These are my personal opinions.
Always seek a professional when you're making choices about your mental health and well -being.
Ever get rejected by someone that you wanted to date, someone that you were interested in?
I know I have. I know that it has happened to me.
I've actually been in a situation where I was with a girl for about a year and a half.
And then we broke up and we stayed friends and that was hard as hell.
It was hard as hell to stay friends with somebody that I still had feelings for even though she just wanted to stay friends.
I didn't want to hang out with her without being more than just friends.
And then time went on and I got past that and we no longer talk and life goes on and I just had to learn that and I'm sure there are so many people listening now that have probably dealt with this lesson.
I actually got a message a while back from somebody who said I was married for quite a number of years and when that marriage ended I met someone.
I met someone online and we talked every day and then we worked on a project together and I ended up falling for her and she was the very opposite of the person I was married to.
So I was very attracted to her and in many ways she lifted me up she gave me compliments and she just made me feel good about myself in general.
But I may have misread the situation but my friends said I didn't misread it and my counselor said I didn't misread it.
But you know we never talked about like sex or anything like that but the long story short is that I revealed my feelings for this woman and I got rejected pretty hard person goes on to say I kind of feel like there's more to her rejection than just simply not liking me in that way I'm pretty confused by what happened and now I'm sitting here with these feelings of rejection I'm confused like I said and I've been dealing with the divorce and I just don't know how I got it wrong.
She still wants to be friends and she seemed very upset when I told her that I was giving her space and unfollowing her on social media because now you know I felt like that's what I had to do because I don't I've never been in this situation before and our conditions for being friends is that we never talk about this again that's what she said.
So I'm respecting that boundary but really I just need to talk about it because I want to know what happened and why Because it seemed so clear -cut to me This woman I talk every now and then because we actually have a project or projects that we work on together So it's not like these thoughts and feelings just go away cuz I can't pretend like they're not there Anyway, what is your suggestion if you have one?
So that's the message I got.
Thank you for sharing that and yeah, I get that.
You like someone, so you approach them, you ask them out, or you say something, and then you get rejected.
We do this to ourselves.
We set ourselves up for rejection when we don't know what the other person's going to say or what they're thinking.
I'm not saying you did anything wrong, just saying this is the risk we take when we ask somebody.
Even when the signs are there that there, you know, even when there's a green light that you can move forward, sometimes rejection is part of that.
And it's too late now to tell you to prepare yourself for rejection in the dating scene of them.
I don't mean to laugh at you.
It's just, we've all experienced this or many of us have experienced this when we like someone and we try to move forward or we think about moving forward and then they either reject us or we find out that they're in another relationship or they don't really like us that way like it happened to you so to those who haven't approached someone and you are planning on doing that this is not necessarily for this person who wrote but maybe it is for next time they approach someone.
But the way I look at it is prepare for the NO. You prepare for it.
You just plan on it being there because if you don't plan on it being there, then this is what can happen.
You get shocked, you get confused, you get surprised, and then you start wondering what did you do wrong or what's wrong with me?
Am I not likable? Am I not lovable?
Am I not dateable? All of these thoughts can happen in very few nanoseconds after you get a rejection and it's not necessarily a good idea to look at it as a rejection.
I would just look at it as they're either not ready, they're not interested, they have other plans, but looking at it like it's a rejection, it takes away someone's ability to make a choice.
If you ask somebody out on a date or whatever and they say no, to honor their no, to honor that choice is a kind, caring, supportive thing to do for someone.
Hey, you want to go out and get some coffee sometime?
No, okay no problem.
The difference between that and when they say no thanks and you go what I thought everything was you know hunky -dory with us and I'm not trying to put that person down again.
I don't think they did anything wrong to approach someone and ask them out.
I just think you have to know that the possibility is 50 -50 no matter what.
I think it's important that you have this perspective with anyone, even if they appear to be green lighting you, to ask them out.
