The following podcast is a dear media production.
Hello, welcome to or welcome back to Try Not To Care.
If you're new here, hello, my name is Ashley, and she caught me on a bad day.
If I sound so congested and just awful, and my voice is just insufferable to listen to, it's because I'm very sick.
Like I hate my voice to begin with, like I hate listening to myself back, but I can just like imagine how bad I sound this week.
I've been sick since I've I got back from New York on Sunday.
It's Friday now, so like Friday a couple days before you listen to this, and I was just putting off recording this episode all week because I was like, oh, I'll be better soon, and I'll record and everything's gonna be fine.
And things just aren't getting better.
But actually, no, that's not true.
I do feel a little better now.
It's just, I still feel awful.
But I got back from New York on Saturday, actually, I don't know if I said Sunday.
I got back from New York on Saturday because this past week was New York Fashion Week, and this Fashion Week I just felt very anxious about.
I was really excited the weeks leading up to it, but then like a week before I just got really in my head, and I had no interest in being there.
And maybe it was my intuition knowing that I was going to feel awful and my body wouldn't have been able to commit to going to shows and going to events, but this year I just like didn't want to go.
Like I went in the springtime, but I just did not want to be there this fall Fashion Week.
But I did go to one event on Friday night which was for Poppy because I love Poppy so much, and I was like, oh, I'm there.
And it was so much fun.
It really was just like a big party with a lot of famous people and main characters.
Like I saw Patrick Ta.
I spoke to Monet. I spoke to Maria from The Bachelor.
I saw Cassie or I spoke to Cassie and Daniela from Love Island.
Leah and Miguel were there from Love Island.
I didn't see them, but if I did, I would have had a stroke because I love them.
50 Cent performed. Like it was so fun.
It was so incredible.
I had such good time.
But then the next day I went home and although I wanted to go home, I did feel like I wasn't doing enough.
Like I was failing in a sense because Fashion Week is so big in like the work that I do, like influencers and content creators.
Like everyone is there.
It's the time for you to go and network and, you know, meet people and make connections.
And, you know, going to these events are part of my job.
And I just felt like me not going was me self -sabotaging.
Like I see all of these other creators going and networking and creating these amazing connections and furthering their careers.
And I'm going home to Connecticut, kind of just doing what I always do.
And for like a second or a few, I felt like I was a failure.
And I felt really bad about myself because here I am wanting to change my life and wanting to do this full time.
But then I turned away from these opportunities that are given to me.
Like part of me was mad because me two years ago was full on manifesting these things.
And if me two years ago knew that me now was going home and not going to all these shows and events, like I would have been pissed.
But like I said, I just didn't want to go.
I wanted to be home.
And the only reason I was beating myself up over not going was because I was comparing myself to others who were attending those events.
There was part of me that was like, oh, well, they're going to get more opportunities than me.
And I'm not going to have the same connections as them.
And I'm going to fall behind.
And I kind of had this moment of like, wait a minute, I'm kind of being a huge asshole.
Like I'm kind of being a jerk to myself.
And I'm also going against everything that I preach in my podcasts.
Like here I am telling people not to compare themselves to others.
But I'm doing exactly that.
Like sure, those people might make those connections or they might be invited to something in the future that I'm not, or they might be discovered before me.
But their success doesn't take away from mine.
Them doing well doesn't mean that I'm doing bad.
And just because they succeed doesn't mean that I have to follow in their footsteps to succeed too.
You don't need to be a carbon copy of someone else's success to also be successful.
Just because you don't do something exactly like someone else or you don't achieve something at the same time as someone else doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.
You're not behind just because the things that you want seem super like far ahead.
And that's kind of what I want to talk about today.
I feel like so many people get so caught up in needing to have everything right now.
And if they don't have it all figured out or all together, by the time that they see others having it figured out or by the time they thought that it would come together, then they think it's just not going to happen.
They think well I've been working on this thing for this amount of time and I haven't completed it yet so it must just not be working.
I've worked on this project for X amount of years and I haven't finished it.
And I posted this many videos and I still have no followers and I worked so hard but I still don't have enough money saved up.
So I guess that I'm just going to give up because if it was going to work it would have worked by now.
But that's not how things work.
That's not how people's success stories come together.
Very rarely do people do one thing a few times or one time and then have overnight success.
Most success stories you hear, that person struggled and worked their ass off for many years and failed so many times.
The only thing that guarantees failure is if you give up.
The only way that you will succeed is if you try and you work hard.
