharing your spouse with someone else.
Well no, I don't think that would be right for us.
The more people involved in a relationship, the more difficult it becomes.
I think then you wouldn't be open to an open marriage.
That's probably not something I'd want.
The only other unconventional marriages I can think of are arranged marriages and May-December romances.
Neither of those applies to you and Daniel.
Am I missing something?
Well, we'd be open to living apart.
We're both very independent and would want to retain that independence.
Ah, then there's my answer.
I know what kind of unconventional marriage you'd have.
What?
A relationship without cohabitating?
If you want to retain more English in your brain, I suggest you keep listening to the wonderful dialogues written by our script writer, Dr Lucy Say.
Thank you, Lucy.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us again right here on...
ESL podcast.
English as a Second Language podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2015 by the Center for Educational Development.
