Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
You know, lately, I've been feeling like life just isn't fun anymore.
Have you noticed this too?
You know that people just don't seem to laugh the way they used to, or let themselves be ridiculous or silly.
It's almost as if somebody turned down the volume on being human.
And look, I get it because you either feel so burnt out or stressed out that you just don't have the energy to be yourself.
Or maybe there's so many serious things going on that you feel like you got to hold it together and your real personality can't come through.
And I often think about the fact that I don't think a lot of people are having fun.
Because everything in today's world is just so curated, so controlled, so aesthetically perfect for social media.
Because instead of having fun, people are focused on trying to portray a certain look.
And have you noticed this?
Have you noticed that when you go out to dinner at a restaurant, remember when the tables in a restaurant used to be buzzing with laughter and chaos and conversation.
But now, I mean, just think about being in a restaurant.
What are people doing?
Most people are just sitting there quietly across the table from each other.
They're not even talking.
Why?
Oh, well, they're scrolling on their phones in silence.
I mean, how sad.
And don't get me wrong.
I know there are absolutely devastating things that are going on in the world right now.
And that you might be like a lot of people who feel very burnt out and exhausted.
And it can be so hard to think about having fun when you feel like the world is crashing down around you or you just are so tired at the end of the day.
But somehow right now, that just feels gone.
I wanted to call this out and have a conversation with you about how life just does not feel as fun anymore.
And, more importantly, I want to talk about the importance of fun and six ways that you and I can bring fun back into your life, starting today.
Because fun isn't just some frivolous thing.
There's very important and compelling research that I'm going to share with you today about how micro moments of fun I'm talking laughter silliness, joy they're critical for happiness, resilience.
And if you're experiencing burnout or you're feeling depressed or you have a lot of anxiety right now, Having micro moments of fun actually help you in those moments that are really hard.
See, fun is what makes you human.
Fun is what makes life worth living.
Fun isn't optional.
Fun is how you feel alive again.
So how about you and I have some fun?
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
You know, it's always such an honor to be together and to get to spend this time with you.
And if you're a new listener or you're here because somebody shared this episode with you.
Well, first of all, I just want to take a moment and welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
I am so excited that you're here, and I'm especially excited that you chose this episode, because today you and I are talking about why life isn't fun anymore and the six ways to bring the energy, joy and fun back into your life.
And I want to start out our conversation by reading you this post that came across my feed.
It's written by a writer and an editor named Barry Rogers at The Hindu, which is India's national newspaper.
Let me read this post to you.
People are not fun anymore.
Not in that wild, chaotic, laugh till your stomach hurts way.
Everyone's just tired, polite, curated.
You go out and it's like someone turned the volume down on the entire human race.
A few tables might still be buzzing.
Couples eating in silence.
Friends scrolling through reels while their drinks sweat on the table.
Everyone just vaguely present, but emotionally on airplane mode we've somehow swapped personality for polish.
No one wants to be the loud one or the weird one or the one who talks too much.
Instead, we're all trading the same three opinions and saying oh, I saw this on Instagram, like it's a personality trait.
It's exhausting.
People had quirks.
They had ridiculous stories, terrible jokes, a sense of humor that wasn't borrowed from a meme page.
Conversations didn't become disclaimers.
You could say something stupid and laugh it off.
You could be dumb, dorky, deeply unserious.
And no one was trying to cancel you for not being aesthetic enough.
We need to bring that back.
The messy, the unfiltered fun, the art of talking complete nonsense, the joy of making each other laugh without needing to be clever.
Honestly, some of the best conversations happen when you're just being silly and slightly unhinged, not when you're performing your best LinkedIn version of yourself over dinner.
That's what's missing, real people, real personalities.
Not everything needs to be intellectual or intentional.
Sometimes it's okay to talk about the dumbest things.
And sometimes laughing at yourself is the healthiest thing you can do.
Bring back the chaos.
Bring back the nonsense.
Bring back the people who interrupt you mid-sentence with an even worse story.
Bring back the fun.
I don't know about you, But holy cow, did that post really hit home for me.
And also just consider this is a post written by somebody who is probably halfway around the world because they're a writer and editor for India's largest newspaper, which means everybody everywhere is kind of experiencing this.
That there's been this massive shift, that we're all so weighed down by everything going on in the world.
Like, just stop and think about it.
How much time you spend on your phone and you're so focused on how you're being perceived by other people that it just feels like life isn't fun anymore.
Plus, you're probably exhausted.
So fun feels like it's going to be a lot of work.
And when you're exhausted, you don't want to do anything that feels like a lot of work.
