[질투의 에너지를 영감으로 승화시키는 법: 결핍에서 풍요로의 전환]-[turn jealousy into inspiration]

You guys really proved my point of building confidence.

You proved to me that building confidence in the ways that i was talking about works and that it's worth it.

I just can't thank you enough.

I feel so grateful for connecting with all of you and i am just so happy because it's my dream to just make a difference in any of your lives.

Just to say something that maybe clicks somewhere, makes you see this differently.

So just thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for allowing me to talk and for listening.

I am just very grateful.

So let's talk about jealousy.

Good morning.

I am again making another floral arrangement.

It is first thing in the morning.

I wanted to come and talk to you guys about jealousy and turning that jealousy into inspiration, because jealousy is such a powerful emotion and i think that it can be used for good if it is shifted to inspiration.

So how do you do that?

What is jealousy?

Got a little peppermint tea going, cause my tummy is hurting a little bit this morning.

The definition of jelly, me holding, the definition of jealousy is feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements or advantages. and the definition of envy is a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck. as women and especially as young girls, we're all kind of taught to just be super jealous of each other i have noticed that at least like growing up that was always sort of the root of drama in middle school and everything was just like jealousy this person hanging out with this person and i'm jealous of this and that it was very ingrained in my brain to be jealous women are to a certain degree we have to rely on like our external appearance to get us anywhere or outward success for anybody to take us seriously it makes sense that we're always comparing ourselves to each other because in order to get any sort of validity in this world we have to come across as worthy or successful and if somebody else is doing that and you fear that maybe you don't have enough success in that way then you're gonna compare yourself you're gonna feel jealous we're taught to do that it's almost like a survival thing within us i feel like and so just as a young girl i always felt there was a need for me to be jealous and as a young woman now like we're supposed to be comparing ourselves in one way or another jealousy is such a vicious emotion and it is always hungry for more and there's just such a lack of satisfaction i know that i feel the most jealous whenever i see somebody doing something or achieving something very similarly to how i would want to achieve it some sort of level of success that i wish to achieve or something that i aspire to do and i watch somebody already doing it sometimes i can feel like i wish that was me and i'm jealous and i wish i could be in that spot and i envy them and their achievements if somebody has something that i wish that i had for the longest time that feeling of like, why not me? i'm so jealous of this person. the resentment comes and then you try to like paint a bad picture of that person in your head. like you just- you kind of start to put them down, you resent them because you are jealous of something that they have and i have definitely felt that before. i think we all have and it's okay. it's okay that we have it, it's just what do we do about it and how do we use that.

If you want what someone has, you won't get it through negatively charged emotions such as discontent or resentment.

And if you do, those feelings will only be perpetuated and find other resources to grow.

And that doesn't allow you to truly feel content or successful within yourself, no matter what material success you might gain.

Think about it like If you grow a crop in poisonous soil or a soil that has like lead in it or something like that, right.

Yeah, the crop will probably grow.

It can.

Maybe the soil is so unhealthy that it can't grow.

Like, if you're trying to do something out of jealousy, maybe it's just always going to sort of backfire, but at the same time your actions could bring you towards success and the crop could grow in the poisonous soil.

But what's gonna be in the crop now?

All the nutrients that should have been in the soil are not there and the crop is probably poisonous now that it's grown in poison soil.

Jealousy is.

It's like that.

If you're building something and the foundation is full of jealousy and resentment towards others, then your success is going to be a product of that.

It's like jealousy is a parasite.

It feeds off of comparison and ego.

That is what jealousy does, and any success that you gain through that emotion will just give it more and more validation and more food to just grow like fatter and fatter.

Your jealousy will just change forms and change shapes.

Say, you're jealous of this person because they achieved this accolade and then you're so jealous that it inspires you to do the same and then maybe you get that same accolade, but your jealousy it still exists, you know, like it's still the root there and it's going to look for something else now to resent somebody for and to feel jealous of, and then maybe it'll go find that too and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

And we haven't solved the root problem.

What is success if you can't enjoy it and feel like satisfied and happy and content in your achievements?

Like what is it if you're just hungry and resentful and jealous, wanting more and more and more?

Like It's one thing to be driven and want more success and to find ways to do that and to feel authentically satisfied and proud of yourself, versus just using that jealousy as fuel.

