This is not your basic back to school guide video.
I am not here to teach you the same old studying hacks, morning routines or you should speak to more people tips you've heard a million times before.
No, I am going to break down all of the mindset, advice and systems I wish I knew when I was in high school.
This is all based off of real world and life.
Advice I've learned since kindergarten, leaving school, and things that if I could go back to being a teenager tomorrow, this is all of the stuff I would implement.
And I can't wait for you all to learn about it so that you can be ahead of the game this academic year.
Before we get into it, just a quick one.
My brand new manifestation guided journal just launched on my website, selfobsessedjournal.com.
You can check it out using the link below.
Everybody is loving it.
The reviews are pouring in.
I am so, so excited.
I've spent the first half of the year designing it and using all of the knowledge I've learned on manifestation to pour into this journal, to make it easier to learn for everybody and to provide a real structure so that everybody can attract their goals much easier, just by filling out all the questions in the journal.
So if that sounds like a little bit of you and you want to start manifesting your goals before the new year gets here, then you can check it out on my website.
I highly recommend.
Also, a huge thank you to Squarespace who are the sponsors of today's video.
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Chapter number one, life and drama.
It's only right that we start with the kind of life problems that can happen at school, because I know there are so many of them and we've all been through them.
My first point, we need to leave the drama in the classroom.
This should not be something that is taking over your life and consuming you and your mental health and your emotions to the point where you think it's the biggest problem in the world.
Not to invalidate you.
I just want to give you a little bit of a reframe, which is going to make this whole problem feel way less important to you.
Because one thing we're not going to do is put our bullies and put mean girls on the pedestal.
What you need to understand is the people that insult you or try and make you feel inferior at school.
These people have the kind of troubles in their personal life, in their home life, in their mind, that you wouldn't even want to know about.
And for that reason, they take it out on other people at school.
No, that doesn't make it okay, but it does make it not your problem because it's never personal.
And that reframe is so important because it just goes to show.
Why would I feel pity for myself in being bullied by you?
When really, I actually just feel pity for you.
That you feel the need to resort to this.
It shows so much more about what you're going through and literally has nothing to do with me.
And once you start thinking in that way, I promise you, you are going to be so much more at peace.
That leads me to point number two, how to make friends at school.
High school can definitely feel like a popularity contest and I definitely felt that when I was there.
I just really got myself down about the fact that I didn't have the massive friendship group that everybody else had.
But I've grown up to realize one or two really good best friends beats 50 acquaintances easy, and that is true for the rest of your life.
I promise you that.
At the end of the day, all of the people in school that do have that group of 50 plus people, they can't say that all of those 50 people genuinely know them, understand them and connect with them on the most authentic level.
However, could you say that for your two closest best friends?
Yes.
And for that reason, I think truly that's all you ever need.
Because those two best friends literally tick off the human need for real genuine, authentic connection and love in our lives.
Having said that, I am still the biggest advocate for the fact that you still need to be speaking to other people at school.
Having those two close friends is not an excuse to shut yourself off from everybody else just because you might be a little bit introverted or shy.
I say this from experience because that is exactly what I did and I would say that's honestly one of my biggest regrets from school.
People are the game of life.
The more you get to know them, the more you speak to them, the more it's going to benefit you and your growth.
That is not to say you need to be besties with every single person you speak to.
You could speak to 30 new people and decide you don't like any of them because they don't align with you.
That's absolutely fine and you should still continue to do that, because it's even in meeting them for the first time, in having those first few initial conversations, you learn so much just from the social interaction and just from the way they might trigger you positively or negatively, or the opinions they have on the world, and how that's then going to reflect on you and influence how you think about things.
So much power in that, versus just being the quiet kid at the back of the classroom, which is what i was like all throughout school, and i really don't think that benefits anyone.
Tip number three is to romanticize.
This will save you and it's something I still do every single day in my adult life.
Life can get really hard and really, really boring and repetitive, especially when you're at school.
And the one thing you have to protect more than anything is your mental health and your happiness.
And I think a little bit of delusional energy and romanticization can get you there.
Especially for my high schoolers.
You have so many great TV shows and movies that romanticize this very era that you're in right now.
Please take advantage of that.
Don't let the reality of the day-to-day ruin it for you at all.
Rewatching shows like Gossip Girl, getting excited for those autumnal cafe study sessions with your besties or the outfit you're gonna put on for school in the morning.