And look, I don't want to have a conversation about fun without saying look, there's some very real problems in the world.
But what we need to talk about is how do you bring back the lightheartedness, the joy, the playfulness, the silliness, the laughter that you and I remember happening?
Because fun is not a luxury.
It's not something that just is for kids or for birthday parties.
Fun's a necessity in life.
Fun energizes you.
It helps you connect with other people.
It lowers your stress.
It makes you healthier.
And I was inspired to talk about this both because of that post that Barry wrote, but also because of my friend Char.
My friend Char is so fun.
I just spent a weekend with her and she inspired me so much because she brings the fun everywhere we go.
And so we were spending the weekend together.
It was four couples and they signed us up for this like three hole, not three hole.
It's a nine hole three.
No, it wasn't a three par either.
See, I don't even really understand golf, but I said, yes, I'm going to say yes.
I'm going to go play golf because everyone else is going and I'm going to have fun.
And it was a golf tournament that was nine holes and they had a theme, and the theme was the 1970s legends.
And so it was not only a tournament.
So here I don't play golf.
And so immediately I'm like, a tournament.
I even wrote to the club and was like, are you sure it's okay?
Like, I don't even own golf shoes.
I can swing a club.
I can have a lot of fun.
I can drive the cart, but I don't want to be in a tournament where people are going to be super uptight.
And then they're upset that somebody really terrible.
And he's like, no, no, no, no.
It's a Think it means that if you don't play golf, you can play golf.
But there was this theme to this golf tournament, and it was 1970s legend.
And because Char was the host and because she is the ambassador of fun, she was like we're dressing up.
Make sure you pack a costume.
And so Chris and I racked our brains.
We're like, okay, what costume are we going to do?
Plus, it's probably going to be 80 degrees.
Plus, we need to swing a golf club.
So I'm like, okay, 70s legends.
I'm going to go with Slim's Aaron, you know, that famous like 1970s ski and beach photographer.
And I'm going to go full on 1970s ski outfit.
I'm going to wear the stretchy pants with the suspenders and a crazy yellow t-shirt.
And I'm going to wear my like kind of aviator blue glasses because those are kind of 1970s.
The only thing Chris could find was a red sequin tuxedo jacket that was leftover.
We've got a box in our basement that's full of leftover costumes.
We showed up for this tournament.
I am not a golfer, but we are dressed for success.
We are dressed for fun.
We are dressed and rolling up to the tournament in our costumes.
We had one guy dressed as Ricky Bobby.
What was that movie that Ricky Bobby was in?
Does anybody?
What is it?
I knew the movie.
I can't say it.
You know the movie because Will Ferrell was in it.
He looked fricking fantastic.
His wife was dressed as like the pit crew person.
We had another person who was dressed as evil Knievel and then Char, our host.
Oh my gosh.
Imagine this, a golf tournament.
She shows up wearing this like sequined mini dress thing and a visor and a wig and knee high plastic white go-go boots.
Check out this video if you're watching on YouTube.
I'm going to show a video of her walking and putting, wearing this costume.
She played in that for nine holes.
Every time I looked at her, I was laughing out loud.
Now, here's the interesting part.
There were probably 100 people who played in this tournament.
There were maybe 12 of us who dressed up.
And I'm going to go on the record and say the 12 of us who dressed up, and the eight of us in our group in particular, had way more fun in that tournament than the people who didn't.
I'm going to tell you why.
Because when you're in a costume and you are bringing the fun, you don't take anything that seriously.
You have fun.
And the question is, so why wouldn't everybody dress up?
Like why?
How often in your adult life do you get to put on a funny costume?
How often do you get to wear something you would never normally wear?
You're not going to walk into work in an evil Knievel costume.
Maybe you should.
Maybe you should mix things up.
You're not going to walk into work in a pair of go-go boots and a short mini dress.
And typically you don't walk on a golf course wearing those things either.
How often do you get to wear something you would never normally wear and then play golf in it?
You know, I have not laughed that hard in a long time.
And it turns out that laughing makes you healthier.
There are so many studies on laughter.
We got to do a whole like conversation about laughter, maybe get an expert in here.
But let me just hit you with this.
The National Cancer Institute reports that regular laughter check this out strengthens your immune system by lowering stress hormones in your body.
It also increases the number of natural killer cells and activated T cells that you have.
These are two key players that keep your body healthy and resilient.
So there's a lot of research around this.
I mean, I think we know that laughter is good medicine.
We feel better when we're laughing.
And I'm here to remind you that, even when life is hard, even when it seems like life isn't fun anymore, it is so important for you to understand the importance of these micro moments and these intentional moments of bringing fun and energy and joy back into your life.
