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What is the three loves theory?
Thanks for asking. What if you could only fall in love three times in your life?
Well that's the idea behind the three loves theory that breaks our romantic lives down into three key relationships.
The idealized love, the intense love and the calm enduring love.
What does that actually mean?
In essence, each of these relationships teaches us something about ourselves and what we expect from love.
They help shape who we are and how we relate to others.
According to personal development coach Roxy Nafusi, quoted by Vogue India, the first love usually seems like a fairy tale that we think will last forever.
While it certainly feels like true love in the moment, it's not usually the deep, raw love you'll experience later on.
It often happens to us during our teenage years, and the takeaway here is that amid all the dreams and idealism, lasting relationships can't be built on fantasy alone.
The second love is the so -called roller coaster love, often marked by a turbulent and painful breakup.
Nafusi explains that the relationship becomes a mirror of our soul.
We become aware of all our insecurities, needs and desires.
In this relationship we may feel jealousy, fear and self -doubt that we've never felt before.
The relationship is accompanied by dramatic ups and downs.
We often try to make the other person our ideal partner and shape ourselves to become theirs.
You could say it's the relationship that opens our eyes and helps us recognise what truly works for us and what doesn't.
Is the third love the real deal then?
Well, according to the three loves theory, yes, the third love is said to be the unconditional one and it's usually the final love of our lives.
It's a relationship in which we feel entirely ourselves, where we accept our partner's imperfections and manage to work through life's challenges together.
But there's a catch. The theory suggests that in order to reach this stage We have to first go through the intensity and often the heartbreak of the second love That's one of the limitations of the theory It doesn't account for the many different forms that love can take or the fact that feelings can evolve within a single relationship After all, there's no reason why a first love can't become a passionate love, which might then turn into a true and lasting love.
It all depends on our life journey, our age and what we're looking for.
There's no rule book or quota that has to be adhered to.
One of the risks of this kind of theory is that people may try to force themselves to follow its pattern, thinking that's how things are supposed to go.
They might pass up someone steady and kind for instance simply because they believe they're due a more dramatic fiery romance.
It's important to remember that there's no set number of people you have to go through before finding the right one.
There you have it. Now you know what the three loves theory is.
In under three minutes we answer your questions and help you understand the true meaning behind the trends, concepts and acronyms that are making headlines.
Listen along and you will really know for sure.