It doesn't matter how long it takes, just as long as you keep going.
Your direction is so much more important than your speed.
I've shared this story so many times that you're all probably so sick of it like I'm tired of this grandpa that is too damn bad.
I can't even do... I always say that.
I quote it from holes and I can't even do the impression correctly right now because I'm sick and it sounds like shit.
But like I know you guys are sick of it or sick of the story of me telling this story.
But I think sharing my story is so important for anyone new to the podcast or just anyone who's doubting themselves and is about to give up on their dreams.
You might listen to my podcast and be like I want to start one but I'm so behind.
Like so many other people have podcasts and the podcast space is so occupied.
It's too occupied and there's too many podcasters, there's too many influencers.
No one would listen to me so there's no point.
Just like so many people I wanted to be a famous youtuber or like a content creator.
I wanted to make videos.
I wanted to be known for making videos.
I wanted to do it full -time as a job.
I was in fifth grade when youtube came out and I was instantly drawn to it just like so obsessed with it.
I like was the original ipad baby when it came to youtube.
Anytime I wasn't watching makeup tutorials or music videos or skits, I was making them myself.
Like I would spend hours making videos, editing them, like I would invite friends over and we would spend the whole time like making videos together and I loved it.
This episode is sponsored by Dime Beauty.
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This episode is sponsored by Babbel.
At the beginning of this year, I had this realization that I didn't have many hobbies like when people would ask me what I like to do I didn't really know what to say and it was embarrassing that all I did was scroll my phone so I made it my mission to try new things like piano, knitting, knitting didn't
really go well if you guys know you know clay, painting.
I even decided to try to learn Spanish.
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Now let's get back to the episode and I would post these videos on youtube in hopes that I would become well known from them and obviously I didn't but it's not because the videos weren't good I mean like looking back now they weren't good but at the time like they were kind of good but it wasn't because they
weren't good and it wasn't because I didn't try and it wasn't because I didn't care it's because I gave up.
I don't know when I did it but I deleted all the videos and then I went to high school and posting on youtube wasn't cool it wasn't cool to try to be famous on youtube or on social media it was cool to not care so I pretended to not care and I let go of that dream of mine.
My senior year of high school or like going into college I started to have that itch again to start making content and I remember asking my boyfriend at the time what he thought about it and he said something along the lines of like everyone's doing it and not that many people actually succeed at it
and it only works out for a few people and it's not going to work out for you so it's not worth the effort and it's like embarrassing if it doesn't work out so that kind of stuck with me and it reinforced how I felt for so many years.
It reinforced those thoughts of mine of like so many people were doing it and if there's all these people already doing it and are already successful and have millions of followers or subscribers why would anyone watch me?
I also felt like I wasted so much time and it was too late for me but throughout college I tried to get back into it because like although I felt that way I still really wanted to do it so I would post vlogs and makeup videos but it really wasn't sticking and then Covid happened and TikTok became really
big and I realized that I could still create and spread a message and have creative freedom and make videos and do all these things on other platforms so I posted on TikTok for a few years and then in 2021 I discovered podcasts.
The first podcast that I really got into and really changed my perspective on a lot of things was Mindset Magic Manifestation with like lit a fire under my ass.
There was so much that McHale had said that resonated with me and there was this moment of like what if I did this?
What if I tried and influenced people in this way?
What if this is how I get my message out there?
Of course I still had those thoughts of like well there are so many podcasters like Emma Chamberlain and Alex Cooper who are huge and have these big followings so why would someone choose to listen to my podcast over theirs but I wanted to do it and I wanted to do it for more than just building a following.
I wanted to do it as a creative project for me and for my own well -being honestly like I needed a space to put my thoughts and emotions out there and I just felt like podcasting was the thing for me.
My podcast was the first real success I've ever had with building a platform but it wasn't an overnight success.
Throughout the first seven months not many people listened but the reason I kept creating was because the few that did listen always gave me incredible feedback and I felt like I was actually helping people and then towards the summer of 2022 I just started feeling very discouraged and burnt out because I
felt like although I was helping people I wasn't doing enough like I was working really hard but the podcast wasn't growing but throughout those seven months my boyfriend fucking bless his heart he's an angel.
Everyone thanked Josh for him supporting me during this time um he would say to me or he would reassure me that one day the podcast would be big because it was good and he told me that everyone starts small but it will grow and that's what really kept me going.
Him reminding me that really put it into perspective for me and reminded me like my podcast will only be as big as I let it.
The only way it has potential to be big is if I give it a chance.
