Are you tired of being seen as competent but not memorable in high stakes meetings, especially when you know that you're bringing strategic value?
Tune in.
Welcome back to Speak Up, the podcast for high performing introverts, including you, social introverts, where we reveal the charisma and communication secrets of A-listers so that you get the recognition and the opportunities you have earned.
I am your host, Laura Camacho. your magical executive presence, coach, godmother, and strategist.
And by the end of today's episode, you will know the neuroscience behind why unexpected equals smart and confident.
Real world examples of wrong shoe moments you can use today, even if you're not loud or extroverted, and a simple formula to create unforgettable executive communication without being performative or loud or having to exert a lot of energy.
All right.
So the thing is, a touch of the unexpected makes people perceive you as smarter, more confident and more memorable.
And that happens instantly.
You don't need this huge track record.
Surprise and disruption make people curious.
And curiosity is what gets them to engage, even if you're talking to people c-suite or intimidating investors.
So today we are borrowing a tool from fashion design yes fashion, and yes guys, this applies to you too.
You will find this interesting, i think, and it's going to quietly upgrade how you are perceived.
So there is this stylist named allison bornstein, i think.
She's based in los angeles and new york And she has a wrong shoe theory.
So I'm going to take you why the wrong shoe theory becomes a wrong shoe moment.
But I really like her because she's not about chasing trends or buying more stuff.
She's really into curating your wardrobe and shopping what you already own, but making it more stylish and reflect more who you are.
She was one who democratized styling by offering sessions on FaceTime.
I think that was during COVID, actually.
So that was kind of her claim to fame.
And she has a really good book called Wear It Well.
Reclaim Your Closet and Discover the Joy of Getting Dressed.
So I'll link that in the show notes.
So we're taking the wrong shoe theory and we're transforming it, or extracting from it better the wrong shoe moment, which is a micro move that gives your executive communication a confident, strategic edge.
So what is this wrong shoe theory anyway?
And why does it matter?
If her wrong shoe theory says when your outfit, what you're wearing, feels too predictable, too safe, add one element that's intentionally unexpected, such as a sneaker with a dress, a loafer with a long gown, boots with shorts for men it could be a bow tie, it could be sneakers with a suit, or that would be trainers for you in the uk a blazer in an unusual color, or maybe like a fabric, like velvet blazer in the daytime.
It's just that twist of the unexpected.
And what does that do?
It signals confidence because it shows that you're not just following the herd when it comes to dressing.
It shows sophistication for that very same reason, and it appears to be effortless, even though it may take quite some effort to figure out.
What is your wrong shoe style, your wrong shoe moment?
Here is a communication truth that most people miss.
This wrong shoe theory can be applied to you when you speak, when you speak up in a meeting, when you're giving a presentation.
This is to help you jazz it up.
Don't be so expected.
Don't be pure, logic, linear, predictable.
That shows that you're competent.
Everybody listening to this is eminently competent and known for being competent.
But as you're learning, it takes more than that to get promoted to senior leadership.
So I'm going to tell you now how to add this wrong shoe moment.
It's strategic.
It's classy.
It's a touch of the unexpected.
So you use a surprising metaphor, an unexpected example, a fresh analogy, a counterintuitive word switch, you know, just changing one word.
Instead of saying, have a good day, have a splendid day.
People lean in.
People remember you.
You sound sharper, more strategic, more executive.
Hey, because you're showing that edge, that creative edge.
And this is not just about being quirky, even though I like quirky but you don't have to be the eccentric executive.
It's about being deliberately unexpected so that you stand out in a really positive way.
So here's the brain science.
Novelty increases attention.
Research shows that the brain releases dopamine when it encounters something surprising.
That means people literally pay more attention to you when you say something or in some way show up could be a slide.
That's completely unexpected.
They just tune in.
All right.
That's number one.
Number two, unexpected pairings signal intelligence.
Studies from Princeton and the Harvard Gazette show that people perceive someone as more intelligent when they create an unexpected but logical link between ideas.
And what did Steve Jobs say that innovation was, or creativity, you know, was just simply the connection, unexpected connections, between ideas.
All right.
Also, unexpected metaphors create memorability.
Why?
Because they're fresh.
You're not saying the same thing that everybody else is saying.
Neuroscience tells us that metaphors activate more areas of the brain emotion imagery associations, all of which make what you're saying stickier, more memorable.
So when you drop a wrong shoe moment into a meeting, into a presentation, people are thinking wow, that's sharp.
