Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Cross Podcast. I'm Crystal. I'm G-Soo. And I'm Avi.
Welcome back, Avi. A very familiar voice. He's been on the pod since the beginning of time.
The last episode he was in was episode 144, R-Wee Runners. This week we've brought him on to chat about
our wedding experiences as plus ones. But before we dive into that, I have a quick question.
It's not a Gen Z word of the week, but there's this thing called the Gritty.
Do you guys know what that is? Yes, yes. Okay, well, I don't. So I need you to explain it to me.
Oh. Wait, I also, like, barely noticed. I just feel like I know it because in football,
players will like celebrate when they score touchdown by like hitting the Gritty. So I imagine
it's some type of dance somewhere. All right. I figured you might know because I feel like when I
first heard it, it was from football. Oh, interesting. I never knew it in football context.
Yeah, I don't know the origins either, but I know the dance, like the circles around your eyes,
and then you put your arms behind your back, and then you like shuffle your knees and stuff. But
the TikTok context is like, people will hit the Gritty, and then the person recording will be like,
oh my god, he's wittily hitting the gritty right now, like in a baby.
And it makes me laugh every single time. What in the world?
I absolutely would not have guessed that's what you were going to say.
That's so specific. My guess would be that that is like a copy of maybe a video of a little kid
saying that. Like to someone hitting the Gritty. What is the source material?
I did see it. Like people will do it in funny context. So like, I saw someone where she was on skis
on like the slopes, and then the person, she was doing the Gritty like on her skis. And then the
person recording said that. I've also seen it like in a golfing context, like someone's like hitting,
you know, they like put and then he hits the Gritty and then the person says,
wittily hitting the gritty right now on the putting green. Oh my god. Okay, okay. So I just
looked it up and I'm on KnowYourBeam.com. Oh, what's that?
It's out of the world. So it's witterily hitting the Gritty or witter woolly grittying. It's a
baby talk catchphrase associated with a trend on TikTok in which one person hits the Gritty
often in an inappropriate location while the off-camera person says he's witterly hitting the
Gritty. It's like J.C. said. Okay, it's not that, Krystal and I both did the baby voice. We need
obvious to do it too to complete the trifecta. I was like, he really hit the Gritty.
I feel like baby voice doesn't work for me, but what's so deep?
So that was good enough. It's a boss baby. It's stewey. Oh my god. Yeah. Oh my god. Okay, so this says
the first video using the phrase was uploaded in April 2022 and it was popularized by
viral video posted on TikTok early February 2023 in which a skier hits the Gritty while wearing
skis. Oh my god. Wait, that ski one that you mentioned. That's like the first viral video.
February 2023. I feel like I've been seeing a football all season and February 2023 is the last
game of the season. You're right. You're right. Oh, maybe the baby talk one. Oh yeah. It seems like
baby talk one became viral in February 2023. All right. So baby talk with a different
from football, Gritty. Yeah. Oh, okay. Here it says on April 14, 2022. This is the origin
because it seems like that skiing video was just like a popped off. It became viral. So the origin
here is April 14, 2022. TikToker at Who's Diced posted a low res video of Fortnite showing a
character doing the Gritty while the player says, Oh my god, he's literally hitting the guitti right
now. And that one got like 1.8 million views. Yeah. So it looks like this dude accidentally said
guitti and then people have just like evolved it. I think Abbey you're right about it coming from
football though because I'm also looking at a different Know Your Me article or it says someone
named Alan Gritty Davis created the dance. He was like, I want to dance named after me. And he
was a football player in Galhouiziana high school. So then I think that's when the dance originated
and then Fortnite added it as an emote and then it evolved into this meme. So there's like a whole
last time. Wait, this is so deep. I feel like we just uncovered treasure. Look at a history lesson.
Holy shit, I'm so glad I asked you all about the gritty. Wait, that's so funny. I love that.
I'll have to do some research and like watch someone do the actual dance but now I understand.
Now I know what the gritty is. That's crystal tomorrow hitting the guitti.
Widdly hitting the guitti. Anyway, let's get to the top of get hand which is being a plus one
guest to a wedding. So I know within the last year you actually went to a wedding which was your
girlfriend's sister's wedding and you were your girlfriend's plus one. Yes. So I guess my first
question for you is did you feel like you had any particular maybe like duties as a plus one?