And I want to also define fun for a second, because it can be surprisingly hard to put this concept into words, because we all know it when we feel it.
Like, you know when you feel like you're having fun, right?
You feel light, you feel bright, like it's happy and bubbly and there's like a balloon filling up your chest.
Well, there's also this incredible book, The Power of Fun by Katherine Price.
And she says that fun has three ingredients, playfulness, connection, and flow.
Let's unpack this for just a sec.
Now, playfulness means you're not taking yourself too seriously.
My daughter, Kendall, has this saying, mom, it's not that deep, okay?
Playfulness means you're in the, it's not that deep mode.
You're not marching in saying, today, I'm having fun, damn it.
No, that's not what you're doing.
You're just not taking yourself too seriously.
And that's exactly how we rolled into that golf tournament.
In fact, I want you to think about something.
When's the last time you put on a costume?
Halloween doesn't count.
And if you can't remember ding ding ding, ding ding, that is a major sign that you need to be having a little bit more fun.
It's a major sign that playfulness and not taking yourself or life too seriously from time to time is something that's really important to do.
The second piece of fun is connection.
Connection means fun usually involves other people.
Even if you're introverted, sharing experiences with other people just amplifies the fun.
And the third thing that she writes about is flow, meaning you're immersed in the moment.
And then when you're immersed in the moment, time disappears.
And what else disappears?
Oh, let me tell you what else disappears.
Your worries about the past, your anxiety about the future, your to-do list, the heaviness, the stress.
It just melts away.
I mean, for me it was kind of hard to be anxious about anything, as I'm wearing a 1970s ski outfit on a golf course.
And for you, if you think about the last time that you really had fun, like when's the last time you had a belly laugh with your friends?
When's the last time you sat with somebody that was hilarious, that you just were laughing around?
When's the last time you broke out, I don't know, a puzzle or a board game and you just had fun?
If you can't remember, I'm so glad you're listening because it's time for you to have fun again.
Playfulness, connection, flow.
If you can inject these three things into something that you do today.
Now you got the recipe for fun.
Have I got you hooked yet?
I bet I do.
Have I got you thinking about the last time you dressed up in a costume?
I bet I do have you thinking about that.
And I bet you're also thinking, okay, Mel, I get it.
Fun's important.
I get.
Playfulness, connection and flow are really important ingredients.
How do I fit this into my life?
I mean, I'm already waking up at 5am so that I have a chance to take care of myself before the kids get up.
And then I got to get the kids ready for school.
Then I got to go to work or school.
Then I got to come home.
I got to make dinner.
I got to feed the dog.
I got to do work after dinner.
And then I'm just crashing.
Where is the time for fun?
I'm so glad you asked, because there are six simple habits or ways or steps.
You can call them whatever you want.
We're having fun today, so we're not going to get serious.
That help you insert fun starting today, starting right now.
And that brings me to number one.
You ready for the number one way to have more fun?
Wear the pink glasses.
In fact, I'm going to do it right now.
I'm 1970s engineering glasses, and I'm going to put on my fun pink glasses, right?
I know you can't see them if you're listening.
If you're watching on YouTube right now.
I'm thrilled to be here with you and you can see me in my pink aviator glasses.
These are neon pink glasses in the aviator shape.
I love these glasses.
And I know a bazillion people are now going to ask me who makes these glasses.
I'm not sure who makes these glasses, but I'm sure we'll put it in the caption, because so many of you are going to ask and you're going to crash the inbox, which wouldn't be that fun, but it could be kind of fun.
But anyway, you might be thinking, Mel, what do you mean, wear the pink glasses?
Well, this is a habit for how you can think about inserting fun right now, today.
I'm talking about one small fun change.
I put on the pink glasses, don't I look like I'm having more fun?
Aren't the pink glasses just kind of fun?
Do you see how easy that is?
Fun doesn't have to be some big production.
You don't necessarily have to dress up in a costume to have fun.
Just putting on glasses that are different can be fun.
Wearing socks that are different can be fun.
Being a little chattier, a little more energizing, telling a funny story before a meeting can be more fun.
Here's another example of one small fun change, like wearing the pink glasses.
Why not put on your favorite song while you're doing the dishes today?
Just one small fun change.
I mean, it immediately creates more fun.
Like you put on the amazing and I typically, when I'm doing the dishes, I either like disco music from the 70s or I love Motown.
Or the other thing I love to do is I love to take the live concert track of one of my favorite songs and just crank it.
And next thing you know, dishes are way more fun.
I mean, you have to do dishes anyway.
