Hello and welcome to or welcome back to Try Not To Care.
If you're new here, my name is Ashley and I upload every single Monday and we just sit down.
We have a little girl talk.
I give you tips and tricks on navigating your life, mental health and just everything self-improvement related.
Before we get into today's episode, i did want to finally announce that on february 13th, merch is coming back.
I'm so excited for this drop.
It's going to be very similar to the past two, but i just wanted to switch it up a little bit.
But this is also my first launch that i'm doing completely on my own, so i'm a little nervous, but definitely more so excited.
So if you want to see the merch, get the merch, make sure to follow my instagram and tiktok to be notified when it's live February 13th.
It's a Friday.
It's the day before Valentine's Day.
And yeah, I'm so excited.
I can't wait to match with you and it's going to be so good.
But for today's episode, I want to talk about our addiction to scrolling on our phones and how to break the habit of it to actually be able to enjoy our lives.
A common New to lower your screen time, because a lot of us are painfully aware of how long we spend on our phones.
Some of us are afraid to even look at our documented screen time because of how high it might be.
We're avoiding the accountability of being glued to our phone, but we know it's high and we're like okay, we need to break it.
Many people have this routine of going to work, going to school and then coming home and being so tired from the day that all they want to do is relax.
But relaxing to them is laying in bed, laying on the couch and scrolling on their phone.
The thing about using your phone as a way of rest is it's not restful.
It's actually the complete opposite.
Apps like Instagram and TikTok are so overstimulating and not good for our nervous system.
And on top of that, they can contribute to things like comparison and low self-esteem and burnout, which makes you feel even more drained or even depressed.
Have you ever caught yourself saying something along the lines of, This year went by really fast.
I can't believe it's 2026, like 2025 flew by.
Yes, time does move faster when you're older.
But part of the reason you feel so disconnected from real life and like time's passing you by is is your phone.
Josh and I like to call it getting sucked into the vortex, where you go onto TikTok or Instagram Reels and you're scrolling and you can't stop.
And then an hour goes by, two hours goes by, four hours goes by, until you're able to get out of it and log off.
With all that being said, we're going to get to the core of why you're scrolling, what you're looking for, how to plan your day for success, and things that you can do that are more productive or more restful than being on your phone.
So let's get into it.
Before we get into the reasons of why you might be tempted to scroll on your phone, I want to remind you that you're not alone.
And I know that sounds so serious and so deeply.
You're not alone.
Other people are addicted to their phones too.
But If you are addicted to your phone, just know how normal it is, because the truth is we're meant to be.
Our phones, especially Apple products, have been built to keep us trapped, keep us scrolling and keep us addicted.
As much as I love TikTok, I truly believe it is the most detrimental app to productivity and a healthy mindset.
The algorithm was manufactured like nothing else.
It is made to know you know what media you want to consume and it's built like a lottery machine.
I've talked about this before but scrolling on your phone is very similar to playing a slot machine.
Every time you scroll, you think you're going to get the media that you want, but then, when you don't, you scroll again until you get that dopamine hit and we'll get into what exactly you're looking for in a.
Our phones and apps have been created to keep us glued to them.
So if you are, don't feel like the worst person ever or wonder what's wrong with you.
It's very normal.
But just because it's normal doesn't mean that's what we want for ourselves.
If you want to break the habit of scrolling, it's important to understand why you do it.
You can't break a habit without understanding the habit.
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This episode is sponsored by Ali.
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Like I said a second ago, a lot of people fall victim to doom scrolling as a way to relax, and They've been going all day working really hard, being on their feet, answering to a million people running in a million directions, and all they wanna do is just lay down and do nothing.
They want to turn their brains off and consume brain rot.
That in itself isn't a bad thing.
You've absolutely earned the right to mindless scroll for a little.
But if you feel guilty about it or you get off your phone and you're beating yourself up because you feel like you could have spent your time more productively, that's when it's time to try to kick the habit.
Another reason why people do scroll is they're bored.
They don't know what to do with their day.
They have no structure.
They have no routine.
And it's easy.
It's an easy way to distract yourself.
The same thing goes for people who are struggling with their mental health or are going through some turbulence in their life.
Your phone is a really good distraction.
It's an efficient way to numb the pain and escape from your reality for a little bit.
On the other side of that though, it's also an efficient way to avoid responsibilities.
Maybe you're fighting with your friends or your partner and instead of talking through your problems, you go to your phone to distract yourself.
Or maybe you have a lot of things to do, a lot of work to get done, errands you need to run a house that needs to be cleaned, things you probably don't really want to do.
An easy escape and a way to avoid doing those things is to distract yourself and keep yourself busy on your phone.
When you catch yourself doom scrolling, ask yourself, am I here for rest?
Am I here for entertainment?
Or am I here to distract myself from my real life?
Which leads us to the next question.