I don't think I felt like I had any duties like specific to the wedding as a plus one just like
obviously feel like a respectful guest. But this was also like my first time meeting her family.
So I felt like I had duties for that rather than like the wedding itself. So I was just like trying
to like meet her like extended family and like it was also my first time meeting her parents. Yeah,
not like wedding specific duties. That was just like show up, have a good time I guess. But then also like
make a good impression on her family. Right. Did you spend a lot of time with her family like most
of the time with her family? Yeah. Like the ceremony itself I sat with some of the bride's like
friends. So it was like a couple rows like behind the family of the bride and then like during the
reception I was sitting at a table with my girlfriend's like cousins and then like some of her
other family. So like that's when I talked to a lot of her family. Yeah. So I think I was like
pretty mixed in terms of like the amount of time I spent with her family and then the amount of
time I spent with just like other guests at the wedding. There was like a period of time where she
was like bring me around like, Hey, like this is this office is this on goal. So that was like me
kind of like making the rounds and meeting her family. What was that whole experience like because
I feel like meeting your SO's family for the first time is intimidating even when it's just the
parents. But to meet a whole family like especially you know for a wedding I imagine a lot of people
who can make it will come. What was that whole experience like for you? Were you nervous at all?
Oh yeah. I was definitely like pretty nervous like meter parents and family. Also like a lot of her
like parents and family like don't speak English as well and like grandparents like don't speak
English as well. And they just speak like Cantonese which I don't know at all. So like there's just
that language barrier which like for me like I felt like at a pressure because like I can't just
like make like whatever jokes or anything like that. So like I can't really speak to them. I had met
like her sister and like the groom before so like that was kind of easier and also like one of
the cousins I was here because they had like one of her cousins that comes to New York. So I met her
then. So I kind of had like one foot in but like definitely the parents generation I'm like not
met any of them. So that was definitely stressful. I also like was super stressed at this ceremony
because I almost miss the wedding. Oh my god. Yeah it was like kind of a wild story. So the wedding
was in the bay near like SFO. The hotel for the wedding was writing SFO and then the wedding itself
and like the reception was at this like golf course nearby. And so I like drove to the hotel left
my car there and I was like I'll just Uber to the wedding because I don't want to have to like drive
back drunk or something after the reception. Yeah. So my Uber is like going to this golf course and then
there's like all these signs when you pull out the highway for like the golf course and like signs
like about like the course like about like the clubhouse and like the wedding reception area and all
that stuff. One of the signs was like this big right turn sign and then like below that it said
wedding something about like ceremony site. So I was like oh like we must obviously turn right
and go that way like follow the sign. Uber driver was like yep sounds good and so we go down
that way like a mile and we like get to the clubhouse and like I don't see anyone outside so I just
like get out of the Uber he like dips and I'm like looking around I see like one time for the wedding
no one was there and I was like what's going on. I see like this lady who I think was the
wedding planner and she was like over here for the wedding. I was like yes I am and she's like oh
it's like back like a mile that way where you like took the turn it was like right behind it. It
was like that grass like right behind it that's the ceremony site. I was like oh the sign was saying
to turn right and like come this way so that's what I did and she's like oh yeah no it's back
over there and this is like 10 minutes before the ceremony or like 15 minutes before the ceremony
is supposed to start like my Uber had left I was like like what do I do now like I was like should
I just start like running that way like panic I was like also like heavily trying to like the
wedding planner I was like oh like you're obviously going to the wedding and like you are standing
right by your car like wouldn't it be awesome if we like carpooled there together I was like
heavily trying to imply that and she was just like see yeah have fun and I was like what is going on
wait she literally just left you she didn't leave but like she just like did not acknowledge me
that all essentially and so I was just like holy fuck I guess I should just start running like I
don't think I can make it back in time because it's like way out of the way and it's like
off the highway too and then like literally right as I was about to go the door for the clubhouse
opens and like the entire like bridal party comes out like Katie like my girlfriend she like comes out
she's like oh I'll be like what are you doing here and I was like oh hey like yeah I thought the
wedding was here and I was just like so frazzled and like the shuttle to take them all to the
ceremony say came around and so they were just like okay just like come on this with us oh my god