When you put on music like that and you make this one small fun change to the thing that you have to do boom, all of a sudden connection, all of a sudden playfulness, all of a sudden in flow.
How about at lunch today?
If you're at work, why not go for a walk with your coworkers?
I'm dead serious about this.
Why not work on a crossword puzzle?
Why not break out a deck of cards?
Put on funny socks?
How about you decorate your desk with bright colored frames or a funky plant?
How about you make the joke that you always kind of choke down?
Go, should I make this?
I might think it's funny.
Or when somebody asks you, what'd you do this weekend?
Think of the funniest thing that happened and tell them.
Instead of saying, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And here's the thing.
You're going to feel so stupid when you're doing it.
When you put on the pink glasses, you might feel a little self-conscious.
When you ask your colleagues to go for a walk, it might feel a little funny.
When you put on the music when you're alone at home, you might be like, okay, this is kind of weird.
But when the music hits, you're not going to be thinking about that at all, because it's going to be impossible to not smile.
Yes, these are all tiny things.
These are things that you can do every day that can add more joy, a little bit of laughter, a little bit of lightness.
Don't you deserve a little lightness?
And here's one reason why.
A little bit of lightness, a little silliness, a little playfulness, a little laughter Here's one reason why this isn't so little.
It's actually quite big.
There is powerful research around fun, around joy, around silliness.
Dr. Judith Joseph, she is a world-renowned double board certified psychiatrist and researcher.
She has published the landmark research study about high functioning depression, along with research studies on anxiety ADHD, depression and more.
Her research has found that small Daily moments of joy and fun are essential for your life and your health.
That happiness?
Check this out.
Happiness is created by increasing the small moments of joy, of fun, of laughter, of silliness.
And, more importantly, I want you to hear this not having small moments of joy silliness playfulness laughter, not having these things in your life can be a cause of burnout and a feeling of numbness and sadness in your life.
I want to say that again because this is really important.
And it's especially important if you have a lot of serious things going on.
And so I want to really unpack this research, that Dr Judith Joseph's research has found that small daily moments of joy and fun are essential for your life, for your health, for your resilience.
That happiness is created by increasing these small moments of silliness and laughter.
That's why you gotta lean into this.
And, more importantly, that when you don't have small moments of joy happiness silliness, fun in your life, it can cause burnout.
It can cause a feeling of numbness and it can cause more sadness in your life.
So it's both a cause and a contributing factor to why you're so exhausted.
And it's also the antidote.
It's also the thing that can lift you up.
Dr Judith Joseph says that these points of joy, that her phrase, that she uses in her clinical research, are a prescription that she gives to her patients in her practice.
Now, I bet that research got your attention and it makes sense, doesn't it?
Right?
Because if you're not having any fun in your life, everything does feel heavier and more serious.
If you don't have the ability to escape the stress that you feel by laughing or mixing things up with your friends or being silly at times it makes things more serious.
And so I want you to think about getting intentional about these small tiny joyful fun, silly things that you can do to bring the fun back into your life, as a way to lift you out of the heaviness.
That's why this matters.
This isn't a little topic at all.
It's as big as it can get.
This is a way you fight the feelings that you have that are weighing you down.
And that brings me to step two.
We've talked about.
Wear the pink glasses, put on the fun socks, put on the music.
Do something fun at lunch today instead of working through your lunch today.
One small fun change today.
And that's going to bring us to step number two, which is just say yes to fun.
And we're going to talk all about how you can say yes to fun, after we take a short break to hear a word from our amazing and fun sponsors.
And while you're listening to them, I want you to share this conversation with people in your life, anybody your sister, your brother, your kids, your coworkers, anybody that you're like.
Oh, this person needs to have more fun.
Send this episode to them because we all deserve to have more fun.
And we're going to jump right back into this and the research and how you can start having more fun today after this short break.
So stay with me.
Welcome back.
It's your buddy Mel Robbins.
Today, you and I are talking about six ways that we can have more fun in our lives, starting today, and the research that explains why it's not only important, it's actually crucial for your health, for your resilience, for your ability to feel more energized.
You deserve this.
I'm so glad you're here.
Now, we've already talked about one way that you can have fun, which is wear the pink glasses.
Just focus on one small change every day that you can make that is going to bring the fun.
And that brings me to the second thing I want you to do.
And that is you have to say yes to fun.
Do you know how much you miss out on in terms of having fun because you're just saying no?
I want you to stop shutting yourself down.
Like, did you skip the comedy show?
Oh, it's too late.
I'm tired.
I work too late.
Do you skip the company outing because it feels like work to socialize with your coworkers?
Do you skip the cake because it's, quote, unhealthy?
Fun is not about saying no.
