You clicked on this video because you already have it girl potential, and i know that because there are so many people i know in the world and personally that would never click on a video like this because it's not their priority, it's not what they're interested in and it's not what they aspire to.
And that's mostly because they don't already have it in them.
And that's fine, everybody's different.
But there is a reason that you clicked on a video like this is because you have a star power, a magnetism, an aura already within you and you just need to figure out how to channel it and use it to the best of your ability to get what you want.
This video isn't about how to be the trendiest, most admired girl out there, because you've already got that in you.
This video is about how to use your it girl power, your it girl personality and mindset to your fullest confidence.
Why?
Because it is so easy to shrink and forget that it's even there.
So many people that you meet in this life, when you have that potential, when you have that star power, they will recognize that within you and they won't say anything about it.
They will pretend like it's not even there.
They will in fact, treat you as if you have no potential, because they're hoping that you forget about it.
So, to counter that, I'm here to remind you of it.
I also want to give a really quick mention to the fact that it kills journal, okay?
They take care of their mindset.
They manifest their deepest desires.
They stay accountable.
They track their goals because their biggest investment and biggest asset is literally themselves.
And we'll get into that deeper later.
But this is just why I wanted to highlight self-obsessed journal.
I literally set up this business and created this journal for a reason because I knew there was nothing out there on the market already like it.
This is it girl mentality, it girl energy, and it girl habits literally combined into one product.
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The biggest lie about it girls is that they're chosen.
As if other people have deemed her worthy enough and approved of her by their standards.
That literally doesn't make sense.
That's literally the opposite of an it girl.
A crowd pleaser.
A girl who follows what other people thinks she should do.
A girl who literally mirrors other people's desires to please them.
No, no, no, no.
An it girl is a girl who is so confident to stand in her authenticity and her unique self, in her differences, to the people around her.
And that is what makes her admired, because if she was the same as what everybody else was doing, nobody would even pay attention to her, because she'd literally blend in.
She'd be too familiar.
You have to initially have the courage and confidence to be striking and to be out of the ordinary and to not have everyone agree with you at first and still go tunnel vision in on that.
It girls aren't chosen or decided by other people.
They are self-decided, they are self-created and self-chosen, and that, right there, is exactly what makes them so magnetic.
And where most people mess up here is most people try to be liked by everybody else and try to fit in with the crowd, and so they dilute themselves.
They want to make themselves more digestible to whatever group they're trying to fit into, But it girls never do that.
They simply just keep working on themselves, refining what makes them so different and pouring so much attention and effort into that.
She never chases attention and she never waits for permission because she gives it to herself.
And the best example I could give you of this is an it girl would post something on her Instagram and literally forget about it because she has so many plans that day.
She has so many other things to think about, so many hobbies habits, things to pursue and enjoy because she's in her life.
She's thriving.
She forgot what she even put out.
She posted it because she loved it.
Done.
Don't even need to think about it again.
Your regular, average everyday person would post something and think what are people going to think about this?
Is this good enough?
Do I need to edit my features?
This isn't good enough to make it onto my feed.
What are the people going to think about it?
And they would be literally checking who's viewed their story and then trying to perceive themselves in the lens of everybody on that list that viewed their story.
No, no, no.
And this links into my second point.
The it girl is a social perception that she controls.
So much of being an it girl is about perception, because when you're an it girl, people are going to perceive you.
They are going to pay attention to you and they are going to inevitably make an opinion.
And to be an it girl, first and foremost, you have to be okay with this.
You have to be okay being perceived.
And I have an entire video of this if you have a fear of being seen, so you can overcome that over here.
And when you come to terms with the fact that yeah, people are gonna be looking at me when I walk out into the street.
The world is literally laying down a red carpet for me when I walk out, because everybody in a room always stares at me or everybody's always noticing everything I do.
That shouldn't scare you.
That should just empower you to be more careful and curated about how you move in the world and the actions you take, because you know they are noticed more than the average person's.
You are going to live a life that's fully exposed, so you just have to be selectively visible.
You have to be selective with what you share, selective with what you tell people, selective in how you come across, whether that be having an interaction with somebody knowing that maybe you're being mistreated or a situation is unfair.
And although you might feel angry on the inside, you know to just calm that down, hold it there, process it a little bit later and keep your calm and keep your cool.
Or it's about putting more effort and thought and attention into knowing what your strategy is when you walk into a room.
So, for example, when I walk into a room, I love to focus on the way that I make people feel, the way that I converse with them, the way that I'm considerate in even paying attention to a person and making sure that everybody's included in a group.
It's the way that you speak to a waiter.
It's the way that you react when something goes wrong, when your patience is being tested.
That is ultimately what people are gonna remember and you have the power to control it.
This links into my third point.
The it girl is not reactive.
She is self-led.
