This is an All Ears English podcast episode 1595.
How to start strong with your English teacher.
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast downloaded more than 200 million times.
Are you feeling stuck with your English?
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With your American hosts Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl.
Coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.
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Today, we answer a listener's question about online tutors.
Listen in for our answers and get tons of ways to connect with your English tutor in your first meeting to build a strong connection.
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Hey, Michelle, how's everything going in your world today?
We're in almost in midsummer already.
Can you believe that?
I know.
Yeah, everything is good today.
I found I didn't even know it, but I found a park not too far from my apartment.
And there's like all the sand stuff and water stuff.
So I wound up there with my son and it was a little messier than I intended to get, but it was very cute, cute.
That's awesome.
It's sometimes it's good to go outside, just get messy, get dirty and enjoy life.
Next time i will bring a swimsuit for him.
That's awesome.
I love it.
Lindsay, have you ever done any like online tutoring or any tutoring when you've been learning a language?
Oh, my gosh.
Yes, for sure.
You know, I did more language exchanges when I was learning Spanish.
So in New York I had all these language exchange partners all over the city when I was getting ready to travel in South America a long time ago.
But I've had tutors over the years.
Yep.
Yep.
What about you, Michelle?
I've actually never had a tutor for a language, but I've had.
I mean, I've had, I mean I guess this could go for any kind of thing that you're learning like, especially if you just have like a tutor.
But I've had, I've had like voice lessons, I've had piano lessons, like any of those kinds of things.
You know that relationship kind of similar.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
For sure.
So that's the same idea, kind of learning one on one from someone.
It's a great way to learn.
And so we did have a listener question today, right, Michelle?
Exactly.
This is from Khaled.
And this is an interesting question.
I really like this one.
Khaled from Saudi Arabia.
Lindsay, do you want to read the question?
Sure, Michelle.
Here we go.
So Khaled says, I'm a regular listener of All Ears English.
I've been listening for 10 months and you guys are the best.
Thank you so much for your efforts.
Thank you, Khaled.
That is awesome.
So my question is, what are some tips that I can use when I meet a tutor online for the first time?
Because yesterday I tried a new tutor and she was a lady and I just messed it up when I called her Mr Tina twice.
It would be great if you could help me.
Thanks in advance.
Regards, call it.
All right.
Well, good question.
Right, Michelle?
Yeah, it is a good question.
It is a good question.
Yeah.
So meeting online tutors.
I mean, like, first, let's address.
I mean, well, I mean, I guess a lot of our students have been doing online tutoring.
But calling Mr. Tina with Khaled, you know, I just want to say don't feel bad.
I mean, that's my first tip.
Guys, teachers and tutors have personalities where we want to help students.
Right.
Yeah.
So you really it's better that you've said that then you didn't say anything.
I mean, we talk about this all the time, like just like making mistakes.
And, okay, even with someone's name, it happens.
Like, as long as you say like, oh, you know, sorry, I didn't, you know, something like that.
You really don't have to feel bad.
I agree with you, Michelle.
And I just want to say that it's powerful when you do use someone's name just because you screwed up the.
You know what goes before the acronym.
Right.
Mr. Mrs. Miss.
You know that teacher knows that you're learning, but the fact that you use their name, that's huge.
It's a connection skill in such a big way.
Michelle, how do you feel when you walk into a room and someone takes the time to say your name and greet you?
It doesn't always happen, right?
It doesn't.
Definitely, definitely.
No, I mean, we, I think we've talked about names before.
I think you even like, you know, even I think before we were recording, you used my name.
And for some reason, like, I like, I like noticed it in a different way.
It's like so funny.
Like, just sometimes, sometimes it like hits you.
Someone's using your name, you know?
It's huge.
It's so powerful.
I feel like this is one of the big top 10 hacks to building connections in the world.
Success in business and in life is using the person's name.
So I want to make sure Khalid hears that, that you use the person's name.
Now let's work on the acronym that goes before that.
But that's huge just to continue using the name.
Exactly, exactly.
So don't feel embarrassed or self-conscious.
You could just say, excuse me, or my mistake, something like that and move on.
