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Hey friends, it's rosie.
Welcome to radio headspace.
The other day i got a text from a dear friend, one of those soulful, wildly talented women working in the entertainment industry.
She's been grinding for years, finally hit a stride and then boom, laid off just like that.
She texted me something i hadn't been able to stop thinking about.
She said I feel like I was just about to become who I was meant to be.
And now I'm nothing again.
It hit me hard, not just because I love her, but because I've been there.
That moment when the ground falls out beneath you and everything you thought you were building feels like it slipped through your hands.
I sat with that text for a while and then I wrote back.
You're not nothing.
You're in the cocoon.
We talk a lot about transformation like it's this beautiful, empowered, boss-level moment.
Like we're supposed to feel radiant and ready the whole time.
But the truth?
Growth doesn't always feel like growth.
Sometimes it feels like loss.
Sometimes it feels like stillness.
Sometimes it feels like nothing.
But nothing is never nothing.
There's this quote I love and it says just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
And the science behind that transformation, it's wild.
When a caterpillar enters the chrysalis, it literally dissolves into a liquid.
Its old form breaks down entirely.
Nothing recognizable remains.
But inside that goo, A blueprint for the butterfly is already written.
The wings, the patterns, the colors, all of it is this code written in chaos.
And that, to me, is what growth really looks like.
Messy, mysterious, and most of the time, slow.
Too slow.
We live in a world that celebrates speed.
We're taught to rush our healing, to force our breakthroughs, to perform progress.
But neuroscience tells us a different story.
Research in psychology shows that meaningful change, like rewiring thought patterns, healing trauma or building new habits, it takes time.
According to studies from the University College London, it takes an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic.
Not 21, not overnight.
66.
And even then, it's not linear.
There are relapses.
There's pauses.
There's days where the wings, well, they don't work yet.
Or maybe they're just tired.
So if you've ever felt stuck, like you should be further along, like your life's on pause, or like you're stuck in the goo of your own becoming, this is for you.
You're not behind.
You're not broken.
You're not lost.
You're just in the cocoon.
You're cocooning.
And yes, I know how uncomfortable it is in there.
I get it.
I've been in those seasons where nothing makes sense, when you feel like your sparkle is gone, your purpose is blurry and all you can do is wait and wonder.
But here's what I know to be true.
You don't have to see the wings to know they're forming.
You don't have to feel radiant to be transforming.
And you definitely don't have to rush.
So try this when the next spiral hits.
Ask yourself this question.
What does this moment need?
Nurturing or pressure?
Trust the answer.
Because forcing the butterfly out too early doesn't help it fly.
And you, my dear friend, are growing wings. even if you can't feel them yet.
A few days after that first text, my friend messaged me again.
She said, I've decided not to rush.
I'm resting.
I'm writing.
And I'm letting this be what it is.
And I smiled.
Because that's not defeat.
It's wisdom.
And if you're needing a little extra support, check out the Adapting to Job Loss meditation in the app.
That's it for today, friends.
If you're in your cocoon season, resting, unraveling, rebuilding, I'd love to hear about it.
Message me on Instagram at rosiacosta.
Until then, I'll see you back here soon.