But, like I said earlier, jealousy is a very powerful emotion and it can be used for good, I think, if we turn it into something else.

If somebody else has something that you want, that is proof that there is enough to go around and that you can have it too.

We so often come from a scarcity headspace of, oh, there's not enough.

And if this person has that, then it's already taken.

I need to be the one who does this and does that.

It's just like no, if somebody else is doing something or has something or has achieved something that you also want, it's almost I don't want to say better that somebody has paved the way or done it before you, but it kind of gives you some inspiration.

It gives you a guideline of, okay, how did this person do that?

And how can I do that in my own way?

And can I use them as a guideline and as inspiration?

And the fact that they have accomplished this thing shows me that it is out there and it's possible for me to accomplish too, in my own way.

Jealousy is telling the, the people around you and yourself, and if you are spiritually connected to god or the universe or whatever you believe in, you're showing everyone and yourself and the universe god, whatever that you don't think you're worthy of having that thing, that whatever you're jealous of, you're feeling jealousy because you are not worthy of it.

Why else would you feel jealous if you thought, oh yeah, that person did it and i can do that too?

There wouldn't be any jealousy, there would just be motivation.

But the fact that you're jealous shows that you don't think that you're worthy within yourself.

It might not seem super obvious, like other people catch on to that but, like last time we talked about insecurity right, jealousy is- they're very related emotions.

They're very connected and anytime that you express that jealousy, or even if you feel it internally in your head, it is bound to come out in your emotions and your voice and your expressions.

Jealousy is showing yourself and others that you don't think you're worthy.

The thing that you want or the thing that you're jealous of somebody else for having is farther and farther away from you.

The more that you resent that person for having it and the more that you're envious and jealous of them.

It's kind of validating right, because it's like okay, if somebody has this thing, that means i can have it too.

But then it's kind of scary to think, oh no, the more jealous i am, the more farther away it is and the more i feel less worthy.

It's a little scary, but i promise you, initially being jealous of something is kind of a good sign because it shows you what you want and it shows you where you feel like you're lacking.

I think it can actually reveal a lot of valuable things that can help us grow as people.

Look how cute these are.

I love the little shape of these.

I think, what are these called?

I can never say this.

Renanculus.

Renanculus.

Renanculus's all right.

So I think an important distinction to make is that yes, if somebody did something or has something that you're jealous of, that you want, like it's proof that you can have it too if somebody else did it right.

But we can never have the same story or the exact same success as somebody else has had.

We can never have the exact same success story or the exact same achievements.

We can follow it similarly, but you can have the exact same make and model of a car that you're jealous of somebody for having right, but you can't have the exact same success story as somebody else.

We have to build our own, and inspiration is the greatest tool for that.

That is what we need.

That is literally.

Inspiration is our toolbox to create our own success story, and we can get that inspiration from the jealousy.

The jealousy can teach us how to be inspired.

And the first thing to ask yourself what is it triggering the envy in you?

Whenever you ask yourself what is triggering this envy and jealousy, it's an ugly journey to figure it out.

You know what i mean.

It's not a fun thing to look at.

That's why so many of us like, cover up our jealousy by like, oh well, you know, i could do that.

I could actually do that better.

So these questions can like, reveal a lot of painful conclusions.

So just be ready for that.

What is triggering my envy?

Where do I feel like I'm lacking so hard that I can't imagine myself being in that situation?

Why is this something that I feel like I can't have?

What is triggering your jealousy?

You don't feel adequate because you feel like you're lacking that.

Why does that person have that?

Why don't I have that?

Where do you feel the lack?

And once I think you figure that out, why am I getting triggered?

Where do I feel the lack?

Why do I feel like this person can have this and I can't?

Whatever the can't, the lack, the insecurity is, that is golden.

So find that why is this thing triggering me? where do I feel the lack?

And that insecurity is your answer.

So whatever it is.

And it's so uncomfortable to admit that insecurity.

But I promise you it is the first and most important step.

If you can do that, you are ahead of the game.

Because I think most people live their lives in jealousy and in insecurity and in comparison of other people.

And they don't want to admit the thing that they feel, feel they're lacking, or the reason that they feel inadequate.

So they continue to resent and they continue to try to make themselves feel better with some sort of negative reinforcement of I'm better than this person or I could be doing that, or just so much comparison.