I have a feeling that Miss Tina was not upset.
But it's nice of you to, you know, be considerate and concerned about that stuff as well.
Exactly. really in person as well.
But you know, what other things can you keep in mind for a tutor, you know, specifically for the first meeting.
Lindsay, I mean, what's one thing that you should do when you meet a tutor for the first time?
All right.
So you're paying money, presumably, to meet with this tutor, right?
And you need to be clear about what your outcomes, what your desired outcomes or your goals are guys, because you're not going to work with the tutor forever.
It should be a very clear amount of time with an end date.
And you should be clear on what your goals are.
So how can we say that, Michelle?
We're going to give our listeners two ways to say that.
Well, you could say I really want to work on X Y, Z.
So, for example, I really want to work on my vocabulary skills, especially slang.
Okay, I like that.
So I really want to work on X, Y, Z. I hope our listeners are writing this down.
Guys, go ahead and write this down.
And then the second one we could say is simple, right?
My goal is to do something.
You know, for example, my goal is to improve my academic writing skills.
Right.
Good.
Right.
The tutor needs to, you know, wants to have, like Lindsay said, you are paying for that tutor.
So the tutor wants to know what you want, right?
They have to have a clear picture.
So it's important.
I mean I would say, even if it is you already talked about it beforehand, I think it's still good to you know.
Just go over that.
Yeah.
And I think it's even better if you extend this by saying you know, by the end of our sessions, I would like to be able to do X.
I love that.
Right. situation.
Let's imagine, I think for a lot of our listeners Michelle, it's at work, during a social activity at work.
So it's a combination of our career and our social life, right?
Let's say I want to be able to carry on a group conversation at lunch with my colleagues, right?
Then your tutor can envision that moment and work everything around that moment for you exactly, exactly then.
This one kind of leads us to our next one, which is similar, which is to explain why you're there.
So similar to, you know, your goals, just going a little bit more into it.
So for example, the first thing you could say is, I'm here because I want to, right?
Okay.
So I'm here because I want to get a promotion, but need to improve my English to get me there.
So again, this is similar like talking about your goals, but more instead of like necessarily the exact you know vocabulary or grammar right.
Talking about that situation, right?
Yeah, the more specific you can be, the better.
It's going to motivate your tutor a lot more if you can tie this to a goal like getting a promotion and motivate you.
I mean, a lot of people just show up and say, I need to improve my English.
That is too broad.
So if you are doing that, stop doing that.
Find a very specific reason why. you need to improve your English.
Otherwise, why are we even doing this?
Why are we here?
Yeah.
I mean, Lindsay, what's another way you could kind of explain that?
I need to work on my English skills because, right?
For example, I need to work on my English skills because I'm hoping to go to university in the US in the fall.
Okay, well, that is a very clear reason, isn't it, Michelle?
Right, exactly.
So like then that tutor knows, okay, academic, right?
Yes.
Okay.
So and that would create a whole different learning plan for you versus getting a promotion.
Right.
And academic, but also this tutor might start thinking about those social situations you might get into.
So like they might ask you some follow up questions.
Yeah, because college in the US is just as social as it is academic, isn't it?
Maybe more.
Yeah.
It's an expensive way to build social skills in a social network.
Yes, it seriously is.
Lindsay, what's another thing you should do in this first meeting?
Okay, you should ask questions you know, for example, about you know your learning style.
What will happen in the sessions?
How the tutor teaches?
For example, what can I expect from dot, dot, dot?
Like what can I expect from our sessions?
Or how do you, so like, for example, how do you assign homework, right?
Right.
Yeah, I love it.
You should get answers to all these things.
I love it.
And then you should also explain in this kind of this was, I think, why I said learning style earlier how you like to learn.
We've talked about this briefly before.
But yeah, for me, when I talk to students, I really want to know this question.
This is such a key element. piece of information to know about the student.
So, for example, I'm a blank learner, so I'd love to blank.
So, for example, you could say either I'm a more traditional learner, so I'd love to learn in a more structured way.
Or what else could you say, Lindsay?
