Hey, smarty pants, trusty narrator here, as you can hear I am in a stadium attending a pretty wild sporting event.
Nope. It's not baseball, or football, or soccer.
Here's a hint. I used my time traveling app.
To go back to ancient Rome.
And now I'm sitting in what's considered the most famous arena in all of world history watching things like this and this and even this.
Any guess what this arena is called?
Did you say the Roman Colosseum?
That's right smarty -pants.
Great job if you got it.
Now, you may have heard about the Colosseum or even seen it in a movie.
Maybe you've even visited it.
But for those who haven't, the Roman Colosseum is where they held something called gladiator fights.
100 bucks on the guy with the cool scar!
100 bucks on the guy with the cool mask!
100 bucks on the lion!
Woo hoo, pay up boys!
Yup, things got pretty hairy inside the Colosseum, which was pretty crazy in and of itself.
For one thing, the Colosseum is over two football fields long, 500 feet wide and 16 stories high!
It is the largest amphitheater in the world!
Woah! An amphitheater, by the way, is an open -air arena used for watching sports, entertainment or performances.
In short, the Colosseum is colossal!
But how was the Colosseum built?
What events took place there?
and what was it like to be a gladiator?
It's time for another whiff of science and history on...
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Wow, the coliseum is so big, it's hard to find my seat.
Hey, maybe that guy in a cool purple toga knows.
Excuse me, do you know where I can find seats L -V -I -I -X?
What citizen dares address the Emperor directly?
Do you want to be thrown into the arena to fight lions and gladiators?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm just here to spectate.
I'm the trusty narrator.
I host a podcast called Who Smarted?
Who Smarted? Take him to the dungeon.
He fights tomorrow.
Uh -oh. I better get back to the future, smarty pants.
Wait. Did you say you're from ...
the future? Yes, I'm here to teach the smarty pants about the Colosseum.
I see! Release trusty Future Man!
Come. Sit beside me as my guest.
Let me teach you about my Colosseum!
And you are? How dare you insult me, pretending not to know the emperor!
Guards, take him away!
Wait, wait, wait! I wanted to introduce you to the smarty pants.
Oh! Leave him be! I am the great Roman Emperor Domitian.
I pretty much run this place.
Oh, and let me point out, it's not called the Colosseum because of its colossal size.
In fact, we Romans here in 80 A .C .E.
don't even call it the Colosseum.
What do you call it?
Simply the amphitheater.
Why, it's the largest and most magnificent amphitheater ever built, If you say, I'm going to the amphitheater, pretty much everyone knows which one you're talking about.
Some call it the Flavian Amphitheater.
After my family, the Flavians.
But I know they're just kissing up to me.
The colosseum wouldn't be called the colosseum for almost 1 ,000 years.
Smarty pants, how did the colosseum get its name?
Is it A, because of a statue?
B, because of a fish?
or C because if you like gladiators it's where you'd go to see him.
The answer is a. A statue.
Yes the Colossus was a 98 -foot bronze statue of the former Emperor Nero a vain man who loved celebrating himself but my father Vespasian got him back good.
How? He tore down the enormous palace Nero built for himself, drained Nero's man -made lake, and built the Colosseum right smack on top of it.
His most genius move was turning all the canals used to drain the lake into sewer pipes, which haul away all the waste made by the 80 ,000 fans in the Colosseum's bathrooms.
That's a lot of smarting.
The Colossus statue remained standing outside, so the amphitheater became known as the Colosseum.
I notice you have great seats.
As Emperor, I have my own special box with the best view in the house.
Boo! Surrounding me all the Roman senators and above us, the regular Roman citizens.
The richer you are, the lower your seat.
The poorest people sit waaaay up in the nosebleeds...
...along with the women and slaves.
Yeah. Ancient Rome wasn't the most progressive place.
Quiet! Two gladiators are about to fight to the death for my amusement!
See what I mean? Speaking of seeing, while you have a great view of the arena floor, everyone else here has a great view of...
...you! That's by design, Future Man.
You see, after a gladiatorial battle, I'll ask the audience if they thought the losing gladiator fought bravely enough to warrant living to fight another day.
If it's a no, I give thumbs up, and that gladiator is, but if it's a yes, I'll give of a thumbs down, which tells the fighters to lay down their swords.
Ah, so thumbs down is actually good news for the gladiators.
Most movies have that backwards.
Movies? It's a future thing.
Hm, you must tell me more about Rome in the future.
I'm sure the Roman Empire is still going strong.
Um, well back to the coliseum.
This place is huge.
How did you build it?
It wasn't easy. You know the saying?
Rome wasn't built in a day.
Well, neither was the Colosseum.
Guess how long it took?
Smarty Pants, was it eight years, 18 years, or 28 years?
We built it in just eight years.
Ahhhh... Of course our Roman engineers had the help of 100 ,000 slaves and a secret weapon.
Smarty Pants, what was the secret weapon that helped them build the Colosseum so fast?
Was it, A, elephants.
B, giant cranes. Or C, an IKEA instruction manual.
If you said B, cranes, you're right.
My engineers designed a giant crane out of massive tree trunks connected to what looks like a large hamster wheel.
Ooh. Ooh. When a bunch of workers walk inside the wheel, the crane's ropes can lift enormous rates.