I think it's important to remember that it could be a yes or a no or even a maybe, but to include the no in the possibility of things that could occur when you approach someone.
That way, you are more prepared.
Now what if there are a lot of signs, a lot of green lights?
Here's the thing, I've worked with people of the opposite sex that I was attracted to that I knew were off limits yet there was some flirting, there was laughing.
There was some attraction and it seemed like there could have been a green light but the person was in a relationship and I was in a relationship.
And this is a long time ago in my twenties.
Please don't judge me but that's what happened and I was in these work situations with women I was to.
And we were young and we would chat a lot, and we would really get along well, and it wasn't because we were trying to get closer, it was almost an escape.
It was almost an escape like a fantasy, like, wow that would be nice to be with this person if I were single.
It would be nice to be with this person if circumstances were different.
Maybe I'll think that, maybe she thought that.
Or maybe work was just work and it was nice to have that escape from work.
And I'm not saying I promote this with people who are married and you're in a relationship.
No, it can cause damage to a relationship if you're flirting and having some sort of emotional affair with somebody at your work or wherever.
You do have to be careful.
You do have to know where the line is, but I do remember being in work situations, and I work from home now, so this never happens, only with my wife, which is a good thing, but it did happen and it does happen.
I know one of the things I thought is that it was nice to feel attractive.
It was a nice feeling to be seen when I was at work, when somebody was attracted to me or when I was out and about on the road or whatever and somebody like somebody once mentioned to me that we should go out to dinner sometime and I don't think she actually used those words but I asked her the question, are you trying to pick me up?
Which I thought was a lighthearted way to broach the subject.
That can be a light -hearted way to broach the subject with somebody to find out where they are.
It kind of puts the responsibility back on them to find out where they are.
So if I said, are you trying to pick me up, in a light -hearted, laughing way, like I think that's what I did.
I said, all right are you trying to pick me up right now?
And she said, maybe, which I thought was cute.
It was flirty and again there was no tension there was no confusion and when I said you know I'm in a relationship I don't think we can do that and she said okay and that was it it was cute it was innocent it was a feeler and I'm a safe way the feeler and I think it's okay to have these feelers out with people in a way that doesn't just open the door and say hey will you go out with me and I hope it's a yes because what if it's a no?
Because here's the thing.
The person who wrote they believed it would have been a yes.
It made sense. Everything is in alignment here.
We're getting along great, so I'm just going to pop the question, but you did have to pop the question.
I mean, I say pop the question, that will be marriage, but pop the question about a date, and when you ask that question or asked her out on a date or whatever, You got a what you call the rejection and what I might call I'm not interested or at least I'm not interested in that kind of relationship with you, which is much different than a rejection even though it feels like a rejection, but if you view it as somebody who's not interested it doesn't become about you it becomes about them.
And I'm not pushing you in this direction saying hey that's her not you you know we hear that all the time it's me not you but if you're going to at least save yourself from the stress or anxiety or confusion or misunderstanding that can lead to hurt feelings it does help to prepare in advance that they may have different thoughts about you even when there are close quarters when you are even flirty a little bit, even when you're both single.
I mean, there could be a lot of criteria that is on the table that you can both look at and say, hey this checks all the boxes, we could actually be a couple.
It's like when my wife and I first met.
There were several months of friendship and back -and -forth phone calls.
It was long -distance and I told her I'm not interested in dating.
And, I mean, we met on a dating site.
Right like a month after I signed up.
I said, what am I doing?
I just got divorced.
Just similar to this person, I just got divorced.
I'm still licking my my wounds.
I still need to work on myself.
I still need to heal.
I need to heal from the divorce, and I need to make sure that I don't bring that version of me into my relationship and it took me about a month after my divorce was final to make that call to make, to have that realization.
I don't want to bring that version of me into the next relationship that I'm in so I'm cutting off dating and that's what I did.
So a month after I was signed up for two online dating services, you may have heard this before but, the day before I was going to get off the last site.