Or if you're casual, you can say I'm a more casual learner.
So I'd love to use a lot of TV shows and have natural conversations and play games.
Michelle, what kind of a learner would you say you are?
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I would say that I'm a mix because, I mean, between like... I like to think that I'm more casual.
I think I want to think that about myself, but I think I actually need the structure as well.
So I like to have fun, but within a structure.
What about you?
Yeah, I would say, you know...
In terms of the way I need the material laid out for me, I'm visual, like highly visual.
Recently we've been mapping out our new system, our plan for our courses, and I really need to see the big picture right.
A big map of everything in order to truly understand it.
Just having things written out on different documents does not work for me in words.
I need the visual picture.
So when it comes to learning a language, I need my tutor or my teacher to write out those charts.
Show me how those work together.
Show me physical examples on a page.
Yes.
I actually am kind of similar.
I can hear.
I mean, guys, this is all this is all about like also specific learning styles.
Right.
Like, are you more of like you need to hear it?
You need to see it, you know, visual auditory.
Right.
Lots of different things.
But I also find that I need to look at something as well.
So you can look at information, too.
Yeah, that's important.
So what would be one last tip for our listeners?
Share yourself, guys.
I mean, this is a relationship.
This is a relationship where connection is important.
So you want to build it.
And in this first meeting, you want to kind of get to know each other.
I mean, it's important.
You want to feel comfortable with this person so that you can learn and really feel comfortable to make mistakes right.
Yeah, because this is going to provide kind of the staging moment, right?
For you to get confident trying out new grammar structures, new vocabulary words, and your next step is going to be the real world, right?
Your workplace or whatever, wherever you need to perform.
So you want to make sure you're 100% confident with this person.
Definitely.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So I mean you could share things like oh I really love, like I really love, you know, romantic comedies or whatever it is, or even ask them questions like how did you get into teaching?
How did you get into tutoring?
You know, learn about them.
Yeah.
Yeah, so good.
Okay.
So I know that our listeners love role plays, Michelle.
So what do you say we give them a little role play to see how all this works in a conversation?
I think we should.
I think we should.
So Lindsay, I'm your tutor here.
Oh boy.
All right.
What am I learning?
Okay.
Well, this is our first session.
Well, no, you are learning English.
Okay.
All right.
Here we go.
I'm ready.
I'm ready.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I am so excited to work together.
What can I help you with?
Tell me about yourself.
Well, I'm here because I want to get a job with an English speaking company.
So I want to build my skills to feel more confident interviewing and networking.
Oh, that's great.
That's really great, Lindsay.
I can definitely help you there.
Great.
Thanks, Mr. Michelle.
Oh, no, my mistake.
Miss Michelle.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Thanks.
My goal is to increase my business vocab as well as slang for these situations.
Oh, well, that makes a lot of sense.
I mean, we can definitely work on those areas.
Thanks so much.
Also, what can I expect from our sessions?
Well, we start off with a little small talk and then get into the discussion of the day.
What kind of learner would you say that you are?
I'm a pretty traditional learner, so I'd love to have our sessions be pretty structured and have homework.
OK, well, that works.
I will definitely have worksheets available.
And, you know, I'd also I'd love to also do a lot of conversation practice.
I would love that.
I really love speaking English.
How long have you been doing online tutoring?
A few years, but I've been tutoring a lot more lately.
I really love getting to know my students.
I'm excited to work with you.
Me too.
All right.
Cool.
All right.
Let's go back and rehash this here, Michelle.
What do you say?
Let's do it.
So, yeah, I said, tell me about yourself.
And you said, I'm here because I want to get a job with an English speaking company.
So I want to build my skills to feel more confident interviewing and networking.
So you really laid it out.
Yeah.
So immediately the tutor is going to know to create lessons, you know, kind of leaning towards business English in a way.
Right.
So good.
What happened, Lindsay?
Oh, my gosh.
I said, Mr. Michelle.
Yeah.
So I said, my mistake, Miss Michelle.
But I also do want to say that, you know, culturally speaking, we don't really at least in American English, Michelle do we say this.
Do we say, right?
