Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the very sexy lounge act, Milk and Honey.
Yeah.
Oh!
Oh!
Hello, ladies and gentle ladies.
I'm Sam Honey, and I am...
Philip Milk, thank you for having us.
Thank you, yes.
Oh, that band is sounding good tonight.
Yes, indeed.
This is the kind of music that gets us in trouble, if you know what I mean.
You're all looking fine enough to make a good dog break his chain.
Bark, bark.
Bark.
You know that, being in front of so many beautiful women, I can't even help but think of all the times I've made love.
Like so bunches and bunches of times, for sure.
Oh, you and me both.
Right.
I have also definitely made love before.
Right.
And it's not even scary to me.
No, no.
No, we're not lying about that.
And here's a little song that proves it.
When my woman takes off her clothes, it's a sight that I surely know.
Oh, buddy, it makes me shout out loud.
Yo, awesome body.
Your middle is my favorite part.
Oh, kudos to the chief.
My lady.
Yes.
That's right.
Yeah.
That is a really good song.
Yeah, yeah.
And the specifics of it really prove that we have both definitely made love before.
Yeah.
Because when we make love, crazy things happen.
Yeah, you do not have to tell me that.
But if someone in the audience could actually tell us what kind of things happen when you make love.
Yeah, you can't be too specific.
No, don't like literally say anything that happens, please.
Gotcha.
That was a test.
That was a test.
That was a test.
Y'all passed our little quiz, you sexy ladies and apparently gentlemen.
And now, here's your reward.
Yes.
Yes, indeed.
Oh, shucks.
Come over here, baby.
Yeah, turn off those lights.
Let me run my hands through your sexy hair.
Mmm, that's good hair.
Now what?
Now what?
Oh, just kidding.
We totally know.
We know.
We know.
First step to making love?
Get on the bed.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Sorry, it's so firm.
It's technically a box spring.
Yeah, sorry about that.
But the next step, the next step, we take off all of our clothes and fold them very neatly on the floor.
I think
Right.
Gadzooks, your middle's even better than the last girl.
That's a good middle.
Dang.
Come a little closer, baby.
Don't worry.
I don't bite.
Right, that's not part of this.
That's not what I'm supposed to do.
I don't.
Then it's time to do the thing humans have been doing for hundreds of years.
Oh, yeah.
When we wake up the next morning, you know we did what we did.
Yes, we did.
There's no need for me to really say it.
Don't say it.
Not at all.
I'd rather you not say what we did.
Yeah, that's right.
We're telling the truth about having made love, by the way.
Oh, yeah, totally.
We are totally telling the truth.
And to prove it, let's just say, at the same time, our favorite part of a woman.
Three, two, one.
The middle.
Left leg.
Still don't believe us?
Oh, well, you should.
Well, let us spell it out for you.
We're talking S-E double hockey sticks.
And this text song ought to prove that we are experienced whoopee havers.
Let's go.
I'm moving to the left.
I'm moving to the right.
I'm moving to the baby who tells me what she likes.
Tell me.
Please tell me.
Be specific.
What specifically happens next?
Oh, yeah.
Thank you so much, everyone.
That is our time.
I know that was quick, but if I know anything about sex, then making love, that's a good thing.
Yes, sir.
We'll see you later.
Same sexy time, same sexy place.
Hit it.
I'm moving to the left.
I'm moving to the right.
I'm moving to my baby to tell me what you like.
Tell me.
Tell me what you like.
Tell me.