I don't think a lot of people get past that point.

So if you can be real enough with yourself, you don't have to tell anybody.

Don't tell anybody what the insecurity is.

I don't really express my jealousy or like talk about it that much because it makes me like cringe because i know that it's just me feeling a lack of something, right? so if you can admit where you feel the lack, you are a million steps ahead. and what i was saying earlier is jealousy is such a potent strong emotion and we don't want to lose that potency. we want to use that for something good. we just have to shift it and take our power back and come from a more abundant headspace that's really how we can turn jealousy into inspiration is if we're not coming from a scarcity mindset of like, oh there's not enough for me and i can't have that and this person has that and i'm not good enough if we can shift it to, wow, that person is really inspiring me wow, they're showing me that i can do that too. i have the power and i have a desire. that's so powerful and that person is showing me that that desire can manifest in the real world and that's so exciting. you know, coming from that, it's a tricky thing to train your brain. i'll do another video on that one of these days like training your brain to think a certain way because of course like i said since we're little girls we're all taught to be so jealous and compare ourselves to each other having to retrain that to oh i'm actually so inspired like that's that's not easy that is actually like kind of really difficult to shift from so much worry and fear i know that you guys know what i'm talking about like the jealousy thing feels like a survival thing when you see something you're jealous of or you feel that pang of jealousy it's anxiety it's like oh no oh no how do i get that too oh no this person has that like it's such a it's a scary feeling so switching that scary lack to oh my goodness thank god somebody is showing me that i can do that too thank goodness that that exists because that's a guideline for me oh my gosh this is so exciting that that is happening for that person because i know that i can be excited for them and happy for them and i can create that for myself in a version that suits me even better because it's my own and it's authentic to me so yeah, we don't want to lose the potency of jealousy it's such a strong thing and i think that our inspiration can be even stronger than that jealousy because negative emotions only have so much strength, right? like they can be really all mind consuming but at the same time, we talked about earlier, it's just poison like we're just gonna end up with poisonous success and poisonous results if we're coming from jealousy and it really can't take us that far, where if we're able to make that shift into inspiration, that can take us anywhere we want to go.

And it's beautiful.

So know that if you can feel abundance and certainty in place of your lack and resentment and envy and jealousy, you can create for yourself the thing that you desire.

When you create from a place of inspiration and a place of being happy for others and excited for others, there's just so much on your side.

There's so much abundance on your side.

You're gonna attract that same excitement from other people.

You're gonna attract people who truly want you to succeed.

There's gonna be no malintent.

There's not gonna be this competitive, egotistical charge underneath you when you're creating the life that you desire.

It's gonna be good and authentic and real and it's gonna give you the foundation to really create from a place of authenticity and happiness.

That's just the best place to be.

So when you create or want something from a place of abundance and inspiration, you will attract it.

I promise.

It's hard to shift from like the seething jealousy for another person onto your insecurity because it's like I said earlier, we don't really want to look at the insecurity of ours, but it's the tool to actually get us what we want and to get you in a place of having the thing that you're jealous of. i know that it's a lot easier to just like be jealous of somebody instead of looking at yourself and what you're actually insecure about, but i promise you if you truly want that thing that somebody has, that's the first step. we gotta see what you think you're lacking in. because if you can build that up, then you are good to go. and you're coming from a place of abundance and certainty within yourself. but kind of shining the light on your insecurity in that way, it's going to show you where the gap is between you and whoever you're jealous of. it's gonna show you where you need to bridge that and what you need to do and where you need to go. like that insecurity in that, gap and the reason you feel like you're here and this person is here or you feel a lack of something that is going to give you the guideline as to what do you need to build up and what do you need to work on within yourself in order to feel adequate enough and that's gonna allow you to handle success too in whatever form you're searching for it if you can feel certainty and stability within yourself you can handle it too and you can have the thing that somebody else has too why i said that you'll be like 10 million steps ahead if you're able to sort of point out why you feel jealousy and why you feel a lack of something is because most of the people that we're jealous of or that we think are so above us or succeeding in some way are still extremely discontent they don't feel satisfied and like we look at them and their success or whatever they have money, power, fame, the job we want or whatever, we look at whatever they have and we think to ourselves, I would feel so content if I had that, or my life would just be made if I had that. but it wouldn't if you're coming from a place of jealousy and comparison and i think a lot of people don't really do this work so when they do happen to fall into the success or whatever they have, they don't really get to enjoy the fruits of their labor or really reap all the benefits and satisfaction of whatever great thing they have because they still have comparison and jealousy within themselves they're just looking to do the next big and better thing that's what we were saying earlier is like if you're doing it with the wrong intention or with comparison or ego in the front seat then it's always gonna exist there it's something that we really overlook we were talking about it's a lot easier to just be jealous of somebody instead of actually figuring out why you feel jealous.

