Good morning everyone.
This week started with heavy snowfall and plummeting temperatures, which can be a little challenging, but also a natural part of winter life in my valley.
Today I'm going to the grocery store to get some food for the week, which is always a little adventure on the rural icy roads.
Once I got back, it was time to let my rabbits out in their playpen, which is their absolute favorite part of the day.
And I have to admit, they're looking so cute with their thick winter coats.
In this video, I wanted to share with you something that I've come to realize I need to work on in 2024.
It's not a problem everyone can relate to, but it is something I've set my mind on improving this year.
And I think at least some aspects of it are relevant to most souls.
And that is, that when it comes to certain things in life, I struggle to trust myself.
And it's an interesting challenge to face because it can manifest in many ways.
For example, I often let other people in my life make decisions for me because I don't trust myself to make the right one.
I'm afraid of my own decisions because I'm afraid I'll fail somehow and it will be my fault.
I sometimes ruminate over things I said in the past, worrying that my intentions were misinterpreted or that I accidentally hurt someone, not trusting myself to have done the best I could in the moment and being at peace with that.
I often question my own intuition, especially in regard to friendships.
Someone may not treat me respectfully, and yet I'll not trust my interpretation of events and instead make excuses for them time and again, often putting myself in the position of being a pushover, afraid to speak my mind.
Recently, I tried to take a big step forward on this journey and set a very important boundary with a longtime acquaintance.
This person had a tendency to make fun of me in public when I made a mistake.
And while for years I'd never addressed it and just convinced myself it was their sense of humor and I didn't want to make a fuss, I finally shared that it was hurting me.
I made a simple request, but it was so hard for me to do.
But I had grown enough to think that I deserved to receive the same kindness I wanted to give and that my point was valid.
I decided to trust myself and act.
Sadly, that person got very defensive, and our relationship hasn't been the same since.
This was my worst fear coming true, and a part of me just wanted to take back all I said.
I decided to try not to turn my back on this journey of self-trust, accepting that that does mean that sometimes relationships change and I need to grow stronger in my sense of self so I can know I have value, even if someone is upset with me.
If I'm completely honest, I do not trust that I will be kind to myself when I most need to be.
I think perhaps many of you have this tendency too.
For example, I may say I'm afraid of failure, but in reality I'm not.
I'm afraid of how I will treat myself if I fail.
I may be afraid to make a big decision, but I'm more afraid that I'll be critical and unkind to myself if I make the wrong one.
In reality, failures and mistakes are natural parts of life, and if I let it undermine my sense of self, of trust and confidence in who I am, I willingly give away all my power.
I really want to spend as little time as possible this year living in fear of myself.
I want to be my best friend.
And now I'm trying to do just that.
To end the day, I decided to go out into the twilight and light some candles, making a little promise to myself that, from this day forward, I will work on developing my courage and becoming who I was meant to be.
Perhaps it's time you make this promise to yourself.
Either way, I appreciate you being here and am sending you all my love for a beautiful year.
Hello everyone, I hope you enjoyed this video.
I have been working on it for a while, so it was really lovely to share it with you, and I appreciate all your advice and insight, and I hope that at least the topic of this video is one that some of you can relate.
It's definitely something I'm really trying to change this year about myself.
It's something very important that I realized was affecting my life in a way that wasn't helping me move forward.
I have no doubt I will make significant progress this year and I hope that if you are on a similar journey that you know, I'm sending you all the encouragement and support.
I also wanted to let you all know that I finally reopened my Etsy shop.
It has taken a little while, but it is open now and I have the cottage bookmarks back in stock.
So they look like this and on the back, They say, dreaming of a little cottage in the woods.
And I really like how they turned out, so I have matching bookmarks.
My Etsy shop makes it possible for me to make videos, so I really appreciate those who are supportive of that endeavor, but there's never any obligation.
You being here is more than enough.
I do have some sad news, though.
I will no longer be able to do international shipping as of the start of February.
This is because my little post office is understaffed right now.
Currently to send international packages I have to drive a very long way to find a post office that can help me and so it's just been... huge undertaking and I've decided that it's just too much to be doing.
So I will be opening international orders for another couple weeks and I appreciate your understanding.
Unfortunately, I'm not in the position to be doing international labels and printing and all that at home, and I do rely on the post office.
So I'm just making do with the circumstances.
Thank you again for all your love and kindness and I'm wishing you a absolutely wonderful week.
Sending you so much love. and I will see you soon.