Ask yourself, what am I looking for?
If you find yourself stuck in this loop, scrolling through social media, sucked into the vortex, ask yourself What am I looking to find?
Are you looking for a piece of media that's going to give you relief, give you validation, give you some type of inspiration, give you a laugh, give you a distraction from whatever's going on in your real life?
What are you scrolling for?
What are you looking to find?
What is going to satisfy you enough to be like, okay, I'm good.
I found what I needed to find and now I can put my phone down.
Back to my point about the similarities between gambling and social media.
When you're scrolling, you keep going until you get that dopamine hit.
What is going to give you that?
What is your jackpot?
What's going to... bring you to say, okay, I got what I needed.
I can log off now.
For me.
I find myself scrolling because I'm looking for inspiration or direction in my content creation.
I do social media full-time and sometimes it feels like to be successful, you need to keep up with the trends and current events, or even just when I'm lacking creativity.
I scroll in hopes that someone else's content will ignite something in me and they'll give me a good idea, or I'll feel back on my game.
I'll feel motivated and inspired and excited to create more content.
Unfortunately, that feeling does not come often.
More times than not, when I am scrolling looking to find inspiration, it makes me feel even more burnt out and even less motivated to create, especially when I scroll for hours and I'm not finding the thing that I want or that I feel like I need.
Or sometimes I'll scroll and I'll feel worse about myself or my content because I start comparing myself to other people who are doing good on social media.
The truth is, I feel my most creative and I find the most success when I focus on me and I'm not looking for clarity in other people or in their content.
I do my best when I stay off my phone and I get clear about what I want.
I make a plan and I put my time and energy into that plan.
I think a lot of people believe that scrolling is going to solve their problems.
It is a form of control in some way.
Like for me.
Me scrolling to find inspiration for my own content is a way of me trying to feel in control of my creativity.
I feel like I'm lacking creativity, so I'm going to do something about it.
So I don't feel this way anymore.
That something being scrolling on social media.
Although that can be helpful at times, it's not a reliable fix.
And more times than not, it's going to add to your problems.
The only thing that's going to solve your problems and make your life easier is you getting clear about what you want and then making a actual plan to follow through on it.
If you find yourself scrolling and you feel guilty about it, is it because you feel like you're wasting your time?
Do you wish that you spent the last hour doing something more fun or more productive?
Is it late now and you're thinking damn, I really wanted to do a self-care night, but all I did was sit on my phone, and now it's too late and I have to go to bed.
How does being on your phone make you feel?
If being on your phone makes you feel bad, what would make you feel good?
What are things that you can do that are going to make you feel productive, make you feel restful and make you feel good about yourself?
If you are bummed that you didn't set enough time to do the things that you wanted and you used all of your time scrolling on your phone, make a list of the things that you wish you spent your time on.
What do you wish you spent your time doing instead of being on your phone?
What do you wish your day looked like?
What do you wish you could have gotten done?
What are your current goals, and is scrolling on social media getting in the way of those goals?
Is it supporting those goals or is it sabotaging those goals?
Like i said before, scrolling on social media isn't inherently bad, but is it aligned with how you want your day to go and how you want your life to look, and is it aligned with your current goals?
If not, what can you do instead of scrolling?
What can you replace the habit of scrolling with that's actually going to serve you?
So what you're going to do is answer all those questions figure out what's important to you, what needs to get done and what your phone is getting in the way of, so that way, you can create a schedule to help you be more intentional with your time and add structure to your day.
What I like to do at the beginning of the week is make a rough list of everything that needs to get done, everything that I'd like to do, just brain dump it onto a piece of paper.
And then I'll rank the most important to the least important.
And I make sure to pinpoint three to five main priorities.
So those on the priority list need to get done.
Like they're happening no matter what.
And then anything after that, I'll make my way to.
I will look at my week and then I'll schedule in those priorities to make sure I'm giving myself enough time to get those done.
And also to make sure I don't miss them or forget about them.
That's what I do weekly.
But then daily, I will make an exact schedule for the day with time blocking.
Time blocking is exactly what it sounds like.
Just blocking out time to do specific tasks.
I get super precise with time blocking.
I'm even writing down things that I need to do that... i have already built into my schedule that are so mundane they're just a routine thing that i do i don't need a list for them like feeding the dogs letting them out brushing my teeth But writing them down and writing down how long these activities take makes it easier to define how much time other more important things get and where to place them in my day.
So, with time blocking, my day might look like 8 o'clock.
Wake up.
8 to 830.
Take care of the dogs, brush my teeth, make my bed.
830 to 915.
Make and eat breakfast.
915 to 930.
Journal 930 to 945.
Get dressed.
945 to 12.
Do some work 12 to 1230.
Eat lunch.
1230 to 2.
Run errands.
You see what I'm saying?
Rather than just making a list and saying these are things that I need to do today.
