Welcome to the Listening Time Podcast.
Hey everybody, this is Connor and you're listening to episode 217 of the Listening Time Podcast.
I hope your English learning is going great.
I hope that you're having fun with the process and that you enjoy using this podcast to help you train your listening comprehension.
So in today's episode...
I'm going to talk about single life.
So I'm not single now.
I haven't been single in a very long time, but I'd like to look back and remember that what it was like to be single, and I can compare that to married life.
So I think this will be an interesting topic.
I'll try to include some positives and negatives from what I remember, positives and negatives about being single.
And so this should be interesting for you and great practice for your listening as always.
And please remember that you can access my advanced podcast episodes in which I speak fast.
I speak at normal speed.
You can access those by becoming a Listening Time family member.
And you can also check out my US Conversations podcast, in which I talk to different native English speakers from all around the US.
It's really interesting.
It's a lot of fun. and it's great practice for your listening.
So please check that out.
Both of those links are down below in the description below this episode.
And from time to time I also have to remind people that the transcript for these free episodes They're all available for free as well, and you can find all the links to the transcripts below each episode in the episode description.
All right, let's get started.
Are your ears ready?
You know what time it is.
It's listening time.
Let's talk about single life, being single.
The first thing that I thought of when I thought of the differences between being single and being married was One of the biggest things is that you are very independent when you're single.
Yeah, you might be dependent on your parents or other people, of course, but what I mean is that You don't have a person, a spouse, who you do everything with and who is just a huge part of every single thing you do.
You don't have this when you're single.
And so you are independent in this way instead of being part of a team, I'll say.
So some people really like this.
Some people stay single for a long time because of this.
They like the fact that they can be independent and that they don't need to be part of this team.
They don't need to think about this other person for every decision that they make and all of that.
So some people want to stay independent and single for a long time because of this.
Some people just stay single their whole life because they like being independent.
Some people don't want to be completely independent.
They actually want to have someone else that is part of their team.
I keep using that word.
It's not the perfect word, but you get what I'm saying.
They want to have a spouse, a husband or a wife, and that is their goal from a young age, maybe.
They really want to make sure that they can get married, right?
So when you're single, when you don't have a spouse...
You don't really have to coordinate things in the same way.
You don't have as much to think about in terms of just coordinating your day, coordinating your life.
It's quite simple in the sense that you need to do things for yourself.
Whereas when you're married, you coordinate things differently.
You divide tasks and responsibilities and all of that.
And you rely on the other person to do things. their part to do their job, their responsibilities.
You rely on each other and you also work together.
You work with your spouse as a team to accomplish goals, do certain tasks, do whatever.
Whereas when you're single, you don't have someone that you work together for everything.
You don't rely on this spouse to do things that you need them to do, because it's just you in that situation.
So I remember when I was single, I had less help with things.
Of course, when I lived with my parents when I was young, that was different, because my parents did a ton of stuff for me.
And I'm very thankful that they helped me out with so much.
So that's different.
But of course, if you are single when you are a little bit older of an adult you're not 18 or 19, but let's say you're in your uh 20s or your 30s or whatever then you probably need to do more things on your own and you don't have a person who you are relying on to help you or do their part or whatever.
So I remember doing a lot of stuff just on my own and I
I didn't really need to think much about it because I wasn't splitting dividing obligations with another person.
So that was different.
And some people like this.
Some people like being fully responsible for all the obligations and tasks and daily things on their own.
And some people don't. like that they can divide this with another person.
So that's a big thing I remember that was different.
Let's talk a little bit about dating.
So let's change gears here.
As we say, let's talk about this element of single life.
So I never experienced traditional dating in the sense that my wife was really my first genuine, real girlfriend.
So I didn't have the typical dating experience that other people have, where they go out with different people and see if they like them and all of that.
But I do remember the pressure of feeling like I needed to date.
I remember the nerves and the pressure that comes with that.
I remember feeling nervous about having to talk to girls with the intention of possibly dating them.
And, like I said, I didn't really experience this whole dating process like other people experience it.
But I remember when I did eventually find or meet my wife.
I should say there was a little bit of that.
Obviously, we kind of had... a little period where I was trying to convince her to go out with me.
As we say, when you go out with someone, this means that you date them.
You're, in a relationship with them.
So I remember needing to be brave and courageous in that sense.
I needed to put myself out there, as we say.
It's like you expose yourself to possible rejection or failure.
I put myself out there to try to court my wife, as we might say like win her in terms of convince her to be in a relationship with me.
So I had to do that.
And it wasn't easy for me because I was always like a little bit nervous when it came to being rejected and putting myself out there.
Like I said, it wasn't something that came easily to me.
So I am happy I was able to do that with my wife, but it was not the easiest thing.
But some people find this dating process really exciting.
I know some of you probably really like this process the excitement of meeting people and getting to know people with the possibility in mind that they might end up being the one for you.
I know that that is exciting for a lot of people.
There's nothing quite like that.
It's a special type of nervousness and excitement.
But I'm glad that I don't need to do that, to be honest.
That is not what I'm strong at.
And so I'm glad I already went through that and I don't need to do that again.
But some of you probably disagree with me and you're excited.
It's a cool thing for you to be in that phase of your life.
Another thing I wanted to talk about is the different social settings that you have when you're single and when you're married.
So when you're single you have different types of friend groups, different types of relationships than when you're married usually.
And you have different opportunities for socialization and relationships depending on if you're single or you're married.
Single people often hang out with other single people.
Of course they might be dating someone or have a girlfriend, a boyfriend or whatever.
That can change things certainly, but i think when you get married it changes things even more.
Married people often appear to be less available for certain social events.