thank God like that worked out yeah like everyone's like what the fuck are you doing like what is
going on I was like I literally thought this is what their ceremony was and like there's all
the shows go on so I was like oh what like and then I get on to the shuttle and I meet you like
turn and like her parents are sitting right there and I'm like oh hi like nice to meet you like
so it's like literally my first time meeting them is like be like about to miss like their daughter's
wedding and I'm like what is going on right now I remember like I also go to the back I just go
to the back of the shuttle and like I just said what someone's been one of them that like I thought
was the groom but it turns out as a groom's brother because I was just like so nervous and like kind
of like I was like oh like congrats and he was like thanks for what and I was like oh wait like
are you sure of you right now and then I was like oh shit like I have about like you were like
Thomas did not like no like and I was like yeah I was like following a part here and luckily we
like I get on the shuttle and I make it to the ceremony and then it was fine I get off and like
one of like Katie's cousins like how's me fine to see another crazy part like maybe like a couple
minutes before the ceremony started it's like everyone had taken their seats like bridal party like
hadn't walked in yet but they were still further back getting ready I guess like last minute stuff
so it was me at the edge of the road this other guy and then another guy next to him and these
were like the brides friends and the guy that was one seat over so not like directly to my right
he like spits up some like clear liquid on the eye and I was just like oh like maybe you just
like drank water too quickly and like choked on a little bit and then I like breathed it and I was
like oh no no that's vodka or something like this like turns out this guy like pregame the wedding
and was like I guess like pregame too hard and he just like could not handle it so he literally
like casually like bombing his hands like at the ceremony like right before it started and I was
just like well I just got right now like I'm on this blast so it's like that worked out in my
favorite book. It just like smelled like vodka everyone's like oh yeah so like him and like the guy
next to me like they both like ran out to like get his shit together and so I was just like sitting
it was like me and like two empty seats I was like I think like the only in you guy there
at this wedding there was like this gap next to me I was like what is happening right now like
how is all this stuff just like happening to me at like this game like holy crap. I'm just a plus
one at so that was another funny moment the guy who he's a very cool guy like I'd start talking
to Matthew it's like great guy so that was funny. Wow dude what an adventure. Oh yeah that was
like a crazy story. And you were just a plus one. I was like how's this happening to me.
That's so funny. I'm glad the brides made shuttle came by and oh my god that was like an act of
god that worked out so I would like literally would be like if I like miss this anyway this would be
such a terrible look like. Yeah the fucking wedding planner is just like peace out good luck. Yeah
it's like you really could have saved me here and you offered me nothing and I will hate you
ever for this. Wait did you tell her who you were though where you like oh my god I'm like the
maid of honors plus one. I did not I was just oh no I don't think I did. I feel like if you said
that she would have been like you'll get the fuck in this car. We're going to the wedding. Yeah oh
I think she actually ended up coming in the shuttle too so like I guess maybe that's why she like
didn't offer anything. Okay maybe yeah she was like no drunk driving for me. Yeah oh my god another
like kind of weird thing I guess so it turns out like everyone just like drove their own cars to
the wedding because after this time the shuttle was taking people from the ceremony back to the
clubhouse for the reception I get on the shuttle because I didn't drive to the ceremony. I get on
I'm the only person there it's just me and the driver we're literally just like waiting for like
15 20 minutes see if anyone else is coming it's literally just me on the shuttle so like after
20 minutes the wedding planner comes by and she's like oh like I think it's just you like and she
tells the driver like okay you can go to the the reception spot now and I was like huh did I do
something like like why is no one else like the shuttle what is happening she's like why do I keep
seeing this guy? She's like this is fucking guy that like doesn't know anyone here but is
asked is he supposed to be here? Oh my god okay honestly it's better that you took the shuttle though
because I'm sure they put money down for that and if no one took it like that'd be kind of sad
true but at least they had one passenger yeah but reception always it was great great time okay
that's so funny all right well I've learned a lesson from your story I think this is a plus one
duty and a guest duty overall don't pregame the wedding too hard yes true so I have a question for
you if your girlfriend was the maid of honor then I'm sure she was kind of tied up in a lot of
the ceremony part and maybe also part of the reception fulfilling her maid of honor duties so if
you're alone without her for most of the wedding how did you kind of socialize with other guests there?