It's about saying yes.
You know, when a friend says, do you want to try a new dance class with me?
Yes.
Do you want to take a break and go grab a coffee?
Yes.
Do you want to try this super cringy speed dating thing together?
Yes.
Sometimes the most fun experiences are the ones you didn't even want to do in the first place.
I mean, look at me with golf.
The moment that Char invited us to be in the tournament, Chris is basically like, a bananas golfer.
I can barely hold a club.
I almost was like, nope, nope.
Do you know how much fun I would have missed out on?
Instead, I just took the advice, say yes to having more fun.
Because having more fun, being silly or being playful...
It actually requires you to be open to it.
You got to be open to new things and to not taking the new things or your performance at the new things so seriously.
Like I almost missed out on what was one of the most fun things I've done in a while because I was worried about how I was going to look.
You know, I thought this was going to be serious.
I had to be good at it.
No, just say yes.
And here's something that always helps me say yes to the things I might be a little nervous about.
If you're somebody who is really nervous about trying something new, here's what I want to tell yourself.
Do it for the plot.
And here's what I mean by that.
Let's say you were the main character in a book or a movie.
Your main character would totally say yes to that weird speed dating thing.
They would totally say yes to trying the new dance class.
So do it for the plot means just do it for the story.
So even if speed dating is not fun and you meet a bunch of weirdos, let's just think for a minute about how hilarious the story is going to be that you can tell your friends later.
So the speed dating isn't necessarily fun, but the story and the laughing about it sure is.
Here's another example.
Let's say you go out with your coworkers and let's just say, maybe you hit it a little too hard and maybe you feel a little hungover the next morning at work.
Doesn't it make work a thousand times more interesting the next day?
Of course it does.
And speaking of doing things that you might not be comfortable with, that brings me to the third way to have more fun in your life, starting today.
Be bad at it, because being bad at it is really fun.
I mean, it's fun to be bad at something.
You want to know what's actually boring?
It's people who are good at everything.
I mean, do you think the person who shows up to tennis or pickleball and just destroys everyone and takes it so seriously is having a lot of fun?
No, because they're trying to win and they're taking it seriously.
Or what about the person who steps up to the mic?
And they literally have to nail every single note like they're Whitney Houston.
Do you think they're having the most fun?
No, because they're performing for perfection.
Having fun is about trying something fully, throwing yourself into it and not caring if you're good or bad at it.
I mean, think about me in golf.
I literally was horrible at it.
Horrible.
We didn't count one shot that I took, all nine holes.
I don't care.
It's fun to be bad because there's no pressure.
And here's the thing.
When you're willing to be bad at something—
You not only open the door to fun, you also give other people around you permission to try to be bad and to have fun and to laugh at themselves too.
I think social media has made you and me so terrified of failing, of looking stupid, of being caught not looking perfect or ending up on some embarrassing TikTok page.
But here's the thing.
That fear of being bad is what's holding you back.
The fear of looking stupid is why you're not having fun.
I mean, it's okay to make a joke and nobody really laughs.
I mean, that's how you learn to tell better ones.
Okay.
Let's not take things too seriously.
It's okay to be terrible at tennis.
I mean, you just started.
And when you're terrible at it, you have an excuse for being bad at it because you just started.
Now you can laugh at yourself.
It's okay to be an awful dancer. you're not auditioning for Dancing with the Stars.
You know, in fact, I'm one of these people that I personally believe, when I'm on a dance floor, that I am a great dancer.
Like, are you a person like this?
You get out on the dance floor and you envision yourself having all the moves and the grooves.
And I recently saw a video that Chris shot of me dancing And I got to tell you I'm a really bad, awkward dancer.
I was very surprised to see that when I'm dancing, I think it looks a certain way.
But when I'm watching a video of me dancing, it doesn't look like that at all.
And so it's not only fun to dance.
It was also hilarious to see that I'm actually pretty awkward dancer, but I don't care, because being bad at something is also fun.
And that brings me to a fourth way to have way more fun in your life starting today.
I want you to be the driver of the fun bus.
Now, what does that mean?
It means this.
Instead of sitting around feeling exhausted and tired, crossing your arms and just waiting around for the fun bus to pull up and drag you on it and drive off with you.
Come on, admit it.
You're waiting for the invite.
You're waiting for somebody else to throw the golf costume party.
You're waiting for somebody else to crack the joke.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
One of the fastest ways to have more fun in your life is to take responsibility for having more fun in your life.
You be the driver of the fun bus.
You sit in this driver's seat.
You drive the fun for yourself and for everyone else around you.
Let me give you some examples of what this looks like.
