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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeart Radio.
Good morning.
This is laura.
Welcome to the before breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to try a collaborative riff.
Rather than getting stuck with small talk about the weather, try creating something with your conversation partner instead.
Today's tip comes from behavioral scientists Maya Rosignac-Milan and Erica Boothby.
In a New York Times article, they proposed what they call collaborative riffing as an alternative to small talk.
They write.
Our aim in conversation shouldn't be to mine for surface-level commonalities or go on a charm offensive.
Instead, we should ask ourselves, what could we create together in this moment?
I definitely appreciated their portrayal of small talk as usual.
You're having a root canal next week?
I had a root canal last week.
You're from a small town in Iowa?
I'm from a small town in Massachusetts.
Sometimes these superficial similarities do pave the way for real connection.
But more often they remain an uninteresting game of ping pong, with the ball going back and forth and getting nowhere.
In particular,
That is where collaborative riffs come in.
The authors explain when riffing speakers resist the urge to counter every observation with their own example.
Instead, building bridges to new ideas, like that reminds me of, or tossing in a can you imagine if.
They refer to earlier parts of the conversation to create inside jokes.
Collaborative riffing is more playful than typical conversation and can be more fun and creative.
You could see how this would play out.
For instance, if a friend from work mentions she watched K-pop Demon Hunters over the weekend and you watched Inside Out 2, you could suggest lightly that it sounds like you have the beginnings of a list of kid movies that parents actually like.
Your colleague might then accept your subtle invitation to suggest another movie to go on the list, and then you could build from there.
That is a collaborative riff.
Maybe, after listening to a Splendid Table podcast episode about all the things you can do with instant ramen, you make yourself ramen for lunch with shredded carrots and leftover chicken.
Then on a Zoom work meeting right after lunch.
In the pre-meeting chit-chat time you could mention the podcast in what you just ate.
If your colleagues seemed to find ramen lunch appealing, you could all then brainstorm together other ingredients to use with ramen.
Instead of the usual three minutes of boring chit-chat, you all riffed together on interesting lunch ideas.
You just might get your creative juices flowing for the meeting.
You discover what foods your colleagues like in case you want to invite them to lunch in the future.
And you may even get ideas for future ramen lunches.
Creating something together, whether serious or playful, is a lot more fun than talking about the weather or shallow similarities.
So consider giving it a try.
And you might enjoy small talk a lot more.
In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening.
And here's to making the most of our time.
Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at LauraVanderkam.com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeart Media.
For more podcasts from iHeart Media, please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Have you ever listened to those true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers?
Who catfishes a city?
Is it even safe to snort human remains?
Is that the plot of Footloose?
I'm comedian Rory Scovel and I'm here to tell you Josh Dean and I have a new podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals.
It's called Crimeless, a true crime comedy podcast.
Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey there, Dr. Jesse Mills here.
I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA and I want to tell you about my new podcast called The Mailroom.
And I'm Jordan, the show's producer.
And like most guys, I haven't been to the doctor in way too long.
I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking, but aren't.
Every week, we're breaking down the world of men's health, from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility.
We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about.
So check out The Mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your favorite shows.
This is an iHeart Podcast.
Guaranteed human.