Enjoy that.
The fact that you get to see your friends every single day.
The fact that, honestly, every single day when you go to school, you don't know what's gonna happen.
You don't know who you're gonna get sat next to in class.
You don't know who you're gonna speak to or who you're gonna meet.
Plus being productive and achieving your goals on a day-to-day basis is so fun.
This is truly an era that you are never going to get back, and there is no part of your adult life that is going to feel any what similar to your school life.
I'm not saying school is the peak of your life and it's the best it's ever going to be.
I actually think your adult life does get so much better.
However, because you're never going to experience anything like this ever again, please take advantage of it.
There are so many little aspects of it that you can romanticize.
So enjoy it while you can.
Tip number four is so important and this is the fact that you are supposed to be a beginner.
Stop expecting perfection or getting frustrated when things don't go your way.
Or you're not the top of your class yet, or you don't have the grades that you desire yet, or you don't have the friendship group that you're trying to get yet.
Things being hard and you failing is part of the game.
It's inevitable for everybody.
You messing up or something not going your way is not a personal character flaw.
You need to stop seeing your mistakes as failures and instead fuel for your growth, because they are all necessary.
Every tough class, lost game or low grade is not a verdict on your ability.
It is simply training for your resilience and intelligence.
This is why it's so important to adopt a growth mindset, because it really means that every single day, no matter what the result is, everything is always going in your favor.
And, if anything, it's gonna encourage you to step outside of the box a little bit and put yourself in situations that you wouldn't otherwise, because now you are not controlled by your fear of failure.
When you know that, regardless of whether you win or lose at something, it's still benefiting you, you're gonna sign up to the harder class.
You're gonna join a club that you didn't think that you had the natural talent to do.
You're gonna do it anyway for the fun of it and for the experience.
And my final tip for this chapter is to master your emotions.
It is gonna get you so far.
Because the harsh truth is, school isn't just a test of academic intelligence.
It's a test of emotional strength and intelligence.
You are gonna encounter so many difficult situations, whether it be with your classmates friends, communication issues with your teachers.
You're going to face stress, a lot of insecurity, as I did excitement, heartbreak and everything in between that.
And so emotional intelligence, which is the skill of understanding and managing your feelings, is going to be your secret weapon to make sure that you thrive throughout the whole year, through these problems.
Not to mention yes, algebra might get you through your exams and the year ahead, but emotional intelligence is a skill that, if you master now, will carry you through the rest of your life.
One thing I've learned in my 20s is you can really tell the difference between people who have emotional intelligence and people who don't.
They are the people that thrive in social interactions.
They are the people that make better connections in their adult life, in both the workspace and their social life.
They are the people that have better romantic relationships.
Because of it, healthy relationships even.
If you can learn it now, you are saving yourself so much time and heartbreak in your adult life and making your school life even easier as well.
So how do we do this?
One start by noticing your emotions, instead of just brushing them off and ignoring them because you think that they make you weak.
For example, if there is a mean girl at school.
I want you to actually sit with those emotions at home and allow yourself to process them.
Journal about them.
I wish I started journaling or keeping a diary when I was in my younger teens.
I think it would have saved me a lot of heartache by just processing those emotions and getting them off my chest, rather than letting them consume me all day.
And the next step is to practice empathy for others and also yourself.
There is no such thing as having a wrong emotion.
You are completely entitled and valid to feel whatever you feel regardless of what the situation is.
And the second, that you start being kinder to yourself and stop criticizing yourself for holding these emotions.
It means you can hold space for yourself, which means you can get over the emotion faster, allow it to pass and return back to a normal state.
The people that don't do that are the ones that let it bottle up, turn into resentment and then start spewing negativity or aggression to everybody around them because they haven't dealt with what's going on in here first.
Even when it comes to your schoolwork and you're feeling stressed.
It's about taking a step back and being like I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now.
That's completely okay.
What do I need to do to make this experience as calming and stable for myself as possible so that I can move through it?
Rather than thinking, I'm so stressed, I can't do anything, what am I gonna do?
And then just spiraling, wasting your time and procrastinating.
As a result, having mastery over your inner world means the chaos of school is not going to master you, and that self-control and awareness will set you up for success far beyond high school, i promise you.
And that leads us on to chapter number two, studying and goals, because we want to make sure that we've got those high grades, that we're achieving all of the goals we set for the year and we are the top students ever.