Have you ever been at a concert and it's kind of mellow and everybody's sitting there?
And then all of a sudden one person stands up and starts dancing.
And for a minute, it looks a little weird.
And then all of a sudden, a second.
And then all of a sudden, a third.
And next thing you know, like everybody's standing up.
All it takes is one person to drive the fun bus.
And why is it that everybody joins in?
There's a lot of research and science about this.
There's actually a famous video of a guy kind of twirling at a concert and you watch it for like 30 seconds and then people start to join in and then it becomes a whole mob scene of people dancing.
It's because when we see somebody else having fun, We are wired to want to have fun too.
When you see somebody else laughing, you want to be laughing too.
We're drawn toward it because we need it in our lives.
I mean, when you think about the waves, you know that go around a sports arena there was a person who started the wave.
And even though you see the wave coming and you feel kind of oh, and then you do the wave.
It's fun when it goes.
And you're like, oh, right.
Why shouldn't it be you who starts a wave?
Why sit around waiting for somebody else to do it?
One of the best ways to bring the fun in any situation is just go first and be bad at it.
So I want you to think about being at a wedding.
We've all been at a wedding, right?
And the bride and groom.
After the ceremony they come in, they announce them to the tent, they do their dance.
And then all of a sudden, the DJ starts playing or the band starts playing.
And what do people do?
People sit in their chairs and stare at the empty dance floor.
What if you were the first person on the dance floor?
That's how you drive the fun bus.
I mean typically at a wedding.
It's usually an older couple and they get out there and they do that swing dance thing where they spin each other around.
And then next thing you know, a bunch of other people are coming.
All it takes is one person to break the seal.
That's it.
What if today at work, as everybody's chatting about their weekend?
What if you're the first person to have the silly thing to share in the meeting?
Like instead of being like, yeah, we hung out with the kids.
Like think of something funny.
That's how you bring the fun.
Be the first person to start the sing-along on the bus or at the ball game.
That's how you bring the fun.
And look, if you're not naturally that like, okay, I'm not really the go first kind of person, Mel.
I can't even imagine stepping onto a dance floor, you know, and being the first person, or grabbing my girlfriends and going out and being the first people.
Here's something that can help with that.
I want you to assign yourself a role.
Step outside your brain and tell yourself okay today, because I know it matters and because I really want to have more fun in my life and more play in my life and I want to feel more energized and I want to feel better.
Today, I'm playing the role of driver of Fun Bus.
Today, it's my job to bring the fun.
Pretend that being silly and outgoing and unserious is your assignment for the day, and you'll be surprised at how quickly pretending becomes real.
Like, I want you to stop and think.
You have friends in your life who are the fun friends, right?
You know that your fun friends are going to bring the fun.
Because why?
Well, I'll tell you why.
That's their role in life.
And you expect it.
And you know what they do to bring the fun.
They put in extra effort in terms of the way that they make the appetizer.
They have a playlist ready.
They have a funny story that they're going to tell you.
They wear something fun to the party.
This is something that you can teach yourself to do, but you got to be intentional about it.
You got to be the driver of the fun bus and you'll be shocked at how quickly just taking on that role.
I want to be the fun friend.
Why don't you be the fun friend?
Why don't you be the fun one in the family?
Why don't you, when you get together with your family, the next time bring games.
I do this all the time.
We bring these family games, yard games that we can play.
We play games after dinner.
Salad Bowl is a big one where you put in like names of famous people and then it's like a charade.
Bring the fun.
You can do this.
Instead of sitting around waiting for the fun friend or the fun family member—and somebody just popped to mind, didn't they?
In fact, the person that popped to mind, your fun friend—for me, it's Char— the fun family member.
I want you to share this episode with them right now and just tell them you know what I appreciate about you.
You always bring the fun.
Thank you for inspiring me to start having more fun in my life too.
And don't go anywhere.
I've got more stories to tell you.
You're going to be laughing at these.
I've got two more ways to start having fun today to share with you after the short break.
So stay with me.
Welcome back.
It's your buddy Mel Robbins.
Today you and I are talking about six ways that you can start having more fun in your life today.
I also want to thank you for sharing this conversation with everybody that you care about, because we all deserve to have more fun, especially the way the world is now.
Because, as we've already covered these four simple ways to start having more fun today, I know you're nodding along, right?
Oh, I could start a wave at the next sports game.
Oh, I could jump onto the dance floor.
Oh, I could do these things.
I could dress up.
But it begs the question, why do you feel so cringy when you do these things?
What is going on?
Why does it feel hard to walk into your job wearing a hilarious tie or bright red lipstick?
Well, the answer is simple.