I was signing out for the last time Aasha sent me a message and it was a very benign message.
Hey I notice you're in this business I'm curious what you do.
How are you making money?
And it was just a normal question because she was interested in the things I was interested in.
And she wasn't saying hey let's go on a date it was just a very nice no obligation message.
And so I remember I sent her my reply hey this is a dating site and I realized I'm not actually ready to date.
I am still healing I'm living in my mom's basement right now I have no money.
It was really honest but I had nothing to lose nothing to gain it didn't matter.
I just wanted to be honest and so I told her my situation and I said I know this is a dating site and you're reaching out but Please know that I am kind of off the books here.
I'm not on the site to find someone in my life.
And I really need to choose to be single for now.
She loved it. She loved my message because in her words, it was refreshingly honest. So I didn't try to impress her.
I didn't try to tell her that I was more than I was.
I just, I gave her the sob story.
and I wasn't playing the victim, I just owned it.
This is where I'm at, this is what I'm doing, this is how much money I'm making or not and I'm not really in a position to date because I still need to heal from all the dysfunctional behavior that I pulled in my marriage and my many other relationships.
So I told her, I'm not ready to date, and again she said, oh my god that's so refreshingly honest and we we laughed about it back and forth through messages and I just shared my life and what has happened and she shared what was going on in her life and we became really good friends and she knew that I was not available because I made myself not available so that was already out there and I knew that she was available so if I really had an interest I probably could have said something but I was just starting my healing journey.
So anyway fast forward a few months after many many phone calls.
I mean we talked every day and I never expected it to go anywhere I didn't want it to go anywhere I just wanted to be friends it was nice to be able to chat with somebody and express what was going on I told my mom because I was living with my mom at that time and I told her that I met this girl online and we're just friends and I said she's crazy and I meant it I said she's crazy she talks about all this stuff and My mom was unconvinced.
She said, You're going to be with her.
I know you are. I like a psychic prediction.
And my mom is pretty good at that stuff.
But anyways, we weren't together, we weren't going to be together.
That was my plan. That was my thought process back then.
And then one day, Asher cracked open the door to a possibility.
And that's what I'm talking about of someone who lets you say no or yes.
That's what she's doing she cracked open the door to a possibility in the most passive way possible and um she cracked open that door by saying it's too bad you weren't close her because we could probably date and see where it goes.
Again long distance relationship but the way she said that allowed me to comment on it or answer her, or not.
I could have said, yeah that's too bad.
I could have said, no I'm not interested.
I could have said, I like our friendship the way it is.
I mean, it doesn't matter.
She allowed me to be who I am because we had been so close as friends for so long that we were all so honest with each other.
we did talk about the people we've dated, the people we're interested in, we talked about everything.
I would even ask her how's your dating life going?
So, there was never the assumption that we were going to be together someday or anything like that.
And it was a safe place to communicate that stuff.
And that is very helpful when you are in a possible future dating situation is to allow the other person to talk about the things that might upset you if you were dating.
If I can put it that way, for example, if I did have feelings for her and I did want to date her someday, I probably wouldn't ask how's your dating life going or maybe I would because I want to find out but you know there's nothing attached to that.
how are you doing did you have a date last night how did it go those general questions that you would ask a friend a friend maybe that you weren't attracted to you would ask those questions right like for me people I'm not attracted to like other men I if they're my friends I would ask how was your date last night because there's no possible connection that we're gonna make on a romantic And so, there's no fear that it's gonna hurt my feelings.
I mean, that's what friends do, which is why sometimes if you're a friend with somebody that you're attracted to, the conversations might sound a lot different.
And that's what you have to be aware of.
Like, are we having conversations as friends?
Am I supporting their dating life?
Am I supporting their marriage or whatever?
Because if you are, then that kind of defines friendship more than anything.
or at least supporting someone that you care about.
So I don't want to get sidetracked there but the whole point was...