I just started to pop it up with people that I saw I was like hey I was going
I'm Katie's boyfriend who are you? Is that the first question like oh who do you like who are
you here? Yeah like I feel like I have heard if you are just like don't know too many people at
a wedding the easiest question is like how do you know the groomer bride are you bride or groom
side and then like that would just get people talking so then like all of like the bride's friends
like I just like started talking to some of them especially like for like the first part of
the reception before the bridal party had got there because like they were like I don't know
doing whatever you do in between the ceremony and the receptions like I was by myself so yeah I
just started talking to them and like get to know some people there we were just like the easiest
way is just like go to the bar and be like hey anyone want to do like shots or something or like get
a joke and yeah it's a little aggressive it is and you can try to join in on these shots
yeah but it works it's a try and test and met that I'm like that's you get to know people like
I feel like once you like break into like one group it's just easier to like bounce around and like
talk to everyone I feel like you have to be able to like be okay with being by yourself but also
like do like cold opens to like just meet people that like you don't know because like a lot of
other people were like in their own groups like in their circles from like knowing the bride or
group from various places so just like hey like you guys modify join in the conversation
it's like slightly awkward at first but I feel like we just get you to it and also like you got like
a slight buzz or just like drunk or something then like it for sure it's the edge off for sure
speaking I was also a plus one for the best man of a wedding I'm not as extroverted as obby so I just like
got a bunch of drinks I'm pretty sure at no point in the wedding was my hand not holding a drink
yeah I think I may have been in a similar position but I also feel like that wasn't because I was
like a plus one that's just what I do at weddings I guess you're in clinicians yeah you got a
drink to help with the socialization especially if you're like a plus one who doesn't really know
anyone else I just feel like I feel more comfortable with like a drink girl or something my
whether it's alcohol or even like water or so or whatever true I just like need something to hold to like
have my hands not be like awkwardly dangling very true very true and I did manage to like
socialize and chat with some people when you're waiting in line for the bar usually you can turn
around and you're like oh so like how do you know the bride or group yeah I think I understand the
theory so I've set on this podcast many times I've been to like one wedding so far and that was just
like two weeks ago so I'm very new to this whole wedding thing but when you go up and like cold
open and talk to people I feel like there's probably some level of stressing out that you do before
to see like who looks approachable or maybe who might match the vibes that you're trying to go for
and things like that so what are signs or like things you pick up on even if it's really small things
in terms of deciding who looks approachable and friendly at a wedding you like that question
like makes it sound like I'm like doing calculus in my head I'll give I'll narrow it down a little
bit like would you rather go and talk to someone who is also standing kind of awkwardly alone by
themselves who maybe also looks like a lonely plus one or would you go in and like cut into like
a group of friends who are already talking to each other I think I did both I think one thing I
like tried to avoid doing was standing in the corner or like just like off to the side like
by myself because I feel like that to me would like cycle like psych me out because I would be like
oh I'm that like awkward guy in the corner of that like doesn't know anyone so like I feel like I
would just try and like be more in like a central area or like closer to the bar whatever we're like
a lot of people are whether it's like a smaller group or like a bigger group if like I feel like if I
just hear like people like laughing or like making jokes then like I'll see if I can like finnagle my
way in there and like contribute but yeah like if someone's having like a serious conversation
or something I'm not gonna but it'd be like oh yeah like I totally understand where you're coming from
like well I don't know if I assist people out if anything other people might have
assessed me out like that person looks kind of lonely like maybe we should help them out like
for one of the weddings I latched on to like a cousin from one of the married parties I guess
I think she was also not super close with anyone because a lot of the guests were like friends
of the bride and groom and she was like family and she was around our age so I like just if I ever
saw her around I would be like hey what's up and then we would like chat and I think it also worked
out because we sat near each other for the dinner as well so yeah that was gonna be my other question
like I feel like if I knew maybe like one or two people at the wedding I was going to that I was
a plus one for I would probably try to talk to them a lot and maybe they could help me kind of
integrate into this social situation a little bit I feel like I'm someone who feels awkwardness
very intensely if there's any potential or spark for awkwardness I'm like gonna focus on it