Heave! Like all the 50 -ton stones that make up the walls of the Coliseum.
Cool. Speaking of cool, how do you like our Valarium?
Your what? Valarium, the awning you see around the top of the Coliseum that shades us from the blazing Roman sun.
It also keeps out the rain on stormy days.
Believe it or not, it's totally retractable.
Oh, so the Colosseum is basically the world's first domed stadium?
Whatever that means.
What I can say is, because our awning is sloped downward, it catches the wind and gives spectators a nice breeze.
We use 100 specially -trained sailors from our imperial navy to operate it.
It don't matter how pretty the stadium is, if you can't put on a great show.
Yikes. Who are you?
I am Smarticus, top ranked gladiator in the world.
Ah, Smarticus has provided me and Rome much entertainment over the years.
Like most gladiators, who've lasted as long as he has, he's become somewhat of a celebrity.
Of course, most gladiators don't last very long.
Some don't even make it out of gladiator school.
Wait, there are schools teach...um...gladiating?
Yep, the largest one is just outside the Colosseum and is connected by an underground tunnel.
Not just anyone can become a gladiator, you know.
It takes years of training.
It also helps to be good looking.
People love paying to see a handsome gladiator.
Wow, they really are like movie stars.
Smarty Pants, who was most likely to become a gladiator?
Was it A, the sons of Roman Senators?
Titles? B. Prisoners of war and condemned criminals.
Or C. Highly -decorated army soldiers?
The answer is B. Not many people go into the gladiator business voluntarily.
It's a rough life spent training, fighting and locked up in a dungeon cell.
Like I said, not progressive.
Hey. At least we have toilets.
What most people don't realize is there's different kinds of gladiators.
You've got your die, McCary, who fight with two swords.
Your hesidary, who fight from chariots, which are wheeled carts pulled by horses.
And your ready, our eye, who fight with nets and a trident.
A trident is a spear with three prongs, like what King Triton holds in The Little Mermaid.
["ms -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -s -ss -s -ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS They're the bravest of them all.
Their particular skill is...
Coming up right after this quick break.
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Now back to Who's Smarted.
We're learning about gladiators and particularly the best story who fight against wild animals.
We hold as many wild animal hunts in the Colosseum as we do gladiator battles.
Your typical roman has never seen a wild animal.
So lions, tigers, bears, elephants, ostriches, and rhinos really pack them in.
Whoa. Where'd all those lions come from?
They weren't here a second ago.
Nope. They were in the hypogeum.
Beneath the arena floor is a basement filled with cages.
It's like a zoo down there, literally.
Hey, Smartypants, how do you think the animals get from the hypogeum to the arena?
Do they use the stairs?
A ramp? Or, an elevator?
Well obviously they don't use an elevator.
Wait. They do? We've got about 30 elevators under there, each big enough to hold two lions!
A bunch of really strong men push a wheel called a capstan!
That's connected to ropes and pulleys.
This lifts the elevator up to a trapdoor, Allowing the animals to appear in the arena like magic!
Trust me. The crowd loves it.
Oh, it's time for the main event!
You're on, Smotarchus!
You're on! I shall return.
Um, Emperor, the colosseum is flooding.
Should we run? Relax, narrator!
I'm guessing this is your first narmachia.
Um, it's my first everything.
What is a narmachia?
Anomachia is a recreation of a famous naval battle.
And by recreation, I mean down to the last detail.
Today's battle involves 50 ships and 10 ,000 combatants, just like the real deal.
Ooh! How are you able to flood the Colosseum so fast?
You've no doubt heard of the famous Roman aqueducts, right?
They're stone bridges that carry thousands of gallons of water into Rome from mountain lakes miles away.
Well, we built a connection to one of those aqueducts, and voila, instant ocean.
Dear narrator, you are witnessing the future of entertainment.
Um, I hate to be a spoiled sport emperor, but this all comes to a screeching halt around 435 CE.
Aaagh! Smartypants, why do you think the Romans stopped holding spectacles like this in the Colosseum.
Some believe it's because the Roman emperor adopted Christianity and decided all of this violence was wrong.
But really, it came down to… money.
It turns out that training gladiators, rounding up exotic animals and maintaining a crumbling architectural marvel really adds up.
I'm afraid to look at my water bill after this naval battle.
I won! Haha! Were you not entertained?
Actually, it's a little brutal for my tastes.
I think I'll stick to baseball in the future.
A big ol' shout -out to my smarty friend Kingston in North Potomac, Maryland.
excellent, thanks for writing in to let me know how much you love learning about cool things every day.
Now that's what we call being a world class smarty pants, thanks for listening.
This episode, The Roman Coliseum, was written by Steve Maximus Melcher, and voiced by Adam Dungeon Davis, Chris Collossus Okawa, Max Chariot Kamaski, Kim Dadgar Davis, and Jerry Colbert.
Technical direction and sound designed by Josh Helmut Haan.
Who Smarted is recorded and mixed at the Relic Room Studios?
Our associate producer is Max Komaski.
The theme song is by Brian Sandell Suarez, with lyrics written and performed by Adam Tex Davis.
Who Smarted was created and produced by Adam Tex Davis and Jerry Colbert.
This has been an atomic entertainment production.