If I stopped recording and gave up it would have been so much harder for people to find my podcast and listen but if I continued eventually it could take off regardless of how long it would take the time would pass anyways but if I just gave up and stopped doing it of course it's not going to blow up
of course it's not going to be big.
I think back to when I started YouTube and even throughout college when I tried to start it back up I gave up because I didn't believe in myself or see the potential.
I was too focused on everyone else doing good that I didn't believe there was any room for me so I didn't make room and now 15 years later there's nothing to show for it.
I could have been a huge YouTube star but we'll never know because I gave up all because I thought there was too many people doing it and it would take too long.
It would take too long to catch up to people who have been doing it longer than me.
Well the time has passed anyways and it could have passed and I could have ended up with a successful YouTube channel but instead it passed and now I don't have one all because I got in my own way.
The same thing could have happened with my podcast.
I could have listened to the voices in my head telling me that it'll take too long to see any success and there's so many people ahead of me and I could have given up but instead I kept at it and the next month after feeling discouraged my podcast blew up on TikTok.
But imagine if I did give up, imagine if I just stopped recording.
Imagine if I was sitting here now looking back at the past two and a half years wondering what my life would look like if I didn't give up.
I wouldn't know what my life is like now.
I wouldn't have had the opportunity to connect with so many amazing people and hear their stories all because I gave up because I thought it would take too long.
The reason I was so in my head about my podcast wasn't because I thought the material was bad.
It wasn't because I thought it wasn't helping people.
It wasn't because I didn't care.
I mean I cared too much.
We all know I cared too much but at the time I cared about the wrong things.
When I first started the podcast I wasn't really comparing myself to many people because everyone was bigger than me.
Like I was just starting.
Of course I acknowledged that there were huge creators and I was like wow like I'm never going to get to their size but I didn't feel too bad about myself because I was like I'm just starting.
Like what do I expect?
Like of course I'm smaller than everyone else but as time went on and I continued to make episodes I started to look around at people who had around the same amount of episodes that I did and started around the same time that I did or even started after me and I saw them having success and them growing
and I became discouraged and I started feeling sorry for myself.
Like when is it going to be my turn?
Like why is my podcast not translating?
What am I doing wrong?
And I know so many of you can relate to this feeling.
This feeling of like no matter how hard you work or no matter how hard you try you don't get the outcome that you hope for and then you see other people doing exactly what you're doing or like in your mind doing less than what you're doing and they're being rewarded and praised for it and it's like
when is it going to be my turn?
Like when are things going to work out for me?
You become so discouraged by others and their success because you feel like you're doing everything that you can and you're exhausting yourself for very little payoff.
It feels like everything is so much easier for everyone else.
Like everyone else just gets it and you don't.
This episode is sponsored by eHarmony.
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C O. Now let's get back to the episode.
I felt that way for the majority of my life not like not even with just social media but when it came to friends, when it came to school, sports, dating.
I just always felt like my efforts weren't enough but now when I look back at all those times where I felt like I wasn't doing enough, I really wasn't.
Like I was saying that in my head like I feel like I'm not doing enough, like I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I was feeling bad for myself but like I just wasn't doing enough.
I got to a point where I was about to make a breakthrough.
I maybe even leveled up a little bit and instead of being proud of my journey and how much progress I made, I looked at how much further I had to go and then I was like I'll never get there.
I'm not good enough.
I've already tried too hard and clearly it wasn't enough where I'd be there already.
Instead of being proud of myself for leveling up, I looked at others who were still above me and instead of wanting to work harder to continue to level up, I just gave up.
The one thing that I did differently with my podcast and why I didn't give up was shifting my mindset.
Clearly as I've said, I was comparing myself to others and I was becoming frustrated seeing others have more success than I did or like thinking that it came easier to them but instead of allowing that to discourage me and feel bad about my podcast and where it stood, I allowed their success to encourage me
and to motivate me.
Instead of looking at others as my competition, I started looking at them as my inspiration.
Like Emma Chamberlain for example.
Yes she has millions of followers and millions of people who listen to her podcast and yes that can be intimidating for someone just starting out but Emma also had to start somewhere too.
She also had to post her first YouTube video.
She also had to post her first podcast episode.
She had to start somewhere to get to where she's at now.
She wasn't born into a very famous well -known family or at least I don't think she was.
She had to start with nothing and build it into something and if she can do that, so can I and so can you.
Instead of looking at someone else's success and thinking that you're failing because you're not at where they're at or you don't have what they have, use their success as inspiration for your life.
