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What is future faking?
Thanks for asking.
I can't wait for us to get married.
Let's travel the world together.
We're going to have two kids and buy that fancy apartment across the street.
When you're in a romantic relationship, it can be genuinely heartwarming to hear your partner paint a vibrant picture of days ahead.
But what about if it happens much earlier than you expected, say on your second or third date?
Usually at that stage you're still figuring each other out, so beware.
It could be a sign of what's known as future faking.
What's wrong with making plans for Nothing, but as I said the issue is more to do with timing.
Of course there's no one single pace for all relationships to abide by, but generally speaking, couples don't make life plans or even say I love you within the first couple of weeks of dating, So it's only really a red flag when talk of those kinds of plans pop up too early.
That's because, in some cases, you could be dealing with a narcissist who's using false promises to win you over in the moment, creating an illusion of intimacy when, in reality, they're not thinking about the future at all.
Hence the name, future faking.
It can be hard to spot too because future fakers are often skilled manipulators.
They spot their partner's vulnerabilities and personal preferences and use them to create tailored promises that reflect what the partner really desires.
When they're successful, the partner believes that the faker is far more invested in the relationship than they actually are.
And as time passes, those grand plans always stay just out of reach.
Having initially gotten their hopes up, the partner then hears things like oh, it's not the right time to get married yet, or let's wait until we have more money saved up before we buy a house.
Indeed, the two often go hand in hand.
As pointed out by verywellmind.com, future faking is basically love bombing on a grander scale.
It's hard not to be charmed by someone who seems to think you're fantastic, showering you with compliments at every opportunity.
Bear in mind, future faking can happen in a work or family environment too.
Think of your boss never giving you that pay rise or promotion that they promised you, for example.
The adage, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is, often rings true with future faking.
Wikihow.com suggests asking your partner for details when they start making those big promises.
Another tactic is to space out dates so that your partner has more time to follow through on their promises.
That may lead to their true character unfolding.
If time keeps passing and those plans simply aren't materialising, ask for an update on progress and why things are stalling.
Try to avoid calling your partner a liar or accusing them of future faking directly, as that will likely only escalate things out of control.
Stick to the facts of the situation instead, and bear in mind there may be a legitimate reason for their behaviour too.
To deal with the situation effectively, you need to figure out whether your partner genuinely wants a serious relationship.
And to do so you have to trust your intuition, listen to your emotions as well as physical sensations coming from your body to make your judgement.
There you have it.
Now you know what future faking is.
In under three minutes, we answer your questions and help you understand the true meaning behind the trends, concepts and acronyms that are making headlines.
Listen along and you will really know for sure.