It's weird for us.
Yeah, you can.
I mean, you can ask the tutor what they want to be called.
I mean, I think generally the tutoring relationship is fairly informal.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't want to say that for all, but you would.
I would probably say oh, you could just call me Michelle.
Yeah.
Or, you know, Miss and your last name.
Right.
Miss Kaplan.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Because, you know, it just one or the other.
Right.
We usually don't make.
We don't mix that acronym, the Miss, with the first name kids, american english, sometimes with kids.
Yeah, it feels juvenile.
That's what.
That's what i'm trying to say.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Yeah so yeah, that's that's another another good thing to think about.
Um yeah, and then you said my goal is to increase my business vocabulary as well as slang for these situations.
Right, Perfect?
And then I said, also, what can I expect from our sessions?
So that's kind of a broad question, which is good, because you want to make sure the tutor has a clear answer for that.
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
And then I asked you about what kind of learner you are.
So you said, I'm a pretty traditional learner.
So I'd love to have our sessions be pretty structured and have homework.
As I was saying before, this is to me one of the most important questions because the tutor wants, like I always say to my students, like I want you to walk away from these sessions feeling happy, like you had a good time and also feeling like wow, I really learned a lot.
Like that can help me starting today.
Right?
Yes.
So I...
Some students, they want to just more talk and have things be pretty formal.
But some, if you do that with them without knowing their style, they might feel like oh well, that's not structured.
So you want to really share that and be honest with your tutor so that they know you don't want to.
You know then, like go and be like oh, I wanted more homework.
I wanted more this.
I wanted more that, you know, like don't be shy and always tell them like what you're looking for.
Yeah.
And I also think it's, you know, from a learning perspective, it's important to have a balance, right?
When, even at the advanced levels, you know if you're just going in and having conversation practice you're not getting a ton out of it.
We need to learn new structures.
We need to understand grammar structures.
And the way to do that is often adding a little bit of drilling into the lessons.
So there should be more of a structure, more of a system that the tutor is using.
And then, of course, you're opening it up into conversation, but it can't just be all conversation, because that's not really learning guys.
Yeah.
Okay.
And the other thing I would say is a.
I would say you also want to be a little bit flexible, because you know the tutor is there for you, but the tutor also has a background in this.
So they might have some ideas that you haven't thought of.
So maybe you know like it's not like a style that you love, or maybe you just want to talk and your tutor goes into some grammar or something like that, or vice versa.
Yeah.
And, you know, try and be a little flexible.
If it's like that, every time you could say something like oh, I was hoping we'd do a little bit more of this.
And then maybe the tutor says, oh, well, I thought it was for this person or whatever.
Like, but, you know, to have that flexibility on both ends is important.
Yeah.
I mean, trust the tutor a little bit.
Like, would you go in for brain surgery and try to tell the brain surgeon how to do it?
No.
Right.
So you're paying for something.
What you're paying for is the guidance on how to get to your goal.
Right.
Right.
So that's the insight that the tutor should be bringing a clear plan away, a method that they're bringing to you to get you to your goal.
So, so good.
So good, Michelle.
What's the takeaway for our listeners before we get off the mic today?
Yes, exactly.
Just really, really fast.
You also said, I really love speaking in English.
And then you asked me about how long I've been out online tutoring.
So we're starting that relationship.
But guys, takeaway, get to know your tutor.
Don't worry about mistakes or being self-conscious, right?
Because the tutor doesn't care.
The tutor wants to help you.
Yeah, for sure.
Build a relationship and be clear about who you are and your goal, and that's going to be really essential.
It's going to make the life easier for both you and your tutor.
It's going to make you really feel like you know you're putting in money to something that is really worth your money and time.
Exactly.
And guys, don't forget, go and find out your fluency score, right?
At the end of today's episode, you want to know where you are starting from.
Michelle, where can they go to get that?
All right.
Take our simple two-minute quiz.
Find out if you are 50%, 65%, or 80% fluency.
Cool.
All right, Michelle.
Talk to you soon.
Take care.
Thanks.
Bye, Lindsay.
Bye.
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