The average person will build themselves out on other people's opinions, trend cycles, what the media is saying is cool or popular to do, basically always concerning themselves with what's going to make me liked, what's going to make me admired and what is the right slash, cool thing to do.
But that never comes across on the it girls mindset because they solely build themselves up on their internal decisions and their internal opinions, and it's common knowledge.
They never ask what's trending, they decide what's trending.
They literally will throw something on and that will be the new it girl thing to do, aware that everybody else follows and decides okay, now it's cool.
It's why you'll find that certain celebrities will come out wearing something and everyone hates it literally everyone's hating on them, and you're looking at it like, oh why did they do that?
And then, two years later, everybody's doing it.
If that's not the biggest sign to just trust in what you like, because other people will catch up.
They're just behind.
I don't know what is, but a really good day-to-day example of this is just staying firm in your opinion, not being mid-conversation with somebody realizing your values don't align and they're of a totally opposite opinion to you, and then you decide to change your opinion mid-conversation to just make things less awkward.
That doesn't need to be a thing.
The it girl would stand firm in what she believes in.
My next point is a little bit more to do with aesthetics, and that's that the it girl is a story that everybody can understand and follow.
If you were to ask your friends to describe you in three words and they all say wildly different things about you, or each word is just very disconnected and inconsistent.
It means that you're showing up inconsistently, that you don't have your personal brand down yet.
You don't really know who you are and therefore the decisions, actions and ways that you're choosing to present yourself don't reflect the story that you wanna tell yourself or the story that you're bringing into the world.
Now, this isn't to say that we're chasing external validation or that we care what other people have to say about us, but an it girl is an it girl because people can understand her vibe.
They get her signature.
How would she dress?
How would she spend a morning?
Like you have to be able to think of someone and kind of be able to guess that's what their ideal weekend would be, whether it be going on a long walk with their dog, going and getting an expensive coffee with their friends or partying all weekend.
Like these are all different types of people and people need to kind of figure out the overall story of you, because if people can't get you or understand you quickly, then it's hard to attach to you or bond with you or connect with you or follow you.
And this isn't just down to clothes.
It's not about always wearing heels or always wearing dresses.
It's also about how you show up and your values, your mindset and how you come across.
It's like you can't say i'm so confident and i'm so outspoken and look, i even overdress and then at the same time apologizing for everything you do or overthinking everything you do or second guessing yourself in every decision you make.
The two just don't add up and then somebody can't label you as yes, that's my confident outgoing friend.
She's such an it girl because you are always contradicting yourself.
People don't believe what you say you are, they believe what you repeat, and the more things that you repeat kind of build up your story of who you are as an it girl.
And that brings us into chapter number two, the transformation.
This is where I want you to get tunnel vision on becoming the it girl and bringing it to its highest level.
We are not playing small anymore.
And disclaimer.
A lot of this chapter is about just editing refining shedding, because being a net girl isn't about adding more.
It's not about being a different person.
It's not about needing to adopt all these different hobbies or ways of doing things.
It's about understanding what you need to let go of, what you need to sacrifice, what you need to step away from, so that you can step into the next version of yourself without staying attached to past versions of yourself that you've outgrown and that simply don't align with you and where you're going.
That being said, my first point for this chapter is you need to detach from your current identity first.
Because you can't become the it girl.
You want to be the most confident, ideal version of yourself, while you're still attached to old patterns, old ways of thinking, old reactions, all the things that you're currently doing which you know hold you back.
Transformation always starts with detachment not needing to always know what your next step is and not always needing to choose the most familiar comfortable, predictable path.
For example, while you're on this transformation to being an it girl, you can't have the goal of being that it girl who's like the top student in the class while also still holding onto your comfortable pattern of being the girl that sits right at the back of the class and never talks to anyone and never raises her hand and is kind of shy.
No, you need to, then adopt the new habit of sitting at the front, talking a little bit more, walking into the classroom with your head held high, not constantly worrying about other people's perceptions of you.
When it comes to this step, remember you are not sacrificing your joy or your happiness.
You are simply sacrificing comfort for the end goal.
And that comfort is the comfort of fitting in, of being understood by everyone, of being liked by everyone.
That's the cost of this.
Secondly, during this transformation, you are going to feel a fraud.
You're going to feel like you don't know how to do this and nothing feels natural.
Good.
That means you are exactly in the right step and you are actually growing and transforming and you're experiencing the inevitable discomfort with that.
Keep going.
Matter of fact, go even faster.
Because every identity shift, every transformation ever comes with a phase where it feels fake, where it feels like you didn't even know yourself anymore.
And that's simply because you are at a stage where you've shared so much of who you used to be and you're not quite where you need to be yet.
So you're in the middle.
It's a little bit messy.
You don't know who you are.
You feel a bit lost.
Maybe even the people around you are confused.
That's good.
Sit with it.
You're meant to be there.