so you know having someone who you know who might know other people is kind of a good way to get
in on crowds and stuff yeah but what if the person you know also doesn't know anyone else
then he'll just be alone together yeah then you two party in the corner yeah you owe it out or true
it up yeah you fun too yeah like having that like one or two people that you know like whether even
if like you're not super close to them like it's just like a nice reliable like safety net essentially
so earlier you guys both mentioned how drinking can be one a form of like making your hands not
look awkward but to like social lubricant in a sense that helps you enjoy the wedding and loosen
up a little bit so as a plus one especially a plus one to someone who is in the marriage party or
whatever it's called like the wedding party how lit are you allowed to get probably not like
like ten out of ten blasts yeah probably don't want a blackout maybe I might peak of like
the reception was maybe like a seven out of ten seven seven half I don't know like I didn't give
like super fucked up but like I certainly couldn't drive um match words are like during I don't
know what level of drunk that is an acceptable level yeah I think I'm similar as I mentioned I just
was like drinking throughout the whole wedding but I definitely didn't let it get to the point
where it's like you know you become sloppy or like blacked out or something like that like still
aware of your surroundings capable of having conversation things like that so yeah definitely
can't be sloppy do you think there's a difference between how lit you're allowed to get as someone
who's either part of the wedding party or just a normal plus one not to someone in the wedding party
a family member or a plus one to a family member etc like is there like different levels that you
want to be at or do you think all of those categories there's like a hard stop and like a ideal
range that's similar for all of those honestly I think if you're not super close with anyone at
the wedding but you're not a plus one then it's actually safer to get like fucked up but you like
you don't want to get fucked up like during the wedding like you want to be fucked up where you
get back to your hotel and you like throw up there because you don't draw any attention to yourself
pretty much but if you're like close to the wedding party or like family or anything like that
everyone will know if you're fucked up you know true like it'll be a scene I think if you are a
close friend and you get like super fucked up then like everyone would be like oh like who's
that person can super fucked up I think that one is less acceptable than like being kind of like
outer circle friend where I think it's more just like hey like let's get the party starter or something
if you're like super fucked up I do think if you are a family member that's like close or like
kind of close then like you can totally get like super fucked up and like maybe no
interesting family will get like mad at you afterwards but like what are they gonna do you
fuck your family at least like I feel like but yeah I feel like I've been to a family wedding
where like one of the close friends like I think one of the groups been just like on like an
absolute bender like probably this guy was lights on no one's home when you
you get his eyes so and then like literally me and like all my cousins and everyone was like
what is up with this guy like you fucking like so beyond lit that like no one has owned anymore
so like I guess like you'll have people talking about you if you're if you're like that
I think the most important thing is like you don't want to ruin the wedding
yeah it's like even if you're getting fucked up like make sure you're not a like
destructive drunk or something yeah exactly you just have to be a liability exactly yeah
these are so interesting for me because the one wedding that I went to like two weeks ago
I went with my parents and I had heard all these things about like oh my god my
weddings are so fun they're so lit and this wedding was super nice but it's just like I'm with
my parents right so I was like I don't think I can drink that much and even if I were to get
super lit I don't know anyone here because it was like a long term family friend but we weren't
in the same circles or anything like that so I just had a couple glasses of champagne and then
by the time dinner was over and like we watched a little bit of the dance party go down my parents
were like showy dip and I was like yeah and then we were on the way home and I was like
this doesn't seem like what weddings are based on what like obvious describe or like all of my
friends have described in the past I was like I feel like I just went to like church or something
and oh again it was a beautiful wedding and I think the friends people who were close to like
the bride and groom had a ton of fun but just being with my parents like I can only do so much you
know dude let me tell you your first mistake you only had like couple glasses of champagne yeah
that's a disservice to the the bride and groom for not taking what they have set up yeah they paid
for the open bar dude you gotta you gotta drink it I feel like your parents would definitely throw
it out they're cool as hell yeah I'm actually very true yeah I mean okay I've gone to the point
now where my parents know I drink a lot like so honestly I think now at this point if we were to
go to a wedding together as a family they would just be like oh yeah crystals off drinking again like
it's fine you know yeah I feel like I would have maybe like a couple drinks with like my mom