Asha said that it's too bad that you weren't down here because we were a thousand miles apart because we could go on a date and see if there's something there.
I said wait -wait -wait -wait...
I thought we agreed that we weren't going to date.
That's what I said and she said no I mean if you were here we could try and see what happens but no I still I like our friendship and the way it's going and that's fine.
And she meant it. It was fine but we had been talking on the phone every day and taking up so much of each other's time that it kind of made sense to bring up that subject in that way.
So she knew that I was sort of off limits or not on the market and she still approached it letting me have any answer that was comfortable for me.
And that was the key.
It was okay for me to say no, it was okay for me to say yes, it was just okay.
Because here's the thing, is that when we fall for someone, I mean, maybe you don't need to know this, but somebody out there needs to know this, when we fall for someone, when we care about them and we have strong feelings that might turn into romantic feelings, When we have the beginning or the onset of those kinds of feelings, they may not be in the same place even when the signs all point to yes they are.
Even when the light is green or at least what you think the light is green even when the flirting is there and the deeper connection and it just when there's like that there you might be developing feelings or they might be developing feelings and the other person isn't and when the other person isn't how do you learn that's where this person was how do I learn where the other person is it it seemed like it was going in that direction sometimes you don't know and sometimes you have to find out or you want to find out because if you're interested in you hope they're interested I think it's important not to
fall in love fast. I think you should take it slowly and incrementally to discover if they feel the same way or similar to you before it goes anywhere.
In my story, Asha, she said that we're spending a lot of time on the phone.
It was a a logical progression to perhaps go even further to her.
It was analytical, but she understood that she was starting to feel something.
She felt comfortable and I felt comfortable talking to her.
We both felt safe talking to each other.
We both felt like we could tell each other anything.
So, the transparency was there.
The honesty was there.
And we were also talking about dating and dating other people.
We brought those subjects up and I think in a lot of situations like this where you might be attracted to someone you don't talk about it and when you don't talk about it you don't know where they are with it.
If you ask somebody how's your dating life and they say oh I'm going on a date tomorrow I'm excited about it then it does help you understand that they may not necessarily be interested in you because they are still seeking alternatives that may not be true, but it does help to squash the energy a little bit like if you are really starting to have feelings it does help to squash that energy a little bit in a good way so that you don't get too invested because that's what happens.
We start to feel something for somebody and our mind starts to become preoccupied with thoughts about them and then our our heart starts to get this connection with them that they may not be reciprocating, but we're starting to invest internally emotionally with someone who may not be in the same space, and then that can build up this feeling of rejection if they say no, which is why it's probably a better idea to address it earlier, if it's on your mind, so that all of that investment doesn't create this build up for a huge feeling of disappointment or confusion or what have you when you finally
approach the subject.
So in this person's case they approached the subject they asked the big question I I wish they told me what question it was like hey you want to go out for coffee or hey would you like to spend some time together I don't know the question was but it probably wasn't something along the lines of hey I'm gonna be at this show tomorrow night if you want to come, or hey I'm gonna go see this band play if you want to join me.
That allows the opportunity for someone to say yes or no and that opens the door maybe a little more if there's a possibility of a romantic connection.
But if they said hey will you be my girlfriend that might be jumping to a huge place even if they're interested.
Again this may not apply to everyone, you may already know the basics of dating all that stuff but this person wrote and they were talking about this and they were in a long marriage.
I think it was like over two decades so it's quite possible they don't know how to approach somebody when it comes to dating or don't know how to approach them in a way that allows them to make a decision that is okay with them and all that means is you are giving them the freedom to choose one way or the other you're giving them the freedom to be themselves to be transparent to say no if they don't want to be with you or don't want to pursue that path you're not making it uncomfortable for them.
That's why the approach is so important in my opinion.
The approach is so important.
For example, I always believe that approaching somebody in the gym, and saying, hey you look great and would you like to go out sometime?
That tells the other person that it's mostly physical right now.