Because everybody's afraid of being cringy or being judged.
Like, that's why.
You're not having fun because you're afraid of other people.
And that's sad.
And that brings me to the next step.
This is a requirement.
And that step is you got to let them.
You got to stop caring about what other people think and you got to start caring about having a lot of fun in your life and being sillier and lightening up.
Your fear that people are going to judge you is keeping you from having fun and being playful and creative and energized and silly.
And I'm here to tell you, let them, let people think whatever they're going to think.
Because if they're thinking something negative about the fact that you're the first person on the dance floor, They're probably miserable in their life.
So let them be miserable.
Let them judge you.
You don't care.
You're out on the dance floor having fun.
Why do you want to hang out with people like that anyway?
Why do you care what miserable negative people think about you?
Miserable people judge you for having fun.
So let them.
Let grumpy people be annoyed that you're a little loud and laughing too hard at the restaurant.
Let somebody who's a little uptight or traditional, shall we say be annoyed by your bright neon pink glasses or your crazy costume on the golf course, or the fact that you're wearing something that's not normally something that you wear.
Whatever.
Let them, let them, let them.
The reason why they're judgy is they're uptight.
Uptight people have uptight opinions.
Because today, you and I are going to focus on the let me part.
Let me have more fun in my life.
Let me do it because it's critical to my health and happiness.
Why don't we have more fun?
The reason we don't have more fun is because we're afraid of what people will think.
We're afraid people are going to think, oh God, she's so cringe.
She's so, she's too much.
She's so embarrassing.
What a weirdo.
I mean, that joke wasn't even funny.
Oh my gosh.
If you want to have fun, you must learn to let them be miserable as you're having fun.
Let them think you're stupid.
Let them think the costume's done.
Let them think you're an idiot.
Who cares?
I mean, would you rather be the boring person obsessed with making sure nobody thinks you're weird, or the fun person that everybody, by the way, wants to be around?
Because we are drawn toward people like this, because they bring the light?
They bring the silliness.
They give everybody permission to lighten up. and to have fun with you.
When you see somebody who's unapologetically confidently themselves, somebody just dancing like I dance, thinking they're amazing and they're actually really awkward, don't they kind of make you smile?
When you see somebody across the cafe and they're just wearing something plain and then they cross their legs and right there with the lace-up Oxford dress shoes, there are these crazy socks that they're wearing.
You're like, bing, that person knows how to have fun.
That person's got some personality over there.
That's a person that's got a little going on beneath the surface.
I mean, who do you respect more?
The person who's like dancing wildly with their crazy moves, having a blast and laughing at themselves.
Or the person standing on the sidelines or sitting in their chair, scrolling as they're watching everybody else.
Who do you want to be?
You want to be the person dancing on the floor having fun?
Or do you want to go through life with your arms crossed, sitting on the sidelines watching everybody else?
Well, because you're listening, I know you wanna be the one who's on the dance floor.
You wanna be the one who's driving the bus and taking responsibility for having fun.
You wanna be the one starting the wave.
You wanna be the one rolling up to the golf course in the costume.
You wanna be the one getting everybody in the office to sit at lunch and play the game or work on a puzzle.
You wanna be the one.
That's like getting a walking group together with your friends or your colleagues or your neighbor.
We have somebody in our office who's constantly challenging people in the office to do things like handstands.
Headstands, talking about like the jujitsu moves.
There's constantly somebody doing something in the office and it makes it so much more fun.
Here's another idea.
Next time you invite your friends over for dinner, make a theme, have everybody dress up.
See, we're all just sitting around waiting for somebody else to create opportunities to have fun.
And I'm here to tell you, you are responsible for this in your own life.
And you are going to have so much more fun when you just lean into it.
There's a silly side of you.
There's a side of you that knows how to laugh more, knows how to be more creative.
And I am inviting you and begging you, for everybody's sake, that you really embrace this side of yourself.
Not only is it going to make yourself feel better, it is going to shift everything for everyone around you.
It's going to make everything better.
And that brings me to the final thing that I want to say about having more fun today.
For crying out loud, stop saying you're too old.
You're too old, you're too tired, you're too this, you're too that, you're too whatever.
But mostly stop saying you're too old to have fun.
You know why you and I remember having so much fun as kids?
Because kids do things that are genuinely fun.
Things that adults somehow decide that we're not allowed to do anymore.
First of all, kids play.
They jump into foam pits at birthday parties.
They swing.
They slide.
They sing at the top of their lungs.
They wear costumes.
They decorate their rooms in colors that don't match.
But then what happens?
Oh, we become an adult.
We want everything to look perfect for Instagram.