Oh, that wasn't expecting that.
Oh, I really like the way she thinks.
This is extremely introvert-friendly.
All right, so now let's go into what does a wrong shoe moment sound like in executive communication?
I'm gonna give you a bunch of examples and you can steal them.
Number one, use a metaphor no one is expecting.
So let's say you're gonna say something, oh, we need better alignment across our teams.
Okay, here's one option.
This project is like a four engine airplane, and if even one engine is not working right, we lose altitude.
Here's another one I like better, though.
It's a little bit more involved.
And this is about back in 1936.
There was a crew of working class rowers from the University of Washington.
And under Coach Al Ubrickson's guidance, they were transformed by aligning, by collaborating together.
You know the sport of crew where you rode the boat and they won gold in Berlin in 1936 and they beat out the more traditional elite university teams right.
That's the kind of alignment we want.
So you've got something that's clear.
It makes sense, but it's unexpected and it's memorable.
Number two, bring in an example from outside the business world.
This is one of my go-to's.
And I like to get things as you're listening to this podcast from the world of design.
Instead of saying, oh, our data structure needs to be updated.
You could say our tech stack is basically a kitchen with great quality tools and a fantastic oven and so forth.
But there's no counter space so we can cook, but not efficiently.
Unexpected.
That's a wrong shoe moment.
And I've used or helped clients insert cooking metaphors.
I'm a pretty decent cook, very creative, and cooking metaphors love them.
Number three, counterintuitive opener.
Instead of saying, I think we should stay the course, here's a phrase to tee it up.
I know this will sound backwards at first, but staying the course is actually the riskiest move we can make right now.
Let me explain.
So in a few minutes I'm going to give you a bunch of these sentence starters that just tee up interest.
It's a controlled surprise.
Number four borrow from your personal hobbies in a strategic way, instead of saying oh, this new initiative is so complex.
You could say, hey, this is like introducing a new instrument to the orchestra.
If we don't get in tune first, we're just going to create noise.
Unexpected, elegant, smart.
So why does this work especially well for introverts?
Because it's not performative.
It's not adding more energy.
It's not raising the volume, even though you do need to have a reasonably strong volume, I believe.
It's a structural shift that plays to your strengths because you like to think.
And maybe you overthink, you notice nuances, you make connections that are not so obvious.
So the wrong shoe moment lets you show intelligence quickly in a way that leaders instantly recognize as sophistication and confidence.
And here's the best part.
You only need one.
You don't need this for every sentence, one phrase, one metaphor, one example.
And that elevates your entire interaction.
All right, so here is how to make your own wrong shoot moments.
So before your next meeting, ask yourself, what's one unexpected thing but elegant way to frame my point.
Okay, here's three options to get to that, because that may be a little daunting.
So you pull a metaphor from something that interests you.
Maybe it's wrestling, maybe it's cooking, maybe it's fly fishing, aviation travel, tennis anything that is not your industry.
Okay, it could be your family roots in Bariloche, Argentina.
Pull a metaphor from outside your industry.
Number two here are three counterintuitive phrases you can borrow.
This may sound strange, but dot dot dot.
Here's the part that no one talks about.
Let me give you an unexpected angle, all right, so these three phrases, i'll repeat them.
This might sound strange, but here's the part no one's talking about.
Let me give you an unexpected angle.
By prefacing what you're going to say with that kind of phrase, you are signaling value that will guarantee people are going to listen.
And finally, bring in a cultural reference, or reference not from business, but from culture history sports, your child's violin lessons, the Olympics, the World Cup coming up,
This is not about being quirky.
It's about being strategically thoughtful and memorable.
So the next time you're in a meeting you know one of the high stakes meetings remember that competence makes you respected.
You've already got that.
Clarity makes you understood.
I hope you're there and not.
Some of you I know are rambling still a little bit, but you want to be clear.
But it's the unexpected that makes you unforgettable.
That is your wrong shoe moment.
It's not more volume, not more energy, not more airtime.
So just take one of these elements, apply it with attention and you are going to be perceived as a smart confident, strategic leader that you already are.
Now, if you want to see how your executive communication stands, I have an executive presence scorecard, which is a three-minute diagnostic that will reveal which behaviors are your strengths as far as executive presence is concerned and what are your opportunities.
If you would like access to the executive presence scorecard, Simply email me at hello at speakupwithlauracom.
Put the word score in the subject line and I will send you personally the link to that assessment.
Have a glorious day and I will catch you on the next episode.