It gives you more structure and a schedule, almost like you had when you were in school, that helps guide you through the day and ensure that everything gets done.
Having a plan is going to help avoid mindless scrolling, because you're going to have less moments of okay, I did this, now what do I do?
You're less likely to hop on your phone if you have a set schedule that you need to follow in order for it to actually work and have everything get done.
It's easier to get things done and stay off your phone when you have a game plan.
So, instead of completing one task and being like all right, I did this, I was productive, now I can rest.
You stay in line with all the things that need attention.
Time blocking isn't just for being productive.
You can time block for resting, for creativity, for fun.
I absolutely time block and schedule in a midday coffee run.
I will time block to watch a show or read a book or go to a workout class.
A nighttime routine for me with time blocking often looks like five o'clock Eat dinner, which I know is controversial because it's so early, but your girl gets hungry very early on.
I need to eat.
And then 5.45, clean up.
6 o'clock to 6.15, you know, check in on emails.
Close out work for the day.
6.15 to 6.30, get dressed for a workout.
7 to 8 o'clock, a workout class.
8 to 8.30, shower.
8.30 to 9, do a face mask or paint my nails or some type of self-care activity.
9 to 9.30, read a book or do a crossword puzzle.
9.30 to 10, watch a show.
Right now, I'm watching so many shows.
There's so many good shows out right now.
I'm watching Tell Me Lies, season three.
I'm watching the current season of Traitors.
I just finished His and Hers last night.
So with my night routine right now, watching a show before bed is non-negotiable.
But that is a typical night routine for me and I'm blocking off time to rest and have fun and just enjoy my time.
Those are all activities that aren't super heavy or take a lot of energy, except working out obviously that are good for you.
They're good for your health.
They're good for your brain.
They're good for your mood and you're taking care of you.
You're resting but in a way that you actually feel relaxed.
You can even schedule in time to scroll.
You don't have to go cold turkey and cut being on your phone completely.
You can still schedule in half an hour to scroll on TikTok.
You can schedule an hour to plan your phone in an intentional way.
For example, I love going on my phone to learn Italian.
I'm doing that on Duolingo right now.
I love doing crosswords on my phone.
I love building mood boards on Pinterest.
Those are all on your phone, but still good for you.
With that being said, I want to give you some ideas of things that you can do that are better than scrolling.
If you want more activities that make you feel productive, some things that you can do are cook yourself a good meal.
Plan your groceries for the week.
Go grocery shopping.
Set aside time to cook.
And while you cook, you can listen to music or a podcast.
You can bake yourself something really yummy to eat for dessert.
Watching a documentary or an educational YouTube video.
I don't think that you need to be off your phone completely to be productive.
I think there's ways to use technology to benefit you in your mind.
Think of a topic that you want to learn more about and search it up online and learn about it.
Make a mood board for the month that's going to help align you with your goals.
Plan your week.
Plan your day tomorrow.
Create a video or take photos to post online.
Clean your house.
If Even hanging out with your friends and family and reconnecting with them is, you know, not work, but it's still productive.
It's still good to connect with those that you love.
This episode is sponsored by Hungry Root.
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If you want more activities that are low energy but still nourishing, that are going to help you decompress and relax without doom scrolling because hey, we all need time to relax.
You can read, you can journal, journal about your day, how you feel, what you're grateful for, what you're working towards, really anything on your mind.
Go for a walk or do yoga or just some low impact workout.
Put on a movie or a show.
Although you're still consuming media that isn't necessarily educational, I do still think it's a better option than scrolling on your phone, because you're watching with intention.
You're choosing one media to focus on rather than being on TikTok and scrolling past a video, because it's more than a minute long and your attention span is 30 seconds.
I think building up your attention span is really important.
So being able to sit and watch a show that's an hour long or a movie that's two hours long with your undivided attention is really good for you and also just a good way to keep you off your phone.
Something that I decided to do for 2026 to help keep me aligned with my goals, specifically my self-development goals, was creating a personal curriculum for me to follow.
I'm self-employed.
I am very grateful and privileged to be able to be self-employed and make my own schedule every day.
But one downfall of that is, if you're not on top of things, there's no one to hold you accountable and make sure you're doing what you need to do.
I fall flat when I don't have structure.
I'm someone who can very easily get stuck in a rut and let things fall into the backburner.
Although I'm happy with what I'm doing and I don't regret leaving my old job, I do miss having structure in the way that I had at my old job, where at the elementary school we would time block for the entire day.
I miss that kind of structure.
I miss the kind of schedule that I had when I was in college or even when I was in high school.
So I decided to make a list of things that are important to me and that I want to work on.
Things that maybe in 2025 I felt short on or I didn't feel good about, or I wish I paid more attention to that I want to take care of in this year.
My main goal for this year is to feed my brain.
I just I want to be smarter.