There's no getting to know you point, or you know if they didn't meet before in the gym, or if they never said hi and you just walked up to somebody in the gym and you said would you like to go out sometime that tells me they're they're basing it on physical appearance and it's going to make some people uncomfortable it will make some people say yes of course but they're gonna get rejection when there a lot of people go to the gym just to not be bothered work on themselves for themselves or for the person they're with but to be picked up some people are be uncomfortable about it.
Some people are going to be flattered about it.
Some people might say yes and maybe there's success there.
I don't know, but the whole point is you honor somebody when they say no and you expect that no so that you are prepared for it mentally.
And you also don't invest so much into somebody else who you don't know if they've invested into you and, you know, this is a complex game.
I know that this isn't black and white.
You could be at a convenience store and somebody says hi and then suddenly there's a conversation and you get to know each other and then you're trading numbers and it could happen.
So I know it's a complex game and there are many scenarios that we could unfold and talk about.
But let me get back to this person who really wants to okay here's the thing I opened up to her and now it's awkward and they didn't use those words but it's awkward because I'm trying to respect their boundary and now they want to still be friends and we have to talk every now and then because we have this project but I have these thoughts and I have these feelings and I have this confusion here's what I want you to do this person I want you to approach her one more time and say, I just want to apologize to you for assuming that you were in the same place I was and I also realized that because you
weren't in the same place I had a lot of expectations and those expectations I unfairly placed on you.
I made you the bad guy by saying no and here we are and that's I put us in an awkward situation and that was completely unfair and I'm so sorry about that and I just I just want to let you know that I've done a lot of reflecting on this and I realized how much I I was looking for companionship I was married for a long time and then you know I'm not really good at dating or asking people out and I don't really know what green light looks like or an open door looks like so I jumped the gun and because I did that again I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I put our friendship and our work relationship in jeopardy
I hope we can get past this so that we can work together more comfortably and I wanted to let you know that because I've done all this thinking reflecting on it that I will not make it awkward for you I still see you as a friend and I hope that we can stay friends and I'm willing to move past this if you are now that's my approach that would be something that I would say if it was like completely awkward but we had to get past it I don't know if that's your truth yeah somebody might hear that and say well if that's not true Polly shouldn't say that but I think when you were friends and you're
working on something together or you work together and there's some awkwardness in between that somebody has to take that step somebody has to say look I apologize I did jump the gun and I'm so sorry and and then you add something vulnerable something personal that's true for you I'm going through my divorce I was looking for somebody that maybe wanted to spend more time with but you know I misread the signs I'm so sorry and I'm I'm banking off for sure and I will definitely not approach that anymore now that I know where you are just okay I hope this clears the air I'm so sorry I said it better
earlier but that's my approach is that you just put it out there because if you don't put it out there and you feel awkward that is going to permeate into your work relationship and your friendship.
So I would recommend or I would suggest putting it out there and apologizing in that way and letting her know, hey, it's cool.
We're cool. I'm cool.
I did invest more than you did or I was emotionally invested and I was starting to have feelings and that was just dumb or whatever.
You don't have to say that but I'm thinking if I were in your shoes I was just dumb.
I didn't know where you were and I know that I still have healing to do.
This is again me. I know I still have healing to do from my divorce.
So I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry about that and I hope we can get past this.
So take something of what I said there and use your words and put it in a way to help remove the awkwardness and then you have to commit to not approaching that subject again even when there are signs that she is open to it Because of what I said earlier, maybe she just likes that little escape to have you there.
I hope that doesn't hurt to make you think that.
That doesn't mean she doesn't like you.
In fact, if anything, it means that she feels very safe with you to be more of herself.
Maybe more of her playful self.
Maybe more free to speak freely.
And because of that and because maybe you aren't that experienced in the dating scene because you've been married for so long that you aren't aware of how people that could be attracted to each other either people of the opposite sex, the same sex, whatever, if there's an attraction there at least on one side then you can still be friends.
