When you feel like you've been fighting for the longest and you've put the work in and you've given it your all, but just nothing seems to be going your way and you just feel like you're on the brink of wanting to give up, like none of it's worth it anymore and you can't do it anymore.
And what's the point?
And maybe you're not cut out for what you thought you were cut out for.
That's when you watch this video.
If you guys are new here, I have this series on my channel.
It's called Watch This When, and they are reassuring videos that you can watch whenever you're in a particular mood.
I have one for when you're feeling sad, when you need motivation, and this one is all about when maybe you've been in a bit of a slump and you just need that pick me up to keep going, because adversities are going to be thrown at all of us, no matter what.
It's about having that strategy in place to keep that commitment to your goals, regardless of your mood or regardless of how hard the journey has been so far.
So in this video, I'm going to be going through 10 reassuring pieces of advice you need to remember and you can listen to to get you through this difficult phase.
But before we get into it, I want to mention BetterHelp who are the paid partner of today's video.
Throughout my own journey of therapy with BetterHelp.
It has changed the way I've seen myself and also how I've seen different adversities and difficult phases I've been through in my life, because when you're going through it or when you've got trauma to heal and unpack, you're so much in the thick of it that it's really difficult to see a way out of it.
The most self-loving thing I could do for myself in that situation is seek out expert advice and solutions, which I definitely got through my therapist on BetterHelp.
She helped me see my problems in a completely different way and helped me give solutions that I didn't even think were possible before, because I was so consumed by my sadness or my stress.
My therapist really validated my emotions but helped me move away from it and allow me to stop internalizing all of those problems and instead just frame it for what it really was, so that I stopped seeing it as such a big deal, and it just changed everything for me.
I am such a big advocate for BetterHelp because it makes starting therapy so much easier.
I wanted to start therapy all throughout my teen years and I thought, I don't know who to go to.
How am I supposed to find one?
I don't know anybody else who's gone through therapy.
I don't know how this works.
And BetterHelp understands that.
Everybody goes through those obstacles, and they're here to make the entire journey easier for you.
All you have to do is go to betterhelpcom and fill out their quick questionnaire, which is going to assess your needs.
Once you've done that, you're going to get matched to a credentialed therapist so quickly and when it's time for your therapy sessions, it's super flexible and you can do it in a way that makes you feel most comfortable, whether it be on a phone call, video call or even text message.
And if the first therapist you've been matched to isn't quite the right fit which is super common in therapy you can actually switch to another at no extra cost, which is so important.
With how busy my day-to-day life is, I officially had no excuse left not to start therapy when I could do it in the comfort of my own home over video call and mold it to fit my own schedule.
You guys can click the link in the description or go to betterhelpcom forward slash tamcore to find out how therapy can help you, just like it helped me.
And by using that specific link in the description, you're actually really supporting me and this channel.
One.
The moment you want to give up is usually the moment you're actually closest to change.
Growth doesn't feel exciting when it's happening.
It's not supposed to.
The entire point of it is that it's supposed to be hard and confusing and super transitional.
That's exactly why you grow.
You are navigating complex emotions, complex situations, doing things you've never done before, and that can be super hard.
It's expected that this is going to be a lonelier period of your life, where you're not sure how it's going to end up and you're not sure what's going to happen.
But if you had 100 certainty and predictability and what was going to happen and who you were going to turn into, you would be exactly the same person your entire life.
Not knowing what's going to happen is such a gift.
It means you were exactly where you were supposed to be about to transform into somebody you never even thought you could be, with a life you never even imagined possible.
Sure, it feels like you're doing everything right and nothing is working, but that's the point.
This is exactly where you double down and you practice to have so much confidence and belief in your vision, because this is the moment when 99 of people give up and quit right before they get to their goal.
The hard part is that progress is a bumpy ride.
It's silent, it's not exciting and it's not something you can scream and shout about like the success you're gonna get at the end of it.