maybe not my dad maybe like it's fine like I'll like get them drinks and like if they want anything
I don't think I'm like nervous about like you're thinking in front of them anymore like I'm just like
yeah fuck it like let's let's get lit but yeah I'm never like too sloppy around them right right
fuck dude honestly I got really hungover one time and my mom was like visiting me in New York and
she was like oh my god like are you sick like you keep throwing up and I was like oh my god
wait that day that was actually such a wild decision by you to like have that event while your
mom was visiting okay to be fair my mom visiting happened after the event was already planned and
everything she's like by the way I'm gonna come this weekend and I was like wait but I'm about to
fucking party this weekend after that though there's a shift now like she's seen me at my worst you know
it's it's all good like that's true nothing worse than that once the rock bottom is revealed
yeah everything is limitless she was like are you okay and I was like don't worry by 5 p.m
I will be okay and then 5 p.m rolls around and I'm like fine and she was like whoa like you were
right I was like and I was like yes this isn't the first time this has happened yeah I don't think
by parents I've ever seen me in the state that crystal was in that day she was now rock bottom
was a good way to put it but you know it's all good now true so my mom has definitely seen me
pretty inebriated I don't think my dad has ever witnessed it which is probably for his own good
but here's my fear like you know in the future my family friends are gonna get married but so
our james is family friends and I was like damn I need to like really plan out like my alcohol
intake for james's family friend weddings because it's one thing for your parents to see you pretty
drunk but I never want james's parents to see me pretty drunk so you know it's another one of
those things where I would probably just have a couple glasses of champagne or if I were to get
start to feel pretty drunk maybe like hide away in a corner or like away from that or something
yeah yeah but jesus just never make the same mistake again like you have to drink you owe it to
the bride yeah that's part of your gift yeah like I don't want to ever hear another story of you
being like my parents were there so I didn't really drink I'm so scared right now I'm getting
a referendum yeah but I do think like if you don't feel like you can come to be like handle
yourself like drinking however much at a wedding around like certain people then like obviously
you shouldn't drink that much that's true I feel like it's just whatever you're comfortable you
still enjoy yourself dude also one of the reasons why I didn't drink that much at this wedding
was I was wearing these heels and I was like oh their wedges and they're like platform so it's
not like a huge heel like because there's a platform it's not that high but it's still high right
and the wedding was on this place I was like kind of sloped up and when we walked up to the
reception area I was like this is gonna be a problem when we walked down and I'm like if I'm drunk
I will I will definitely eat shit so that's also one of the reasons why and I kind of feel like
as like a male plus one if you're male plus one to a woman then that's probably one of your
plus one duties too right like making sure that she doesn't fall in her heels I mean other women
I'm sure better at walking heels than me but still like that's kind of a big one it's a good one
yeah I mean I feel like I also was like I don't know if this is like that specific I'm like
making sure Kate is like fall over or something but I was like kind of keeping on her if she's
like getting like super drunk or something and she's like if she needs anything but I feel like
the pro tip there is bring a pair of flats for post pictures and stuff oh true it's a good one
put them in your men's pants pockets no just put them in your dress your wedding reception dress
pockets interesting no I'm just like I'm just like imagining me and James walking down and then
people behind us like why are there two feet in James's butt pockets just my flat input
but that is a good one if you can find a place to hold flats just bring them to the reception
because usually there's like a dance floor too or people like to go have fun so
do you prefer faux or like flats or whatever like I guarantee there there's no what you'll be the only
person like your natural pair of like computer shoes I think also what you said obi makes me think
of another maybe mini pro tip is like I think if you're going as a couple then one person in the
couple needs to be like less drunk than the other person like you can't both be at the same level of
drunk I think someone has to make sure that you both get home okay so you know maybe like take turns
at different weddings kind of swapping out who gets more lit at the wedding I mean that like to think
that I'm generally like still pretty responsible while drunk unless like absolutely black out which
I probably wouldn't do at a wedding I think so then like I don't mind just like keeping an eye on
like things and making sure everyone's fine like even if it's like not even like Katie if it's just like
some random person they look like they're fucking lights on no one's home and I don't just like
them for whatever reason then I'll be like hey do you water or like some help or something
right yeah that's true like we're not we're not trying to get blasted at weddings we're trying to