Your house turns beige.
Your clothes get grayer.
You decide costume parties or, oh, I'm just not that kind of person.
You think going out is unhealthy.
You're too exhausted to even try.
I want to share a story with you.
One of our producers, shout out to Yuna, recently turned 30.
And you want to know what she wanted to do for her birthday?
She wanted to do a backflip.
Isn't that fun?
So she rented out a gymnastics gym and hired two coaches, and she and her 30-year-old friend spent the night attempting a backflip.
And guess what?
They had a blast.
And they discovered one guy was secretly a gymnastics prodigy.
Another one managed to vault over the bars and most people face-planted spectacularly.
And you want to know what?
Nobody cared.
I mean, just think about it.
Have you ever jumped on a trampoline and not had fun?
I mean, try it.
It's impossible.
And here's the best part.
As Yuna walked out with her 30-year-old friends, a line of five-year-olds walked in dressed as mermaids and princesses.
And check this out.
The gym had never hosted an adult birthday party before.
In fact, when they went to sign the waivers, you know the line where you sign and it typically says name.
These waivers said child's name on them.
I mean, isn't that hilarious?
Of course it's hilarious.
It reminds me of one other thing.
When we were home visiting my parents in Michigan, my mom was walking around the house and I was talking about the fact that she has the living room painted this beautiful pink color.
And she turned and she said, well, I just love fun colors.
Everybody's house is beige.
It's so boring.
I love having color around because it's fun.
And so you can also take a note from my mom and paint a wall a cool color just because it's fun.
The bottom line is you're not too old.
You're not too tired.
You're not too exhausted.
Things aren't too serious for you to have more fun, to have a quirky hobby, to get a crazy haircut, to learn a new sport, even if you look ridiculous at first, to dress up for Halloween or any holiday or any dinner party or heck, throw a dinner party or a barbecue that has a theme.
Host a theme party.
Why?
Well, just because it's fun.
Sing karaoke.
Badly.
I love every second of it.
Why?
Because it's fun.
Take a dance class.
Try hip hop.
Trip over your own feet.
Why?
Because it's fun to be bad at something.
Wear glitter.
Sequence.
Or like do something cool with your nails.
That's a fun way to have fun.
Break out from the real neutral color and actually get some killer design.
You're never going to be younger than you are right now.
And you want to know the best day to start having more fun?
It's today.
So the six things I want you to keep in mind so that you have so much more fun.
I want you to wear the pink glasses.
Just one small fun change that helps you have fun today.
Say yes to fun.
Stop saying no.
Say yes.
And remember, you're going to have a great story to tell even if you didn't have fun doing it.
Be bad at it because being bad at something is really fun.
Don't wait for fun to come.
I want you to step into the driver's seat of the fun bus and bring it.
For crying out loud.
Stop caring about other people being cringy and just let them be uptight and judgy.
We don't care about them.
You care about you having more fun.
And finally stop saying you're too old, you're too this, you're too that, and start saying yes to more silliness, to more laughter, to more fun, to more lightness.
Because I promise you, when you do... you will have more energy.
You will feel more joy.
You will feel better prepared and capable to face the things that you need to face.
And you're going to finally start feeling like yourself again.
You're going to feel alive again.
And that's what I want most for you.
I want you to stop feeling like you're on autopilot.
I want you to stop experiencing life like it's on a grayscale.
Because what's the point of being here if we're not having fun along the way?
That's what I want you to do.
I want you to have a bright, loud, lively, silly, playful, joyful, beautiful life.
And in case no one else tells you today, as your friend, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life.
And based on the research and common sense, a better life is a life that is full of fun.
So I hope you go out and have some.
Alrighty, I'll see you in the very next episode.
I'll be waiting to welcome you in the moment you hit play.
I'll see you there.
Okay.
You ready?
Okay.
Here we go.
All right.
Thank you.
But I remember, hold on a second.
My mouth is like, let me start over.
Cause my great.
Really?
It's not too depressing.
Sure.
Can you guys hear me?
How is that?
Good.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll set that up one more time.
Oh my God.
We had one guy dressed as Ricky Bobby.
What was that movie that Ricky Bobby was in?
Does anybody?
What is it?
I knew the movie.
I can't say it.
You know the movie.
You know that your fun friends are going to be fun to being.
You know that your fun friends are going to be fun to be.
Oh, my God.
I can't even talk today.
That's how excited I am about the fun.
Oh, and one more thing.
And no, this is not a blooper.
This is the legal language.
You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you.
This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes.
I'm just your friend.
I am not a licensed therapist.
And this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.
Got it?
Good.
I'll see you in the next episode.