Remember that in order to get to where you want to be and grow into a bigger and better version of yourself, you have to shed the version of yourself you have been so far because it doesn't fit where you're going and it doesn't fit your life anymore, and that's uncomfortable.
You are simply in a process of grieving who you always have been and what you have always known.
So give yourself grace through that understand.
That's where the sadness and the hopelessness is coming from.
Those emotions do not dictate how far you can go and how successful you can be.
Remember to distinguish between those.
Every single person you have ever admired or looked up to has gone through the quiet months and years beforehand of silently building.
That's what nobody sees.
You see the fancy job or the materialistic things and the success and the money and the accomplishments and the ease.
But before that had to come, the transition had to come, the outgrowing yourself, outgrowing situations, environments and people around you.
That's inevitable and that's required of everyone.
Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not there.
Meaning, again, you are exactly what you're supposed to be.
Two, you are not behind, you are just in the messy middle.
Nobody talks about the middle.
The beginning, starting, having the idea, that's exciting.
That's something to scream and shout about and feel like you're about to embark on this amazing journey.
The end, even sweeter.
You've got the success, you've got the results, but the middle, the middle is the most important part.
It's how you transition between the two, and we need to start being more grateful for that part in the journey.
Sure, the middle is where things feel slow and repetitive and lonely, but again, super necessary.
Your lowest moments, which will happen in the middle, do not define your potential.
What it does define is your skill set and how you're going to move forward from this point.
Those low moments, the moments where you don't want to get out of bed and you don't know if it's worth moving forward.
That is the process that builds your discipline, so that you can become the type of person that can actually handle the life that you're asking for and that you're trying to build.
When no one knows what you're building and no one's celebrated you yet, because you're not quite there yet.
This is where you start practicing self-celebration.
You start mastering self-confidence and self-love, carrying yourself through that independence and self-sufficiency.
Being in the messy middle does not equate to failure.
It simply means you're just still in the process.
And that requires patience and self-belief.
Three your brain is trying to protect you, not guide you.
You feeling like you want to give up.
Isn't your brain deciding and evaluating your potential?
It's your brain just trying to reduce discomfort, realizing oh my god, giving up is the easy way out.
Giving up is how we avoid all of these difficult emotions and processes.
Why?
Because it's scientifically proven that your brain will always choose familiar over successful, and that's a problem, a problem that you need to remember so you don't fall into the trap of thinking all of your thoughts are real and determine who you are and what you're capable of, because that's not true.
Just because something is difficult doesn't mean it's not meant for you.
Because, the truth is, the things that shape you and your transformation the most are often the things that are the hardest.
Your brain doesn't understand or care what it takes for you to grow transform reach fulfillment happiness, success.
It doesn't care about any of that.
Your brain wants to avoid the feelings of doubt and fear and uncertainty so much that it will convince you.
Anything that's making you feel that way is not worth it.
But again, that's not true.
Four nobody's life makes sense while they're living it.
Maybe you're watching this right now and you just feel so exhausted, like nothing's working and you can't make sense of any of it.
But i want you to take a second and look back at your life.
At every past situation where you've ever felt like this right now, where it's not worth it, i want to give up.
This is too hard and now that maybe years have passed and you look back, you actually understand why you had to go through that, all the lessons that it gave you, the necessary life experience and skills that it gave you.
We only ever understand things in hindsight.
That's when things start to make sense.
A few years after, when you've lived a little bit more life and you realize actually I wouldn't be the person I am today without that difficult experience that made me want to give up.
When you're inside the moment and the process, sure it feels like chaos and like nothing makes sense.
But remember your future self that has everything that you're striving for right now.
They're looking back at you and realizing this is all part of the plan and this is all a necessary part of the plot.
You have already survived and thrived through so many times in your life where you just thought you couldn't make it out.
And instead it made you grow stronger.
Grow in ways that that comfort and familiarity that your brain craves could never.
And this links into number five the version of you five years from now with everything you want, would beg you not to quit today, and really i think that's the only reminder we all need, because you owe everything to that future version of you.