just have a good time yeah because also I'm not trying to be like super hungry the next day you know
or I'm like also I'm trying to like make it to like the end of the reception or like after party
there is one and all that stuff so you gotta it's a it's a marathon not a race good point I have a
question for you all which I feel like is pretty relevant in general like not even just as a plus
one what do you think of like gifting etiquette how are you usually measuring out or deciding what to
gift the bride and groom I'm a terrible gift giver so one thing is there's a registry like that's
like an easy way to do that I think for this wedding like I just get cash a hundred and
a hundred fifty bucks from like that I think for like other weddings like for like my like friends
wedding that I went to like part of his registry was just hey like contribute to our house fund so
I just gave like a hundred and fifty bucks for that that I thought that was like an easy one I do
feel like objective like cash is like most useful gift and also it's like easier for me because I'm
a backgift giver now I completely agree I usually also default to contributing to whichever fund
that they have up in their registry whether it's like honey moon fund house fund stuff like that
but I feel like one of the big questions here is like what is the price range like what are the tears
of of gift giving so what I've done in the past as a plus one I think I usually hover around like
hundred to hundred fifty I've only really been to weddings as a plus one as an adult so that's all I
know just the bottom tier I don't think I have like a good system or like how much I should give
depending on like what my relation is I think generally like I've just hovered between like
hundred to like 200 just like depending on what it is but yeah no I'm certainly not you not
someone that you should take give giving advice one so you know one of the things that I've noticed
and I've also asked a ton of people about like what is the appropriate price range to give at weddings
and things like that and looked up a bunch of articles and someone told me something that was
really interesting and I don't know how common this belief is but someone said that you want to do
whole numbers or like numbers rounded to the hundred because if you give for example like 150
it's like between 100 and 200 so sometimes it may feel like oh I thought about 100 and I thought
about 200 and the number I settled on was 150 which I had never thought about it like that before
and I also have very minimal wedding experience and I was like that is so interesting and I never
would have thought about that until someone told me about it and another thing that I noticed
because James and I are having our wedding this year is a lot of couples who are invited to our
wedding gift to us as a couple which makes sense because it's like we know them but like you know
they're invited as like a unit sort of so then I was like oh that's actually like super convenient
because then me and James can pitch in for someone's wedding together rather than like two separate
names and it's like I don't know feels a little bit less weird or like feels like there's less
responsibility on like each individual person sort of I feel like that's always been like my take to
like whatever you get invited as like that's like the gift that's given like obviously I get
invited to like a wedding with my family and there's like four of us or however many like then
maybe we'll give like a bigger gift or something honestly I don't really know if I'd be like my
parents just do that deal with that then for example for like your wedding me being invited
and then having a plus one then like that would be to get my invitation to cover like both
everyone in my party essentially right oh interesting so I've been to two weddings as a plus one
and both times I sent my own gift to oh wow yeah so I here's how I kind of think of it I would still
want to like give a gift as a thank you like oh thank you for allowing me to be a plus one even
I think also though it's a little hard because when I've been a plus one the person who invited me
was like literally family with the people who are getting married so like the level of closeness
is very different so I'm just like okay I'll just like you know send them 100 books on my own
versus like their gift as a family member might be a lot different yeah so I guess I was in like
a similar vote for being a plus one so like I like get cash but I said it was from like the
both of us but I'm sure like getting also like got other stuff versus or I guess I did the same
thing I just said it was from the collective not the individual yeah I also wonder though like
you know how when you well I don't know if you guys have gotten this but usually after a wedding
you get like a letter from the bride and groom and they write you a thank you note for attending
and I'm like oh do you think you get it because you sent a gift and so they have your info and
if they can like mail you your stuff what if you as a plus one didn't send a gift they wouldn't
have your info like you might not get a letter I when you RSVP to a wedding though you usually
put in your address right so that they can send you like a formal invitation well I never got a
formal invitation for my yeah yeah I guess they could always ask the original guest like what's
your plus one's info so I can send them a letter or whatever but maybe you also like got one
because of like you were the plus one of someone that is very close to the wedding room like maybe
