Hey everyone, this is Keisunga, it's Wednesday and I welcome you to Radio Headspace.
I think at this point, many people know about what loving kindness is.
If not, let me take this brief moment to explain the idea of loving kindness.
The simple practice of sending love and compassion to all beings without the expectation of anything in return.
The actual formal practice involves sitting in meditative awareness, picturing certain individuals in your mind's eye, and then sending them happiness, health, peace, and safety.
And it's essential to mention that with loving kindness, before you send out any of that love and compassion to others, it's so important to first cultivate it and send it to yourself.
Because without having loving kindness for yourself, it may prove difficult to send it to others.
And actually, the act of having loving kindness in your awareness can help in reminding you to continuously send it to yourself.
One thing I can say though is that loving kindness can get kind of tricky when it comes to people we have negative feelings for.
Part of the practice is sometimes picturing in your mind's eye someone that you have conflict with.
I remember I once had a student that blurted out, why do I have to send loving kindness to someone I don't even like?
I had to laugh because I get it.
If I don't like you, why would I send you loving kindness?
This was probably the hardest hurdle for me to get over when I first started with loving kindness practice.
I tried to remember what worked for me, and not just worked, but actually made sense.
So then I asked the class, when you think of this person that you have conflict with, what kind of feelings come up for you?
They replied, disgust, anger, fear, and one person even replied, hate.
Exactly, I exclaimed.
I went on to explain to the class that we all experience these strong emotions, but what often happens is that we don't know what to do with them.
We may bury them deep inside of us, or we react to them inappropriately, or we may even have feelings of guilt for having them, and then try to ignore them.
None of these are really wise or helpful actions.
And whether we know it or not, they all produce stress for us.
And before you know it, you have physical manifestations like high blood pressure or insomnia.
And so enters loving kindness.
When you have this person in mind that rallies up negative strong emotions, instead of reacting to the emotions, acknowledge the emotions, take a pause, and then send loving kindness to this person.
It's an excellent way to counter those internal negative stress building emotions like hate.
Hate is an emotion that you can just really do a lot of damage.
The same student exclaimed the following week, so I tried what you said, Keisunga, and it didn't work.
I still felt angry and I still can't stand that person.
So remembering that this takes practice and the goal is not to magically start liking this person or persons.
You're definitely entitled to not like someone.
Loving kindness allows you to let go of or process those negative feelings in a healthy and positive way.
The dichotomies can definitely exist simultaneously.
So remember, allowing yourself to practice, practice, practice, and to always be gentle with yourself during the process.
In fact, my friend and colleague, Sam, has a loving kindness practice in the Headspace app that I would highly recommend, if you're interested.
Thanks so much for listening today.
I'll be back here with y 'all tomorrow.
In the meantime, in between time, check in with me on Instagram at keisunga and I can answer any questions that you may have.
All right, take care and have a happy and healthy day.
Bye.