Just a quick one.
I do have many videos on my channel when it comes to studying, getting the best grades.
My favorite studying hacks
They're all in a playlist over here for you to check out.
I did just want to make sure this video was a little bit different and took a different tone and direction, because I didn't want to repeat anything I've told you before.
So if you do want more study hacks, make sure you check out these videos too.
Step number one, create an academic alter ego.
I am a huge fan of alter egos, as are many people in the world want to name literally.
Beyonce would have an alter ego when she went on stage to have the most magnetic and confident stage presence.
Ever since I learned this, I used an alter ego to try and speak to more people and be more extroverted, and it really did work in my favor.
But now that I think about it, having an academic alter ego would also be so powerful.
I actually have a complete guide on my channel on how to build an alter ego.
If you want the specific steps,
Essentially, it just means you can be more confident and you can develop characteristics you don't naturally have when you are shifting your energy to somebody that you know who does or to an idea of a person that you know who does.
So an example of this might be Rory Gilmore for you, or it could be Blair Waldorf and the way that she is so ruthless in her studying techniques and being successful.
So whenever you're struggling, ask yourself, what would Blair Bordoff do?
How would Rory Gilmore approach this test?
By tapping into this different version of yourself or through your favorite character, you are actually just embodying those characteristics until they become a normal part of yourself.
So really, you're just adopting the traits and the skills that you wanna have in the future anyway, and that will become a part of you the more that you act like and pretend to have them right now.
Step number three is to manifest away your inner critic.
Oh my God, I wish I knew about manifestation when I was in school, my life would have been saved.
But now that I'm obsessed with manifestation and I've literally created a manifestation journal, I just thought why does nobody talk about this for school students and how it could help them achieve their goals?
Because i know it all too well every single student has that little nagging voice in their head saying i'm not smart enough, or i'm an imposter, or what if i fail this test, always thinking of the worst case scenario.
So how can we combat this?
Through belief rewiring, aka manifestation.
I think a really easy way to achieve this, especially for beginners who don't know anything about manifestation, is through the law of assumption.
Basically, all this is is writing in the present tense, as if all of your desires have already come true.
So instead of saying, oh my god, i hope this test goes well and that somehow i'll be able to ace it, you say i'm so glad that the test today went well.
I felt so calm and collected and confident as i walked through the exam hall, picked up my pencil and knew the answer to every single question Studying is finally flowing.
It feels so natural to me.
It's so easy.
My mind is always sharp and focused and I'm actually excited to learn.
Now I know this sounds a little bit crazy and it's like you're lying and faking it, especially if you don't already believe those things right now.
But this is a very necessary step.
Because, by doing this and using the law of assumption, this practice uses cognitive dissonance to rewire your subconscious mind.
That way, the more your inner will says I got this because of what you're writing in law of assumption.
The less power that your critic can have to say you're not smart enough.
Essentially, you want to act like the future student version of you, who's already aced everything and knew that everything was going to be okay.
And she's basically just telling you to chill out right now because she knows everything's fine.
You're just using her confidence because she already exists just on a different timeline.
You're just taking all the power and confidence she has because she already got the results, and you're implementing them now, regardless of you knowing how it's going to go.
And this links into my next step, which is all about timeline collapsing.
Timeline collapsing and detachment are two of the most misunderstood manifestation techniques ever, but they can be especially useful for students, and this is how.
Timeline collapsing essentially means acting like the version of you who already has everything you want just right now.
For example, you don't wait to feel seen or validated by others to feel confident.
You just act confident now because that's the end goal.
That's what you want to have.
So, regardless of whatever's happening in your 3D reality, regardless of who's speaking to and who's not, you're going to have the confidence, no matter what.
You don't wait for you to get your grade back from your teacher to feel smart.
You decide you already are smart.
But remember this timeline collapsing only works when you pair it with detachment, which means not obsessing over the outcome, not stressing when you have a bad day or a bad moment.
It's about not worrying how and when things are going to come to you, simply sitting back detached and relaxed, knowing everything is working in your favor always, regardless of what is being shown in your physical reality.
Mentally, you are living in paradise.
You want to learn more about these practices?
It is fully outlined and written out for you in my brand new, obsessed with manifesting guided journal, if you guys want to check it out.
My next step is to make sure that you are always thinking of your future.