if you were like outer circle plus one then it would be like just the thank you letter would be sent
directly to like whoever got invited and be like thanks person A and person B for coming
appreciated you're probably right on that I've been blessed that I've been a guest a plus one for
a close family yeah I think that makes sense because what we did for our wedding
invitations was like we tried to pick one address for like each unit that we were inviting so if
it's like a family then usually we would send like one invite or have one person RSVP for everyone
unless we like knew each person like really well individually and stuff and similar things for
like plus ones it would go to one address probably but I think in terms of like the gifting and
stuff my understanding is like the price that each person is gifting is like the same per person but
then you just give bigger amounts as like a unit sort of so then I think that kind of makes sense of
you're still paying for your seat in a way but it's just lumped in like different categories
but it was an interesting thing for me for like this past wedding where I went with my parents right
but I also know my family friend and we've been friends since we were pretty young like
through church and stuff so then I was like should I gift with my parents or should I like gift separately
but I did want to have my name kind of show up on the gift list so I was like I'll just give
this separately and I think that was a good idea like being loved with parents is I think fine but
I also just wanted to make sure to express my gratitude for the invite and also just like wish
well wishes for her marriage and stuff separately for my parents wait that's true too because usually
on the registry after you like buy something or send the cash or whatever you can write a little
note which I think is like a nice touch right aside from gifting I do think there's one last
plus one duty that comes with being a plus one to someone in the wedding party which is a lot of
the times people in the wedding party will do speeches right whether it's in the main reception
or in like the rehearsal dinner before so as a plus one to someone who is giving a speech
how much did you help your date practice or did you even help them write the speech itself?
I proofread and like give some edits or suggestions I don't think she like practiced just saying it
to me because like we were in like together like the week before the wedding because we were like
flying from New York several times and like she was an SF-Ausen Prima yeah just like
proofreader edits I think Katie's was funny because she had her on a google doc and she like
messaged our friend group chat and was like hey everyone like help out I need help
yeah she's delegating I mean her when we read it we were like this is a good speech
but I guess two brains or more brains is usually better than one brain but I feel like you probably
never want to like help literally write this speech because you don't know the couple like they do
yeah because I've like given a speech like my cousin's wedding previously so I just like was like
hey like I did like these types of things are like shared like this type of story if you like have
similar experiences but just like for your person when I was a plus one I did help like listen to
the person say their speech and I think it was helpful because I could be like oh maybe you could
try like more arm gestures or like you know this or that because I think like I think it's very
easy to like be nervous and then like read your speech and be kind of stiff so it's like helpful
if they just read out loud and then you help remind them like oh it's all chill you know like
we're all friends here like you don't need to be nervous about it so yeah it's pretty much what I
did nothing too crazy do you guys think there will be a lot of chat GPT speeches at wedding
home oh my god dude honestly maybe that's like it would probably be a good starting point
yeah this is how I feel make it sound nice yeah I feel like low key if I was a part of the wedding
party and I had to give a speech and I had like worked on it and bounce ideas off my partner and
things like that I would kind of want him to like laugh really hard when I'm giving the speech at
like the right points because it only takes one person to laugh and everyone else kind of chain
reacts because they're like oh shit now I need a laugh so I would probably pray that James
would laugh at the moment where like my jokes are landing and encourage like reaction from the audience
James like in the back I feel like a plus one dude used to like gas them up if they're giving a speech true gas
them up calm their nerves I kind of stuff well that answers a lot of my curiosity is about what
plus one duties really are so thank you Abby for joining us today and sharing all of your experiences
of being a plus one and of course thanks crystal for sharing your experiences as well if any of
our listeners have been a plus one toe wedding and think we might have missed out on some of the
duties that you feel like you had to fulfill then definitely hit us up we have Instagram at
e-your-crestpod and we also have email e-yourcrestpod at gmail.com and don't forget to follow us on
Apple Podcasts Spotify wherever you listen to podcasts we upload new episodes every Wednesday
and if you follow us on Spotify we also have started putting up weekly Q&As with our episode releases
so check that out thanks for listening and don't forget to eat your crust also my roommate has
requested a shout out to episode 93 today and you're wanting episode go check that out