I think my biggest tip here is just don't overthink it.
An it girl would never overthink it.
She'd know this is just a part of her journey and she's gonna roll with it.
I really want to use Serena Vanderwoodsen as an example here.
I feel like she was such an it girl because she was always in the messy middle of something.
She was always on a new journey.
Every summer she would say, I'm going to reinvent myself.
I'm going to do yoga.
I'm not going to be a party girl anymore.
And I'm sure while that was so hard and uncomfortable with her, she just effortlessly tried the journey.
She never put pressure on herself of this is what it should look like.
Or I have to succeed in this, or it has to be right.
She was just always open to trying new things.
And when you're on this journey, remember that your brain adapts due to exposure.
So the more places you go that align with who you want to be, the more you dress, the more you act, the more you speak like the full, maximum potential it girl version of you, the easier it is going to be to step into her shoes and just naturally be her on a day to day basis.
So I want you to just take a step back and think in what ways do I show up like the it girl?
I know I already am and that is inside of me.
And in what ways in my day-to-day life do I feel the most disconnected to her?
Is it when I shrink myself?
Is it when I don't speak up in group settings because I'm scared I'm gonna say the wrong thing?
Is it when I sit at the back of the classroom?
Is it when I turn down opportunities because I'm scared I'm gonna fail at them?
Then think about when you're at your highest self.
Is it when you don't care what you post on social media?
When you show up excellently dressed, even though you know people are going to stare at you, because you're comfortable being seen.
And then figure out what's missing in the middle.
What do you need to expose yourself more to?
That's going to be the opposite of everything, that makes you feel small and disconnected, and you need to do more of those actions so that you can finally shed all of the things here.
The discomfort and that fake feeling on the messy middle part of the journey will disappear once you make your new identity as familiar as possible.
And that means you need to channel her in as many situations environments, and as frequently daily as possible.
So the way I did this was I would just always show up on social media.
I would always be filming something.
Even when I didn't want to, I had to force myself into that role.
And people always ask me, you know, how do you post videos and content online to millions of people?
And I'm like, I don't even think about it anymore because I've been doing it for so long.
It doesn't even feel like, oh my God, thousands of people are perceiving me.
Same goes for when I was going on solo dates.
I just kept putting myself in new situations over and over and over again.
You become numb to any feeling of, oh my God, this is weird.
Because you're like, actually I made this my new normal.
And all it took was doing something several times.
That's pretty easy when you think about it.
You just gotta do something like seven times.
On the seventh go, you won't be uncomfortable anymore.
And that's a cost that's worth it.
And my final step for the transformation chapter is you need to let go of the desire to fit in.
And I know me saying that it might sound obvious.
You're like, of course I don't want to fit in.
I know I have this potential and I know that I can be confident and I don't need to be liked by everyone.
I know you know that.
But there are gonna be so many points in your journey because I've been through it where you're still growing and you're still there and you still have the desire to wanna connect with people and be friends with a range of different people, of course,
But when you are on this journey, the pool of people that you can relate to and genuinely closely bond to gets smaller and smaller and smaller, because everybody else is operating kind of on the same wavelength.
But you've gone tunnel vision into what makes you specifically you and just channeling that.
And that often can make other people uncomfortable.
It means that you're not gonna fit in in a lot of environments and you have to be okay with that.
And I'm just telling you this because there can be so many moments on this journey where you think why is that person treating me weird?
Or why is that person talking to me like that? you know, why is everybody being weird towards me?
This is why.
It doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong.
It means you've really just found yourself and it makes you less relatable.
And that's the cost of it.
That's not to say that you're going to be lonely.
It means again, you're in that messy middle transformation stage where you're about to meet the people that are super aligned to you, but there may be a period of loneliness in between.
And I'd also argue that every single time you are in a situation where you feel like, oh my God, these people are being weird towards me.
I don't know what to talk about.
I don't relate here.
I see that as a test from the universe.
Are you going to do what's most comfortable and the least awkward path, the path of least resistance, where you're like I'm just going to shrink and I'm going to be small and I'm just gonna say the most relatable thing and I'm gonna say what these people want me to say?
I'm gonna act in the way that they expect me to act.
That is you taking three steps back in your journey.
That is you betraying yourself for the sake of other people.
I believe it's a test, because if you can sit in that awkwardness and in that discomfort and you can be even louder in your truth and your authenticity, I think things get way easier for you when you attract more of what you've been manifesting on your journey to become who you need to be.
Because you've been given that test and you're like I don't care, I still choose me because that's what an it girl would do.
Because if you fail the test which would be downplaying your achievements or trying to be too humble or self-deprecating in a joking way to make other people laugh at your own expense do you really think that you're gonna find your people after that?
Do you really think?
That's not how manifesting works.
You're basically telling the universe, I'll settle for this.
I'm fine right here.