Let's say so when you're single and you're hanging out with other single people.
There aren't really many limitations here.
You don't need to go home to be with a spouse.
You don't have the same obligations or responsibilities.
Your life doesn't depend on this other person, this spouse at all.
So it probably feels like you can do anything.
You're available for all different types of social events.
And that's different when you're married.
Married couples often have different obligations.
They spend time with each other, of course.
So they're not always going to spend the whole day away from their husband or their wife.
So they might not be as available for as many hours possibly.
Married couples often hang out with other married couples.
I think that this is pretty easy and natural when you're married.
You go on double dates.
You host other married couples at your house.
You go out and go to events together.
This just happens easily when you're married.
It's natural for married people to hang out with married people.
I'm not saying that married people don't hang out with single people.
Of course, that happens.
But sometimes it can feel a little bit more natural, if you're single, to hang out with other single people and if you're married, to hang out with other married people.
That's not natural completely 100 the case for me, but I find that some of the people that I spend the most time with a lot of them are married people, and that's just how things work.
I think you might disagree with me on this.
That's fine, but it's something I've noticed in my life, and So that's another thing I wanted to mention.
And once you have kids, this creates even more of a distance, let's say, between the married couple and single people.
Not always, but often.
Many single people would agree to the fact that they don't really have much desire to hang out with other people's kids.
All right.
I know some of you love children and you're great with children, but many people don't think that it's the funnest thing to spend hours with little kids.
Right.
That's not the same as just spending time with your adult friends and having adult conversations, doing different activities that are for adults, not kids.
Like.
This is a lot different when the people bring their kids along or you go to their house and they have kids.
And I'm not saying that this limits you to only having friends with kids if you are married with kids.
But it makes it very easy when you have kids to make friends with other married couples with kids.
It's super easy.
Trust me.
So you can coordinate things social events based on kids activities, and you have play dates, as we say.
Like the kids get together to play with each other and then the parents can socialize.
So if you're single, this is like a foreign idea to you.
This is a foreign world.
So single people probably aren't going to be in those social settings as much, right?
And I don't blame you.
If you're a single person, you're probably not super interested in in going to kids' birthday parties and stuff like that.
Maybe you are cool, but many of you probably aren't.
So another thing that's different when you're single is that you might feel like you have tons of different opportunities, possibilities.
I think that when you're single, it feels like every opportunity is available to you.
Like you can do whatever.
A whole world of opportunities is there for you to discover.
You can make a lot of different choices and decisions that you might not be able to make once when you're married.
You don't have the same restrictions maybe, and you don't necessarily need to settle down, meaning you kind of get married and live a more established family life or whatever.
You don't necessarily need to settle down right now or commit to many things right now.
You might feel like you have a time.
You can do other things, explore the world or whatever it is that you want to do.
You might feel like all the different opportunities are available to you.
Anything is possible when you don't have that huge commitment to another person, your spouse.
Right.
So once you get married, this changes.
Right.
You don't have that same freedom to just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences for the other person.
Right.
When you're single, you can just change your life drastically if you want to.
And yeah.
There are probably effects that other people in your life might feel.
But at the end of the day, it's your life.
You're not married.
You can do different things and make drastic changes to your life and make huge decisions.
And you're only... responsible for yourself.
So this is actually a possibility.
Maybe some of you have done this, but once you're married, this isn't the case, especially when you have kids.
You have to consider your spouse and your kids.
You are committed to them and And so you don't have that same ability to just drastically change your life because you feel like it, because you have these other responsibilities and commitments that probably limit you from doing that.
You're more settled.
You probably have a more established routine and habits, family culture that you've established and family goals, and all of this is just a big presence in your life and so you probably aren't gonna make huge drastic changes just because you feel like it, whereas if you're single, this is actually available to you.
It's possible for you and some people really like this fact that they can change their lives and do whatever they want and that kind of stops them from getting married because they know that once they get married It's not going to be the same.
They'll feel more limited.
And so maybe some of you feel like that.
And maybe you want to get married, but a little bit later because right now.
You enjoy not having that commitment and you know that you have all the opportunities and possibilities available to you if you want to Take a two-year job in a foreign country and live there.
No problem.
You can probably do that.
That's something that's a lot harder once you're married and especially once you have kids.
So that's a huge difference.
So in summary, there are many differences between single life and married life.
And I like remembering my single life.
It's fun to look back and remember the things that I did and thought and how different my life was.
But to be honest, me personally I'm so grateful that I married to the love of my life, of course, and I have my beautiful children, obviously.
And some of you might think that my life seems a little bit boring.
I have a typical family life that might not seem super exciting and unique and full of surprises and all of that.
So if you're young and single, my life might not seem super exciting.
It might seem a little bit boring to you.
But for me, it's great.
I'm happy.
And so this situation is good for me.
But maybe you're single and you're doing really well.
And that's great if you're doing well and you're not ready to get married, or whatever your situation might be.
I think that it's just fun to compare the differences between being single and being married.
So hopefully you enjoyed hearing my perspective on that.
And I'm sure this episode was good practice for your listening.
Many of you are probably ready to move on to my advanced podcast episodes.
So make sure to check those out by clicking on the link down below.
That's patreon.com listening time.
If you become a listening time family member, you'll get two new advanced episodes every month with the transcript as well.
So please check that out.
And also check out my US Conversations podcast.
For a lot of you this will also be a good next step to start listening to my conversations with other people, other native speakers from around the country.
It's great practice for your listening.
And on top of that, it's really educational.
We talk a lot about different states and cities in the U.S.
It's really fun.
So make sure to check that out.
That link is also down below.
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Okay, thank you so much for listening to this episode and I'll talk to you on the next episode of Listening Time.