They didn't give up, they kept going, they pushed through the hard parts of the journey because they knew they deserved what was at the very end and they loved and appreciated themselves enough to know it's worth sitting through this difficult emotion, if it's gonna get me what i always dreamed of, Because one day you're gonna look back at this moment, you might read past journal entries or look at a time in your camera roll that looks so scary and you're gonna be so grateful you didn't let those emotions dictate your decisions.
It's okay to sit through them, it's okay to be sad and it's okay to comfort yourself through those temporary emotions, but it's not okay to allow them to change the course of your life.
Your future self literally exists and is built from the decisions you make on days like this.
The decision to keep it pushing.
The version of you who finds that peace success happiness, fulfillment is relying on what you're doing right now.
Six, your current reality is not permanent.
Maybe you've been in this phase for a hot minute and it feels like you can't even see a way out.
It might feel like things are just always gonna be this way.
Maybe you've been chasing your dream and hustling for years at this point.
But remember that life changes faster than we realize.
I'll use myself as an example.
I started my first YouTube channel when I was 14 years old.
I'm 25 today.
And my YouTube took off when I was 23.
I had graduated from uni and I was putting out YouTube videos every single week and they were not getting even an inch of growth on them.
No new viewers, no one was watching me.
And overnight one of my videos blew up and it has changed the last few years of my life and it's given me so many opportunities past me never even dreamed of.
And it's all because my past self didn't give up.
I used to cry so often because i thought what's the point?
I'm not even making a penny every single month.
I'm living with my grandparents, all my friends have got jobs, i'm not doing anything, i'm not getting anywhere.
But i kept going because i believed in my vision, because i believed i shouldn't have to sacrifice my dreams just because it's a little bit hard in the moment.
And after months and months of doing the same thing and putting the video out, even though there was no improvement week on week and no sign or evidence that it was going to get me what I wanted, it did.
And thank God it did.
And this is why I will always tell people your life can literally change tomorrow.
It can change in an hour.
That's why you owe it to yourself to keep going.
The most reassuring thing I can tell you is that you could be one decision, one action, one opportunity, even a conversation, away from a completely different life today,
Seven, you're allowed to outgrow the person you used to be.
Matter of fact, it's very necessary to the journey.
Wanting to give up is just a sign that your identity is shifting and you're in this temporary weird, scary phase of not knowing who the hell you are, because the new version of yourself hasn't even been fully formed yet.
Growth is grief and you have to mourn the death of the old version of yourself.
Remember that outgrowing something doesn't mean it's wrong for you.
It just means you're hitting those new, higher levels of your life where different things of yourself, of your mindset, are required.
And that's just the work you're doing right now, and it takes time.
Eight, you are doing better than you think.
Your brain is literally programmed to remember your mistakes more clearly than your progress.
Again, like I said before, because it's trying to keep you safe, because it's trying to look out for threats and danger.
So now we have to do this consciously.
If you now clearly think about who you used to be and compare who you are today to who you were a year ago, then you would realize how much has changed and how far you've come without even realizing it along the way.
Because you were so busy dealing with the complicated emotions and the struggle of the day-to-day and the chores and the responsibilities and the busyness, you completely left your old life and self behind.
You are doing things and thinking in ways, and moving in ways that you never even used to think possible, and all that progress happened through those hard days where you couldn't even pay attention to the progress you were making.
And listen, you are also not supposed to feel confident all the time.
Confidence can come and go depending on which season and chapter we are in our life.
Confidence, I've always said, is a lifelong journey and it's through these hard days and it's through the phases of wanting to give up that actually builds up your foundation of confidence even more.
You're literally in the process of making yourself be as confident as you want to be.
And your brain has a negativity bias.
It's always going to scan for what's wrong or what could go wrong.
That's why it's in your hands and your responsibility to think about or journal or even talk about even all the small wins you've had so far and the growth that you've achieved, because your brain is not doing that job for you.
That's why you feel so down right now.
9.
You don't need to win today.
You just need to keep going.