And so I think that a lot of this like work that we're talking about is really undermined and it's just all about success success, go get what you want and go do that.

And if this person can do it, you can do it too.

And it's like, yeah, of course, like, okay, that's great.

And that's true.

But what intention do we have?

Are we coming from an authentic place of non comparison?

Are we making sure that we're not looking down on others as we're doing it or having malicious feelings in our heart for others who are doing it faster than us or in different circumstances than us?

It's so foundational and important.

I think that it would save people down the line whenever they do reach a level of whatever it is that they're wanting.

I think that people could actually really enjoy it and do more and go to the next level with more of their own power if they felt content within themselves.

People we are jealous of oh, oh my god people, people that we're jealous of most of the time feel the same thing on a different scale.

So that's- i'm not really saying that to be like.

So don't worry, you can be jealous too.

I'm saying that, as in, you are going to be really building yourself an amazing foundation if you're able to move towards your desires and the things that you want, when you realize why you're not happy that others have that, if you're able to pinpoint your insecurities as to why you feel jealous, you're gonna be ahead of the game and be able to welcome your newfound forms of success and confidence with authentic satisfaction is what I'm trying to say.

And that will inspire you to keep going instead of festering jealousy, which will always want you to feed it.

It will always want food.

It's like a parasite, like we said, like it'll always want something from you.

If you succeed or whatever you reach a certain point, that jealousy is not going to be happy for you.

Maybe for one second, your ego is going to be like okay cool, you did it, what's next?

Look what that person's doing.

Like, the jealousy is always gonna require food and your inspiration will not.

You will feel content.

You will feel happy for those around you and yourself.

And if you can feel happy for the people who are achieving the thing that you want to achieve, you are telling yourself and everyone around you and the people that are doing the thing that you want or have the thing that you want, that you are worthy of it too, because you're excited, you're curious, you're inspired.

I think that if you- if you can walk with- if you can- if you are showing other people and the world around you that you're excited and that you know that, because this exists and because this person has done this, that you can do it too and you're excited and you're ready and you're happy for those people, then if you're excited for those people and you can move through your life and your experiences with that excitement, you're showing others that you deserve that thing too, and you will get that thing.

If you are actually walking the earth and living your everyday experience as an inspired person versus a jealous person, you will line up with everything that you want.

If you're showing people that you're worthy of this thing, you will attract opportunities that will allow you to prove that even more like.

I think the first step is being inspired and being excited by a desire or something that you want.

I can't even express how powerful it is to, instead of looking at somebody and resenting them and their achievements and being like oh, I could do it better.

That person doesn't deserve that or whatever.