Like someone just got your dream job?
Good. That means that you can have it too.
Someone just bought your dream bag?
Good. That means you can buy that too.
Someone just became a millionaire?
Good. That means that you can too.
Someone just started a podcast?
Good. That means that you can too.
These people achieving these things is literally just evidence for you.
It's the universe. It's whatever you believe in showing you that these things are tangible.
That you can do these things too.
If these people can do it, so can you.
If another human being can experience these things, so can you.
Wouldn't you be more worried if there was no proof that the things that you want can actually happen and that people can actually achieve them?
Wouldn't you be more worried if there was no evidence for that?
You want to see that the things that you want are tangible and that you can actually achieve them.
Also, we know what we want by visualizing things, right?
I didn't know what a pop star was until I saw Hannah Montana but when I saw her, I was like I want to be a pop star.
I want to be famous.
I want to be her and I didn't know what a YouTuber was until I watched Jenna Marbles and I was like yup, sign me up.
I want to do that. I didn't know what podcasting was until I saw Emma Chamberlain and Makayla J and here I am now.
Seeing others achieve things is a way for us to be inspired and to transform ourselves.
Imagine if us women only saw other women slaving for their husbands and taking care of kids and that's it, nothing else.
No other dreams, no other aspirations.
If those are your dreams and aspirations, great.
But imagine if we left to add that.
We didn't see women doing anything else.
Becoming lawyers, becoming doctors, volunteering, becoming CEOs.
Like think about Britney Spears, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Chappel Rhone.
Like when you see these women, you shouldn't feel ashamed that you're not them.
You shouldn't feel bad about yourself.
Like you should feel empowered that you can be like them.
That if they did it, if they did the damn thing, so can you.
Clearly what you want is tangible, it just takes time.
Just because you don't have what you want right now doesn't mean you won't ever have it.
But if you try to speed through things and skip steps, you might not receive it.
When you're too focused on trying to make things work and get things done as quickly as you can, it can be really easy to lose sight of what you actually want and what actually matters to you.
For example, a lot of people want to grow on TikTok, but they get discouraged that their videos are only getting a hundred views and their following isn't growing.
And they want to post beauty related videos or whatever it is that they want, let's say beauty related.
But when they post those videos, they don't do well.
And they see that videos talking about growing on social media does well.
So instead of posting the beauty related videos, they start posting videos of like giving tips on how to grow on social media.
And that's how they end up gaining a following.
But they're not gaining a following for what they want.
And then they get stuck with an account where people only care about how they can help them grow and not what they actually wanted to post about beauty.
All because they wanted that instant gratification of follows and likes.
And now they're doing something completely different.
When they could have posted beauty related videos that held value, that had great tips, and people slowly would have followed, like it would have taken more time, but at least they would have been working in the right direction.
It is way more important to have an actual direction you're working in and take the steps to get there, rather than just finding a direction to go in that makes no sense for you or your desires.
It's better to move slowly with intention than to try to get things done fast and for something to work for you that's not meant for you.
Good things take time, especially the things that you're deserving of.
You don't want to rush something that could be so good for you and then end up fumbling it because you weren't ready.
For example, I always wanted to do content creation.
I always wanted to be an influencer.
I wanted to be well known for my work or like even my mindset.
I just wanted people to like me for me, but imagine if people found my social media in high school or even college when I had no idea who I was or what I actually wanted.
Yeah, I knew I wanted to do social media full -time, but I didn't know what I wanted to do with it.
I was just like posting vlogs and makeup videos, but I didn't really know what I stood for.
I didn't know what my beliefs were.
I didn't know what message I wanted to spread to others.
Imagine if I blew up in 2020 like I wanted to on TikTok and people knew me now for dancing and not for my podcast or anything that like actually matters to me now.
I wouldn't have the right audience now because one, people would be interested in something completely different than my podcast or my thoughts and my emotions and everything that I post online now and two, I might not have even started the podcast because I would have been too focused on making dances.
I also wouldn't have been mentally prepared for what comes with having an audience.
I was so unwell in high school and college and there's just like no way I would have gotten my message across in a stable way or have been able to handle the stress that comes with trolls and online hate that I'm able to now because I prepared myself over the years.
I had to take years to build up my confidence and learn to love myself and figure out what matters to me in order to build a platform that can inspire and help others.
It took time, but it wouldn't have become what it is now without taking the time to craft it.
It's hard to hear this because so many of us focus on that instant gratification, but it takes time to master your craft.