I want to strengthen and broaden my vocabulary.
I want to learn a second language.
I want to be well-versed in random topics and ideas that are fascinating to me.
So my personal curriculum for 2026 is I'm doing word of the week.
Every week, I'm going to choose a new word out of my dictionary app and challenge myself to use that word at least five times correctly throughout the week.
This week's word is jockend, which means merry, cheerful, or joyful.
I also talked about this on TikTok and someone said that I should use my word of the week in the podcast episode for the week and I forgot about that today and I should have done it.
But, moving forward, I'm gonna try my best.
The next thing I'm doing is journaling every single morning, forcing myself to sit down and write for even just like five minutes.
I want to do an entire TikTok video talking about my journal prompts and what I do each morning, because I love my routine right now and I think it'd be so helpful for so many of you.
The next thing that I'm doing is a nighttime crossword puzzle every night, just to engage my thinking, engage my brain.
Right now I'm doing the LA Times crossword puzzle online because it's free, but But I do want to stay off my phone.
So I do want to get the physical book to be able to write in.
It's just a little bit easier right now, but I'm going to get the physical copy soon.
Then I'm doing at least five to 10 minutes per day learning a new language.
I'm currently learning Italian on Duolingo.
Josh and I want to go to Italy so bad for our honeymoon.
So I'm just trying to Learn enough to be able to speak while I'm there because, although I'm sure I could speak English while I'm there, I want to try my best to actually speak the language.
To be honest, the only thing I really know how to say is coffee con latte, por favor.
Even that's terrible.
But coffee with milk, please.
Like that's going to be my go to.
That's all I'm going to want.
I feel like I'll be able to understand what people are saying.
It's just talking.
It's going to be a little bit harder.
But I'm doing my best.
And by the time we get to our honeymoon, I'm sure I'm going to be a pro.
Next at least one podcast, educational video or documentary per week, one nonfiction book and one fiction book per month.
And then I want to get I haven't done this yet, but I want to get a National Geographic subscription.
The only reason I haven't done it yet is because I think it's like $100 for the year.
And I'm a 2026 bride.
I'm on a budget, babe.
But I also want to get a Vogue subscription, which surprisingly was only $15 for the year.
And you get a physical copy every month.
So love that.
The main reason I want those subscriptions is I just want to be well-versed in really everything.
I want to be in a conversation and just whip out a random fact.
I wanna have so much information loaded in my head that I don't necessarily need, but it's cool that I have.
I wanna know more about science and history and fashion and things that you really don't know much about unless you're in school and you're paying attention, or if you're out of school, you go out of your way to learn about.
Like I've already said, I don't think you necessarily need to go cold turkey and cut out digital media altogether.
I think if you're going to consume media, You should make some of it purposeful, instead of just scrolling for hours mindlessly, not learning anything or not taking anything away from what you're viewing.
I mean, think about it.
When you scroll on social media, when you're on Reels or TikTok, you're being fed hundreds of thousands of videos.
And I bet you can't even recall the last five videos that you watched.
You watch one and then you're on to the next.
Instead of doing that, get clear about what's important to you, what you want more of in your life, what you want to see more of.
What do you want to spend more of your time doing?
You can curate what you're learning.
Like me, you know really focus on topics that you care about, skills that you want to build, inspiration that fuels you, and replace passive scrolling with active learning if that's something that piques your interest.
I became very aware that I was just letting time pass me by.
I was getting sucked into the same routines of finish work, go on my phone, or even when I'm working, I'm still on my phone.
I found myself at the end of the night being on TikTok for hours and it didn't make me feel good.
The reason why time felt so much slower when we were younger was because we were trying new things and experiencing new things, and we were very present.
Life can still feel like that now, but we're in charge of making it feel that way.
If you want time to slow down, if you want to be living in the present moment, you need to take responsibility and acknowledge okay, maybe I'm spending a little too much time in the digital world and need to spend more time in my own real world.
If you're going to use this episode as a guideline, I think it'd be useful to break it down into awareness acknowledge that you're spending way too much time on your phone.
Intention, figure out how you want to spend your time And then structure how you're going to schedule and plan your day to hit all the points that you want to hit.
Again, you don't have to feel like the worst person ever for being sucked into social media and scrolling.
I still do it too.
But next time that you catch yourself doom scrolling, ask yourself, What am I actually looking for?
And does it support me right now?
That's where I'm going to end today's episode.
Thank you so much for hanging out with me.
As always, if you haven't already, make sure to follow me on social media.
Keep an eye out for the merch on February 13th.
Give Trying Not To Care a rating on Spotify and Apple.
It really helps me out.
I really appreciate it.
And share this episode with someone who you think needs a little more structure in their life.
I'm so appreciative of all of you.
I love you very, very much.
And I hope to have you back here next week.
I will talk to you next Monday.
Bye.