I've had female friends over the years that honestly they were attractive.
I found them very attractive yet I was in a relationship they were in a relationship and there was no possibility but they were attractive I probably would have considered dating one or two of them throughout my life if neither one of us was in a relationship but we were so I kind of treat everyone like that I kind of treat people as if they're already in a relationship and they are off -limits I mean not so much anymore I'm now older and I've been with Asha for a good 10 years now so I never even think about it anymore.
But when I was younger and definitely when I was single, it was a lot easier to treat people than I was attracted to as taken not available.
Now that doesn't mean I wasn't looking for signs but and that's the hard part right?
Knowing what the signs are.
You don't know what the signs are or you don't have enough experience to understand if they have the same feelings for you, but that's why you approach any subject that opens that door with the possibility that it could go either way and they feel safe to go either way.
For example, it doesn't feel very safe to approach somebody and say, I love your personality, I find you very attractive, will you go out with me?
And And they may find that funny or they may find it flattering or now they may find it awkward because what if they don't want to?
And I really like letting people be okay saying no. I like letting people feel okay not being interested.
And if I were single again and I wasn't crying because I didn't have Asha in my life anymore I didn't need to heal for years and years.
I'm saying this for her benefit, in case you're listening.
I mean, if we got divorced, it would be terrible, but I would eventually heal, and I'd be single.
And I would talk to people as if they were taken, but I would approach life, I would approach people being the single guy I am and just being friendly and being myself.
but not putting them in an awkward place that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to ask somebody on a date or something but my approach is always passive hey I'm going to be here tomorrow you're welcome to join me if not I'll see you next time it's so passive and it allows people to say no it allows people to say yes it allows them to if they don't show up it's no big deal because we have to make no big deal.
And that opens the door for possibility.
Just my approach is, it's very personal approach that I would take.
Some people are more direct, some people are getting old and they would rather be asked out.
It's just, just ask me out.
If not, then I'm moving on.
That could be, but just be ready for rejection if you are more direct.
And if you're okay with rejection, you should be prepared.
You want to go out, that's fine too.
I just wanted to ask to see if you were available.
To the person who wrote to me, thanks for sharing that.
I know it's probably very challenging now and I hope that this helps you if you are still dealing with that or anybody out there that is dealing with the awkwardness of asking somebody out and they said no and now what do you do because you are still hanging out you're still friends or whatever.
Hope that helps and real quick to end the show, somebody wrote and said, hey, mother's day is around the corner.
It saddens me that my coworkers family and wife is celebrating their mom's special day.
I'll be praying and crying to my mom who passed four years ago.
I guess I may have some jealousy for those who still have their moms. I just can't see myself plan anything for such a day.
And you know, for a time that meant so much to me and now just brings me upset and jealousy.
I feel like every year I just get more and more distant and not caring.
It gets harder and harder for me to cope.
This could be another show altogether but I wanted to approach this really quick because Mother's Day is coming up.
Thank you for sharing that and I don't have a good answer but I will tell you, I mean maybe this is a good answer, I don't know, But I will tell you what I would do.
My mom was still alive and I call her on Mother's Day and we talk, I don't send her anything.
I just talk to her and connect with her.
And I know, I know that feeling of having a mom in your life.
It's wonderful when they're wonderful.
When they're not wonderful.
It's not a good thing when they're toxic or abusive.
That's not a good thing.
But this person clearly cared for his mom.
And I get that, you know, you care for somebody in your family, especially someone who raised you and you know, you got to have that grieving.
I know there's grieving and then Mother's Day, which celebrates moms, you got to have that grieving and I think about when my mom dies, how that's going to feel.
How am I going to feel on Mother's Day?
And I have been, you know, I read this a week or two ago, and I have been thinking about what would I do?