I'm talking extracurriculars, side hustles and setting up those skills that are going to serve you for life.
It is so important to think ahead of everybody else who might just be stressing about their daily classes or their exams.
I want you to think about how you're setting yourself up for life.
So here's a quick mindset shift for you guys.
Instead of just seeing high school as a place where you're going to memorize a few things and ace your exam and get that grade, I want you to see it as your own self-improvement gym.
Every class project or conflict that you have with other people is simply an exercise for your life skills.
So if you have a group project drama, that's a great opportunity for you to learn teamwork, which is going to serve you in the workplace.
If you have a difficult teacher, that's a great opportunity to learn better communication skills and negotiation to be able to get what you want further on in life.
When you start to approach school in this way, you will engage differently.
Your entire mindset will be different.
You'll be more confident, you'll take initiative, face challenges head on and seek lessons in every single experience you have, good or bad.
And my final step, which is my go-to and that I'm always gonna say to everybody, is make sure that you have all of your routines and systems set up in place.
My go-to thing when I was at school is I had like a whole afterschool routine.
So I would get back and make myself a drink immediately, complete the homework I was set that day by my teachers.
Then I would chill for two hours with my family or FaceTime my friends.
And then I would spend the evening on my side hustles or reading, or my hobbies, or setting up that website, like I said,
I did that every single day without fail, and I truly think it put me ahead of others, because while other people were leaving their homework to the last minute, I was always making sure it was good and I was in my teacher's good books.
I was making time to do things that were extracurricular outside of school, which has helped me and my career flourish a lot earlier and faster than most people now in my early 20s.
On top of that, make sure you have a morning routine.
This is something I didn't implement until my very last year of school, when I was 16, but I'm so glad I did it because again, I really think it shaped the person I am today.
I would wake up early in the morning.
I would get my fresh air.
I would have my breakfast.
I would learn French, even though I didn't have a French assignment like early in the morning.
Cause I really wanted to get good at the language and it was partly me preparing for my exam.
I would read, do my affirmations.
And at that point I was already journaling as well.
So I would get all of that done first thing in the morning.
And it really helped shape my mind, the relationship I had with myself, and just make me a better person outside of just being on this like survival journey of just trying to get through school.
You are working on yourself outside of that always.
Finally, chapter number three is the homework chapter.
Now for today's video.
I literally have one homework task for you.
I didn't want to overwhelm you guys, since it's back to school season.
You're gonna have so much homework on your plate already.
I just want to give you one which i think is so essential that you basically don't need anything else from me, and this homework task is to reinvent yourself.
Who do you want to be this year?
I really want you to take a step back and think about that, and then i want you to action it and make sure that you keep this promise to yourself, not only because keeping a promise to yourself is gonna grow your self-trust and your self-love and make sure you have a really good relationship with yourself, but because you deserve to be whoever you wanna be.
And when I say reinvent yourself, I don't mean you need to become a totally different person in order to be valued or loved or accepted.
Not at all.
I'm talking about developing those traits and those characteristics that I know you've always wanted, but there's some sort of blockage or mistrust or low confidence within you that's preventing you from having it.
Maybe it's something like you really want to present more to the class and do that public speaking, or you want to make more friends, or you want to learn your communication skills, or you finally want to join the drama club, but you felt like it was too cringy or embarrassing to do that.
Whatever it is, whatever's always been on your mind, i want you to figure out how to develop the alter ego, to be able to do it, or develop the traits or fake it till you make it so that you can be a totally different version of yourself by the end of this academic year.
Please don't spend the next year doing the same old stuff that you've always done.
Take some risks and just show yourself how far you can actually get and how much you can grow by just changing things up a little bit for yourself.
As awkward as it is remember, it is far more awkward to betray your own potential by sticking to a version of yourself that you have outgrown simply for the comfort and pleasure of others.
So remember to enjoy this next school year.
You are gonna thrive and love every second of it.
I am manifesting that for you.
And any single time you need a bit of a confidence boost or a bit of advice, treat this channel as your safe space.
You can rewatch this video or all of the school related videos I have here.
Please enjoy it, romanticize it.
Don't take it too seriously and keep those promises to yourself.
I love and appreciate you so, so much.
Be sure to check out all of the links below in the description.
They will all aid you on your self-improvement journey.
And I will see you next week for a brand new video.
Bye.