That's it.
We can take this in baby steps.
You don't need to have everything figured out right now.
You don't need to know where you're going or what the master plan of your life is.
Sometimes the only goal is to be consistent, is to keep going, is to wake up every day and to fight with whatever energy and capacity you have that day.
Just think about the small steps that are actually going to help you go to bed that night and feel like yeah, I really contributed to creating the life and the future self that I've always wanted to do.
Whether it's first getting out of bed and putting some clothes on so you're ready and fresh for the day and you feel more motivated to get something done instead of bed rotting all day or opening your laptop to just work for one minute, because nine times out of ten you're always going to keep going and enter a flow state.
It's those tiny decisions today that are going to lead to huge changes in the future and huge leaps in your growth.
And how simple does that sound?
It doesn't need to be this huge thing you've made out in your head of ticking off every single thing on your vision board in the next two months.
It's unrealistic.
But what you need to remember is Those things, those bigger goals.
They will naturally happen if you take the small baby steps of actions and work and commitment and responsibility today.
And let's just pause for a second before I get to the tenth and final point, because I want to say this to you and I want you to remember this
Out there exists the future version of you, the one that you're building right now.
She's calmer, she's happier, she's more peaceful, she's accomplished, she knows how to carry herself and she's overcome so much.
She's living a life that you can't even fully imagine yet, because she just keeps building and building.
But she does exist.
And if she could talk to you right now, in this exact moment where you feel like giving up, where you feel like it's not worth it, where you feel like you're not even gonna get to her level, you know what she would say.
She would just say thank you.
She would say thank you for sitting with these emotions for me.
Thank you for continuing on the days where it feels hard.
Thank you for choosing to get up again and again and again, even when it doesn't feel good.
Thank you for continuing and working when you had no proof or evidence that it was gonna get better or that it was gonna be successful.
Thank you for having that belief, confidence, and momentum to put in the work for me to exist.
Because the only reason your future self gets to live that life and gets your dreams is because of every single step and decision you choose to make today.
So if all you can do for today is to keep going, is to do one more little work task, or tick off a to-do list box in your journal, then do it.
Keep going because it's all adding up for you.
And finally, step number 10.
One day your future self will thank you for surviving this version of your life.
The person you are right now watching this video is being shaped, is being transformed.
Yes, through all of that confusion and doubt and sadness, you are quite literally just in the making, even you sitting down and choosing to watch this video to try and navigate yourself out of this emotion and this difficult decision.
This is also a tiny little step in the grand, huge picture of your life and your inevitable success and joy and fulfillment, because you are firefighting right now and finding the solution to be able to take the next best step for yourself, and that deserves a round of applause because you're doing the best thing you can for yourself.
And yes, it's not always gonna look perfect.
And yes, it's not always gonna be 100%, but we're not robots.
We don't have 100% of energy and capacity all the time.
You are doing 100% of what you are capable of doing right now.
And that's something to be proud of.
That's something for you to look at yourself and be like Look at me, I'm giving it my best shot, not this is where I'm falling short.
Trust me, there will absolutely come a day where the struggles that you're fighting right now are just going to become another part of your success story.
They're not going to feel hard or overwhelming anymore.
They're going to be proof of how resilient you became.
They're going to be proof of how you need to push through no matter what.
They're going to be advice that you give to others on how you overcame your hardest days to become who you are right now.
And slowly you will realize that the version of you right now that really wanted to give up was actually the version of you that had the most courage to keep on going.
And that brings us to the end of this video.
I hope this video helped you.
If it did, please comment down below and let me know.
I love making these videos for you.
And be sure to check out this playlist here.
If you want some motivation, if you really want to have another mood boost, I've got you.
I'm here for you.
And be sure to check out all the links below in the description, because I make journals and I've written a book and I do all of these things down below there that help you get to the next version of yourself.
Because my name is Tamco and I'm all about helping the girlies close the gap between their current and ideal self.
I'll see you next week for a brand new video.
I appreciate you.
Bye.