Where would I be? How should I approach Mother's Day or her birthday what do I do it's gonna be so sad to lose my mom and yeah I totally can relate but not fully because she's still here and yours isn't and so there's a loss there and when we lose someone a piece of us feels like it's gone and this is the same with romantic relationships I believe that when we're in a relationship with somebody else it's three people or three entities, it's you and the other person and then both of you.
It's you, me and we.
And that we disappears along with the you.
So your mom disappeared along with who you were with your mom.
A part of you has gone when she left or when she passed.
A part of you went with her.
That's the loss, That's the feeling that's the hole that you still have that you haven't been able to fill And it's important to fill that not replace it But fill it And i've been wondering ever since I read your message, how would I do that if my mom died and she left?
so there's a there's a part that I miss and then The we that was us together our conversations our connection that part of me is gone, too and now I have this void or this gap in me and that it just feels like a huge loss and I definitely have to grieve that loss I have to come to an acceptance you know go through the stages of grieving and just come to that acceptance that she's not here which is going to be hard but then what do I do let's just say I go through these stages and I still miss her and I still love and I wish she was in my life, what do I do then?
And so my approach may not work for you.
But this is something I was thinking about for the last couple weeks.
And what came to mind is, if my mom was no longer here, then I can't put my energy toward her.
But I have to remember, my wife is a mom.
I have to remember that there are moms running CAS registers at the grocery store on Mother's Day.
I have to remember that there are moms and grandmothers in nursing homes that haven't been visited or can't be visited by their children.
They're either out of town or their children are gone.
I have to remember that there are so many other moms and you know these don't replace my mom's but I have to remember that these other moms might be missing something in their life, too.
And when I think like that, I picture myself you know going to the store on Mother's Day and seeing a woman run the CAST register and asking her are you a mom and if she said yes giving her the flowers I just bought bringing the flowers to the register giving her those flowers and saying happy Mother's Day and then walking away just to show her that I cared about her this is something they say about depression, to helping others, volunteering for others, giving your energy, giving your kindness, your love, and your support to others.
Because that kind of thing, and not only that kind of thing, but that kind of gesture is what starts filling the hole.
When you give to someone else and you see their expression and they're just so thankful and they give you that smile and they're so grateful.
I mean making somebody's day like that just tears me up just thinking about how there are so many people in the world that have lost someone or don't have the connection that they want to have with someone.
There's a lot of loss out there and sometimes people that we want in our life can't be there.
Sometimes we can't be with those people.
And so what can we do?
I want to see a smile from a mom's face which would just make me feel fulfilled.
It may not replace what I had, but I think it would help two people that day.
It wouldn't just be for me.
It would just be amazing to see somebody else's reception of that.
how they felt, what they thought.
You know, something like that sticks with you.
Something like that is a story that someone tells for the rest of their life.
You know, one day this guy came into the store and he had these flowers on the conveyor belt and he paid for them and then he just handed them to me!
It was the most special day of my life.
That's how I think of that and I don't we are volunteering, when we are giving to others, it can start to fill some of that loss inside of us.
That's how I see Mother's Day and if you are listening to this and you celebrate Mother's Day and if you're a mother, Happy Mother's Day and I just want to give you these flowers that I have in my hand right now.
I care about you, I love you, and I hope you have the best day ever.
Thanks for listening to another episode of The Overwhelmed Brain.
I want to mention the I am so grateful for the patrons that give to me!
I am honored and appreciative of your generosity.
Thank you patrons, I am grateful for you.
And if you want to give back like these patrons do, head over to moreontob .com and there are options to do that over there.
And for a show on how to navigate difficult relationships, listen to my other podcast called, Love and Abuse, over at loveandabuse .com.
And if you know you're the difficult one in the relationship, join the program that is helping a lot of people heal head over to Healedbeing .com and with that always keep your mind open because that's how you make the best decisions.
Be firm in your decisions and actions so that you can create the life you want.
Always take steps to grow and evolve.
You are powerful beyond measure and above all and this is something I absolutely know to be true about you.
You are amazing. you
