The kid you hear playing the piano, he's not mine.
On top of the two weekly piano lessons and finger yoga, I give my son Smarty Pants vitamins to support his brain health.
Because while I'm supposed to say it's not a competition, of course, it's a fing competition.
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So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills.
But it turns out...
That's very illegal.
So there goes my big idea for the commercial.
Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.
Why is the UK not as happy as it used to be?
Thanks for asking.
According to the World Happiness Report, of the 137 countries, they include the UK has fallen to 19th position.
This follows a steady decline over the past few years, although they are happier than Lithuania in 20th position and France in 21st.
As ever, Finland has continued its winning streak and stays at number one, just above New Zealand.
How is the happiness report measured?
It combines both subjective well-being assessments and objective indicators.
Respondents rate their own current lives on a scale from 0 to 10.
They ask people to imagine a ladder, with the best possible life for them being a 10 and the worst possible life being a 0.
The objective indicators include six key variables.
Gross domestic product, GDP per capita, healthy life expectancy, social support generosity, freedom to make life choices and perceptions of corruption.
These are then compared to a hypothetical country called dystopia, which has values equal to the world's lowest national averages for each of the six factors.
What has caused the decrease in happiness?
Well, a combination of factors, really.
The pandemic has played a significant role.
The Office for National Statistics reports that average ratings of life satisfaction, happiness and anxiety all deteriorated in the year ending March 2020, marking the first time since measurements began in 2011.
Also, the rise in child poverty and school pressures, alongside the fear of failure, have contributed to the UK having the lowest happiness level amongst children in Europe.
Is this the same all across the UK?
Actually, no.
People living in the Outer Hebrides score the highest in happiness, according to the ONS, based on their nationwide study where they asked people to rate how satisfied are you with your life nowadays, how happy did you feel yesterday, and to what extent do you feel that things you are doing in your life are worthwhile?
So should we all move to the Outer Hebrides?
Probably not.
According to Richard Layard, a co-founder of the Action for Happiness campaign, this report confirms that the top factor correlating with happiness is health, and the next factor is human relationships, he says in the Guardian newspaper.
So it's time to get healthy, make friends and prioritise mental health.
With happiness levels down and anxiety increasing across the UK, it's clearly time to be investing more in the mental health of the nation.
Not less, said Mubin Batta, the Head of Policy, Public Affairs and Campaigns at Samaritans, also in The Guardian newspaper.
There you have it.
Now you know why the UK is not as happy as it used to be.
In under three minutes, we answer your questions and help you understand the true meaning behind the trends, concepts and acronyms that are making headlines.
Listen along and you really will know for sure.