Sometimes the reason you don't have what you want now is because you and that thing aren't ready for each other yet.
It's literally right thing wrong time.
Sabrina Carpenter is a really great example of this.
People think that she was an overnight success because of how popular she is, you know, become over the past year, but Miss Polly Pocket has been working for years.
Like she spent years acting and writing and recording music.
Like she has multiple albums out that like people don't know of because they only know her of her recent album.
If you look back at old videos of her performing, the difference in stage presence to now is insane, but you don't see the years of work she's done and you only see her absolutely killing it on the stage of the Aeros tour and these incredible well thought out music videos.
But the reason she's able to have this big moment now and she's getting her flowers because she spent years practicing and preparing for these moments.
I highly doubt that she would have been able to open up for Taylor and work that stage as as if it's her own show without everything she's done leading up to these moments.
Like if she didn't have years to practice her craft, she probably wouldn't have the star power that she has now.
It takes time to be great, but if there's something that you really want that means so much to you that you believe is like your purpose, it's worth taking your time to make it as great as it can be.
I think it's important to remember that if something actually matters to you, if you really want it, you don't give up on it just because it might take a long time.
Like if you love someone or you want a friendship or a relationship to work, you don't just give up and break up with them after one argument or one disagreement.
If you want something to work, you make it work and you take the necessary steps to make that thing work because it matters to you.
Like if my boyfriend and I were fighting, I'm not going to break up with him because you know like our relationship's worth fighting for.
I know I want to be with him.
I know fighting with him and finding a solution, regardless if it takes more than a day to find, is worth it because being with him, even if we're fighting, is better than starting with someone new.
Think about that with everything that matters to you, whether it be a project or a hobby or a thing that you're learning or going to school or starting a job.
If you want it, take time to see it through because even if it takes 10 years to see through, it's better than doing something you don't want to do that takes one year.
Your dream might not happen right now, but if you take the necessary steps towards it and you work really hard and you commit to it, it can't happen.
But if you quit right now, all because it's taking too long, it will never happen.
We feel like we need to rush things because we want instant gratification and we want to know that things are going to work out for us, but the time is going to pass regardless.
So like you can give up because it's going to take three years and it's going to take so long or you can work your ass off for the next three years and let the time pass and get what you want.
Like if you want to go back to school, but you're in your late 20s and you're like, oh, I don't want I don't want to go because I'm too old and I'm embarrassed and it's going to take too long.
Like I don't want to go for four years.
Guess what? The four years will pass anyways.
And wouldn't you rather have a degree in four years than have no degree?
In four years, you'll be wishing you started four years ago.
You'll wish that you didn't delay your success.
So stop delaying it.
The time will pass anyways.
I hope that today's episode reminds you that it's never too late to start what you want.
It doesn't matter if people started that thing 10 years ago and they got a head start.
Your path is different than theirs.
You guys are on two different journeys and it doesn't matter if they're succeeding because you can too.
Like someone else's success doesn't equal your failure.
The only person that can determine if you fail is you.
Like if you give up on yourself and I just hope today's episode encourages you to not give up, especially on the things that matter to you.
Spend time focusing on what actually matters to you.
Don't worry so much about what others are doing or how fast people are getting things done.
Focus on what matters to you and just focus on your journey and I promise you when you do that you will get there so much quicker.
But that's where I'm going to end today's episode mainly because I'm unwell and it's getting so much harder to speak and to breathe and I like need to go drink a glass of water.
I haven't had coffee in like five days guys.
I haven't had a coffee since Sunday because I read that it's really bad for a sore throat and I just like want to get better.
So I haven't had coffee since Sunday.
I'm losing it and I'm like about to break and have it because I like I'm still unwell.
So it's like you know if me not having coffee isn't helping me then I might as well just have it.
I don't know. I might go self -sabotage myself and have a coffee.
I don't know. I need to go though.
I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
If you did make sure to give Try Not To Care a five -star review.
It really helps me out and I appreciate it.
If you're not already make sure to check out my socials, my instagram, my TikTok, my YouTube all linked in the show notes.
Come and say hi to me on there.
I post a lot on social media.
Like you think I like the app here?
Wait till you see my social media.
Check out the sponsors for today's episode.
They're great. I love them and I think you will too.
And yeah I love you besties and I will talk to you next Monday and hopefully next Monday I won't sound like shit but we'll see.
So I love you besties.
Have a good week or weekend or whenever you're listening to this.
I love you so much.
I'll talk to you next time.
Bye besties.
