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Hey, it's Dora here.
Welcome to Radiohead Space.
So I have a friend who's determined to rewire the way that she connects with others.
She's working to shift from anxious attachment, constantly seeking reassurance, to something steadier and more secure.
She's reading all the books, saving the therapy TikToks, journaling, attending workshops, everything that you can think of.
Initially, the aha moments were coming at her fast and furious, and she was loving it.
But recently she noticed the revelations have been few and far between, and her old ways of being have been harder to break.
Half -jokingly she texted me, why am I not healed yet?
I laughed, not at her, but because I knew exactly how she felt.
We're so used to immediate results.
You order something online, you get it the next day.
You Google a question, you get immediate answers.
But healing, growth, real deep change, for the most part, doesn't work on demand.
Today I want to talk about something that might be cliche, but they're truly one of our greatest teachers, the patience of seeds.
There's an old story from Hindu philosophy about a farmer who wanted his crops to grow strong and tall.
He had done everything right, prepared the soil, planted at the perfect time, and watered diligently.
He woke up early each morning to check the field, waiting for the first signs of green to emerge.
And when those tiny shoots broke through the earth, he felt that rush of satisfaction, proof that his efforts were paying off.
But then came the waiting.
At first, he told himself to be patient.
Growth takes time. But the more he stared at his field, the more he convinced himself that he should be doing more.
He had worked so hard. Wasn't there something he could do to speed things up?
So he started adjusting.
Maybe more water would help.
He doubled his watering schedule.
More sunlight. He cleared anything that cast a shadow.
He even spoke to the plants, encouraging them, willing them to grow.
Still, the progress felt too slow.
He had done everything right, and yet there they stood, barely taller than when they started.
One morning, in his frustration, he had an idea.
He knelt down and gently pulled on the shoots, stretching them ever so slightly, hoping to speed up the process.
The next day, he did it again and again.
At first, it seemed like it might be working.
Some plants even looked a bit taller.
Encouraged, he kept going.
What he couldn't see was what was happening beneath the surface.
The roots, delicate, still forming, were being disturbed.
Instead of anchoring deep into the soil, they were struggling to hold on.
The more he pulled, the weaker they became.
Meanwhile, his neighbor took a different approach. He also woke up early, checked on his field, and tended to his crops.
But instead of interfering, he simply watered them, and he trusted the process.
Months later, when harvest season arrived, the impatient farmer stood in his field, bewildered.
His crops were frail, struggling to survive, but his neighbors, lush, thriving, full of abundance.
And that's when he understood, growth can't be forced, it has to be nurtured.
And I've been exactly where my friend is, wondering if the work I was putting in was doing anything, feeling impatient with my own progress.
stress. But nature tells us the truth.
Growth is happening, even when we can't see it.
My friend is healing and changing her attachment style.
It's just happening at a pace she can't measure day by day.
And it's like when you see a friend's kid after a long time and they're unrecognizable to you.
But to the person who lives with them every day, it's almost unnoticeable.
Nature Nature doesn't rest, it trusts.
A tree doesn't force itself to grow faster.
It takes in water, it soaks up the sun, and allows the process to unfold in its own time.
So if you're doing the work but you don't see the results yet, this is a gentle reminder that growth is happening.
A year or so from now, you're going to look back and be amazed.
As always, friends, thank you so much for joining me this week.
Take care. I'm out.
