Today's topic is one that hits close to the heart.
We read so many comments in our videos and it's one of the things that has stood out for us.
The idea of saying you're fine when really your heart is shattering and you're on the brink of erasing yourself from existence.
That's why, in today's video, we hope that it not only validates what you're going through, but that it reaches those who might need it too.
This one's animated by Rose Lam, our same animator who animated for our things, not to say to someone who's suicidal.
Link in the description box.
When someone asks you, how are you?
Have you ever answered?
I'm fine without even thinking about it.
You smile, you show up, you get things done.
And from the outside it looks like you're holding it together, but inside you're exhausted, a little numb or quietly overwhelmed in ways you don't have words for yet.
If that sounds familiar, yeah, you're not alone and you're not broken.
You're human.
And today we're talking about why so many of us pretend to be okay, even when we're not.
Why we do it.
Pretending to be okay isn't always lying.
In psychology, it's often a coping strategy.
For many people, especially those who grew up having to be the strong one, being okay becomes a role, not a feeling.
You learned that emotions slow things down, vulnerability makes people uncomfortable and being low maintenance keeps you safe.
So your nervous system adapts.
Instead of asking, how do I feel?
It asks, what do I need to do to get through today?
And sometimes that means putting on a version of yourself that functions, even if it doesn't feel alive.
But there's a hidden cost to I'm fine.
The problem isn't pretending once in a while.
The problem is when pretending becomes your default.
Because emotions don't disappear when you ignore them.
They just go quiet and wait.
Over time, this can show up as sudden emotional crashes when you're finally alone, irritability over small things, feeling disconnected from people who care about you, or a sense that you don't even know what you feel anymore.
You might tell yourself, other people have it worse.
I should be grateful.
I don't want to be a burden.
But minimizing your pain doesn't make it lighter.
It just makes it lonelier.
Before we continue, we just want to say this.
Thank you for being here, for being a part of our Psych2Go community, for leaving comments that the channel has helped you.
It really means a lot.
Even if you don't think we read them, we do.
We're glad that you're here.
Now back to the video.
Why it feels safer to pretend.
For some people, pretending to be okay is about protection.
If you've been dismissed, misunderstood or hurt before your brain learns that showing how I really feel isn't safe.
So instead of expressing sadness, you intellectualize it.
Instead of asking for support, you handle it yourself.
Instead of resting, you push through.
From the outside it can look like resilience, but from the inside it can feel like carrying a weight no one else can see.
How to start being honest without oversharing.
Being real doesn't mean telling everyone everything.
It can start small, like admitting to yourself, I'm not okay today, and that is allowed.
Saying I'm a bit overwhelmed, instead of I'm fine, letting yourself feel without immediately fixing it.
This is why we've been creating guided meditations and grounding videos.
Not to make feelings disappear, but to help you sit with them safely instead of carrying them alone.
Sometimes the bravest thing isn't opening up to others.
It's stopping the performance when you're by yourself.
On a final note, you don't have to be okay to be worthy.
You don't owe the world constant strength and you don't have to be okay to be lovable, and you don't need a good reason to feel the way you do.
If you've been pretending to be okay for a long time, be gentle with yourself.
That version of you was trying to survive, and now maybe you're allowed to do more than just get through the day.
This video is animated by Rose Lam, the same talent from Hong Kong who animated our series on things not to say to someone who is suicidal.
If this video has made an impact on you and you're considering therapy, we also have a link as well.
We've partnered with BetterHelp to bring therapy closer to you.
They are striving to always improve their policies and transparency and screening process for therapists.
Many have benefited from them and you can always give them a try using our link below to get 10 off.
In doing so, we do get a commission as well, which we use to create more videos like this.