Like, instead of wasting all of that, like I said, very potent emotion, instead of wasting all that energy on that, imagine inquiring. to that person how did you do this like i'm really happy for you i really admire what you're doing and i would like to know more using that energy to do that instead oh my god that is going to get you so far and i promise you it's going to relieve you of that anxiety that jealousy creates remember we were talking about that earlier like whenever you feel jealousy and you're like ah and you feel this like scarcity and like need to compensate for something that feeling of inquiring and curiosity and genuine excitement and happiness for those who have what you want it's going to give you so much relief it's gonna feel like the opposite of that it's gonna feel like you are abundant in resources and time and you can do it too and it's it's a relief to your system and it'll calm you down and it'll inspire it'll it's inspiration and that inspiration is what will take you something we say in islamic culture is mashallah and mashallah means when you feel genuine admiration for somebody's beauty or something like whenever you compliment somebody you have such beautiful eyes mashallah you're saying like you have such beautiful eyes and i'm saying that with pure god's intent i'm not saying it with any malice or any sort of jealous intent i'm saying it as a genuine authentic compliment like me and my friend max if you watch my channel you've seen her many times when we compliment each other sometimes we'll say mashallah so we really know i'm saying this out of just pure happiness for you mashallah that is such an amazing accomplishment that you've made it's like the opposite of evil eye like you know getting into all that i know multiple cultures including islamic culture as well the evil eye is whenever you are putting that jealous malice intent on somebody because that envy is just it's it's so hungry for comparison and evil and you want that person to fail so that you can feel content in some way and it's just like no we don't want anybody to fail because if that person fails it's not gonna make you more successful that person if they have some beauty in some way that you feel like you don't have or they have success like taking that away from them or making them feel bad about that it's just putting bad stuff on you man like it's just digging you deeper and deeper into the pit of what jealousy really is which is just a never-ending cycle of misery jealousy lies to you and tells you it will feel good and great once you reach this point or once you have that thing or if you had that thing but it's not true it never ever leaves and i promise you because it's so powerful we can use it for good and we can use it for inspiration yeah what other thoughts do i have on jealousy so we're kind of dealing with these being too floppy i don't really know how to fix that i think i was actually kind of wanting more height with these but that's not really what we're getting so i'm gonna have to play around with that you know what these actually might be like the lower parts here Jealousy is a very powerful tool and it can really show us everything that we want and everywhere that we secretly don't feel good enough. because insecurity is so uncomfortable to admit, we don't really tend to think about where do I feel like I'm lacking. when you really deconstruct your feelings of jealousy, it can show you how to be inspired. it's just- it's such a relieving thing to feel excitement over envy. when you start allowing yourself to do that, you will grow so much as a person and you will continue to become closer and closer and closer to the things that you want. and i think like it can be really intimidating like for example i'm a writer and being around other people who maybe have accolades that i don't or have a level of achievement or an educational background that i lack i feel like i want to compare myself immediately that voice in my head is putting me down and telling me that there's something that i don't have and that you know i want this thing and i'm not good enough it's so much easier to just be in your head about it and to feel jealous and unsatisfied and it's so intimidating to like look to those people for inspiration or to ask them questions or to surround yourself by people that you might usually be really jealous of or that you think are better than you or have something that you don't have if you can start to feel excited about the things that you were once jealous of, it's going to make you your own version of that success that you see in other people.

The more inspiration that you start to create within yourself, maybe if you have like a vision board or you have something that triggers the inspiration in you, or you put that representation of that career or that thing or that accolade or whatever it is that you want, and you continue to trigger the inspiration over the jealousy, every time you feel jealousy the more that you reinforce it to inspiration the more naturally it will start to just become inspiration and if your life is full of inspiration you will continue to surround yourself with people who inspire you and you'll continue to put yourself in situations that inspire you because you're not scared of the jealousy you're not scared of feeling resentment and feeling smaller than people or like you don't have enough because you realized okay this is where i feel like i'm lacking how can i learn from the people around me and like say that you do put yourself in a situation where you are around people who a higher status than you or they have an accolade you want like for example with me like how I said with the writers maybe I'm around a bunch of writers who are very prestigious right and if they try to give me an attitude for being curious and wanting to learn then that is their own comparative nature and their own ego and their own jealousy their own insecurities that they haven't healed if you see somebody who's genuinely happy for you and excited about your success and wants to learn more from you, if you are content with yourself, you should feel more than happy to share some wisdom with them. if anybody tries to give you a hard time for feeling excited and tries to make you feel like you are less than them, that is not... it's not your problem. you're not gonna end up like them. you're gonna have success in the ways that you want and you're going to feel good and satisfied and happy and you're gonna want to inspire others because you used your inspiration to get you so far. so it's contagious. the more that we continue to train our brains to feel excited instead of jealous and redirect it to inspiration, then we're just inspired. and being inspired is what drives our action and our motivation and eventually what we achieve we are very inclined to feel jealous but find where the jealousy is because it's powerful. find out where you're jealous, who are you jealous of, and use them as inspiration and as like a guideline and a roadmap of how did they get this thing and how can i do it in my own way that is authentic and exciting to me. the building blocks are what is your insecurity and what is your desire and turning that into inspiration that will fuel you and take you so far.

Also, guys, I don't know if I'm loving what I'm making here so far.

Okay, no, no, no.

Okay, I'm getting more of a vision now, a little bit.

Okay.

Yeah, no, no, no, no.

We're getting somewhere.

We're getting somewhere with this.